Help with 11mo PM nap refusal

[KKmom]

Hi! I’m back for help with my second son, who has been giving me such a hard time on sleep (basically since birth!). At 10mo he finally started sleeping through the night. He’s now 11mo and the last 3 days he’s refused his PM nap, in spite of hours of trying on my part. In reading through the boards, it sounds like it’s best to try to get closer to 18mo before making the 2-1 transition, and he just turned 11mo. I’ve read that they need a solid 2hr nap in a day, but also that it’s recommended to shorten the first nap in order for them to be tired enough for their second nap. I’m not sure what to do and I’m nervous to cut the morning nap short because it’s always reliable and usually 2hrs long. His PM naps have always been worse and usually only 40min. How much daytime sleep or total sleep is recommended for 11mo?

These last 3 days of trying to get him to nap have been terrible. He’s good for about 30min, plays for a bit, lays down, tries for a while to go to sleep, can’t fall to sleep, then starts standing up and complaining/fussing. 2 days ago I did a variety of different things to try to get him to sleep, picked him up/ tried to BF again/etc and nothing worked. Yesterday he pooped after 45min so I changed him and put him back in his crib, which he was quite upset about. He cried and refused to lay down, so I ended up doing PD with him for close to an hour, which was awful but I stuck with it. Eventually he laid down calmly and tried to go to sleep. He couldn’t fall asleep but he tried and it was dinner time so I finally got him up (I have no idea how he couldn’t fall to sleep after being so exhausted, crying so much, and pulling himself to standing 100x!?). Today was a similar pattern. He played and tried to sleep for about 30min then stood up and starting complaining. Luckily he didn’t do all the standing up so I just had to lay him down a couple times. He laid down for a while, tried to sleep but couldn’t. I stayed in the room because if I left he would immediately stand up and start crying. I’m not sure what to do with him at this stage- stay with him or WI/WO? Continue PD? Do I WO even if he’s really crying hard? What if he’s really crying a lot? He gets so mad if I pick him up and then put him back down- much more worked up than if he’s just fussing in his crib and I’m standing there. But either way I cant leave or he starts freaking out. He is usually an independent sleeper, needs no help, no props and doesn’t use a pacifier.

For the last 3 days of skipped PM nap, he is clearly OT and a bit delirious in the eve, but he actually handles himself well and doesn’t melt down or cry a lot. He falls asleep right away (around 7:50 instead of 8:30, so makes up for his 40min lost nap), is still sleeping through the night and no EW, so could be actually be ready for 2-1 transition this early?? Seems like not but I’m not sure. In which case am I better off focusing on shifting AM nap later in the day so he’s less OT at the end of the day (vs reclaiming PM nap)?

Here is his EASY on a good day. Appreciate any advice on the best way to handle this!

7:30-wake & BF
9-breakfast
10:30-BF before nap
10:45-12:45- AM nap
1:30-lunch
3:45-BF before nap
4:30-5:10-PM nap
6:15- dinner
8:20-BF before bed
8:45- sleep

Thanks! Kristin

[Katet]

Sounds like he could be ready to transition. Does he ever fall asleep in the car, that was the test for me, when they would not fall asleep in the car or stroller in the afternoon.
I wonder if you got his  first nap starting at 11 or even 11.15, he may do say a 2.5 hour nap and with an earlier bedtime he might go to 1 nap.
That said he may go back to 2 naps in a few days as sometimes they just have blips

[KKmom]

Hi Katet, appreciate your quick reply! No he only sleeps in his crib so I dont know if he would fall asleep in the car. It’s not feasible for me to try that because I also have my older son. Are there any other readiness clues? 11mo just seems so young to me to make the switch and I don’t want to get into an OT spiral.

Should I keep trying for the 2nd nap for now or give it up? How do you know if it’s a blip or permanent? I was thinking of extending his 2nd A to more like 4 hours (since he’s not sleeping anyway) and see if that helps. I could also start shortening his morning nap but I am nervous to do that. If he doesn’t take a 2nd nap then that’s a really EBT. What do you think is the best strategy for the next few days? How much time should I invest in trying to get that PM nap-45min?1hr? Today he woke at 7 and fell asleep for his first nap at 10:45. I’m going to wake him at 12:45 and see if I can get the 2nd nap in at 3hr30min-4hr A time. Maybe shorten first nap to 1hr45 tomorrow if that doesn’t work, even though I’m hesitant to do that. For everything I’ve read on the 2-1 transition board, it seems best to keep trying to hang on to 2 naps. He is still STTN, no EW and is in generally good spirits though so I don’t really know what’s best for him.  Appreciate any guidance, thanks!

[KKmom]

Good news! My little guy has taken his afternoon nap the last 4 days in a row, so I think our PM nap strike is over for now. I capped his AM nap at exactly 2hrs and extended his A time to 3hr30 between naps (up from 3hrs), so it seems that strategy worked. I also noticed today that he’s popped his 5th tooth, so that may have been contributing too. Looks like we’ve saved the 2nd nap for the time being. Thanks for your help and I may be back again!
Kristin

[Mum2lucy]

I see you got your nap back but just to say my LG was on 1 nap at 11 months xx