looking for Jan/Feb 05 moms to chat...

[OrlaB]

Aimee is 4 months today and the thought of weaning her is really odd. She just seems too little! I couldn't wait to get Joe started on solids, and was introducing a spoon from 3 1/2 months, but she somehow seems too fragile to have anything other than formula.

I feel a little embarressed too after reading all these posts about everyone's lo's not sleeping. Both A&J have been sleeping really well today. Tonight could well be a different matter, though :!:

I'm wondering if I'm maybe cramming too much in to her activity time, which is why she's sleeping liked she's drugged.

So glad this forum is here!

[949nikkirn]

Christine, I started that same exact schedule minus the cereal a couple of weeks ago and it seems to work very well for us. DS was born 2-23-05, so I am going to wait awhile longer to start solids. Yes, the naps are rarely long enough, but yesterday was perfect, so we'll see. We have been struggling with the 45 minute naps. Trace eats 6-8 oz for each of the 4 bottles offered. I never had any luck with the dreamfeed so I ditched that early on. He always naps in his bed and has since day one and I think that has saved our lives with him putting himself to sleep. Occasionally he freaks out and I have to PU/PD, but usually I just let him work out what he needs to and he's quiet within 10 minutes. At the beginning I also thought about the blackout shades, but was discouraged because baby might get nights and days mixed up. Not a challenge I want to deal with, thank you.

[two_cuties]

Debra - sorry to hear about your day yesterday. I really hope today is much better. Hopefully this will make you feel a bit better - I'm having a really bad day today so far. We were doing well w/ pu/pd. It was down to 5 min. or less yesterday, but this am it took at least 15 min. Then dd didn't sleep when we took a walk during what should have been her 2nd nap. I got her down when we got home, but it took another 15-20 min. and I took a chance on leaving my older one pretty much unattended. Then she only slept for 30 min. (both naps today). My older dd has been whining almost constantly today and she's tough to get down for naps too, but I did get her down after about 45 min. Ughh! The thing I feel worst about is that I actually lost my temper and yelled in frustration while trying to get the younger one down for her 2nd nap. I try my hardest not to yell at all, but when it happens it's usually the older one that gets it; it feels so much worse to realize I yelled at a 3.5 mo. old. I feel like the worst mom in the world today :cry:.  My poor kids, I'm afraid they're going to need therapy when they get older.

I think I might have to change game plans and give up on pu/pd except for bedtime. I just really can't figure out how to do it w/ the older one around. I was hoping that the last 5 days, when I didn't have to worry about the older one, would be enough to train the younger one. She has definitely improved, but I don't think I can keep this up.

BTW Debra, I grew up in Yaphank, it's about half way out, right in the middle of the Island (not too far from Patchogue if you've heard of that one). In MA, we live in Maynard, about half way between Boston and Worcester.

[Leah's Mom]

it feels so much worse to realize I yelled at a 3.5 mo. old. I feel like the worst mom in the world today :cry:. quote]

Oh my gosh! I did the same thing the other day. In a harsh voice I said this is enough, you need to go to sleep! Then I had to take a quick breath and realize she is only 4 months old and cannot understand anything, but does know the tone of my voice. And she didn't like this tone, it just made her more upset. Don't worry - you're not alone and you're a wonderful mother, otherwise you wouldn't be on this board chatting and figuring out what is best for your children!

[Deb_in_oz]

OMG that's a lot to wake up to - am having a hrd tijme keeping everything straight that is going on - but am VERY happy that you are lal there to chat to and going through similar things.

please don't anyone be embarrassed if you are having a good day or have a good sleeper/eater/whatever.  i look forwrad to the positives because it gives me hope especially since none of these lo are angel/textbooks.

thankfully our bad (understatement) day did not carry into night and she woke and resettled self around 9pm (Dh and i are very encouraged by her inctreasing ability to do this in evening butnoit sure why can't do it for daytime sleeps) had DF at 10:45 and then woke before 5 for feed and back to bed.

Tanya - your day sounds similar with the 2 kids.  i also got angry with Olivia and a little too forceful with my patting  :oops: .  i actaully said "just F@!%$*& go to sleep" while crying.  i think alex picked up on the mood (and heard me crying off and on) because she was so clingy after she wole from her nap.  she was like permanently attached to my leg.

can't remember who asked what and Dh needs me to run him to the train station:

we still swaddle Olivia in spite of her repeated attempts to hget out (she is so strong!!!).  if i get the wrap "just right"; and do it before she is overtired, then the world is great and she stays wrapped and goes down easily without pat/shh.  not sure when we will stop swaddle probably around 4-5 months when she gets good hand control.

PU/PD and any intense pat/shhh is too much for spirited ones ion my opinion.  we keep p/s for last resort if 1) wakes early or 2) is really overtired and won't calm herself down

we are almost totally bottles now and feed 6 times including DF.  Olivia takes between 130-180 ml of formula per feed (4.5 - 6.5 oz) and was waking 1-2 times per night except since we started l;eaving her to settle at 9m she has only woken once (knock on wood).

must dash - will check back later

[HeatherC]

Kelsey's dr. said to offer cereal 2x a day of my choosing.  Today I only got it in once because she throw me a curveball.  I can't tell if her sleepiness today is due to having shots yesterday, but the long morning nap changed our schedule altogether.  Let me show you:
Usuall schedule
8:00 bf
10:45 bf
1:30 bf
4:15 bf
7:00 bf
8:15 bed
10:00 bf
Naps were usually only 30 minutes, with an occasional hour nap in the morning.
Today:
8:00 bf
9:45-11:30 slept till I finally woke her
11:30 bf + cereal (bottom of a small bowl full)
1:45-2:30 slept (woke her)
2:30 bf + 4 oz formula
4:40-5:10 slept (usuall 30 minute nap)
5:30 3 oz formula
7:45 put to bed, but plan on bf one last time at 8:30 then letting her sleep.  I don't see the point in waking her at 10 or 11, because when she only took 3 oz at 5:30 that told me she is full from the day's feedings because usually at that feeding she would take 6 oz.
Like I said, this has really thrown me today and I don't know what I'm doing.  I woke her from those naps because if I didn't feed every 3 hours I wouldn't get enough feedings in.  Also, is it possible for her to sleep too much during the day and not sleep well at night?  I've never had to worry about this.  But again, her sleepiness could be a reaction from shots yesterday.  Any advice on this possible change in her schedule would be greatly appreciated.  I feel out of control and beside myself that I'll do the wrong thing.  I'm so used to her sleeping 11.5 hours with a 10 pm feeding that I'll freak if she wakes all night.  What would I do?  Feed her?

[Leah's Mom]

Heather-
Leah had her shots earlier this week and she slept a lot the day after too. She also didn't eat well, so she did wake up in the night. but only once to feed. I think their little bodies just need the sleep to try and get back to normal after being injected with all kinds of stuff. POor babies! Leah screamed bloody murder when she had hers. It didn't help that she was overtired becuase we had to wait so long for the doctor! Let us know how the night goes. I would probobly feed her if she wakes, but I am definitley no expert. Do what you think she needs, I don't think a feed once in the night will make her wake every night. Good Luck!

[Deb_in_oz]

Heather - i agree - don't worry yourself too much about this one - let her sleep and if she wakes and is hungry feed her and put straight back to bed.  there may be other times over the next year that she wakes in the night for food and just know it is par for the course even after sleeping through the night...sometimes jusdt need reassurance... (clear b/c won't take food offered)

as far as sleeping too much in the day and being up all night - i don't subscribe to that point of view.  i have always been told and seen "sleep begets sleep".  alex always slept 5-6 hours during day and another 11 at night. that was her.  each lo is different and you get to know where the line is (ie if she would sleep 3 hours at a stretch now, you know to wake her because she needs food, but if she normally takes 45 min and is still asleep at 2 hours i say "yippee" she needed the sleep) 

hope your night goes well

[Schae]

Wow! it's getting hard to keep up with everyone!
Hope things went well last night for you all. 

Um, I remember reading a question that asked how much our lo's weighed. Luka weighs 6.4kg (14lbs) and he's 3 months and a bit. But my boy EATS!!  :lol:

Activity time: we watch telly (he really likes Oprah), but only for 5 minutes or so. Or we go for a walk (but winter is coming here, so the walks might end) Or under the gymini. Or I sing for him and do all the actions to the song (this amuses him!  )

I think he may have been going through a growth spurt yesterday and the day before, today he's spacing his meals and yesterday he wasn't. I felt like I was BF-ing the entire day.  :roll:
He slept okay. Went down at 10pm woke at 2am then at 4am then briefly at 6am and then woke for the day at 8am.
This is an 'okay' night for us! Sad hey?

As for being a bad mom coz you yelled at a baby. Don't beat yourself up about it.. we are human after all. And sleep deprivation combined with hormones and the general life issues can drive anyone insane. I've yelled at Luka before too. I feel sooo bad afterwards, but as I said, we're human!

You ladies with two children, I really don't know how you do it! Do you get enough time on your own? I find that if I haven't had at least 20 minutes in the day where I was on my own just sitting or whatever, I get really aggro... so I make sure I take the time.

Anyway, enough rambling! Hope everyone is doing well!!
ps
We dont' have a schedule anymore, so I can't share just yet!

[Deb_in_oz]

Schae - glad you had a "good" night.  after our terrible day yesterday i was terrified of the night but it was fine (although usually when we have a bad day we get a good night and vice versa  :roll: ).    To answer your question about time to myself - i get very little - even getting on the computer is hard if alex is awake as she wants to sit up here with me and look at pictures we've downloaded. Often there is an overlap of about 30 minutes for their naps and i eat, sort out laundry and watch a little Oprah if possible.

today was a pretty good day - she took 3 naps: 2 1/2 hrs, 45 min and 1 1/2 hours including resetlling herself for the last 10-15 min of that last one. could not get her to do catnap so she was overtired for last feed.  will see how night goes (oh great just woke after 45 min  :evil:  and crying - Dh thankfully offered to go to her).

please think of us tomorrow/ Friday as we have to take olivia  on the train to US Embassy to get her citizenship and passport including photos being taken (how to coordinate that when she should be napping  )  also we have to leave alex with my mom and she has been sooooo clingy the past few days it is scary.  mom says she is up for the challenge though.

think i've already mentioned olivia is huge - 7kg (15lbs4oz) at 3 1/2 months.

must go organise the 800 things the gov't need for me to prove olivia's worth to be a US citizen  :roll:  because i haveTHAT kind of spare time on my hands.

[HeatherC]

Well, I fed Kelsey at 8:30 pm, she was asleep by 9:50, and still sleeping at 8:00 am!  Thanks for all the support and reassurance.  I just need to go with the flow and watch her cues to guide me in what she needs.  I have to say that I am now falling extremely in love with my daughter.  It was so hard the first 3 months that I didn't know what I had gotten myself into, but the hard times were so worth it!  I, too, have gotten very upset and yelled like she knew what I was saying.  I would just take a deep breath, and walk out of the room.  Sometimes you need that just to regain composure and remember who you're dealing with.  Now when she's so fussy and I can't get to her immediately, I just talk to her reassuringly and do the best I can.  Before, I was crazy if she cried for even one minute thinking I had to tend to her immediately.  I think babies need some bit of time to realize that they may be upset, but mommy will be there for them even if it's not right away.  Maybe this helps them learn independence. :?:

[Leah's Mom]

It's amazing, I too am falling more in love with my DD everyday. The first few months are really hard, but it is getting easier. Although I believe we have a paci addiction problem on our hands! DD has been crying in her sleep every hour from 2:30 on and the only thing that calms her is the paci.  :shock: Time to wean!

[949nikkirn]

Heather, I am glad you had a good night. I was reading Kelsey's schedule for yesterday and thought it was great. My ds made a huge turn around right after his first set of shots and started sleeping through the night and then I was able to easily trasition him to the 4 hour EASY routine. I totally believe better sleep during the day = better sleep during the night. This was one reason I switched to 4 hour routine because I felt like I was waking him up all the time to feed him every three hours. If I offer him 8 oz every 4 hours then he gets 32 oz in 24 period that is enough and I don't feel like I need to worry about him starving during the night....he's a chunky monkey.  I don't mean to rush you into the 4 hour routine, but maybe she's ready???  Do you girls medicate with Tylenol for your babies shots?
Also, I am not sure if it was from Tracy's book but girls we have to remember BIRDS FLY. BABIES CRY. Period. Sometimes they just need to have a moment or work something out. A good friends doctor asked her "have you ever heard of a baby dying of crying?" It just doesn't happen. A good nap and routine that the baby gets used to usually takes care of all these issues, but sometimes we are not so lucky. I try to remember that if one day sucked then I have tomorrow to try again, Trace really doesn't know the difference. I did notice though that once I got the sleeping through the night and 4 hour easy down then Trace ONLY cries to tell me he's tired. He knows his routine and it works for him. If I stray from it like try to run too many errands then he lets me know by being so touchy and cries at everything then fights a nap or bedtime. Not fun. I am a nap slave.
nikki
Trace 2-23-05

[Leah's Mom]

Nicki-
I am planning on moving to a four hour routine soon. Did you just jump right in or gradually extend the time? How long can your LO stay awake for activity. It says with a four hour routine they should stay awake for two hours? We are having early waking probelms - with other night waking problems as well - so I am wondering if I need to stretch her awake time during the day. Right now she can stay awake 1 1/2 hours.

About crying - every night no matter if DD is overtired or not. She cries for about 30 seconds after I swaddle her for nightime sleep. Then she stops, relaxes, and goes to sleep! I think it is just her way of venting from the long day. I don't even try to stop her anymore. I jsut let her cry knowing that in a minute she will be calm.

[949nikkirn]

Once Trace was sleeping through the night for almost two weeks I was dying for a new milestone to reach. So with encouragment from another BW friend I tried the 4 hour routine. I didn't think it would work right away, but it did. I hear I am lucky though because Trace is a good eater. Yes, sometimes he can't make it with 2 hours of activity, but I try my best before I loose him to crankiness and then naptime.  It still works out well because when he does have a good nap it is so worth it because if he was on the 3 hour routine I would have to wake him up in the middle of that nap to feed.
Trace does the same thing about crying when he goes down sometimes. He wakes up every morning talking and super happy so I know he's not mad at me for letting him cry a bit to sleep. And when he cries to sleep it maybe for 10 minutes max and it's not even a real cry. It's more of like a "hey, I'm in here. Come and play with me" type cry. It's definatly not the "I'm hurting" type cry.