Author Topic: Everything went wrong, I am lacking every department  (Read 109 times)

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Offline Suejhe

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Everything went wrong, I am lacking every department
« on: November 18, 2020, 18:06:03 pm »
Hello BW Forum. First I want to say I recently found this forum and it is absolutely a treasure. I am not sure is there anyone can help, but I am really desperate. I read the book when I was pregnant but couldnít have a chance to apply before and recently I reread it and tried to fix my problems now. But I have tons of questions.

Full story is below. but long story short I try to 4 h easy on my 4.5 mo dd for 5 days now I t seems it works for nap times somehow but for nights it is still very chaotic. I need lots of help in every manner and my questions:

1. In day 5 she is still wakes in every 1-2 hours at night. Why is she waking frequently at night? Can be long term overtiredness or something else?

2. Every night she has 1.5 2 hour awake time I do pupd but I think it makes the situation worse and even wakes her more. Why she has a awake time at night? it seems  she adjusts her wake up times with this awake period because she wakes up exactly 12 hours later from bed time. If it is because of OT should I make her sleep whatever it takes like nurse or rock etc. ?

3. When I try to put her sleep she immediately tries to sleep by turning head (so adorable). Cry less. On day 5 it takes 5-15 min for me. Even one day it took only 1 min. But when her father tries she screams a lot and never gets chill. Why it can be? Because I need his help but when he tries things become so frustrating with tons of cry. I am exhausted due to night wakings and he canít help. I only slept 2 hours a night in the last week. It breaks my strength and I easily get upset to her. But I try to act calmly of course. After her father picks her it gets hard for me to calm her too.

4. I do pupd less time now but sometimes she gets really fussy. If I put her immediately she stops crying she became hysterical. If I wait for her to calm completely then when I put her bed she tries to sleep otherwise scream. She lost her voice little bit so I donít want her to cry more. Is it ok to do this way or I do accidental parenting?

5. She wants to feed more then 2 times at night I think. But how I can increase the amount of milk she gets without formula feeding without snacking? Her doctors suggested to start solid early but can it solve this problems because the book says no? If she takes approximately 200 ml in 10 min with both breast is it snacking?

6. The book suggests no eye contact but if I donít do it she gets fussy and sleeps while looking at me. I mimic to sleep to her after some time she closes her eyes very slowly while looking at me. What can I do?

7. I do pupd to lengthen naps it works for second but she sleeps only 30 min in first nap. When I do pupd she cry until the feeding time. I believe I should not force her to sleep should I? Also after waking from catnap she wants to sleep within a hour but before Easy she had at least 2 hours is it normal?

8. After I started to easy her awake times get weird. She stays 2.5 hours in the morning, then approximately 2 hours before 2. Nap 1.5-2 h before catnap and like 1 h before bed time? Shouldnít it be reverse?

9. Last question what if I try to fix naps first then focus on night time? Because together it makes her very tired and sleepy and makes me exhausted too. Will it affect whole situation badly?

So in day 5 our routine look like this

7         wake and feed
9.30    30 min nap
11       feed
12.      2h nap
14.30. Feed
16.30. 30 min nap
18.40. Bt
22.30  df
01       nf
04      nf

It is going to be long story but I have to start from the beginning.

I have DD 4.5 mo very active half spirited half angel baby ( weird I know). She was born via c section in 37+6. She was very susceptible to jaundice since we have a blood compatibility. She slept all in first 2 weeks it was hard to wake her up for feeds but with the paediatrician recommendation I breastfed her in 2 hours interval in day time 3 hours in night time. It worked she didnít cough up with the jaundice. In third week, she started to cry in the evenings like a colicky baby so until bath time we rock her and after that she slept long stretches in night in 3 week (5 hours). Long stretches lengthen till 8 hours in 2 mo. Until 3,5 mo she was sleeping at least 6 hours in first sleep, after that she NF 1-2 times until morning. But everting has changed.

In the eating department things weird too. I believe she is a efficient eater from the start. She never feed too long max 30 min in first week. But in third week she was breastfeeding one side only and 10 min on left 20 min right boob. It diminished 5 min left 10 min right. But right now it seems even on both sides 7 min.. In third week I turned to 3 hour intervals but one day it become 1-2 hour interval and since then she breast feed sometimes 3 hour sometimes 1 sometimes 2, so no routine here too. I have a forceful letdown I believe it is resolving now little bit, I am still leaking the other breast while feeding. So she had a little reflux too due to my letdown so I let her feed whenever she wants. But it has passsed now. I am not sure if I have a poor supply. When I have yield test, in 5 min I pump at least 90-100 ml both sides each. She was gaining weight (1 kg in a month first 3 months  )on good amount and I see lots of poop and pee in a day 6-7 times in a day. Last month she didnít get much weight only 600 gr. but this month she is on a good way she get 400 gr in 2 weeks.

We went to holiday when she was 3.5 mo and had to cosleep. in the last2 day on 1week holiday she wake up before 6 hours and started to resist bedtime. It was her 4 wonder week start day so I thought it is because of that and eventually everts will be back soon. But it did not. When we return home she started to wake in 3 hours interval at night then in 17 week she wake up every hour till morning. And I fed her to sleep because when I pick her up she suck my faces. Weird kiddo again. She was sleeping erratic pattern since then one night she wakes up every 1-2 hour one night 3-4 hour stretch and wake up every hour then.

Normally we rock her to sleep but when she start to resist bed time and breast feed I started to feed her on bed laying and she got used to sleep in this way. Normally she used to refuse breast if she wants to sleep and one day she wanted to nurse to sleep. So I changed immediately and start to rock her to sleep again.

She was taking 4 naps in a day and nap length gradually drop to 30 or even less min Before Easy. When 1 h 50 min ( I think it was her optimal wake time) passed I was bouncing on Pilates ball and she sleep in 10 min or less most of time. When we hold her she never wants to stay looking inward she always stay looking out since 1.5 mo. And she wants to sleep that way too. So in a Pilates ball while carrying outward looking 7 kg baby my back started to hurt. Also she was resisting her sleep times and screams in 2-3 min at least each try. I also try to lengthen her naps by re rocking her again, it sometimes worked sometimes didnít. But she wake up crying and sleepy all day long. I drop one nap and she slept little longer in second sleep for 2 days but it was not enough for me.

So this is the way I decided to start easy. As BW suggests I go with 4 hour plan. Today it is day 5 but I think I am doing wrong.

First day she wake up 6.40 am and I breast feed her at 6.50 and everything begins. In first try, after 2 hour awake time it took me 2 hour pupd to her sleep only for 17 min. In second nap it took 1.5 hours for 25 min. In third nap 45 min for 45 min catnap. She wake up at 6.10 pm form the catnap and want to sleep half hour later, after I breastfeed I put her on bed and she started to sleep immediately and wake up 2.5 hours later do 3-4 pupd and resettle. After 3 hours she wake up at 00.10 am so I breastfeed her. She wake up at 2.20 am again and do 2 hours pupd she was rooting so I breastfeed at 4.30 am after she slept till 7.30 am
so I wake her up for second day. Nurse her then handed to her father after 1 hour awake time he tried to make her sleep in the first nap he did 1hour 20 min pupd between the screams she slept for 25 min. Second nap I did 30 hour pupd for 30 min nap. She didnít resettle after 30 min naps on both time. She catnap at 4.20 pm after 15 min pupd. Want to sleep after half hour awake time and after bath nurse her and after 10 min pupd she slept at 5.50 pm she wake up after an hour I nursed her because it was 7 pm her desired bed time feed. She wake up at 22.00 I did several shiss pat and back to sleep I dream feed at 23 pm. She wake up at 1.30 am. And try to pupd but it didnít worked she started to root at 2.30 am so I nursed her she calmed and put her bed after several try she slept at 3 am and wake up 1.5 hour later did pat pat and eventually she wake up at 5.50 am (12 hour after bedtime)

Third day it take less time each nap time between 5-15 min in the first two nap she slept 1.15 and 1.30 hour cat nap 30 min nursed at 6.00 pm bed time 6.40. Wake several times at night dream fed ad 23 and nf at 4.30 am. Wake up 6.40 in the morning (12 hour bettime) long waking between 00.30 and 2.20 again.

Forth day first nap with father 8 min pupd 30 min sleep, second nap 5 min with me 1.45 hour, cat nap 30 min afternoon, bed time similar with third day but night time was chaos wake every 1-2 hour again. I nursed her several times in 8-9 min each time. By the way in the day time since I tried to nurse in 4 h interval I breastfeed on both sides but she nursed 10-14 min total each time. So with one breast she nursed 8-9 min seems good feed.

Fifth day morning similar with day 4 but cried a lot. Whenever her fathers picks her she cry when I try even without pupd she calms down and turns head to side to sleep. It took me less time each day to put her sleep sometimes I donít do pupd even when I try to put her sleep she immediately tries to sleep if she canít sleep,  fuss a little. sometimes little pat pat solves but sometimes I bend over her in the crib pishpish sometimes put my face to her. But it is very tiring still.

Today I went to paediatrician to check up her if something bothers her. But the doctor said she is perfectly  healthy. And he confirmed short feedings is not a problem. She gets enough milk. Her teeth get their places and she chew everything a lot but no tooth cut trough and it doesnít seem very soon.

She learned to roll over in 3 mo from tummy to back back to tummy in 4 mo. But she never tries to roll over in bed and in the morning I make her practise these skills.

After tons of detail, how I am going to solve my problems?