Author Topic: Help with BF and EASY  (Read 828 times)

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Offline JennVanessa1083

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Help with BF and EASY
« on: March 20, 2019, 15:44:29 pm »
Preterm (36weeksat 3 lbs 4oz) now is 9 weeks old. She spent 2 weeks I. The NICU and was put on a 3 hour feeding schedule. For the most part that is what she does. She tends to take one breast at a tine and will usually go for 3 hours without hunger sometimes 2.5.

She seems to be going through a developmental leap (Wonder Weeks Week 1) and wants to nurse more. She is waking up early from her naps and wonít resettle crying what sounds like hunger cries.

Is it ok that she feeds sometimes every 2 hours? Iím wondering from her recent growth (7lbs and grew some inches in the last two weeks) if maybe sheís ready for both breasts at each feed? How do I know with a bottle if we should give her more? She does 70ml when we give a bottle which is only once or twice a night. Iím weary of feeding too much because she struggled with reflux for weeks and I had an oversupply with a forceful letdown which caused lots of gas and spit up issues.

Iím trying to do EASY but she sometimes still eats and falls straight to sleep, napping for awhile or will snooze thwn wake up to finish. Sometimes she can last up to an A time of an hour without getting overtired.

Should I be a little more strict about A times? Itís hard because she was preterm and small so Iím having a hard time navigating whether to handle this as if sheís a 9 week old or handle this as if she were 5 weeks (adjusted age)

Any tips or thoughts would be amazing!
Jennifer xx

Offline Katet

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Re: Help with BF and EASY
« Reply #1 on: March 21, 2019, 06:56:33 am »
Some of the advice in BW books is outdated and research has shown itís not best practice. In the first few months itís better to BF on demand rather than by time. If she is upset and settles with a feed, donít secon guess if itís ok to feed, just feed. Sheís still tiny and even at 3 mo my full term 4kg baby struggled to go 3 hours then suddenly at close to 4mo he fed more like 4 hours... heís an  almost 6ft  skinny teenager now so the chubby (allegedly) overfed baby that he was hasnít made him a chubby teen.

In my opinion never hold back on food, worry less about their age etc and more about listening to them and what they are telling you they need. Iím thinking given he birth age and the fact they often catch up at around a week per month, sheís possibly going through the 6 week growth spurt having been through the 3/4 week one so will want more feeding if thatís the case.
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Offline JennVanessa1083

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Re: Help with BF and EASY
« Reply #2 on: March 21, 2019, 13:40:42 pm »
Thank you for this! Do you think I should start waking her at the same tine everyday bolster when her last waking was? I want to try to establish some predictability within reason of course for when my husband goes back to work. Iíll have a school drop off for my 3.5 year old so Iím thinking about how that will all play out.

Also Iím thinking of starting a form of shh/pat. Is there a modified way to do it? The shushing and patting doesnít seem to calm her.
Jennifer xx

Offline Katet

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Re: Help with BF and EASY
« Reply #3 on: March 22, 2019, 05:06:59 am »
I think it's a good idea to start putting in place the rituals that help teach a routine. So while not necessarily waking at exactly the same time, having a rituals that can indicate a pattern.
If she's like my youngest who would sleep in the car and mostly transfer. I would feed, change and we'd leave to take DS1 to an activity. Then I'd transfer DS2 to a stroller to have his nap  If I wasn't taking DS1 somewhere wed often go shopping or to the park just because it became our morning routine to follow that pattern but I could wake him at a time to suit the day, although over time he started waking around the same time anyway.

I didn't do sh/Pat (shshing did my head in) I found just stroking their heads helped. If they didn't settle lying down I'd walk around the house with them on my shoulder patting their bottom. I think sometimes it's more trial and error than an exact science.
« Last Edit: March 22, 2019, 05:10:22 am by Katet »
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Offline JennVanessa1083

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Re: Help with BF and EASY
« Reply #4 on: March 22, 2019, 15:25:25 pm »
Ok I can definitely work on morning routines.

One last question: Iím confused about bedtime. Should I be aiming for a 12 hour day? What does that look like for a baby who only does about 45-1hr of A time? Is she at an age of needing a balance of day/night sleep?

Her naps have been broken in the last few days so itís hard to post an EASY. She usually naps 1.5-2.5 hours (I wake her to not go over 3hours in eating). This week she has been doing 45 minute naps then will sometimes go back to sleep with AP for the rest. However, there are times like today where she wonít. At night sheís stretching out to 3/4hours before waking for a feed.

I know development has something to do with it bc sheís now starting to coo and smile.
Jennifer xx

Offline Katet

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Re: Help with BF and EASY
« Reply #5 on: March 22, 2019, 20:28:43 pm »
I think it's more the day night ratio that works for you. Some people do 12/12. My boys tended to do 13 day/11 night as that worked for family time/work daycare hours.
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Offline JennVanessa1083

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Re: Help with BF and EASY
« Reply #6 on: March 22, 2019, 20:49:23 pm »
Ok 12/12 sounds good to me. Would I instill a catnap to preserve a ďbedtime?Ē

Jennifer xx

Offline JennVanessa1083

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Re: Help with BF and EASY (short naps!)
« Reply #7 on: March 25, 2019, 23:14:48 pm »
So the last few days DD has been waking after only 30-45 minutes. Sometimes she will drift back asleep then there are times we resettle with AP but sometimes she doesnít go back down.

What does this mean for a 10week old (6weeks adjusted)?

Her first A time is about 30 minutes and then she naps for about 2 hours. After that she ranges from 30-1hr. But last few days itís been a roll of the dice. She will fight sleep then go down at 1.25-1.5 but wakes up short napping. I have been trying to go by sleepy cues but maybe Iím missing the window? Maybe I should stick to an A of 45 minutes to see?

« Last Edit: March 25, 2019, 23:16:23 pm by JennVanessa1083 »
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Offline *Ali*

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Re: Help with BF and EASY
« Reply #8 on: March 26, 2019, 11:00:51 am »
A time for a 10wo is probably over an hour so I'd try putting her down a bit later.  She's probably not ready for sleep at 1hr and is then fighting it and getting overtired by 1.5hrs.

Does she get out and about during the day.  That can help too.
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Offline JennVanessa1083

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Re: Help with BF and EASY
« Reply #9 on: March 26, 2019, 12:52:23 pm »
Sometimes but itís cold here and we have been battling colds.

Also I have read that I go by adjusted age when figuring out A times. Is over an hour still appropriate for an adjusted age of 6 weeks?

Today she went to sleep at A45 for her first nap and only slept for 57 minutes. Does that mean UT?

« Last Edit: March 26, 2019, 15:02:09 pm by JennVanessa1083 »
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Offline *Ali*

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Re: Help with BF and EASY
« Reply #10 on: March 27, 2019, 00:48:38 am »
Probably yes
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Offline Katet

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Re: Help with BF and EASY
« Reply #11 on: March 27, 2019, 05:59:15 am »
Adjusting for Catching up about a week a month. I'd probably look at trying around what an 8wo would do. So looking at about 1h 10min to 1 hour 15.
Although it's never going to be an exact science and some A times might be more like 55mins and others 1h 25. It's really about getting through the early months and learning from them for further months and years rather than a precise routine.
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Offline JennVanessa1083

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Re: Help with BF and EASY
« Reply #12 on: March 27, 2019, 13:04:02 pm »
Ok thank you! I feel like Iím not able to read sleep cues. When she yawns I try to get her to sleep but then she takes forever to fall asleep.

She has a cold and seems to be going through a growth spurt. She just wants to nurse constantly even to sleep. Yesterday she snoozed and nursed all day but had longer stretches at night. She will usually accept a paci but not since yesterday unless itís my DH. Should I just roll with it and work fixing it when sheís feeling better? I donít want to create more work for when I start sleep training.
« Last Edit: March 27, 2019, 13:06:33 pm by JennVanessa1083 »
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Offline Katet

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Re: Help with BF and EASY
« Reply #13 on: March 28, 2019, 00:03:16 am »
It may be that she is yawning because she is bored with what is happening rather than tired, or the long time to fall asleep may be her normal, some babies do need long wind downs.

Given she's sick & going through a growth spurt, I'd roll with it... honestly parenting needs to be a lot of meeting in the middle of what we ideally would like & what our children are like and their needs.
As a "type A person" prior to children, the best thing that happened was when I worked out how to discard that persona and be a much more flexible person & it's paid off big time with having teenagers now.
I donít want to create more work for when I start sleep training.
I think the place you are at could be from having the 21st Century style of "checklist"  parenting, the problem is babies are "on a journey" kind of creatures.  I think "sleep training" is what occurs when there is a really big habit that needs to be broken in a 9mo baby (eg feeding to sleep) but the reality is with younger babies, it's a pattern of slow changes that has its ups & downs. Some babies (Angel/Textbook) fall into the pattern faster than others, but they all get there.... it's like babies learning to walk, talk & then children learning to read etc...  My DS1 was a shocking sleeper (even had sleep consultants) was a short napper until about 8mo & didn't sleep through the night until 4yo... yet we never ever had bedtime refusal. Also some children are walking at 8mo, others like my DH dont' walk until nearly 2yo, yet my DH was a State Distance runner... so mastering that skill late didn't hurt him.  My point is that sometimes the longer it takes a child to get there may be a positive in terms of what we learn along the way rather than a negative because we aren't ticking that box off.

I personally think that not being able to read sleep cues in babies under 3mo is normal, because it's the time when "biologically" speaking mothers carried them around & they slept when they needed to, it's a westernised pattern that we want babies to sleep to a routine & because of that we get frustrated because  "angel" babies can do it why can't all.. when the reality is the most of them are "normal" the angel ones are just easier.
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Offline JennVanessa1083

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Re: Help with BF and EASY
« Reply #14 on: March 29, 2019, 19:27:08 pm »
Thank you! This is encouraging. With my son it was really hard to break certain habits so I guess Iím a bit hyper vigilant this time around. Of course he was much older and a bit spirited. She seems to be a textbook/angel baby so Iím sure it will be different in many ways.

So Iíll keep doing my best to encourage longer naps. She seems overtired when she passes the 1.25 mark so Iím aiming for an A time of 1 hour to start with just to give me a base since I may be misreading cues. Sheís starting to stretch nights so thatís great. Her naps are still unpredictable this week. She only napped 20 minutes on her first nap after a 1.5 A which definitely indicates OT to me then was up for nearly 2 hours with DH while I was out and just woke up after 45 minutes. Should I aim to put her down earlier if he canít resettle her?
« Last Edit: March 31, 2019, 15:40:45 pm by JennVanessa1083 »
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Offline JennVanessa1083

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Re: Help with BF and EASY
« Reply #15 on: April 02, 2019, 16:34:41 pm »
Hi Iím experiencing a sick overtired baby...can anyone help?

Her naps have dwindled to 20-45 minutes. Sheís 11 weeks but born a month preterm so have no idea how to deal with this. A times have ranged from 45-1:25 ( which by then is overtired). Sheís fighting sleep and cranky. Iím desperate bc I have a 3 year old that also needs my attention.

I was thinking of starting night training with shh pat but it feels like I might not be able to bc sheís still very congested despite our best efforts to help her. Itís just starting to get warmer here and my son keeps bringing home new colds from school.

Help!!
Jennifer xx

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Re: Help with BF and EASY
« Reply #16 on: April 04, 2019, 21:57:56 pm »
Does she sleep in the car, sling or buggy so you can get out with your son?
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Offline Katet

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Re: Help with BF and EASY
« Reply #17 on: April 04, 2019, 23:09:12 pm »
When they are sick the best thing you can do is APOP. Honestly even when well and under a year old   the benefits from cuddling to sleep or wearing in a sling for sleeping can outweigh the benefits of a 'good routine' especially when they are sick. In babies when they are sick often the best 'medicine' can be skin to skin contact
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Offline JennVanessa1083

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Re: Help with BF and EASY
« Reply #18 on: April 08, 2019, 13:12:26 pm »
Hi! Thank you! Sheís getting over her cold and now going through a developmental leap haha!

Usually she takes two of her naps in the stroller on days when my son has preschool. She also sleeps great in the wrap. Bassinet is a toss up but Iím trying not to stress too much about it. Still trying to figure her out in terms of wake times and sleep cues.

Sheís only 12 weeks and still does A times of about 1-1.25 hours; anything over and she cries.

Iím actually dealing with a breast infection (abscess) so Iím not even thinking about IS right now. Trying to take care of myself first.
Jennifer xx