any april/may 05 moms want to chat?

[deb]

Wow, have I been out of the loop here! :oops: I kind of peeked in on page 18 and hope I'm mostly caught up.

I hope the surgery went well.

Oh, about fussing at the breast? Natalie is doing the same thing, and I figured out why: she's TEETHING!!! Honest-to-goodness, her bottom gums are swollen all to bits, she drools so much it makes her cough (good thing she's a tummy sleeper!), and when she nurses or takes a bottle, she slobbers all over the place because latching on HURTS. She's getting 3 doses of Infant Motrin a day and Orajel on top of that, and I rub her gums when she lets me and I can feel the swelling and they're all hot too. I REALLY hope she cuts them tonight or tomorrow, as we're spending a couple days at the seashore as a family and I don't want all of us cooped up in a hotel, or Natalie and Mommy cooped up while DH takes Josie somewhere she doesn't have to hear the screaming. :? Anyway, yes it's early, but my mom confirmed today that I had teeth at TWO months, so I guess this is my payback! LOL

Nat did a really clear growth spurt at 11 weeks, and I figured it was her 3-month one, but just before the thing with the teeth started she started with the short naps all the time. I tried doing a snack feed before naptime, and half the time she'd take a full feed from both breasts, even if she'd just fed an hour before! :shock: The little oinker!!!! :lol: So we've got teeth, a growth spurt, and a vacation. Good thing she's never managed to have a real routine, because this would mess it up for sure.

I've tried keeping a log to find out when her sleep times are, and I'm not kidding, eVERY DAY is different! There's almost always one short nap, sometimes 2, sometimes 5 or 6. Today her first 2 were short, the next 2 I managed to get in there and extend them to 90 minutes, and then for her "catnap", DH came home from work, Josie got silly and crazy (she's excited about going to the shore too), and I lost track of time - Natalie's catnap was TWO HOURS LONG!!! We have had exactly ONE day where she had 3 good naps. Most days it's four naps, and they can all be 90 minutes long as her Awake time is so short; I can't spend the time winding her down slowly like I did with Josie because I have Josie climbing the walls demanding my attention when I WOULD be winding down Natalie. Maybe once this growth spurt is over and the teeth are through we'll get into more of a routine, just in time for Josie to start preschool, meaning I'll have to drag Natalie to the car every AM at 8:45 whether or not she's in the middle of a nap.

Tummy time: Since Natalie's a tummy sleeper, she gets plenty of that anyway. I try to give her 5-10 minutes of floor time for each Activity period. She basically spends most of it crawling around on her belly (or trying to, depending on the surface she's on) and steering toward Josie's toys. She's also started "talking" to the toys and books: "Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oooohh. Oh. Oh," etc. She is a refluxer so after her feeds she spends some time, maybe 15-20 minutes, in her bouncy seat, but we can't do that much longer as she's starting to try sitting up and has nearly rolled out of the chair a few times. :shock: And if she's on her back on the floor, she can roll to her belly if she concentrates hard enough (or gets lucky and rolls to her side), so I guess it's soon time to get the baby gates out of retirement. :shock: :shock:

With Josie, I'd give her tummy time on my tummy a few minutes atatime since she resisted it otherwise. If she could see my face and we could interact, she was happy enough.

Oh, and putting her down awake and her going to sleep on her own? NOT!!!! I have to wind her down in the chair till ALMOST asleep, then when I put her in bed on her tummy I have to still do a little pat/shh. Some nights she'll try crawling some more and I'll have to take her out, wind her down AGAIN, and put her in bed AGAIN up to 3-4 times; tonight, forunately, was only twice, as DH is out this evening. (Don't it figure? :roll: LOL)

Cheers, ladies, and thanks for this thread; it really does help me keep some perspective.

[jjstar]

wow lots going on today on the thread.

Question for you ladies...does anyone have a LO that takes a really long nap at this age? I'm beginning to think that if I let Jameson sleep for a good 3 hours in the early afternoon he would be better. I'm trying to remind myself that the book is just a guide and that tweeking the routine might be the trick for us.

* What have you done for yourselves today? We were out shopping with some friends so I suppose that counts as something for myself?!
* How much time have you taken out ALONE in the last week...I walk in the evenings once the baby is asleep. I would be crazy if I didn't do that?!
*How much couple time...not as much as I would like but we'll get there.

[Katet]

jjstar, Liam has a 2.5-3 hour nap around the middle of the day & he has 2-3 30-60min naps. sometimes 2 short ones in the morning & 1 late afternoon & sometimes 2 pm & 1 am or sometimes, only one am & a pm, kind of depends on the day we are having, home/ out etc... I work it around Aiden to a large degree & that has been working great for us,... also it is pretty much the only waY I get enough awake time as Liam sleeps 7 - 7.30am (with one feed around 3 to 5 am).
I feel so blessed to have this wonderful baby...

Deb, I can't believe you havn't got an easy one second time round, people say you don't usually get 2 difficult ones in a row, mother nature sure thinks you are made of some tough stuff... If I could I'd give you a few hours of Mr Happy's life... I'd still end up with an easy life he is so good 95% of the time. (hope I don't jinx myself here)

[cambeladamom]

andrea-i hope taylor's surgery went well. i prayed for you this morning. also, i wanted to encourage you with the breastfeeding. when cambel was about 9 weeks old, he would scream every time i tried to feed him. one time he skipped an entire feeding b/c he wouldn't stop screaming and just eat. it was so frustrating. often we both ended up crying. it lasted for what seemed like forever, and then it just went away. it came back 1 or 2 more times for a few days, and now he seems to be passed it (fingers crossed). hang in there. i know it wears on you, but i bet she will grow out of it.
about bedtime--cambel pretty much goes down by himself. at night he does great b/c he has just eaten and he is so tired. naps are harder, especially if i miss the window. but for the most part he goes to sleep quickly. i have found that he may need to fuss for a few minutes. pat/shh often just makes him fussier. i am happy for how well he is doing. but before anyone gets jealous, i can assure you that the waking hours of the day are not as easy:) he is very hard to keep entertained. it seems like he just can't play with anything for more than a couple of minutes. i am afraid i am training him to need me to entertain him. does anyone else have this problem? any suggestions for me?
the questions for us---posting replies is part of "me time" i also take some time to do a devotional during cambel's first nap of the day. my dh and i have been on a couple of dates since he was born, but our time together is definately not what it used to be. i am working on that.
i forget who it was that said how helpful this thread is for them..but i second that! one time i was asking my dh a question about what to do with cambel and he said, "what do the bw ladies have to say?" that is how much i talk about this:) you all really have been a huge help and encouragement.
have a good day all...

[mommytsa]

I totally agree with Maria about how helpful this has been.  I think I've gotten almost as many, if not more ideas from you ladies than from the book. 

For the me questions:  Having just started back to work yesterday, the ONLY time I have had alone is, well, right now.   And I'll be lucky if it lasts 30 min.  I don't know how to fix that, since if DH tries to give me alone time, then he's with DS ALL day long, and has no time himself.   There just aren't enough hours in the day.  For couple time, we've gone out a few times (3 I think) when my MIL has begged to take DS.  I've finally gotten comfortable enough to plan on letting him spend the night with her, which she had been asking for since he was 3 weeks old.  (She has been a foster mother to infants for the last 10 years, so it's been reluctance to leave my LO rather than not trusting her).  So we have a weekend coming up to do couple things. I'm excited but still a little worried about how DS is going to react to being without me (and how I'm going to deal with being without him).

I never guessed how much I would worry about him when I'm away.  No wonder people always describe the love for their children as all consuming and say that they can't really even remember or imagine life without them.

Well, DS is waking up from his catnap and it's time for bath and bed.  Have a nice night and get lots of rest and mommy time.

[krice]

Andrea (Taylor's Mommy) - I hope your day went well for DS.  We are all waiting to hear how she made out in surgery.

Kate - in answer to your questions . . .

* What have you done for yourselves today? . . . . Went to Starbucks and got myself a steamed milk, went to the public library to get some books on tape, and went to my mom's house to look after her pets/plants/garden (she's out of town right now).

* How much time have you taken out ALONE in the last week . . . I get my evenings every night - I spend it watching INXS, Big Brother (yes I admit to watching trash tv), and Bratcamp.  I've also managed to have some bubble baths thrown in there too.

*How much couple time . . . . hubby and I spend our evenings together on the sofa - watching TV or playing scrabble.  We had a nice romantic evening a few weeks back for our fourth wedding anniversary.  We've also gone to 3 movies since DS has arrived and have had friends over for card games and fun.

Matthew's day was a bit better.  He actually made some hungry cries and wanted the bottle today - I haven't heard those in so long that I almost didn't recognize them!  Our EASY schedule is slightly off - we had 3 solid naps of 100 minutes and a fourth 30 minute catnap (something DS never does).

Wish us luck.  DH and I are driving 9 hours tomorrow to see his parents.  This will be our first trip with DS.  I can't believe how much more I've had to pack.  I normally find visiting his parents 'stressful' enough, but now I've got a little one who is having some difficulty with feeding . . . boy I hope I survive this . . .

By the way, I bought a Bumbo seat today and it's AWESOME!!!!  DS was so shocked/surprised when I plopped him down in it.  If you haven't seen these check them out at http://www.bumboseat.com

[Jamom]

My DS also loves the Bumbo seat.  He's been in it since 10 weeks.  And it's great now that I think he has a bit of a flat spot on the back of his head.  it's only minor so I'm told that keeping him off of it may help round it out.  Anyone else's lo's have this??

We have those nasty shots today for his 4 mo. visit.  I don't know who hates them more -- me or him.  Last time he was all out of sorts for a couple of days.  I hope the same doesn't happen -- I only have 4 1/2 days with him left before I return to work.  :cry:   Haven't quite grasped the thought of that yet.

Thanks for all the tummy time responses.  That makes me feel a little better as Jake can do about 5-10 minutes.  Sometimes I have to give him a quick break and then he can continue again.  I whipped out the portable DVD player and put a Baby Einstein DVD in it.  I put it in front of him during tummy time and he just loves it.   Between me and the DVD, I can keep him entertained on his tummy for awhile.

As for the "ME" questions:

1.  What have you done for yoursef today?  Nothing yet, since I just put Jake down for a nap.  I guess e-mailing, etc.

2. How much time have you taken out ALONE in the last week.  I generally take my dog for a walk in the evenings once Jake is down.  I went "back to work" shopping this week -- a little depressing since I had to buy bigger sizes but it was definitely "ME" time; and a girls' night out.

3. How much couple time... probably not enough.  DH and I are into watching Alias -- we just got hooked so are now watching past seasons together at night after Jake goes to bed. 

Hope everyone and their lo's are well and that you all have a good weekend.

[jjstar]

Okay so we've had a ROUGH day. We're watching a friends dog for the weekend...he woke Jameson at 5:15 this morning. Couldn't get him back to sleep and finally fed him at 6 which has put our whole day off track. Then when I was trying to put him down for his first nap around 8ish I was leaning on the side of the crib (after 40 minutes he still wasn't asleep) and would you believe it...it broke. Too much shh/patting I guess. (DH & I both lean on it plus the crib was given to us from his aunt who used it with her last baby.) I just can't believe it. So now I have to wait for DH to get home and decide if it can be fixed or if we need to go get a new one.

[mommytsa]

jjstar-

How frustrating!!  I can't  offer any help, but I knowhow much I hate those days, and having some commiseration usually  helps.

[jjstar]

well the day didn't end any better than it started. He started acting tired for the night at 7:00, took a bath and he didn't finally fall asleep for the night until 9:15. I was supposed to be scrapbooking with a friend and DH was in charge...that didn't work out the way we had planned. He played the "you're so much better at it then me" card. I politely replied and said it was because I have more practice. (Major downfall to staying home full time.) LO did sleep until 5 and I had a bottle on the night stand from DF that he didn't finish. Thought okay maybe he is hungry...he ate 5 ounces in 10 minutes. Then I went back to bed and DH finally woke me up at 8:00. So Jameson got to get caught up on his sleep. I'm praying that is a good sign for Saturday. I could use a good day!

BTW, DH thinks the crib can be fixed so we don't have to buy a new one. I'm happy about that!

[Taylor's Mommy]

First, thank you all so much for the kind thoughts and prayers.  Taylor made it out of surgery with a bruised bottom and 11 prick marks from where they tried to get the IV in unsuccessfully several times.  The doc said that was the hardest part of the surgery!  Poor thing she has really small veins just like me, which is why I DREAD IV's!  :cry:  Anyhow, she wasn't in too much pain all day so we gave her only one dose of Tylenol which helped her get lots of rest during the day.  Then at bed time she fell asleep on the breast so I didn't give her another dose.  Then DH and I both fell asleep and didn't give her her 11pm dream feed so she woke up crying around 1 am for it and then was up about 10 times after that.  I figure she was pretty confused and distraught from the day.  Teh next day we gave her a couple of more doses to keep her comfortable and help her get some rest, and by Friday she was pretty much back to normal.  Definitely was the hardest thing I have ever had to do though!

Krice-I hope the weekend at the parents house went well.  Remember that even if things get off track you can get him back in a few days!  Also, I looked up the Bumbo seat and ordered one for Taylor right away!  It looks so cool and I think she will love it because she is constantly trying to lift herself up out of the bouncy seat.  She does not like to be leaning back anymore.  Can't wait to get it!  BTW, what we are doing with Taylor is a 10-15 minute wind down in her room where we change her diaper, put on the noise machine, swaddle her bottom half and then set her down.  Many times she will fuss for about 10 minutes and we walk in a couple of times to reassure her, only picking up if she is crying.  then she's off.  I'm sure Matthew will get there soon, don't give up!

Jamon and Mommytsa-I go back to work in 2 weeks so I can relate.  I went in for a few days last week and it was soooo hard, that I am reconsidering my career path.  I think I may look for something part time close to home if we can afford it.  I really had no idea how much I would miss her.

Cambels Mom-thanks so much for your prayers and encouraging words on breastfeeding.  I will continue to plug away as I know it is so good for her.  Also, thanks for starting this thread, as it has been AWESOME!

JJSTAR-hope your days been going better today!

Now Katet, to answer your Q's:
1. What have I done for myself?  today I got a manicure and pedicure!
2. Me Alone Time: I went runnign the other mornign while taylor took her nap.
3. Couple time: we spend all evenings together watching tv and snuggling together.  Also the other night we went to the mall to get a weddign present and had dinner.  Pretty basic, but still fun!

Thanks again and give kisses to all those cuties!
Andrea

[mommytsa]

Andrea, I'm so glad to hear Taylor is well!!  Again, in the things-I-never-understood-before-becoming-a-parent file:  "this hurts me more than it does you!"

[Katet]

jjstar, I used to get comments from dh with Aiden & kept saying to him it was good bonding & it would get easier... it was great bonding, because dh has a little mate now, who won't let me do anything for him if dh is around (no nappy changes on the weekend for me :wink:) which is great. It is all to easy to have father's step in for the fun stuff & also it can result in mum never getting a break as I know friends whose toddlers won't let daddy put them to bed or bath them etc.

To all of you back at work or returning, I know how hard that is, I spent my first day back after Aiden crying, when anyone spoke to me & ds was at home with dh, it was just as bad when he started a childcare, it is like leaving a piece of yourself behind.

I must go & wake Liam as he is due for a feed & his day has been a bit disrupted so I had to do EASAS to keep him on target as I have found if I feed him at less than 3.5 hours he wakes earlier at night (due to more shorter feeds in the day = snacking), but If I feed him at 4hours I struggle to get 5 feeds in 24hours as he does such a long stretch at night (7.30- 5am - no DF). So I tend to have to clock watch & feed every 3.5 hours

[Jamom]

Andrea -- also glad to hear the surgery went Ok.  I can't imagine as I have to leave the room when Jake gets shots and it just pains me to hear him cry like that. (I have my own fear of needles -- don't ask how I got through all the pricks during pregnancy -- just did).

JJstar-- i, too, am aware of the dh mantra "But you're so much better at it than me".  My dh is staying home with Jake for 3 days when I start work and I am hoping that he will get some practice in and that when I go back to work, he'll realize that he just can't rely on me to do the not-so-fun stuff.  One can only hope. 

Well, 2 1/2 (if we count today) more days left before work.    The tears are starting to come and I feel really sad.  I know others do it and everyone keeps telling me the anticipation is worst  than going back, but right now, I just don't feel that way.  I actually think the 1st day may be OK, because it will be short and it will be like a mini-break for me.  But I think that as the days go on, that I will completely miss seeing Jake's every smile and dare I say it -- his upset faces too. 

For all of you who swaddled or used to --  I know some have successfully weaned their lo's from this but Jake sure seems to need it.  The problem -- he needs one hand out to self-soothe but then this hand wakes him up at that 25 minute mark.  Today, I laid him down for his morning nap when he was sucking his thumb, checked back on him 10 minutes later and hand was just by his side so went in quietly, without making eye contact and swaddled him completely -- he is now sleeping.  BUT I can't expect a daycare provider to go through all of those steps.  Does the weaning really work??? Does it just take time?  Maybe when he starts daycare, we just go without the swaddle?  Any ideas?

Hope you all had a good weekend.   

[jjstar]

Andrea I am so happy to hear that Taylor is doing so well.

Well yesterday was such a textbook DAY but boy did he make up for it last night. He did the 4 hour EASY to a T yesterday but last night woke up from 12:30-2:30. He wasn't really crying but when we would lay him down on his belly he would roll right over and then wake up. I'm not sure if should somehow teach him to sleep on his back or what. Or I was wondering if he might be teething. How will I know for sure? Or the other thought I had was that because he techniquely missed a feed yesterday because of the switch from 3 hr to 4 maybe he was having hungier issues. But I wouldn't think that would keep him up for 2 hours. Oh I never thought a baby could be so frustrating...but then they smile and it gets better. Good thing they smile?!