Author Topic: Big trouble with naps - 6 months old - introducing EASY  (Read 226 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Chris15

  • New & Learning The Ropes!
  • *
  • Showing Appreciation 0
  • Posts: 2
  • Location:
Big trouble with naps - 6 months old - introducing EASY
« on: February 28, 2019, 17:42:46 pm »
7 days ago, we introduced E.A.S.Y. to our almost 6 month old daughter (turns 6 months in a week), following the 4-hour routine from the book "The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems".



Back story
From birth to around a month ago, she has never had any daytime naps. Only occasionally when falling to sleep for 10-15 minutes while breast feeding. She was always breast fed to sleep at night, and fell asleep sometime between 10.00 and 11.30, and woke up sometime 7.00-9.00, having a few breast feeds during that time. She was always cranky during the days. It didn't feel normal, but our nurse told us that some kids just "are like this".
About a month ago we got the book and started reading. Almost immediately, we tried to apply the EAS structure to her, but wasn't ready to go all the way before having read the PU/PD parts. She had something like a 3,5 hour routine, always took her naps on the chest on either one of us, rocking her to sleep, or in the stroller. She usually slept 45-90 minutes, three times a day then.
We often put her to bed at around 7-7.30 and she fell asleep within an hour, after always having to nudge/push her rhythmically on her butt to get her to sleep. She often woke up after a cycle or two and had to be nudged again to fall a sleep. She usually ate two times per night: a dream feed at around 10 and when waking up in the night, at around 2-3.
After actually getting her sleep during the day, she started to become a much more happy baby! The crankiness we had seen before was probably just her always being OT.



Now
So, 7 days ago we felt that we were ready to go all in and introduce EASY, using the PU/PD as described in the book. We looked at the 4-hour routine, and did as it said in the book, and followed the clock for everything.
All her naps are now in her own bed, which is a bed-side crib on the side of our bed.
E: 7:00 wake up and feed + diaper change
A: 8:00 
S: 9:00 (start wind down 8.45)
E: 11:00 
A: 12:00 
S: 1:00  (start wind down 12.45)
E: 3:00 
A: 4:00
S: 5.00 catnap (start wind down 4.45)
E: 5.30-6.00 (depending on catnap)
A: bath, song
S: 6.30-7.30 night time (depending on catnap)
E: 10.00 dream feed


However, since day one we have had a real struggle with the naps! She hasn't napped more than 30 minutes in one go since we started, and we're not sure what to do. PU/PD doesn't seem to help us.

Eating time also often differ from the schedule. She breast feeds for at least 15 effective minutes, but that always takes at least an hour (incl. diaper change) for her to get. She's had tongue-tie and swallowed a lot of air during feedings (causing reflux symptoms), but was operated for it at 3,5 months age and has improved eating technique since.

The naps usually looks like this:
9.00 (8.45) nap: She usually falls a sleep sometime between 8.50 and 9.30, often without any PU/PD. Then she sleeps for max 30-45 minutes total - often with one wakeup. Then she wakes up screaming. Doing PU/PD until 11.00 (as suggested in the book) has worked once. That time she woke at 9.20, then fell asleep again at 10.50.

1.00 (12.45) nap: It takes longer time to get her to sleep than the 9.00 nap. When we get her to sleep, she sleeps for less time than during the early nap (< 30 minutes). So here we often have a 1 hours PU/PD.

5.00 (4.45) nap: Usually, we do PU/PD until 5.30, which is where we put the limit for trying the cat nap. I think she's fallen asleep once, that time it was at 5.20.

Night time: The nights, though, has improved! Usually she now sleeps all the way to the dream feed time (or wakes up at most once). Then she usually sleeps until 5:30-6:00, when she wakes up a few times for a few minutes before falling asleep again and sleeps until 7.00 when we wake her. She has had that night meal three times since the introduction (at different times and eating a full meal).

Sleep, generally: When putting her down to sleep for naps, she's drowsy after the wind down. But if she doesn't fall asleep within 10 minutes, she wakes up and start to play with her blanket, or feet if she can't grab her blanket. Even when she seems to get tired, she just won't close her eyes and fall asleep on her own if she missed that first chance.

PU/PD trouble: The only few times we've got PU/PD to work, is when we have put her down (after many PU/PDs) on her side, immediately patting/stroking on her back. But the sleep has been remarkably worse all those times, and she has woken up after 5-20 minutes. We do keep patting/stroking for 10 minutes after she has fallen asleep. If we put her on her back and she doesn't scream when we're patting her back, it's often the same case as when starting a nap: she's just playing with her feet, showing no interest of sleep at all!
She often calms after 0.5-2 minutes when picking her up. But the second we put her down, she starts screaming like crazy. Doing this over an hour (not constantly screaming, but it might be for 30-40 minutes in a stretch), 1-2 times a day, doesn't feel like something we will be able to stick with for much longer. It's just too exhausting.
The times we have been PU/PD-ing until all the way until next E time, she goes from crazy screaming to as happy as she can be in an instant when pulling the curtains and lighting up the room ...

Improvements: We have seen some improvements though. Before this, getting her to nap in her own crib was almost impossible. It happened a few times after she got vaccines only. Now she at least go to sleep (sometimes after a long fight), with either just our voices or voices and patting on her back. This happened on day 1/2, though, and since then it seems to have stalled.

After reading on a similar case like ours, yesterday and today, we started to count the A time from the time she woke up. And then put her to bed for naps earlier, differing from the schedule. We've had no success with that, it was just an even longer PU/PD session.
Today, she also woke up at 6.00 and didn't get back to sleep after that. Putting her down for her 9.00 nap was the same as the other days, thus having an extended A time didn't do any difference. The same with the 1.00 nap, that we also tried to start earlier.



Despite both parents being home, splitting the four go-to-bed-sessions evenly, we're both at the edge of what we can handle now and in desperate need of some expert help.
What is it that we might be doing wrong during the day?
What can we do to ease the PU/PD-part for us? Or is it normal that we might have to do it for an hour, 2-3 times a day at worst?
And about stroller, is that something we should avoid 100 % now when introducing EASY? With the weather being better here, it's often nice to take a 45-90 minute walk and she get her sleep. But since reading it counts as a prop, we have avoided it completely.

Offline Chris15

  • New & Learning The Ropes!
  • *
  • Showing Appreciation 0
  • Posts: 2
  • Location:
Re: Big trouble with naps - 6 months old - introducing EASY
« Reply #1 on: March 11, 2019, 17:45:25 pm »
It's been 1.5 week more now and we still really can't see any progress.

We have tried to extend her A time. Put her to her next nap earlier if last nap was short as written in the Q&A (which is, like, almost always the case). Let her do more stimulating playing. Not following the clock but more her cues. Nothing that really helps, though.

We introduced solids about a week ago, last tuesday. Doing the BLW with 3 days of carrots and 3 days with sweet potatoes - breakfast and sometimes also lunch. Not sure if it's the solids, but nights have been slightly worse the last days - she has woken up more.

About four times in 2.5 weeks she has been napping for 1.5 hour or longer. Two of those were in the stroller.

She still hasn't soothed herself a single time after waking up during a nap. She's capable of doing this during the night.

Sometimes we take one of the naps in the stroller. Not everyday, perhaps every other. It's either that or giving up, which we're now closing in on doing anyways.


Are we doing something seriously wrong or can it simply be that this just isn't for everyone? It has become extremely exhausting for us. And it starts to get really hard to justify continuing, when we don't really see any progress.

Offline ZanesOTmom

  • New, But Posting Steadily!
  • **
  • Showing Appreciation 2
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 94
  • Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Re: Big trouble with naps - 6 months old - introducing EASY
« Reply #2 on: March 11, 2019, 21:45:09 pm »
Hi there. Iím not an expert by any means but just based on my experience and sample routines - https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=164253.0 your EASY is on the low A side. My DS2 is currently 3.5mo and heís needing around 2h (likely more than 2hr) A time, which is the EASY you Posted.

More later

Offline ZanesOTmom

  • New, But Posting Steadily!
  • **
  • Showing Appreciation 2
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 94
  • Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Re: Big trouble with naps - 6 months old - introducing EASY
« Reply #3 on: March 11, 2019, 23:04:29 pm »
Ok. Now that the LOs are asleep....

with my DS1, he was at 3h30h A time give or take. Looking back, he was probably UT in most of his naps. He seemed to be LSN and once I accepted that and kept extending A time, thatís when naps improved. Of course, it canít be done all at once. I believe I was advised increasing 15mins every 3 days to minimize OT. And if Iím not mistaken, itís around 4-6mos where cues are deceiving. Sleepy cues could be bored cues. So I was told to rely on time. Thanks to everyone here (I read and re-read previous posts) DS1 was a sleep (nap) trooper at 9mos. He starated STTN consistently at 7.5mos. So all and all, it took me about 2-3mos if gentle sleep training following BW method. Oh and I should say, no amount of W2S helped DS1 until I got the A times right.
Now, with my DS2 (hes 3.5mos now), youíd think itíd be a breeze. I started BW around 1mo. 45mins wasnít enough so I kept bumping up and he finally slept 2-3hrs 1-2 times a day for a week at 1h30 and 1h45m For first 2 A times. Weíre now at 2h A and he seems to need more cos we havenít had long naps for the past month.
Parenting is hard isnít it? Just when you thought youíre getting the hang of things and starting to figure things out, it all goes to s***. 🤦🏻‍♀️

I hope it gets better for you. Just know all of us are in this rollercoaster ride together. **hugs