Author Topic: How to do shh-pat for a 5 week old with corona, home office and a toddler  (Read 507 times)

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Offline DoritK

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Hi everyone,
I am a big fan oft the structured routine BW can bring. It was a succes with our now 2 years and 3 months old toddler, however we hardly ever managed to put him to sleep using shh-pat (believe me we tried). We didn't manage to remove AP (using a stroller) for falling asleep for naps and BF in the night. At some point we got there but he was well past 1 year old before he fell asleep on his own.
Now, we have a 5 weeks old baby who is also being breastfed. I try to get him on a 3 hour routine but he prefers to eat every 2 hours or every 2,5 hours. So far I have used babywearing for naps most of the time, simply because it's handy when you want to go to the playground with the toddler and he is not great with walking for a long time on his own. And because the wrap worked so well I also used it for other naps or he just falls asleep in our arms.
So, the situation is this: My boyfriend has to work from home because of corona and we only have a small apartment. We have a toddler who is making a lot of noise, walking in and out of the room, asking questions and doing things he shouldn't do. So, I have to keep an eye on the toddler so he doesn't disturb my boyfriend while working (video calls ec.) which means I have to go after him while trying to put the baby to sleep.
I have tried to get the baby to sleep using shh-pat a couple of times but it is really hard in this situation. He only fell asleep once using shh-pat and woke up again after 10 minutes. The other times I was disturbed by the toddler or I had to give up after more than an hour because the baby was so overtired by then and hungry.
In comparison it's so easy to use babywearing to get him to sleep (but not a long term solution of course). I try to put him into bed after he falls asleep (apart from when I'm out).
But it's really hard to introduce shh-pat for sleeping and I'm doubting if I'm too early because he is only 5 weeks old or because if it's the situation that makes it even more difficult? Sometimes I feel like giving up and using accidental parenting / babywearing because I might otherwise go nuts.
Any recommendations how to keep motivated? I know shh-pat is a long time investment which would pay off eventually but I just don't know how to get it done in this particular situation.
My toddler is at the crťche once or twice a week so I could try to focus on these days...
Hope someone will have some advice for me!
Dorit

Offline Katet

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Honestly golden rule isn't what you should do, but to do what works best.  There is nothing wrong with a baby sleeping in a sling if it's working for your life.
As you'd know having a toddler, so much changes in the weeks and months.
Given the current situation I'd focus on bedtime and one nap if it work...I know with a 2yo and a 3mo I found keeping the 2yo occupied, meant I really only got one nap at home in peace, and by about a year old, they still have bedtime and one nap.
So bottom line I think is get  a pre nap ritual in place (read a story to both children and w ere you can settle in bed, if not do what works, Having a ritual that says when I put you in the sling or stroller or bed it's sleep time will be just as beneficial long term as will using sh Pat
dc1 July 03, dc2 May 05

Offline DoritK

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Thanks for the reassurement. Maybe I make it a bit too hard for myself (and therefore for us all).
I will apply your suggestion for a nap time ritual. Usually I sing a few bedtime songs so I think that could ba a good start.
It's good to hear you say that using a wrap isn't such a bad idea. I hope nap times will be getting easier in the long run...
I was also thinking I might do the shh pat while the baby is in the wrap so that we build a positive association with falling asleep?
Do you think that would help for falling asleep with shh pat eventually or would I just add another prop for him to get depended on?

Offline DoritK

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Our little one is 9,5 weeks now. I try to keep up a 3,5 hour routine during the day but itís starting to get a bit messy. He easily falls asleep after an awake time of about 1h 30 min in the wrap and i can put him into the stroller relatively quickly. But if I put him down on his back he wakes up after 45 minutes and usually canít resettle. If I put him on his tummy he sleeps 2-3 hours (if I donít wake him up earlier). I donít have the baby whisperer book at hand atm but I think I remember that a baby shouldnít sleep longer stretches than 2 hours during the day because it affects night sleep???
He does indeed not sleep well at night and now I have our toddler in the room too because we are staying at my parents for the summer. I donít want the baby to wake up the whole house and especially the toddler!! Therefore i feed the baby when he starts making noises in his crib but Iím not sure if that is smart. He ends up feeding every 1,5-3 hours that way.  If I wait it out he usually starts making lots of noise but doesnít necessarily cry. He grunts and moans. I think he also has a lot of gas in his belly which is uncomfortable.
Could it be that napping on his tummy during the day is so much nicer which is the reason he doesnít sleep well on his back at night? Any wise words are appreciated.
My toddler is also getting more difficult to get to bed at the moment because of the new situation...