9 Week Old Short Naps or Refusing to Fall Asleep!

[regina1987m]

Hello BW Moms,

I need your help I am feeling really discouraged. We have been desling with short naps ever since he started being more awake, at 4-5 weeks. It’s not all the time, though. Some naps are longer than others. Other days he naps perfectly and that gives me hope that he can connect cyles and nap for good 1.5-2hr stretches in the day so I try to recreate the same thing I did the day before and it doesnt work.
I have to say he sleeps very well at night, its been a week since he weaned of his night feedings by himself, with erratic wakings through the night but sometimes falls asleep on his own.
He also has an incredibly exhausting fussy 20 minutes right after bath before bedtime, when he cries unconsollably and refuses his bedtime bottle. (Please help with this too!) After that, he takes 6-7oz of expressed breastmilk and goes down until 2-3am, I just give him the pacifier one time and he falls asleep till 6-7, again offer him pacifier and change positions and he goes down until 8:30am when usually I have to wake him up to start the day.

I also have to say that for 10 naps, 4 would go great and 6 would go awry. I put him down at 1:15 min one day and sleeps like a baby for 2 hours, and the next day the same thing and he wont sleep for more than 20 min or refuses to settle.
So my day goes like this:

8:30 - feeds 6-7oz of EBM
9:00 - 9:45 Activity (usually gym and swing until I see first yawn. If he doesnt show sleepy cues, I put him down 1:15-1:20 from waking)
9:50 put him down, always cries or fusses, needs pacifier or shh/pat. Almost every time, he wakes up 30-45 min into his nap. Sometimes, he just doesnt fall asleep or when the paci falls, he wakes up and I have to go in and put it back on, this can happen the whole nap, 17 times. He sleeps for 15-20 min at a time but I dont pick him up till next feed. If he managed to fall asleep, I let him sleep for 10-15 min past his feeding time.

11:30 feeds 6-7oz of EBM
12:00 activity, same as above
12:45 - 12:50 sleep, same as above

2:45 feeds 6-7oz of EBM
Same as above

5:45 feeds 5oz of EBM
6:45 or 6:50 catnap for 30-45 min max

8:00 bath
8:15 feeds 7oz of EBM (sometimes it takes longer for him to accept the bottle, 20-30min of crying on and off)
9:00 takes me longer to feed him at this time, almost always falls asleep before putting him down.

Please please help!

[Katet]

I rarely get on BW now, but saw your message

Honestly, I think you are doing amazingly well and your baby is never going to have perfect naps etc...
A witching period of crying up to 3-4 hours is normal, so 20mins is fantastic. Long naps are the textbook ideal, most parents rarely get textbook sleep all the time.

The biggest advice I can give is
to focus less on the clock and book routines and more on the information your baby is giving. If he doesn't sleep in his bed, try taking him out in a stroller or just having a cuddle together (you'll never get those moments again)

Despite the 'babies, just sleep eat, poop... The reality is some babies need more physical contact than others and won't sleep if they haven't their emotional needs met. I feel the fact you don't pick him up when he won't sleep is actually causing more of a problem than its solving. I also think the fact you find 20mins of crying at night extremely stressful might indicate you are a type A personality and need it to happen a specific way to cope... As a btdt on both accounts, learning how to accept the perfect routine isn't going to happen and babies do have unsettled periods is normal and rather than the goal being for it to end, look at a goal of how you can make it easier, eg have the bath in the morning, make one nap a shared nap together, or a nap in the stroller going for a walk.