8.5 mo old suddenly forgetting how to sleep independently??!!

[Nora2kids2]

Hello,
My DD is 8.5 mo old, transited to 2 naps few weeks ago. Her A times had been 3 hr-3hr5m but the last few days she has started to take 40 mins naps so I thought it was time to increase A time.
 
Yesterday and today I started the bedtime routine at 3hr 10 or 3 hr 15 when she yawned. With the 3hr A time She fell asleep totally on her own  ( the process was : check nappy, sing a song in rockingchair, kiss on the cheek , put her in bed and I left the room-she was asleep within 5 mins after some talking, taking off at least 1 sock  and a little mantra cry)..

However, with the longer A time she fusses a lot, cries ( first mantra, then it turns into ‘someone pick me up’ cry) so I go back and try to calm her in bed -no success. I thought I should use PUPD and after 4-5 PUPD she started to calm down in the cot. Right before falling asleep she realized I was at her bed and became completely awake, tried to play with my hand etc, so I decided to leave the room and let her fall asleep on her own. When I leftthe room she got upset so  I returned and repeated the PUPD. Only after 20-30 mins she fell asleep.
What do I do wrong? I miss my independently sleeping little girl.
Thanks for any advice

[Katet]

Separation Anxiety can come into play around 8/9mo, so that could be part of the process.

 it's probably best to try & extend an A time early in the day & not at bedtime, as after the long night sleep they adjust better.

Aslo if she's only just transitioned to 2 naps, then it could be that she's just adjusting &  as the A times aren't an exact science & as babies get older the environmental stimulation can impact how tired they get, as if there is more going on & more people they can get more stimuation, and if they are starting to pull up & crawl around lots that can change it too.  I'm thinking that the wind down process is about 3-5mins & I'd say if she is more physically mobile that it probably needs to be longer & it might be that she isn't winding down enough. With DS2, I was reading to him from almost birth & I was definitely reading to DS1 at 3mo, so they are never too young to have stories & it's a great way to calm them down & help with SA as well as it's a real time for connection.

[Nora2kids2]

Thanks a lot for the quick reply.

I know that she is just about to crawl but didn’t think this could impact how she falls asleep. Will definetely try the reading idea, hope it will get her into ‘sleeping mood’

I also figured out in the meantime (after re-reading the PUPD technique section) that I held her too long in my arms with the PU, so my technique needs fine tuning.

Tomorrow is a new day with new opportunities

[Nora2kids2]

Update: falling asleep for AM nap is going well, takes 5 mins for her. However the pm nap is a struggle. She starts to cry when she realises we are going for the nap. I put her into the cot after calming her but she gets upset and I do pupd. After 3-4 pupd (or sometimes 10) she is sooo tired but cannot fall asleep unless she can hold my hand next to her face. So I was afraid my hand/me may become a prop, which I want to avoid so I combined pupd with walkinwalkout.
For the last 2 days this struggle happened at the evening sleep, as well.
Please advice what may be the issue?
I just can’t understand how come that the am nap is perfect and the pm nap + evening is so difficult .

[Katet]

If she is going to sleep well for the first nap, do you think the timing is wrong for the subsequent nap & bedtime, that she is overtired/undertired/over stimulated. I know with my boys later in the day definitely requires a longer wind-down before naps. As the day goes on they (actually we all do) build up more tension in our bodies so it takes longer to unwind.  Maybe try a different ritual  for the afternoon nap even give her a walk in the stroller or something like that for a few days to break the cycle.  Remember too that the A time isn't an exact science, some babies like longer in the morning & shorter in the afternoon others the opposite. I know that my 2 children had different routines & transitioned to less naps at different ages.

[Nora2kids2]

I tried to watch her cues as nap time is coming. Yesterday put her down after the first eye rubbing. Didn’t help. Moreover, she did the same at  2 am when she woke and I bf-ed her. After bf she was dozing off and I put her into the cot but she woke up. I guess she was sleepy enough so it took  10 sec crying and she fell asleep. Based on that it occured to me that maybe I respond too soon to her cry, but on the other hand I don’t want to go into a CIO situation, either.
I will experiment with a different pm nap routine as you suggest, hope something will work. Thanks!!!

[Nora2kids2]

Quick update and need for advice:

LO is 10.5 m old now. She tends to take long am naps (most common is 2 hr after 3hr45 or close to 4hr A times) and 30mins catnaps (after 3hr20-3hr40m A time). In the morning she falls asleep in 1 mins, in the afternoon, any time btw 2-10mins. When I do the pm nap in the stroller it may take her 30mins to fall asleep, as all the cats, dogs, other children make her so excited

I need advice on how to handle those days when the catnap falls around 4:15 pm or 4:30pm. Should I force the nap or should rather do an early BT around 5:30pm?
In EASY terms today looked like this:
6:45 - WU
4hr A  until 10:45
2hr S (I woke her at 2hr) 10:45-12:45
She showed sleep cues at 16:45 but I chose not to take her for a nap (if she sleeps for 20mins she would have woken at 17:05 and BT would have been 20:05, which may be too late considering that she needs to wake at 7am as we take bigsister to school)
started Bath and BT routine at 17:20
17:45 - S

I am not sure I chose the good scenario. What is your suggestion in such days?

thanks

[Katet]

I think if you are getting that long morning nap and don't want an 8pm bedtime with a catnap. Then don't wake her from the morning one, let it lengthen and do an early bedtime if she will sleep through to 7am if in bed at 5.30pm
Mostly when you get to 4 hours A time it's often either 10 hour night sleep and 2 naps or try to juggle on one longer nap.
With my 2 they really only did 10 hour nights and sleeping to 7am is a joy I only got when they became teens! So really it is bit of do it one way and second guess your decision. But to me if you are waking her at 2 hours after a 4 hour A time and she does 12 hours overnight then sounds like she's very close to  transition to 1 nap.

[Nora2kids2]

She does a 12h night with the 5:45pm BT and wakes at 6am (Not that bad... at least not 5am . This will change to 7am thanks to the summer clock change in 2-3 weeks (yaay)   
Until then I will try a short 20 mins catnap in the prem in case it fits into the day just to make it until a 7-7:30 pm bedtime.
I remember with DD1 it was 1 nap one day, 2 naps the other day for a while until she moved to 1 nap at 14months.  Probably DD2 will move to 1 nap earlier than bigsister

Now, DD1 is almost 10yr old and it is a struggle to wake her before 8:30am on the weekend.
It is only 9 years to go with DD1... I can’t wait