any april/may 05 moms want to chat?

[s_olano00]

Thanks so much for your welcome notes!!

Maria (Cambel’s Mom) – I thought exactly the same thing that you did when the Doc told me to stay calmed…. If your Mom wants to, before coming I can give you my mobile number in case she needs anything when she's here

Kathy (Katet) – I also try to make some relaxation stuff while breastfeeding, like the one they teach at birth classes..

Erin (Jamon) – How did your first day at work go?

On my side, DD are having a pretty rough week. She has been a gluton since day 1, and now that’s she’s getting bigger, when she breastfeeds, she sucks my breasts so hard that 2 nights ago, I just couldn’t keep it up anymore. I just got to the point where my breasts are bleeding due to the strenght of her suckling and the skin is just  falling off. Here in Hungary in each district there is a lady that is dedicated to give advise in everything related to the care of kids and babies, so I went there and I got a prescription for a cream with a local anesthetic (the pain is unbearable!) so now I cannot bf my DD until my breasts are healed properly. Of course, DD misses my breasts, and it is very difficult for me to settle her down when she wakes up at dawn hungry. I hope they heal soon. I am very happy that after reading the part of the book about getting used a baby to take a bottle even though is breastfed I took the pain of finding a good bottle and the right nipple (I tried almost all the nipples that are sold over here) and got her used to take the bottle, because otherwise I would be in deep trouble right now.

On the bright side, we are getting ready for a weekend trip to Rome! My DH was crazy enough to buy plane tickets a week after DD was born… I am a bit scared, but I guess that after reading your posts when you travelled with your babies, I am a bit more confident. Just one question for the ones who travelled by plane – How did you handled the taking off / landing? I heard it can be quite painful for the baby’s ears.

Well, gotta go. I need to get some sleep now that I can - now I don't know how lon it will take me to settle down my DD when she wakes up.

[jjstar]

Silvia...regarding flying, I nursed during take off and landing. Even if he wasn't hungry. If your LO will take a paci that would work too (I think). Just have to get them to swollow. Good luck & have fun.

Well we're making the switch back to 3 or 3.5 EASY instead of 4. Just couldn't make it through the nights without the extra feed. Not a huge deal I just hope that the naps work out okay.

Anyone else (US ladies I suppose) having gas shortage problems? My DH called from work and made me drive to fill up my tank because of the shortage. I was supposed to go shopping with a friend tomorrow but we're not going because of the gas. Not something I'm looking forward to dealing with. Oh well I guess that means we get to stay home and stay cool in the A/C?!

[Katet]

Silvia, sorry to hear about your sore nipples, I had the most awful pain with Aiden, kept getting told to give up & put him on formula... I fed him to 12mo. I have flown with both boys, Liam at 7weeks & Aiden first at 6mo, but many times since. With Liam I tried to bf on take off & landing, but he won't go on unless he is hungry, so I gave him my finger to suck, as he kept spitting out the paci. As Aiden has been older, I gave him a bottle first time & as he has got older I have given him drinks from straw cups to suck on.

Kathy, glad the holiday went well...in all honesty I'm not surprised your lo is more settled not having the rice cereal, that was why I questioned it earlier, I know a few people who had the same situation... their lo's spat up more without it, but were more unsettled with it, I don't think the intestines are ready for it so early.


well my little Angel seems to be having a devilish few days, not sure if it is because our routine has been thrown out, or he is actually getting ready for a milestone (Aiden was always unsettled jsut before he reached an achievement, It could be a late 3m growth spurt as he didn't really have one... not that he could grow any bigger, he is already in 6-9mo clothes because he is so long! I am trying to keep him on a strict 3.5 hour routine today, but sleeps are all messed up as once again he fed 2x overnight (comfort as much as anything), but woke 4 times... fortunately Aiden had a great night, although unfortunately was woken by Liam at 5.30am, but I was up so it didn't matter & he went back until 7am... see if that continues, just got the new carpet & Aiden goes into a twin bed tonight... Wish me luck girls. I might be coming back for suggestions as to how to fix things if it doesn't get bette with Liam in the next day or so

Re couple time, it is our big celebration week... just had the anniversary of our first date, next week is our Wedding Anniversary & we have Father's day on Sunday & My birthday next week too (Aiden wants Mummy to have a rocket cake!!) , so on next Wednesday (our 3rd Wedding Anniversary) Aiden is in childcare & a friend is taking Liam for 3 hours & DH & I are going to the Restaurant we had dinner at on our first date! The unfortunate thing is I while the heart & head are ready for a bit of "horizontal Dancing" I am still not properly healed from the tear I had deliverying Liam & the Dr advised me not to, so, we are going to have to be inventive & remember some "high school dating activities.

Anyway must get some of the furniture back in my stepdaughter's newly carpeted room while the boys are asleep.

[Taylor's Mommy]

Hi Ladies-the thread has been real busy these last few days!
s_olano00 welcome to the board!  So sorry to hear about the sore nipples.  my dd in the last few days has learned how fun it can be to tug on mommies right nipple so hard i scream in pain!   :shock: then she looks up and laughs at me! :evil:   I don't really know how or if you can teach a 4 month old not to do that? :?   Anyone have any suggestions?
Also, like JJSTAR said, nursing on take off and landing really helped Taylor's ears.

Jamom-big hugs to you.  I hope your first day back wasn't too hard :cry:   I'm sure your lo was thrilled to see you when you got home.  I have 8 days till I go back.  Tonight dh and I were going over our finances to see if I could maybe take something part time.  I think if we lived frugally we could do it, but now I just need to find something! :roll:   Either way I am going back and we'll see how it goes.

Krice-glad to hear the trip went well and the feedign issues are improving.  BTW, Taylor's Bumbo seat came today and she LOVES it!
Also JJSTAR, after I heard your lo was already in the exersaucer I tried Taylor in it and she loves it too!  All sorts of new things to keep her occupied!

Katet-good luck with moving to the big bed!  let us know how it goes.

Hi to everyone else out there too that I didn't mention.  Glad to hear all the babies are doing pretty well, night wakings, colds, shots and all!
Andrea

[Katet]

Wow Andrea, taylor is starting young on the tugging. Most people seem to get it around teething time... did you teeth early??
Andrea, cause & effect... one you will be hit with many times. Taylor pulls, you react, so she thinks ok this is good I do it again, she doesn't know a positive reaction from a negative one, just that she gets a response. SO hard as it is you need to ONLY react by taking her off the breast, every time she does it (stick your little finger in the side). If you cry ouch it encourages repeating... the best lesson I learnt is to reward positive behaviour & ignore or divert negative.

[jjstar]

Kate that is great advice about ignoring the negative. I know that is going to be hard for me but I'll try?!

Andrea I'm glad your LO likes the activity center. It is great because you  can move it all around with you. The other thing I got out this week was his highchair. It is on wheels and our whole first floor is hardwood. So I just wheel him around with me and he is at my level. It is also at the right height for him to watch his videos. I gave him a spoon yesterday and he was acting like he was eating. Too funny.

Well we had a horrible night. He had trouble going down last night, then didn't want to go back down after the DF and was up 3 more times later. I think he is teething but the tylenol doesn't really seem to be helping. Oh I feel so bad but don't really know what to do. We're back to a solid 3.5 hour schedule and we're not leaving the house for the next 2 days so hopefully a good day routine for the next couple will help the nights. At about 3 last night my husband said that if he hears me ask for as second baby he will be ignoring me!

Did someone else say they were having trouble getting their LO back down after the DF? (I can't remember if it was on this thread or another one.) I'm just not sure if it is an issue I should try to fix or wait it out becuase of the possible teething?!

Well I'm off to work on my devotional...me time!

[jjstar]

Kate I forgot to wish you luck with your couple time. Our anniversary (6th) is this weekend too. I have a friend coming over tomorrow night to stay with the baby once he is in bed for the night. I'm surprising DH. I think I'm going to pack a little picnic snack and go to the boat. It is just across the street so at least we're close in case our friend (a guy who has no kids) needs us.

[cambeladamom]

wow-this thread has been busy the past few days:)
we are at my in-laws. it was a spur of the moment trip. my mom had to take a trip to KY and didn't want to drive alone, so i offered to with her and stay at the in-laws (who live in louisville) until my dh arrives for the weekend. it is nice to be here--no housework when ds is napping:)
cambel got his 4 month shots yesterday. oh how i hate those shots! but he did really well. and he doesn't seem to be as fussy as he was after his 2 month shots.
kathy- i totally agree with what you were saying about loving your husband. in fact, my sister and i were just talking about that oprah show the other day. before ds was born someone said to me the best way to love your child is to love his father. and i agree. it is hard though when you pour yourself into your child all day to have energy to invest in your husband in the evening.
and about being the "perfect" mom--i really struggle with this too. i have to aremind myself not to compare myself to other moms so much, and to not judge my success as a mom by comparing how well ds is sleeping, or how much he cries, to other babies. (it sounds silly i know, but such is the life of a perfectionist)
well, i better go. ds is up from his nap.
one more thing--i feel so badly for the moms who have been hit by the hurricane on the gulf coast. it would be so hard to be stripped of all that you have, and also have a baby to care for. it makes me so grateful for all we have.

[Jamom]

Hey everyone.  I have been reading all the posts and looks like everyone is doing well.  First day back wasn't so bad and 2nd day isn't either. I hate to say it but it's nice to see my co-workers/friends and to have some "me" time.  However, I have been able to stay home longer in the morning the last couple of days and play with Jake until his 1st nap, so, I think that has helped.  Once he starts daycare (dh is taking care of him now), I won't have that time and I think that is when it will really get hard.  On the bright side, I do see good developments in my dh just after 1 day of taking care of Jake.  It seems like he feels like more of an active role and even wanted to discuss Jake's naps and eating with me last night.   

 JJStar-- I think it was me that mentioned problems with the DF.  Jake has been waking up at it and not falling back asleep very easily.  He'll cry.  Some nights are OK, others are not. I haven't been able to determine exactly why.  I am sticking with it since he sleeps through the night after the DF and I don't want to mess with that right now, even if I have to spend time getting him back to sleep after it.

Andrea -- if Taylor likes the Exersaucer, you might also want to try the Jumperoo.  I got one for Jake and he just loves it.  (He loves his exersaucer too).  He likes to be "active" and to be "standing" so he has just taken to both the Jumperoo and Exersaucer.  As far as work, big hugs to you too.  I hope the transition is Ok.  I don't think I am fully into it quite yet so am waiting to see how I feel next week and the following weeks after that before I make any decisions about going part time.


Well, better get back to work.  Glad to hear everything is going fairly well for everyone.

[mommytsa]

Just wanted to pop in and congratulate those who are doing well, and say keep it up to those who aren't always doing so well.

The transition back to work is tough, but that's partly because there's a bunch of other stuff going on too right now.  DS suddenly couldn't sleep unless we got up and gave  him his paci every 30 min or so (both nights and naps).  DH and I decided to get rid of the paci cold turkey (we're too lazy and impatient to do the gradual weaning).  This has made it even more difficult on me to ba t work when I know DS is screaming and DH is doing pu/pd for hours on end while I'm at work, having "fun."  I would do anything to be there instead of at work right now.  I feel like I'm being irresponsible and dumping the "fixing" of problems I created on to my DH, who has been incredibly supportive of just about everything that I've wanted to do (except pu/pd-but I FINALLY convinced him last night to try it for a week--praying that it will work and we won't have to resort to CIO).  So aside from knowing that there is chaos at home, I'm feeling a lot more comfortable about going to work in the am (this is week 2 for me).

It's interesting to hear about the whole idea of giving up the "perfect mom" image.  After listening to what you ladies have to say about it, it certainly seems like that's what I'm feeling, but I don't know if I'm ready, willing or able to let go of it.  I know I take my DH for granted, and know I would be devasted if anything were to happen to him, but I'm feeling so overwhelmed by trying so hard to be a good mom (perfect doesn't enter ito my vocabulary about motherhood-I'm too inexperienced to think I could even get near perfect) that I don't spend the time and effort appreciating him and taking care of him. :oops:   I guess that's one more thing that I have to try and work on. :?   How can having a baby turn my whole life upside down?  To think I used to be confident and self-assured and empowered.  Where did that lady go? :cry:   I liked being her.

[Katet]

Theresa, don't cut your self up that person is still there, she is just learning to take on all the new stuff as well, learning is a hard process & it is harder for some mothers to put their relationship first, but you will get there.

Re loving your partner or child more...I unfortunately had it thrust upon me. when Aiden was 4mo, dh was diagnosed with a pancreatic tumour. It turned our already stressed household upside down.  Anyway dh had to have major surgery (whipple resection) & spent 3 days in high dependency as his whole intestines were rearranged. He needed me! I was torn, I thought he needs me but so does Aiden, until I suddenly relised, I needed to be needed by Aiden as it was the easier option, but in all honesty Aiden's needs could be met for that short time by anyone & through out his life, some of his needs would be met by people other than me & both of us needed to realise that...but my DH did need me & no one else was going to replace me, I vowed to be there in sickness & in health. It was so hard to put my dh first (& still is, with 2 lo's) but having a toddler now I realise, how important it is for them to see through their every day life that their parents have needs too & I think it is something good to start early.
Well things seem to be better with Liam, he was awake twice overnight, but the second time  (6.45) couldn't really be classified as night... just he used to sleep to 7.30/8. I think a lot had to do with me letting his routine fit around Aiden & me & being a bit neglectful of his needs, so I'm going to start living our life a bit like a school timetable, but it is the only way I can think of to meet our whole families needs & keep me sane!!

Aiden's first night in his "big boy bed" went really well, apart from his nightmares (but they have been on/off for a few weeks now) at 6.45, he was lying in bed - awake, had found the torch & was reading a book -not bad for 25 months old... 5mins later he came in dragging his new bed cover saying "dig-dig blanket" as it has diggers, trucks etc on it & they + wiggles are his favourite things

[cambeladamom]

well, i think between cambel's shots and being in a different place, he is going on a "sleeping through the night/taking naps" strike. and i was just really starting to enjoy a full night's sleep! hopefully things will be back to normal when we get home. his grandparents are loving the time with him though, so i guess a little sleep deprivation is okay for now:)
katet-i really don't know how you managed when aiden was so little and your husband was sick. but i commend you for your perserverance, and your desire to be such a good wife and mother. your family is lucky.
ds is down for a nap now, and i should probably take one too...
hope everyone is doing well.

[Taylor's Mommy]

Hi Ladies,

I hope everyone has a great Labor Day weekend.  Tomorrow we leave for Scottsdale, AZ where it is 110 degrees!  Our friends have a pool, but I am worried about it being so hot for Taylor, but of course they have air conditioning too, so I'm sure it will all work out.  Taylor is doing great at night, but the last 2 days in a row she has taken 1 45 minute nap.  I am so paranoid about it becoming a problem again because we struggled with them for about 8 weeks :evil: .  Yesterday I didn't freak out because I figured it was just a fluke, but after today I freaked out and had flash backs (okay, I'm being a little dramatic, but you know what I mean! :wink: ).  She is doign a little better at eating, not fussing so much, but still tugging on the right nipple (weird that it is just the right one) :roll:   Katet-thanks for the advice.  I have stopped reacting to her when she does it so hopefully she will stop soon!

Jill-hopefully Jameson's night went better.
Maria-I'm sure as soon as you two are back home he will go back to normal.  Taylor did the same exact thing when we were in Tahoe.  I imagine they wake up at night as they normally do at home and look around and say "hey, where am I?!?!"  Also, ditto on feeling so bad for all those affected by hurricane Katrina.  We should all say a prayer if we haven't already.
Jamon-glad to hear work hasn't been too bad.  I am counting down the days!    Also, we too ahve the Jumperoo!  We took it out for her today and she wasn't quite sure what to do with it but I think she'll really enjoy it.
Mommytsa-I hope work is going okay for you too.  I wanted to tell you to encourage dh to stick with pu/pd as it does and can work.  at least for us anyhow.  it was after we did 3 days of pu/pd that Taylor learned to fall asleep on her own and we haven't looked back since!  I also know exactly what you mean about wondering where that confident woman went?!?!  I say all the time that my stressful sales job was a lot easier than raising a child, but definitely not as rewarding!

Regardign being the perfect mom, do any of you feel that you bore your lo's?  sometimes I just sit with Taylor or when we go on our walks and I don't really say much...I kind of zone out with my thougts and then I feel guilty like I am not stimulating her brain enough and probably boring the heck out of her!  Anyone else feel that way?

Gotta go pack...sorry for the long post!
Andrea

[Katet]

Andrea, don't feel you have to stimulate her brain... I used to just put Aiden on a rug (& do the same for Liam... but he has Aiden to watch) & get on with things. I only talked to him a bit on walks... now he is a toddler I have to chat to him all the time. But they pick up so much around them that less is often more, Taylor will be picking up & distinquishing the sounds that make up her world when you walk & as she gets older, she will link the sound to the birds or cars or buses etc. I have become so much more attune to the sounds around me since Aiden as he tells me there is a bus, long before he sees it.

I almost feel like a mean mum against all you  girls, my boys have a play gym on the floor & an old fashioned bouncey seat & they get propped up on pillows, to look at me, or do tummy time & get to lie on a rug outside & that is it, but Aiden has turned out ok & childcare keep telling me he is bright, so he must have got enough stimulation.

I know now why Liam was unsettled the last 4 days ( apart from the cold) he has reached a new developmental milestone... he is dribbling!! Yes things as small as that do in my experience cause an upset to the routine.

Also those of you travelling, now our lo's are alert to their surronds, it is a good idea to give them at least 1/2 hour play time in their "holiday bed" before putting them down for a nap/night as then they don't fight sleep trying to "check out" the new surrounds & it is a good idea to take some of the bed linen from home, so it smells familiar.... all helps keep the routine.

Maria, you know I survived when dh was sick, simply because I had to... when you are at work one day having been up half the night with a teething baby & got 2 hours sleep, you survive, because you have to. I bet we all have a lot more respect for our mothers, now we are mum's our selves..

This thread is getting quiet long, was wondering if I should ask the moderators to trim it??? If we get that done was thinking we might start off with. Breif summary of our lo's like what EASY we are on, Age etc... thoughts???

[jjstar]

Kathy...I'm not sure how I missed your post from a couple days ago but I wanted to comment. I completely agree with you about keeping your spouse as your first love. I have seen it all too many times when the children are the main focus and the marriage is in distress. Kate you set a great example for us, thank you. I'm at my first decision point with this right now. My MIL is coming to visit in a few weeks and has offered to keep the baby for dinner or even over night. I just don't feel ready to go but I don't know if that means my focus is in the wrong spot or not. (My main concern is that she won't have seen the bedtime routine before she would have to do it and I'm afraid it would be awful for Jameson.)

Well last night was a bad one again. I have a question for you ladies. Here is our bedtime routine...once he has been up for about 60-90 minutes from his last nap we go up and he gets a bath. Then we move into his room and I lotion him up and get him in his pjs, wrapped in a blanket and then nurse him. Here is where the problem comes in. He does a full feed (between 15-20 minutes) and he half a sleep. I then give him a kiss and tell him I'm putting him in his bed (that way he is alert enough to know he is going into his crib). Some nights he goes right to sleep. But lately it is like as soon as I lay him down he is wide awake ready for activity. He proceeds to roll to his back the minute I let go of him and just looks up at me and laughs. I've tried walking away before he rolls over to look at me thinking maybe he'll just eventually fall asleep. One night he was in there for 45 minutes just looking around. He isn't crying so I can't do PU/PD. Last night he got a bit fussy after about 10 minutes of being in his crib with me pushing him back to his stomach when he would roll to his back. One thought I had was to switch the routine to feed and then bath but I wasn't sure if I would mess him up worse by switching things. It is really starting to get to me because of the length of time it takes to get him to bed at night. Last night I started feeding him at 6:55 and he wasn't asleep until 8:15. Very long evening. Does anyone have any thoughts? I wasn't sure if I should put all of this on this board or another, if it should go somewhere else, let me know.

And if the going down wasn't bad enough he was up 5 minutes before DF and 2 other times and THEN decided to get up for the day at 6:10.

Thanks!