@jane, i'm definitely interested in hearing that.
i'll do a search on wake to sleep, then. and i will try putting in a pacifier at 40min, but since he doesn't normally use one, i'm not sure whether this will work. and maybe laying my hands on him before he works will also work, i'll try that this afternoon.
but that part in the post about your baby waking up and seeing you - that's exactly how it is with us. he wakes up and screams, and i go in to soothe him. he stops crying immediately when he sees me and wants to play and talk. i used to try pat/shush to calm him, but now he always turns his head to look at me and tries to grab me when i get close to shush in his ear. if i leave the room after he has stopped, he yells to bring me back - and if i don't come back, he yells more and eventually cries. it takes forever to get him back to sleep., and i'm worrying that we're creating some sort of pattern.
these 45-min naps will be the death of me. i just don't get it - he goes down so easily now that i can just put him in his crib, kiss him and walk away most of the time. so he definitely _can_ put himself back to sleep, but he doesn't.