Anyone have wind-down suggestions?

[thodder]

Hi,
Does anyone out there have any wind-down suggestions for a Spirited baby?  (and I mean Spirited with a Capital S).  Sitting doesn't work because he just arches his back and wants to get away.  Bath time doesn't work - he gets too excited.  Baby massage doesn't work - he likes it, but it doesn't make him ready for sleep.  And neither does reading (don't worry - I've given each of these a good try, and not all at once).  He's 3 months old now.  About the only things that seem to work are his swing and (if we're lucky) his stroller.  Anyone out there in a similar situation?  Any suggestions?

Theressa

[rebecca-isabella mum]

Hi there,

My DD is an 11 weeks old Spirited baby (capital S!!) She used to have such a hard time winding down. But now i make sure that the room is fairly dark and is absolutely silent so nothing can distract her. I also swaddle her really tight so she cant get her arms all over the place!! Its the only thing that works for us.

I used to think she hated it. But if I do it at the right time before she gets to excited or crying it works a treat & she loves it!

Try that- I know things dont work the same for everyone but its worth a go!

Rebecca  xx

Mummy to Isabella Grace 22.05.05 (spirited)

[Aarismom]

Yep, sounds exactly like mine.

What I've discovered is that if you create a short routine for naps, a longer routine for bedtime, and rarely stray from the routine you create, they learn that certain cues mean it's sleepy time. Mine works like this:

Naps:
Starting 10-20 mins before putting down, go into bedroom...
"tummy time" (very little talking, if there is, it's hushed) -->swaddle (arms out)-->rocking (5-10 mins, with her against my chest)-->singing (using the same 2 songs every time, still rocking)-->put down on cot drowsy-->a little patting before leaving the room.

The key there is as little stimulation and as much soothing as possible. If I'm lucky I get her down during that "window". If not, she usually fusses 5-10 minutes before finally going to sleep. If I don't get her down during that window, she needs to fuss a little with no further interfearance from me (I seem to make it worse) in order to get to sleep...not sure why, but it seems to work. Sometimes I think spirited babies honestly can't handle a lot of "help" from parents to get to sleep after they've learned how because it's too stimulating. However, I do check on her and sooth a little  if after 10-15 mins she's still struggling to get to sleep.

Bedtime:
Between 6 and 6:30:
Bath-->dressing-->massage-->swaddle-->bottle and storytime-->bed.
Bed between 6:30 and 7.

She doesn't always drink the whole bottle, but this is usually a clusterfeed anyway.

I also have found that tummy sleeping works all the time, because she can reach her thumb, and she can't see anything above her crib. If she's put in on her back, doesn't matter how tired she is, her eyes pop open and she wants to play. Maybe she'll take a nap, maybe she won't. She mastered head control, so I'm not as worried about SIDS.

Occasionally if she's having trouble sleeping, I use the swing until she's just about to fall asleep, then move her to the crib.

Hope this helps a little

*HUGS*
Sonya =P

[mum2isabella]

Rebecca - my dd's also called Isabella Grace, born on 17th April 2005 and most definitely a spirited baby.....This is a great thread as I am also looking for wind down tips. I agree about not hanging around too long whilst lo is settling down for the night. Isabella was just slamming her legs down on her bed and kept opening her eyes....until I left the room and now she has gone to sleep - at last!!!!

[rebecca-isabella mum]

mum2isabella

cool name hey!! :lol:

I seem to have a problem with her getting to sleep on her own though, I always have to rock her first in my arms. its only when see has to go to bed in the evening. for her naps shes fine and putting her back during the night too shes fine.

Any suggestions??

rebeccaxx

Mummy to Isabella Grace 22.05.05 (spirited)

[thodder]

I know all about the problem with getting them to put themselves to sleep initially.  My Joshua does the same thing - but right now I'm thinking it's not really that big of an issue.  Aside from the wind-down issues, once he's asleep he will stay there. I hear him in the middle of the night wake up, suck his thumb and go back to sleep.   I also hear him put himself back to sleep during naps - it's just the initial wind-down.  I believe a definition of a prop is if every time he wakes up he needs help going back down. 

I'll try some of the wind-down suggestions.  Funny thing is, I swear he adapts.  Every time I find one that works, he will take the wind-down for about 2 days, and then realizes that I'm getting him ready to sleep and won't take the wind-down routine anymore.  Odd eh?

Theressa

[CaedensMama]

I have really been working on "wind-down" and sleep routine w/ Caeden this week. So far - just about everytime he likes to be swaddled - knows it time to sleep and then he starts crying. He will cry anywhere from 2 minutes to 15-20 minutes - and then settle down usually w/ a paci and go to sleep. Then takes about 5-10 minutes to "get" to sleep. If I lay him down fully awake he also screams and so far has never settled down - I haven't let him go too long, so he has been getting mostly to completely asleep in my arms, rocking or walking and then going down.
Am I missing something here - I would love for him to go to slewp w/o crying so much! I don't know that I have hit his window everytime, but it is close. And he does it all time. He is up about an hour between naps, some times closer to an hour and a half if he just had a good nap and closer to an hour if he had a bad one!
Sorry for the long explanation - but I feel like maybe we aren't "winding down" good or something - any hints or tips ?

[Aarismom]

Personally, I think your winding down routine is just fine. Mine does the exact same thing. I've learned that if you don't hit the window right on, there WILL be crying or fussing. There's nothing you can really do to stop that except help to sooth the child with pat/shh and/or PU/PD if it doesn't further frustrate/stimulate the child, and that may not even help, or it helps to a certain extent. The crying breaks my heart every time. But I also know that my lo WILL go to sleep within 10-15 mins. unless she's overtired to begin with, then it's a battle. When she wakes, she's smiling and cooing, well rested, and very observant of her environment. I know I'm doing ok when she looks up at me in the middle of a feeding and gives me this great big gummy grin smile!

My suggestion is just let them protest for a few minutes (meaning 5-15 minutes) and see if they go to sleep on their own. Pat/shh if you find it helps them. I think it's part of being a baby...remember they have NO other way to self sooth themselves without a prop, unlike (most) adults and older children who have learned other ways over time. Crying is their only way of dealing with it.

*HUGS*
Sonya =P

[thodder]

Hi,

My husband and I have come up with a game plan that seemed to work pretty well this past time.  I know the missing link in Joshua going to sleep in the wind-down, mainly because he will go to sleep without crying in the stroller and the swing, because he's had a chance to prepare himself for sleep.  He will also put himself back to sleep if he wakes up, because he's already wound-down.  Here's the new plan:

When the sleep window opens, we'll swaddle him (he's like Houdini though, and gets out of every swaddle we've ever done).  Next, put him in his crib (he winds down better when we AREN'T holding him).  Talk to him, stroke his chest etc...  Let him get through the "I'm tired" complaint cries and then we can pick him up and help him through the rest.  We did that this time around and he was REALLY easy to put down - 5 minutes and he was out.  I'll keep you posted on how we make out.

[cwolff]

Where is my window?  I have a Spirited baby too, and whether I put her down at her first yawn or keep her up, it is always a battle to get her to sleep.  She's very easily stimulated, and that darker the room, the better it seems to be, but she kicks her legs out, and thrashes about (fully swaddled mind you) in my arms until I put her down.  Then it's spit the paci out, fuss and kick and cry a little and pick back up.  We do this several times before it seems like she tires herself out.  How do you know when your window is?  Because I must just be missing it completely if there's this much trouble getting dd to sleep.  Also, with the routine, have any of you introduced a lovie?  I'm hoping she'll bond with a blankie and will be easier to wean from the paci, or at least make it easier to put her down.

[thodder]

I'm afraid I can't tell you where your window is, but likely at that first yawn is a good start (provide she's been up for more than 10 minutes and it isn't just a wake up yawn).  I find my Joshua gets really still at first, even before the first yawn.  It all depends on the baby.  It took some trial and error on our part - Joshua was doing the exact same thing your little one is, and it was REALLY hard to figure out just when his window was opening (like most Spirited babies, they don't tend to show emotions etc.. very well).

But I think we finally came across a wind-down routine that's been working!!!!!  He gets really flustered if we try to wind him down in our arms (rocking, sush/pat etc...).  Here's what's been happening:

1) I use the SAME CD every time and turn it on nice and low.  We use Kenny Loggins, "Return to Pooh Corner".  It's put me to sleep more than once.  :-) 
2) I put him in his crib while he's in that nice calm state and turn on the mobile for him to look at, with the CD on (I can turn the music off on the mobile).  He calms down completely. 
3) Once he's all calm, I pick him up, and he curls up and goes right to sleep (I am dealing with one problem at a time here - getting him to fall asleep on his own will wait until he learns that falling asleep is a nice thing - he can put himself back to sleep, so that's the main thing). 

It used to be about 20 minutes of what my husband and I refered to as "The Circus".  Screaming, hitting, crying etc...  HORRIBLE!  I was in tears more than once wondering how I was ever going to manage.  But this new routine seems to work wonders, provided I hit the sleep window.  If I miss it, I'm in for "The Circus" again.

Hope that helps.

Theressa