Sooooo confused and depressed!

[chell]

Susana,  that is brilliant on the napping front!     
 I have some good napping news too - the nursery managed to get Jacob to do 1 hour 25 this morning! Which is a first.   

Jane, that is ok - to pat and rub his tummy or back in his cot. No problem there. Do you do this until he is asleep? Because I think this is also ok. I used to hold J until he  had closed his eyes, before popping him into the cot, then continued p/shh until he was asleep. In the end I just did it more lightly, just the pat, then just a hand on him and in the end he got it. It was a long process for us.

I still think you have achieved a great deal by getting him out of your arms.     and secretly thinking that your doing better than you give yourself credit for!  :wink:

[chell]

like tha analogy Susana!  :lol:

[oscar10405]

Well done to Jacob for his long nursery nap!    A bit of relief for you Cheryl! 

You'll be pleased to know that I've decided to go to the sleep clinic.  I realised this morning that a big part of me didn't want to go just so Mark and I could stay somewhere 'nice' and relax as we badly need a break.  I know this is selfish and could backfire.....what if Oscar becomes even more of a nightmare to put to sleep whilst we are away and we end up with a screaming baby and angry hotel neighbours!  Plus - I realised that if I don't go, the minute I have a particularly hard time with him, I will be filled with regret and always wonder if they could've helped us. 

He has been quite a grizzle-guts today and was HYSTERICAL when I tried to take him for a walk in the pram (had to come back home after 5 mins walking) so it makes my decision even easier!  He's having terrible naps too - I've done pu/pd all day it seems.

We leave on Monday - I'm nervous as I know there will be lots of tears and we could walk away with no improvement BUT it's the last resort for 'outside' help so at least I'll know I've explored those avenues. 

I may even lose weight as I doubt they cater for my finicky diet!  :wink:

[chell]

Oh dear, what a day for you Jane. My afternoon was not so good either. Jacob wwent down for his pm nap fine, but only did 45 mins. I nearly thought oh, I might just leave it today, then thought , no it is a great opportunity to get him into a routine of 2 1.5 hr naps. Anyway. I ended up doing pu/pd for 1/2h,nearly asleep, several times but just wouldn't go off. He was very annoyed,slamming his legs down on the matress. I've never seen him like this. I felt very bad. It was the same at bed time, but he was asleep in 20 mins, after pu/pd. I can only put it down to being developmental, adn just getting over an illness. He woke at 2.30 last night, but I strongly felt this was becoming a habit, after waking the previous couple of nights coughing. He wasn't really crying, so I left him and he did go back, thank goodness, cos I was very tempted to go into him! 

Oh, I am very finicky with my food too!! I still think it is psychological, from when my Mum used to try to get me to eat all of my food up!! Now I know what it is like!!  :lol: 

We are away tomorrow, back Sunday when we celebrate my Dads 70 th birthday by going up in a hot air balloon!! So I'll speak to you before you go away.

[juliecheeto]

I bought an expensive hammock too that DS won't use

[oscar10405]

The hammocks look so comfy!?  I also found it too hard to put him down in it when I tried to do pu/pd as it was quite an ordeal to get him in and out (lots of movement etc).  Other people swear by them...

I've had an awful night and day again.  I'm afraid to say that Oscar has taken a definite turn for the worse.....I have no idea why.  He has become extremely hard to settle - our 'wind down' doesn't wind him down anymore and the pu/pd is going on for a very long time (1-2 hours, with breaks).  He eventually goes to sleep because he can't physically keep his eyes open anymore.   :cry:   I'm depressed again, especially because I thought we were improving.  I used to be able to put him on his side and rub his back etc but now he flips over (gets ANGRY) and yells and screams at me with his arms and legs flailing everywhere.  I try to pick him up but he gets angry and rubs his face into my shoulder and squirms, so I put him down, and so it goes on....?  I end up just looking at him, feeling helpless, not knowing what to do?  If I touch him (it's hard to know where when he's on his back) on the forehead or something, it seems to get him more upset. 

I don't think he's in pain, he's clearly very, very tired and has red rimmed eyes again. 

Sorry to be such a downer again - I'm just so fed up and CONFUSED. 

Cheryl - I hope Jacob is better for you today.  Oscar slams his legs down all the time, he gets very angry.  Do you not get sick of doing pu/pd?  I do and I'm still new to it.

Won't it be freezing in a balloon at this time of year?  (it's very warm here, singlet and shorts weather...)

We are leaving on Saturday now....going to stay a couple of nights in a hotel - which I am now dreading because of Oscar's 'turn'.

xx

[oscar10405]

We're back!

I won't go into too much detail but the basic outcome is pretty good!

It all went soooo much easier than I thought, the midwives were amazing and kind and the other Mum's there were also fantastic.  It was a lovely little bonding week and I was actually sad to leave this morning! 

Oscar was a sweetie and responded really well.  There was no crying, other than about 2 minutes when he was being wrapped then a grizzle for about 5 minutes.  He did 3 sleeps a day, 2 were 1.5-2 hours and a shorter one in the evening!  The night wasn't fantastic but better than he has been (we got a 5 hour stretch one night!). 

We've been home for two naps and he's just gone down for the night.  He has been harder to put down now we are home (typical!!) but I am hoping (and praying) that it's because he's had a funny day - flying for two hours and missing a morning nap.  Fingers crossed.

What did we do?  I think the secret for Oscar was in the wrap.  We used big cot sheets and wrapped him up like a mummy.  We also put a sheet over his end of the cot (secured!) so it blocked out any visual stimuli.  They had these steel bassinets on wheels which were brilliant because you could push them back and forth really easily.  So...it was 2 hours up (no tired signs - just two hours up, two hours down (try for anyway, it's more like 1-2 hours down).  When his activity time was up, it was to the room, wrap, kiss goodnight and pop him in the bassinet.  Then I would sing a bit and rock the bassinet for a few minutes.  It was almost too good to be true!  A few times he put himself to sleep with no rocking.

Anyway - not feeling nearly as confident now we are home - it's very hard to mimic exactly what we had there (our wooden cot doesn't roll very well on carpet and is bulkier!) but hopefully it will be okay.

All in all - very glad we went.  I think we were doing too much with Oscar and that's why he was getting hysterical - we need to make bedtime a very quick wrap and pop in cot or he gets very angry!  A wind down is okay but he just gets upset if we drag it out too long! 

Don't worry - I am not getting too cocky - today was not as easy and I know that things can change!

Hope you have all had a nice week?

[chell]

wow! I am so pleased you've got it sorted...and what a relief.. no cio!! It sounded really similar to BW, except the rocking bit.

Jacob is going to see the dietician on monday. I tried him on lentils again yesterday, and he is still allergic...it's a real pig. I think I may try a different brand. I've still got this bug, even after a course of antibiotics, although it's no longer on my chest and not looking forward to work on Tuesday! We had a nice break though and have just celebrated my Brothers babys first birthday (Kamran). Didn't go up in the balloon - it was cancelled twice due to the weather.. one more chance then we get our money back.

gottago
xx

[oscar10405]

I wish we could've stayed there longer - I feel really isolated again now we are back.  And it wasn't long enough to get it all sorted.  He is still waking up quite a bit and needing to be resettled and I'm not sure what to do about the 4am wake up (not hungry etc).  It took an hour to get him back to sleep for only another hour's sleep!  No crying, he just didn't want to sleep.  Anyway, hopefully things will all become clearer one day!

Pity you didn't get to balloon?!  You must be used to the weather getting in the way of things (meaning in the UK).  It very rarely rains in this part of Australia.

I hope Jacob's reaction to lentils wasn't a severe one?  Must be frustrating for you!  Oscar starts solids in 1 month - I'm kinda nervous as it's something else that might go wrong!  Shouldn't be so negative hey?

x

[chell]

That is brill! Even though it took an hour... to get him to go down for an hour is fantastic. (Can you phone them for advice?) I think if you stick to it it will get easier. Just remember what things were like a couple of months ago.

 Yea, I think you're very brave living where you do. What does your DH do? ( work I mean). Jacobs reaction wasn't severe, just annoying, as lentils have a lot of good nutrition in them.

Our last date for the balloon ride is 15th Oct. It will be freezing then!!  :shock: must be mad! :shock:

xx

[oscar10405]

You are so positive!  I am always the negative poohead!   I know things are much better but I still feel we haven't got it sorted properly.  So you think in time things will improve?  I hope so.  He was up at 5.30am today - wouldn't go back to sleep.  Seemed weird putting him down for a nap at 7.30am!  (when I would rather be getting up thanks!).  He seems to be resisting the second stage of his nap (ie after the 40 mins) more than he was in Adelaide.  I don't understand it but I will persist, I have to!

You must be keen to get up in that balloon!  My DH is with the police. 

We have started to massage Oscar!  One of the midwives saw his big baby fat rolls and said "oh, i have to massage that bottom!".  I, of course, said that he doesn't really enjoy it but he made a liar out of me and lay on his tummy drooling and being very quiet while she did it.  I couldn't believe it!  So funny to see.....

Lentils are nutritious.....what about Tofu?  do you guys eat that ?  x

[chell]

I know it is a pain when they wake early, but I wouldn't worry too much about it. Sounds like Jacobs pattern, It will improve. Jacob slowly moved from 5.30 to 6.30. Still occasionally wakes @5.30, like today!! He too wants to go back 2 hours later, which I like at w/ends, so I can go back to bed for a little while. If I was at home during the week, I might work on it, but its not really possible. I tried wake to sleep yesterday, to extend his 2nd am nap, and couldn't believe it actually worked, even though he woke fully and needed a bit of p/sh, so he had the most naps he has ever had. Not sure if it was coincidence, so may try again today.

Yea he's ok with tofu, thank goodness, supposed to be seeind dietician today, but we all still feel rotten with this flu-y thing. Hope its not bird flu!! Haven't felt right for several weeks. Going back to GP today.
xx

ps, we have to go up in balloon or else we don't get our money back ( Imean give it 3 goes) :roll:

[oscar10405]

I hope it's nothing serious too?  It's not something yucky like glandular fever is it?

Today was not as good - the 5.30 wake up threw it all out?  I was in tears again (i'm a baby, i know) as it sucks that things go funny again now I don't have the support!  The '2 hours up, 2 hours down' only works well if they get up at 7am and actually have the 2 hours down!  It's bit like the 4-hour EASY not really working unless they have the long naps.  Eg: today he was up at 5.30, so was down at 7.30.  He slept for 1.5 hours so got up at 9am.  Down again at 11am, slept for two hours, up at 1pm.  Then came the nap at 3pm, which I suspected would be a shorter one.  Sure enough, after 45 mins he cried and I tried to re-settle but to no avail.  I got him up but he was still tired, very grizzly and unhappy.  So I tried to put him down again - but no way was he going down.  By 5pm I had given up and decided to put him to bed at 7pm.  So....he really had 3 hours up this time.  Sorry to go on but you seem to have good advice on this stuff!!  Am I expecting too much from him (5 mths) to go to bed around 7pm and wake at 7am?  (not without wake ups - I expect them and I feed him at 10pm, 3am).  If I followed the 2 up, 2 down thing I learnt, I would have put him down at 6pm and then up at 8pm?!!  Would he then be up till 10pm?!!  ARRGGHHHH. 

In answer to your question, 'no' I can't call the centre and get help.  I have a number to call which is a national parent line but they are just useless.  It's frustrating because Oscar did everything they wanted so I didn't have these questions at the time.

Blah blah, sorry - i do go on, I know.  :oops:

That sounds weird that you don't get your money back?  You can't control the weather!!?  Maybe England is not the place to book balloon rides (he he.... :wink:  )

xxx

[chell]

Want to reply, there's lots I want to know, but gotta have some grub! To me it sounds as though you've got it - with the techniques, but need to tweek and play about with the timing of things. Actually it sounds fantastic   ...you have to remember doing "the thing" and how awful it was in the begining. Speak soon

xxx

[oscar10405]

Only if you have time, thanks Cheryl.  After putting him to bed at 7pm, he woke at 8pm, 9pm (fed him), 1.30 (fed him), 4.30 (fed him), 5.30 and 6.30am.  Yucky night.  He fed really well too.  Maybe didn't feed so good during the day as my BF were off track and was feeding him about 30 mins in to the activity time.  If I don't catch him straight after a snooze, he feeds badly!  I know things are better but it's been going on for such a long time and i feel I still can't 'relax'  when I put him to bed, waiting for the next wake up when I have to resettle.