Am I an unreasonable nutrition zealot?

[tylersmommy]

I'm starting to wonder if I'm unrealistic about what Tyler eats...he's 17 mo, and I firmly believe that the only foods that make it into his mouth should fit into a food group. Sure, I offer him choices, but no-no foods like chips, candy, and cookies aren't part of the deal. We have them in the house, DH and I eat them (a lot :oops: ), but never when Tyler's around. Our meals are healthy so Tyler can eat the same thing we do. We don't make a big deal out of no-no food, we just don't offer and he doesn't know what they are to ask. But I have yet to meet a mom (other than here) who doesn't feed their toddler junk, and I'm starting to wonder if I'm doing this right, and what I should do when Tyler asks for another kid's Dorito. When it was snack time at our old playgroup, I gave Tyler cut up fruit. The other 3 kids (same age as Tyler) usually had Cheetos, sugary cereal Cocoa Puffs, or Oreo cookies. When he was younger, he'd eat what I gave him, but now that he's older, he's attracted to what everyone else is eating. I've been trying to divert his attention with the old "Mmm! Mommy has fruit, would you like some yummy apples or bananas?" but he's becoming more and more insistent. Am I smoking crack for thinking I can keep this up??? I really want to instill healthy eating habits, but am I a hopeless zealot?

[happy mommy]

I was really hopeful too, but somewhere along the way we became total junk food junkies.  Now I have a lot of work to do to improve his (and mine) eating habits.  So, having been on both sides of the fence I would suggest that it makes sense to me to allow him to eat a small amount of no no foods and just continue to not make a big deal out of it.  I think that maybe if he gets some he won't feel deprived, but as long as you keep it to a minimum he'll grow up understanding that those are foods you eat in small amounts occasionally, but the rest of the time you eat healthy foods that help your body grow.  Think it will work? :wink:
Holly

[rachelle]

My motto is most things are ok in moderation...Kiandra doesn't have chips/cookies/candy on a regular basis.  She never (except the few and far between special occasion) has them at mealtimes.  But if I'm eating a chip and she asks for one, I'll give her one.  She doesn't ask for them if she doesn't see them.  For snacks I will give her fruit or crackers usually.  I don't think there's anything WRONG with what you're doing at all...but if he had a chip or cookie every once in a while at home, they might not seem as attractive when he's at a playdate and other kids have them.

My mom has a close friend who grew up with NO sweets, NO junk food, and as soon as she was out of the house she went crazy eating twinkies all the time!  I don't think that happens every time, but every once in a while it's not going to hurt him.

Compared to you, I probably feed kiandra too much junk, but most people I know think I'm the food nazi! Excuse me for not giving my less-than-2 year old gum all the time (ever actually).  :lol:

[rooby-rooby-roo]

No, i don't think you are being unrealistic at all! I must say that in a group situation this has never been a problem for us, especially as Ruby is a fruit junkie and would gladly give away chocolate for a pear!! However we have been faced with more one-on-one situations where Ruby has been offered or wanted potato crisps that another child has, and i have felt like 'evil mom' when saying no thank you!

I don't know whether there is an alternative range in the US, but here in the UK there is a range of foods called Organix 'Goodies'. It is basically healthy 'junk', such as maize and corn 'crisps' with no salt and just flavoured with veggies, biscuits with no sugar, just brushed with apple juice before baking etc etc and they are good!! You could try making your own, so baking some potato crisps of your own, making sugarfree fruit muffins etc

One thing though, now Ruby is older (20 months) we do allow a certain amount of more unhealthy food on our terms and when we allow it. That way i never do feel like a mean mommy when i say no to the other stuff as i know she had a 'treat' the other day! For example, i often meet a friend of mine in a local patisserie that does THE best cakes and pastries. We will have what we choose (man my sugar free diet has been tough when we go there!) and Ruby and her LO will have a small slice of their freshly made cake (normally a banana or lemon cake). We also bring our own snacks in case they want more, but this way she is getting the sugar in a form that i feel is more appropriate (rather than Oreos etc!) and it is also an occasion, a treat if you like, so she is learning that these foods are not for the every day, but hold a special value. Does that make sense?

Hope my ramblings make sense and may help you, but don't feel bad for sticking to your guns, Tyler will thank you in the future!!

[Stacie:Emma&Josh Mom]

I'm with Rachelle on this one.  I think you can go overboard at some age (probably not yet) where the child wants the things they don't ever get.  So my dd gets chips/candy/cookies when we're eating them and she asks for some, but not on any regular basis and usually after she's just eaten or has atleast started eating her lunch/dinner so she's eaten nutritious stuff first.  I used to be stricter when she was younger, but of course dh isn't as strict and I've relaxed some.  She really just gets them as treats and doesn't eat more than 1 or 2.  Good luck keeping it up if you can though!!!

[carolyn]

You have only a short time to teach healthy eating habits, and a lifetime to eat junk. I say take advantage of the short amount of time you have and stick to your guns.  I think there is no place in a toddler's diet for regular offerings of junk and none for soda.  But I have to admit, somewhere along the way I slipped.   I only give "special" foods in moderation and occasionally.  It's ok to give him birthday cake at another child's birthday party or a chip or 2 with lunch, as long as you are giving him healthy foods at other times.  As far as seeing other kids eating junk, you just have to say  "this is yours, that is hers" without a lot of explanation.  I don't think at 18 months they understand much else.

[Ricardo's Mommy]

I was pretty extreme as well. Even when Ricardo was getting ready to turn 2, I was not too happy that Pop-Pop was taking him to have ice cream every day...a tradition that Pop-Pop is very proud of. Ricardo was probably 28 months before he ever had chocolate and has had maybe 2 lollipops (for some reason) that I took away as soon as I could without a major tantrum. BUT, as extreme as I was while he was smaller, now that he is almost three, I do not fret about his having some chips with his sandwich or his having a Dora treat bag or two for afternoon snack, nor having an ice cream cone on a hot day outside in the backyard. As long as he still eagerly eats the blueberries, apples and oranges I place in front of him, I feel good about my choices. When he starts rejecting the good stuff, the bad stuff goes!

[Nikki~Nathan&Danielle]

I am also the same, but now that Nathan is two he notices more of what other kids are eating when we're out at a playdate etc and will want some.  That's fine with me - I don't have biscuits (cookies), sugary snacks and other junk in the house and he's happy to eat fruit, cheese etc.  When out he will always eat his snack first anyway, but his snack box is definitely healthier looking than most of his friends.  When we go to my parents he will have a biscuit with Grampy and I don't worry about it, it's their little ritual.  I just don't make a big deal of it and don't actually refer to sweet food as a "no no" or even call it dessert, because to me that's letting him know it's something we don't have, whereas I think to him it's just all food at the moment.  Not sure if that makes sense :? .

[tylersmommy]

Thanks so much for the perspective! I think I'm finding a happy medium now...as much as I want him to have healthy eating habits, I don't want to have the only kid in kindergarten who's never eaten a cookie. All things in moderation, I suppose!

[Ferbit]

You have only a short time to teach healthy eating habits, and a lifetime to eat junk. I say take advantage of the short amount of time you have and stick to your guns.  I think there is no place in a toddler's diet for regular offerings of junk and none for soda.  But I have to admit, somewhere along the way I slipped.   I only give "special" foods in moderation and occasionally.  It's ok to give him birthday cake at another child's birthday party or a chip or 2 with lunch, as long as you are giving him healthy foods at other times.  As far as seeing other kids eating junk, you just have to say  "this is yours, that is hers" without a lot of explanation.  I don't think at 18 months they understand much else.

Gosh Carolyn, you just took the words out of my mouth.  That's exactly how I feel.  I'm pretty strict about what my girls eat, There is no other time in a child's life that you'll EVER have this much control over what and how they eat?  Why not teach them from the start to eat healthy?

My sister b***ches all the time about how I don't feed my girls junk.  "It can't hurt!  Why can't she have that?"  And my simple answer is, "She has her entire life to eat that stuff if she wants.  Until then, I'd rather avoid it."

We relax sometimes, so we're not complete nazi's.    She's had a sip of soda before, but only a diet, caffeine free kind because that's all we have in the house.  She's had cookies and ice cream on occasion, but only the sugar-free kind.

And along the way...  I TEACH her about nutrition.  I tell her what's good for her body and what's not and I've been doing this all along whether she understood it or not.  They understand so much more than we think. 

If we're in front of other children eating badly, I say the "this is yours, that is hers" thing too.  That works really well.  Then when we leave, I explain to her "why" in more detail.

So Tylersmommy, sorry for the long blab!   :oops: I'm right there with ya!  Everyone thinks I'm so neurotic about nutrition, but it's so important to me to establish good eating habits from the beginning.  I want her to be knowledgable enough to make smart decisions on her own...   :roll: and be able to hold my tongue if she chooses otherwise.

[Theo'smom]

We've been pretty strict too - not zealots, just careful.  TJ had his first Happy Meal a few weeks ago (he was 3 in February) and his Dad was NONE too impressed with me for that :lol:  :lol:  :lol: .  We don't do fast food, juice boxes, fruit snacks, super sugar cereals, soda (he's never had any and could care less), "fun kid food" at ALL.  It really ticks me off that all of a sudden food has to be "fun" in order to appeal to a kid.  What's that about?  It's FOOD!?  Being healthy and eating well is FUN!!!!  Technicolor yogurt is NOT fun!!!!!   It's gross!!!!!!!

TJ eats lollipops once in awhile, cookies too (only homemade - I guess I'm a LITTLE fanatic, LOL), and he likes chips too (he's allowed plenty of treats, but they are just that, "treats,") but each day, on a REGULAR basis, he eats a balanced diet with fruits, whole grains and vegetables, and guess what......  he really knows what his body needs now.   When he's hungry he does not often ask for junk (though he does sometimes) - he asks for what he needs.  A banana, some peanut butter, cheese, etc.  He really knows what his body is telling him.  Similarly he does NOT eat if he is not hungry, even if you offer him ice cream or potato chips.  He knows it feels best to eat when you are hungry, and that when you are not hungry, there is NO reason to eat.  He knows this because we've taught it to him.  He has such a healthy attitude toward eating, one I wish I'd had as a kid!!!

So I've hopped up on my soapbox here just to say that I totally agree with feeding a little one healthy food.  My philosophy has always been that his little body came out perfect and by golly, as long as it is up to me I am going to KEEP it that way.  I'm not going to ruin it.  He's worth more to me.

[Deb_in_oz]

we've also been very careful with Alex.  she will be 2 next month and she still has not had a taste of chocolate.  last weekend at our friends' place for dinner she had her first taste of icecream (a small bowl of vanilla) and we had to coax her into trying it - she was so tentative, ate some, left the rest over because she was full from her healthy dinner.

even though npw she has the occassional plain biscuit and an even rarer crisp when we are having them, she has never once requested these foods.  she actually asks for crackers sometimes.  her only "dessert" is fruit or yogurt (no added sugar) and she loves these along with vegetables...

i am proud that she has yet to join me in my sugar addiction and plan to limit it for as long as she is still at home.  I do know it will be harder when she is older and goes to birthday parties, etc and dishes of snacks are put out for kids to help themselves  :roll: but most of the time right now she will look to us for whether she can have something.

[sarah74]

So good to read all your posts, was beginning to wonder if I was alone in wanting to feed my child the healthiest diet possible!
I left DD for the first time since she was born 19 months ago last weekend whilst we went to a wedding, with my SIL, and strict instructions on what she does and does not eat. I was very clear to say that under no circumstances should she be given cakes, sweets, chocolate, biscuits, fried food, or added sugar or salt in any way. I made sure that the fridge was full of the right foods, plenty of dried and fresh fruits etc.
On my return, I was told that DD had eaten cake, biscuits and ice cream on 5 occassions in 30 hours.....I went crazy. I have been accussed to depriving her of treats and being unreasonable and controlling.....whilst all I am trying to do is give her the best start in life.  DH is being supportive, but I am being made to feel like I am being obsessive about her diet and am over reacting.o
Surely my inlaws should be congratulating me on a jobwell done, raising their granddaughter, not trying to over dose her on sugar?!?!?!??
Am I over reacting?!??!?!?!?

[Ferbit]

Absolutely NOT overreacting!  I would have been LIVID if someone in my family directly ignored my nutritional requirements for my girls.

However, my opinion on CONVINCING family has changed because not everyone understands the importance of good nutrition.  Sure, they say they undertstand, but they don't really.  They know as much as the 7pm news tells them. 

Knowledge is the key.  If I want a family member to understand why I am the way I am, I just bombard them with emails and printed articles.  Go slowly.  Right in front of me, I have two articles about dairy and calcium.  I'm planning on having every one of them read the dairy article soon.

Hope that helps!

[LukasMom]

Cheetos and Oreas are really high in calories and contain little in the way of good nutrition.  Oreos in particular contain 50 calories per cookie.  There is a lot of sugar in there. And they turn your face black!  :lol:

The kind of foods your friends are giving their kids can cause obesity and juvenile diabetes. It is a serious matter, and you are not a zealot for taking your child's health seriously.

I do have one suggestion about the fruit. You could offer berries sometimes--they are so tasty that your son might actually prefer them to Oreas. I know my lo would definately choose blueberries over Oreos any day.

[Lilah'sMommy]

I'm with everyone else.  Under no circumstances will my daughter be given soda, and cake is for occasional treats-- birthday parties, Granny makes one for dessert at her house.  I offer fruit often, some whole grain graham crackers, and I do give my dd sweetened yogurt, because it is an otherwise very nutritious food.  Those are her "everyday" sweets.  I believe very strongly that we need to model healthy eating habits to our children, as to build a strong foundation for health.  I restrain myself from cajoling "just one more bite" because my dd needs to know that when she's not hungry, she can stop eating.  I offer fruits, veggies, whole grains, cheese and yogurt, and legumes in abundance and the occasional treat, and I let her pick what she wants to eat from it and how much.

I do not think in any way that this is zealot-like behavior.  Healthy eating starts at home, and when is a better time to instill healthy eating habits?  Like everyone says, they have the rest of their lives to eat junk.  The first 5 years of life are full of very rapid neural development.  At no other time will proper nutrition make such a huge impact.

That said, the occasional treat in the context of family/religious celebrations will not hurt.  I know that this Rosh Hashana, dd will taste apples dipped in honey, and she'll have some pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving.  These treats bulid tradition.  Oreos and Cheetos do not.  (The very thought of Cheetos entering my daughter's belly makes me ill).

That's my 2 cents.

[Diego's Mama]

Oh, don't feel badly, I go a step further even, and feed mainly organic.  I don't flip when Diego has something I don't normally give him, and I don't refuse a treat from someone else ... we just don't have it at home.  I talk a lot about why certain foods are healthy and help our body and why some foods can only be eaten in small amounts.

I make cookies with him and trade the white flour for whole wheat or a combo, cut down the white sugar and add honey ... that kinda thing, but we enjoy a candy bar from time to time and love natural icecream (meaning the Bryers sort with no additives).

Frankly, this is how *I* eat, it's how my husband eats, so it's not radical for my family at all.

[sara_derek]

Wow - I'm inspired! 

I never really thought about Canyon having fruit snacks and Happy Meals and other junk because it's so mainstream and almost "expected" these days to feed your kids that.  He does eat really healthy food each meal too, but he does have sugary fillers that can definitely be eliminated and replaced with healthy options.

So, tonight I went through the cupboards and collected all his sugary snacks and put them in a bag for someone else to have.  I am going to fill a drawer in the fridge with healthy snacks like fruit and cheese and turkey that he can get at when ever he wants to.   AND - no more Happy Meals!  Atleast not nearly as often anyway.

Thanks ladies for helping open my eyes.  I want him to be healthy and make healthy food choices on his own. I hope it's not too late - you don't think it's too late to retrain him, do you?

Sara

[GG]

Sara, it's never too late.  Though you might come across with a little resistance, be persistent.  (You are the mommy, after all).

I say good for you for offering healthy options instead of junk.  You are the one raising your children, not your parents, siblings, or strangers.  If they don't like it, they don't have to follow it themselves.  To each their own!

[tylersmommy]

Sara, I definitely don't think it's too late! I've found that healthy eating habits can be an uphill battle at times, but it's so worth it. Since my original post, I've relaxed a tiny bit. Tyler can have occasional treats like a bite of cookie, ice cream, etc on occasion, but it's definitely not a regular thing because we don't have stuff like that in the house (except Doritos, because DH and I are addicts, but he doesn't see us eat them :wink: ). He gets choices, but they're healthy ones. Honestly, at this point, he loves healthy snacks like apples so much that he can be easily distracted if he gets interested in another kid's junk.

Thanks so much for all the support on this, ladies...I don't feel like a big weirdo anymore!

[Ferbit]

Yay Sara!  I'm so glad you found this thread!!!    It's NEVER too late.       

[GG]

Melissa, I think it's so funny that you and your dh hide your 'addiction' so that your ds will not get into junk food!

That's probably what I will have to do in the very near future.  I'm working on weaning myself off the stuff but my hubby is majorly into chocolate and, since he's skinny and eats pretty healthily otherwise, I don't think I can convince him into doing likewise.

[carolyn]

It's definately not too late.  Just teach moderation and good nutrition.

[dkjokisch]

Let us not forget though, that kids learn by example and that they see alot more than we think they do.  Dh and I have been thinking about that alot lately, as we recently started dd on solid food.  We believe in eating together as a family whenever possible, so dh's Lucky Charms and my lunchtime can of Coke are going to have to go.  And even the stuff we don't eat in front of her - she sees it go in the cart when we go grocery shopping.  We're definitely going to have to make some adjustments.

[AlohaMama]

As someone who has struggled with obeseity most of my adult life, I can say this topic is near and dear to my heart.

Once dd was born and the post partum depression haze was lifted I got busy changing my eating habits.  Almost 3 years later I am still working at it.  I've lost 70 pounds (have 30 left to go) and gained a wealth of nutritional knowledge.  The emotional triggers for *why* I eat are a little more challenging and will probably take some time. 

My relationship with food probably has me extra paranoid.  We avoided juice until dd was over 1 year old and I realized she wasn't going to be a milk drinker.  She got 1 cup of calcium fortified OJ a day until just recently when she started eating cold cereal with milk.  She snacks on hard boiled eggs, cheese, whole grain crackers, fruit and vegetables.  I've even found her with her hand in the uncooked bulgur and she's been known to munch on dry whole wheat pasta.   :roll:

However, she's had Happy Meals.  She's had cake, cookies, and candy.  She loves ice cream.  We do avoid chips because the couple of times she's had them, she's choked. 

She eats what we eat.  Nobody in my house *needs* junk foods.  We enjoy them infrequently when we are out and about.  A monthly trip to the mall means a candy from See's.  A weekend day of shopping usually ends with an ice cream cone.  I want so badly for her to see food for what it is.  I don't want food to be bad.  I'm just hoping I don't screw her up by trying to not screw her up.

We are known within our playgroup as the healthy eaters.  I almost always take a cooler full of fruits and vegetables everywhere we go.   I offer her those, but if the other children are eating cookies I don't make a big deal about her having them.

Boy, that turned into rambling.  Sorry.   :|

[Lilah'sMommy]

Wow, Melissa, big cheers for you for making such positive, healthy changes in your life!  Losing 70 pounds is a major accomplishement, and it's wonderful that you are giving your DD a healthy start on life!  I think you've got a great attitude-- offer healthy food often and don't flip out if she eats the occasional cookie.  I don't think you're in any danger of "screwing her up by trying not to screw her up."  Great job, I say!