Author Topic: Frustrated with naps-- multiple questions (long...)  (Read 2178 times)

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Offline Jamom

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Frustrated with naps-- multiple questions (long...)
« on: August 08, 2005, 00:53:44 am »
Ok, I have multiple questions as I have become very frustrated and perhaps confused too this week.  Two weeks ago, when my lo was 12 weeks old, I stopped doing pat/shh and tried just laying him in his crib.  He did some mantra crying and fussing and fell asleep.  As the week went on, he seemed to get better, doing less of the mantra crying and falling asleep and naps were going OK.  We would still have 45 minute naps but I would generally get a good morning nap out of him to start the day off.  Well, then he got sick, and it all went downhill.  Toward the middle of last week, things looked better again and in fact, one day, we had the "perfect" day, little or no fussing, and no 45 minute naps.  Since then, the last 3 days have been horrible.  He seems to be doing more and more mantra crying and generally cannot make it past 30 minutes and some times makes it to the 45 minute mark.  I tried extending his awake time-- but then it seems he is too overtired to self-soothe.  I tried doing exactly what I did on the "perfect day", and of course, that didn't work either.  I am wondering if I have done something to make his self-soothing worse and what I can do to lengthen these naps.  We generally follow the 3-hour easy plan and his awake time varies from 1 hour to 1 1/2 hours.  I get him to bed on the first yawn and do about a 5 minute wind-down routine where we listen to a lullaby and I tell him a story while he stares at the dim light (we have a dimmer).  I thought we were making progress and now I am getting concerned.  Most of my concern stems from the fact that I go back to work in a few weeks and I was hoping that he would be able to self-soothe because i don't know if the daycare provider is going to have the time to be able to do a whole wind-down routine.  It seems like his naps are getting shorter and shorter. 

Sorry this is so long, but I am getting frustrated since I know he can self-soothe.  He sleeps through the night. 

Today, much like the prior 2 days, DS took 3 45 minute naps.  I let him lay in his crib after he woke at the 45-minute mark and he fussed.  He put himself back to sleep only 1 time and that was after 35 minutes of fussing.  Then for what is supposed to be his catnap before bed, he made it past the 45 minute mark!  This is the 3rd day in a row that this pattern has occurred and I don't want it to become a habit for him.  So, here are my questions:

1.  Should I be laying him down when he is more drowsy?  Right now, I lay him down and he is usually pretty wide awake (although I know he is tired because he is yawning and showing other signs).

2.  Should I go back to doing pat/shh to see if that helps to soothe him easier than letting him do the mantra crying and letting him get himself to sleep?  I am concerned that the mantra crying is getting him worked up and that may be why he has the short naps?

3.  If I do try to extend the awake time, now that he is 14 weeks old, how do I make sure that he is not too overtired so that he cannot self-soothe-- e.g., how do I strike that balance?

4.  Will it eventually help to extend his naps when I have him lay there after the 45 minutes and let him fuss and/or play instead of taking him out of the room?  (BTW:  PU/PD really doesn't apply because he doesn't go into a "real" cry).


Thanks for any suggestions.  I would like to get this licked at least a little bit before daycare starts so that I don't always have an overtired baby to come home to. 

Erin
Erin

Mom to Jacob 05/02/05 and Sophia 8/12/07

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Frustrated with naps-- multiple questions (long...)
« Reply #1 on: August 08, 2005, 02:59:25 am »
Hi

I think you need to make some changes in his daily routine.

From my experience (and we have lots as my LO is a reformed 45min several times over, she does them EVERY time she is ready to increase awake time) w/ the 45min naps I think you need to extend his awake time. 

What I suspect is happening, is that he is catnapping because of the brief awake time.. it's like "I've only been awake for a short time, so I just need a short amount of sleep". This creates the 45 min nap. My LO was almost exactly the same age when she started this, she slept 1.5-2.0 every time before this.

If he starts to look sleepy after an hour (hour ½), try to push his awake time a little longer by 15 min. increments.  Take him out for a little walk.. but not in his stroller if he's a stroller sleeper. Give him a little carry around the neighbourhood or front/back yard.

To answer your specific questions:

1. Should I be laying him down when he is more drowsy? Right now, I lay him down and he is usually pretty wide awake (although I know he is tired because he is yawning and showing other signs).
Yes, I would lay him down a bit more drowsy.  When he is a bit older you will want to lay him down pretty awake.

2. Should I go back to doing pat/shh to see if that helps to soothe him easier than letting him do the mantra crying and letting him get himself to sleep? I am concerned that the mantra crying is getting him worked up and that may be why he has the short naps?
I don’t think the mantra cry is related to the short naps, but I would do shh/pat to get him back to sleep when he wakes at the 45min mark if he is crying and not playing.  Laying him down a bit more drowsy (but awake) should help also.

3. If I do try to extend the awake time, now that he is 14 weeks old, how do I make sure that he is not too overtired so that he cannot self-soothe-- e.g., how do I strike that balance?
He will be tired at first, so for the extra time – keep that activity low key.  That will help from him getting overtired.  You could even do the extra time as part of the wind down or in his darkened room.

4. Will it eventually help to extend his naps when I have him lay there after the 45 minutes and let him fuss and/or play instead of taking him out of the room? (BTW: PU/PD really doesn't apply because he doesn't go into a "real" cry).
If he doesn’t go into the real cry, then definitely let him fuss or play.  That will really him learn to self soothe and he may go back to sleep.

Hope this helps.  Hang in there.  A few days of extending A time and you should see a difference.

Offline Jamom

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Frustrated with naps-- multiple questions (long...)
« Reply #2 on: August 08, 2005, 03:39:19 am »
Thanks. I'll try it and see if we can get over these awful 30-45 minute naps.  Keep your fingers crossed.....
Erin

Mom to Jacob 05/02/05 and Sophia 8/12/07

Offline Jamom

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Frustrated with naps-- multiple questions (long...)
« Reply #3 on: August 13, 2005, 14:47:59 pm »
Ok, we have almost done a week of gradually extending awake time and we are still battling 30 minute naps.  This morning, he was awake for one hour and 45 minutes to 2 hours (depending on when you start saying he is napping) before going to bed and still woke at the 30 minute mark.   He woke at 7 pm at 8:25 he had his first ywan, so I started the wind down, layed him in his crib around 8:40 and he babbled himself to sleep at about 9:05.  (The babbling is an improvement from the mantra crying).  He has been able to stay awake longer before a nap in the morning but it is much harder to extend the afternoon time because he has had so little sleep because of these darned 30 minute naps.   :evil:   Also, we are only swaddling his lower half as he likes to suck on both hands.  In the past few days, however, he has been getting out of that completely.


This morning, I stood in his room to see what was happening at 30 minutes and he just jolts awake -- eyes open wide.  He then stirred for awhile and is still in there awake -- not crying -- just awake.   Is it time to try wake to sleep again (in the past this really hadn't worked since he is a wee bit touchy)?  Or should I still give it some time for his new "routine" to set in?  I really can't extend his naps with pu/pd because he doesn't really cry when he wakes up.  If he does that at all, it is only for a minute or two and then he is back to babbling.  Once in a great while, he will babble himself back to sleep.  To date, I have been leaving him in his crib to see what he does and to keep the set time as "nap time" (or in this case quiet time).


Thanks for any help.  I'm just hoping that it will click here some day but am wondering if he is in such a habit of taking 30 minute naps that we are just in trouble now.
Erin

Mom to Jacob 05/02/05 and Sophia 8/12/07

Offline Jamom

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Frustrated with naps-- multiple questions (long...)
« Reply #4 on: August 19, 2005, 14:30:33 pm »
Finally, my DS is napping!  :D  Not one 30 or 45 minute nap in the last 5 days.

I thought that I would post what worked for us to give others who are battling those pesky 30-40 minute naps some ideas.  Here's what worked for us:

1.  Extended awake time.  I found that I really had to go to clock watching instead of signal watching while making the transition from the 3 hour to 4 hour routine.  Tracy mentions that you should watch the clock in her new book when she gives instructions for transitioning from a 3-4 hour routine.  I had previously been watching his cues and rushing him to bed on the first yawn, which is what you would normally do.  But during the time that I was making the transition, I really watched the clock and I worked hard to keep him awake.  This frequently meant not bringing him to bed on the first yawn.   Believe me, I never thought that I would say that I had to work hard to keep him awake since he is one of those babies who seemed to just keep going and going.  When I first started the transition, he was still doing 30-40 minute naps.  I really saw a change the first time that I made him stay awake until the next nap time as indicated in the book.  That is, even though he only took a 30 minute nap and I tried to extend it with no luck, I made him stay awake until the next nap time.  (Let me tell ya' this was not fun or easy!!) Tracy's new book gives an example story of how to make the transition and I read and reread that many times to help me out.

2.  Went into his room 20-30 minutes before I wanted the nap to begin.    For his 9 am nap, I bring him to the room at 8:30 or 8:40.  We read books, do some floor time while listening to lullabies, and then I swaddle him and place him in the crib about 15-20 minutes before the nap time should begin.  This helped to extend his awake time without him becoming too overtired. 

3.  Swaddling.  I went back to swaddling.  And swaddling tightly so he couldn't get out.  I thought that because he needed his hands to self-soothe that I should stop swaddling.  I had been swaddling him with one hand out and finding that he could get both of his hands out before he fell asleep.  So, I got out the old swaddle blankets with velcro (even though he is kinda' outgrowing them, but no worries, I ordered a larger size after discovering that he needs them).   Now, I leave one hand out, and he can't get the other one out.  I think that when he was able to get two hands out that it was too much for him and was waking him up at the jolts.

Just so you know, it took a few days of watching the clock before he slipped into taking good naps. 

I hope this helps others. 

Thank's so much Michelle (Meg's Mom) for all of your help!!!   :)
Erin

Mom to Jacob 05/02/05 and Sophia 8/12/07

Offline Meg's Mom

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Frustrated with naps-- multiple questions (long...)
« Reply #5 on: August 19, 2005, 15:10:46 pm »
Erin

You are soo welcome!  I am glad to hear you are now part of the "reformed 45min nap club"  :wink:

PS: I am starting a thread w/ problems and solutions, w/ success stories for others who fight the 45min nap...can i use yours?

Offline Jamom

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Frustrated with naps-- multiple questions (long...)
« Reply #6 on: August 19, 2005, 16:19:32 pm »
Sure!  :D
Erin

Mom to Jacob 05/02/05 and Sophia 8/12/07

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Frustrated with naps-- multiple questions (long...)
« Reply #7 on: August 19, 2005, 16:36:37 pm »
When are you supposed to switch to 4-hour EASY?  My 12 week old is doing the same 45 minute nap thing and I wonder if her awake time needs to be extended.
Abigail born May 26, 2005

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Frustrated with naps-- multiple questions (long...)
« Reply #8 on: August 19, 2005, 18:20:54 pm »
Tracy recommends to switch at 4mos. 

Can you post your schedule so we can see what your day looks like?  Also how long have has your LO been doing the 45min nap?