Sooooo confused and depressed!

[chell]

Yea I was a right porker when I was BF. That is spooky, I see my mums body when I look in the mirror too!  The weight is gradually coming off, especially since my partner and I have made a pact - no sweeties/ nicieties during the week!  :shock:  (I try not to guts at the weekend). It's been over nine months now and I'M still not backto my pre Baby J days!! But almost there. I'm a great advocate for guttsing while BF (healthy things of course :wink: ), you and bub need it, so forget being porky for now you can sort that out later!

I don't think signing is particulaly a BW thing, although Tracy says its good to do if you want. It is brill, and would recommend it. I think we started a bit early and not been very consistent, especially with other signs, so that's probably why its taken so long! Haven't seen meet the fockers, haven't seen much tv at all. Did see league of gentlemen film - absolute rubbish ( I thought anyway).

I wonder if Oscar is one of thoses babes who are just programmed to 45 min naps?

We are away for a few days next week. ( oh no the organisation, is something else!!)

xxx

[Onewoman]

Just to let you know I don't think crontrolled crying is a good thing! It was just what the health visitor told me to do, and being young, inexperienced and without the invention of the internet I just did what she said.....trusting the "experts" blindly.  My point was that it's really important to get it sorted out in the kindest way possible, but there will always be some crying.

As for the body thing, it took me about 2 years to get used to my Mummy body...at first I hated it, especially the boobs and stretch marks! Now I love the fact my body kinda tells the story of my life and it's a proper womans body, not a girls one.

The signing thing is cool. I haven't tried it myself, but it must be great for you to be able to communicate with each other.

[oscar10405]

Susana - i didn't think you were pro-control crying!  I hope my post didn't sound like I did.....i was more replying to JBD!

I think it might take me two years to accept my 'new' body!  I don't mind changing a little but still looking pregnant is a bit much..... .  Though, I do like what you say about not having a girls body etc.  I love being curvy but frumpy, I'm not so keen on.... :roll:

Getting back to that Mum thing - it IS a bit spooky because I always looked at her body and though 'Nah, I won't get like that because our fat is distributed differently etc......BUT.....I swear, it's all changed and I am fatter in the SAME areas as she is.  This is not a gradual thing, it happened straight after giving birth. 

Re Oscar and 40 minute naps - THIS is my new fear - what if he IS a short napper and we waste his tears trying to force a longer sleep out of him?  When do you say 'okay.....clearly, he will only ever short-nap?'.  He can obviously get past it at night?  I put him down at 7pm tonight and at 9pm, he yelled out for about 30 seconds then went back to sleep.  I don't understand the day thing..... :?:

I agree, the signing sounds really cool!  xx

[Onewoman]

My Mum is a tiny little thing..... unlike me.....I think I am developing the body of my Nan! Ha ha! I look so mumsy it's funny...hopefully not frumpy though  :lol:

Yeah the 45 minute nap thing is a bummer, but after the first few weeks where they usually sleep loads, she has hardly ever had long naps. A few days ago I decided to give trying to extend her naps a rest (unless she is really crying when she wakes up) and she has slept better at night! . Her own pattern is to have 4 x 45 naps in a day and I have been trying to get them into 2 longer naps.  I don't understand why she can get through 45 minutes at night but not in the day either...just boggles me! Even if I have the room as dark it makes no difference. I have tried keeping her really calm so as not to overstimulate her - no difference. I have played around with her awake time - no difference. So I am just going to leave it. One good thing about short naps, is we can go out more and she can have her nap in the buggy. I was feeling like a prisoner!

I think her short naps will just join up at some point into 2 longer naps, probably as she gets more physically active. Her best naps are after swimming when her body is tired rather than her brain, which is just like me really. (I think that makes sense for a spirited type?! What do you think?)

Hope you are having a good weekend   

[oscar10405]

I agree!  That's what I've been doing the last couple of weeks - mainly because I just got sick of the tears involved with trying to extend it - and also because he often wakes up so alert and it's like 'okay, how do we get you back to being sleepy?!!'.  I know he probably would do better with more but I'm not sure if he can, or if it's worth the fight! 

This probably isn't BW style but the last week or so has been easier, purely because I've been accepting his short naps and expecting them.  Now that we've got him sleeping OUT of our arms, things are much better so I can accept the crappy day sleeps a bit better.  By no means is it perfect but it's more tolerable.

I'm not sure if they will blend the 4 naps into 2 longer ones - that would be awesome!  I'm thinking along the same lines though, when he starts crawling etc, he might stay up longer but be more physically tired and better for naps.  :roll:

[chell]

Oh no!! :twisted:  I just don't understand why I lose messages!! It is so annoying :roll:

Didn't mean to scare you Jane when I said about Oscar maybe being one of those 45 min sleepers  :oops: , I really meant nappers!!

Jacob's alot better , but I'm still grotty, may go to G.P.s tomorrow. That's the trouble  with Jacob going to Nursery, you get all sorts of bugs. I only amalgamated J's naps over the past few weeks, ( he is now 9 months) and just the pm naps, as he goes to nursery 4 mornings a week and trying to get them to follow my instructions will be a big project :shock: !!. ( I have leant them my bw video, though, so that they know how to do pu/pd. I just used p/sh when I heard him stirring, which seemed to work . ( I took him out of the cot).

xx

[oscar10405]

You didn't scare me Cheryl!  I know what you meant and I often wonder the same thing. 

The 5.30-45am wake ups are really annoying?  What does Tracy say to do about that? I suppose p/u, p/d?  I have her book but find some things hard to locate unless it's listed in the index?!

You're brave taking Jacob to day-care!  I get nervous when someone else wants to hold Oscar!   :roll:   Silly, I know........

[chell]

PIG! lost message again!!  :twisted:   

I know what you mean about leaving them. I still hate leaving Baby J at day care, but it is better now that I have spread my hours out over the week. Had to go back to work...eeked it out as long as possible.

I think Tracy says that a lot of babies naturally wake at around that time of morning and it depends on what time they go to bed, so if they go early, not to expect them to sleep in late. Jacob has very gradually made the progression towards later waking. Its still aroung 6 ish though. I don't feel I can really change this though because on work days I need him to have his milky early so theres time for breaky, and to fit everything else in too! I htink if you delay that first feed gradually, the'll get used to it, but probably best to get other stuff sorted first.

xx

Saw prof. Strobel. He was brilliant. J is goingto have more tests and am seeing a nice dietician too. It's a real big relief. I can now carry on with having a weaning plan   

When do you go away? And do you really live in the desert (or is that dessert) (Mmm! I know which one I'd prefer! :wink: )

[oscar10405]

Wonder why you keep losing your messages?  I lost one once, but only when I was trying to add a photo that was too large.  If I'm scared I'll lose my message, I will 'control C' it (I have no idea how much computer knowledge you have so please forgive me if I'm sounding patronising!) so I can paste it in if I lose it.

If you have to work, that's life.....I'm lucky.  I did read a little snippet in a magazine the other day.....it said that children that go to day care are less likely to develop leukaemia.  Don't ask me where they came up with this result or if it's true!  But I did read it.. :wink:

Oscar was horrible to put down tonight - it took well over an hour.  He had a long sleep today (amazingly) - from 3.20pm - 5pm (this was after a resettle so add 40 mins on to that).  I wonder if this is why he was so bad tonight?  Any thoughts........?

I'm still undecided about the sleep clinic - need to decide in the next couple of days.  We fly out on the 5th September, regardless.  We will either stay at the clinic OR at a nice holiday apartment and have a nice little break away!    He's just been sooooo happy lately, never whinges or cries (bar tonight) and is very sweet.  If he's happy, I'm not sure we should mess with that?  Hmmmm........I know you think I should go!  :?

The early wake ups - I thought it didn't matter what time they went to bed?  I'm sure I've read that it doesn't make any difference?  God knows I've read so many books though!

The desert - yeah, it is really but it's also a small town.  It's right in the middle of Australia - no water and the only river in town is actually always dry.  It gets extremely hot in Summer and the Winter is fairly mild.  I go through a ton of moisturiser otherwise I look like a lizard!  We are only here for DH's work.  Did I tell you I lived in Henley-on-Thames for a couple of years? 

xxx

I'm so glad you found the Prof. to be good - what a relief!

[Erin M]

If it makes you feel better, my nephew has never been a sleeper.  He just turned 2 and pretty much has stopped sleeping during the day and has probably never slept through the night more than a handful of times.  However (and here's the part to make you feel better) he's probably the sweetest, smartest, most good natured 2 year old I have ever met.  He knows all his letters, colors, shapes, makes and models of cars (he's obsessed!), some Spanish, can identify everyone's cars in the family, and is just a pleasure to be around.  His lack of sleeping has never bothered him - just my sister, who at this point just kind of goes with the flow.  Best of luck with whatever you decide to do!
-Erin

[chell]

Patronising! I don't think so....I'm a bit of a computer dunce  :oops:  So if I do control and the letter c together I should be able to save it?... Lets c (excuse the poor play on words )

Patronising! I don't think so....I'm a bit of a computer dunce  So if I do control and the letter c together I should be able to save it?... Lets c (excuse the poor play on words  ) 
  Oh I see, well I managed to do copy and paste, not sure about cntrl c though.


 Thanks about the leukaemia snippet.

WoW! what a nap. You may be right though, I don't know what time he went to bed, but I sometimes had difficulty with Jacob, if his last nap was a bit too close to bed time.

Yea you're right about the bedtime and wake up thing. I think the bit I read was about some one complaining that their baby went to bed at 6 and was annoyed because they woke at 5/5.30am. I think Tracy said they should count their blessings! rather than try to change it.

Naughty, naughty, stop trying to talk your way out of going to the sleep clinic :wink: ! Why not talk to them again about what happens? It's a shame there aren't any Baby Whisperers out your way who could come to the house and help you to sort it out there.

[oscar10405]

I've literally got a couple of days to decide!  Oscar was awful last night so that might have some influence!  DH would rather us go to the clinic because it won't cost anything (how typical is that?).  I think his big nap was too close to bedtime - we tried to put him down at 7.30 (he was still up for 2.5 hours and looked tired but didn't go down until 9ish....). 

In a bad mood today - DH is annoying me!  Has been for 3 days now - making nasty little comments.  Think he's feeling neglected in the old 'affection' department.  Too bad!  I can't help it if my hormones make me not interested in him!  :wink:

[Onewoman]

Hi ladies...good to read all your news  (well the good bits anyway...sorry you are still feeling unwell Cheryl and that Oscar has had a few bad nights).

How is Oscar generally doing at night now? Does he fall asleep on his own? If he can't get to sleep on his own the sleep clinic could help a lot.

About the naps. Well I hate to see dark circles under her eyes and after a few good nights it got worse again, so I decided to give a try to going up at 40 minutes and putting my hands on her and patting a little if she needed it (don't know why I didn't before!). I did it a few days for her morning nap and she started resettling herself and sleeping nearly 2hrs! This morning wasn't too good as I didn't go up, thinking she would go through, but she woke up (did manage to get her off again though). I should have known as we had visitors yesterday and she didn't eat or sleep very well and then had a bad night and was overtired, but at least I know now that if she is overtired I have to help her, otherwise she is ok doing it on her own. I think I will start doing the same for her afternoon nap too. It's a lot less stressful than pu/pd and seems to be working well.

Ruby gets up at about 6, but then she does go to bed at about 6.30. I have tried making both a bit later but it just messes her up more, so I have just accepted it. I refuse to get up before 6 though!!

I have the same problem regarding my "hormones". I'm just not interested. I read that breast feeding can affect your sex drive, but I think for me being tired is more to do with it. He gets all grumpy too....it's so annoying! I wish he would just sort himself out and stop pressuring me! Men!

[oscar10405]

Sorry Erin M - I didn't see your post!  :oops:   YES, that makes me feel better!  Oscar is also a lovely baby and, at present, doesn't seem too affected by his short sleeps either.  Your nephew sounds a delight!

Nice to know someone else feel the same way about sex!  I told DH about the breastmilk theory - he wasn't impressed, probably because I have many months to go of it!  :lol:

Oscar is not going to sleep on his own.  We are with him, patting or sometimes just a little back rub.  I KNOW - this is not the BW way.  DH and I know that it is recommended that he go to sleep on his own.  Just to confirm - is this really so important? (don't kill me!!).  I guess we would leave when he's calm but awake, yes?  It would mean another intensive week, wouldn't it?  I'm guessing this is what they would do at the sleep clinic too.  Wondering if we need them to do that with us as I'm more confident now we have overcome the biggest hurdle of getting him OUT of our arms for sleeps.

He has now learnt how to roll over (finally! just side to side, not back to tummy!) and thinks this is very cool.  So funny to watch him as it seems like he only really started yesterday but thinks he's a bit of a pro and does it really fast like he's been doing it for years.  BIG grins too - he's very proud of himself!

We've noticed he's started to pull his ears - is this a tired sign or something else?  We think it's a tired sign.....he doesn't appear to be distressed.

Susana - you must be so happy!  Well done with the 40 min nap improvement.  I'm envious!  Maybe we should give it another go, I only tried a few times but he would wake up fully and I'd have to do pu/pd anyway.  What a good little girl.....you must have been proud!

xx

[Onewoman]

Yes, the patting, rubbing is the BW way! Like you said just try to move away when their eyes start closing, and they are calm. I was thinking of an analogy, so I could explain it to DH better, and I think it's a lot like teaching a child to ride a bike! At first you are holding the bike firmly, then gradually you take one hand off, you may have to put it back on again lots of times, but you watch the child, and get a  sense of how much of it they are doing by themselves, until you can finally take your hands off completely. Then when they get back on the next day you might still have to hold the back of the bike again, but eventually they can do it on their own. I think the key is to be very observant and aware and try not to give anymore help than is required so they can become independent.

Sorry gotta go...will write more later.