Jan/Feb 05 Babies chat!

[julieb]

Vidya: Thanks!  Asher is a good combination of me & DH.  Most think he looks like me at first glance because he has my hair and complextion (my hair is dyed though!  :lol: ), but after seeing DH, they think he looks a lot like him as well -- especially his eyes since DH is part Japenese.  I'll post a photo of us when Asher was 8 weeks.
I have the same problem with my family and all my reading!  They think I made Asher into a high needs baby because of all my knowledge.  What they don't realize is that he's SOOO much better than he would be if I didn't have BW!  BW helped me understand and accept him so I could parent him better.  I've been on other forums of high needs children and there are SO many struggling parents because they haven't found a means to cope with their high needs child.  Or worse yet, they resort to CIO methods.  I've run into a few who let their LOs CIO for 1.5-2 hours and it still didn't work!   
What three languages will you teach Diya when you say she will be trilingual (I assume English, Hindi, and ?)?

Branwen: Asher does fairly well with the tipping, but he doesn't drink enough to get to the end and REALLY need to tip it.  I end up filling it at least half way so he doesn't have to work as hard.  We would let him struggle a bit, suck air, and then say "Tip it back" and tip the bottom with our finger while he was still holding it.  We used lots of praise as well.  I have two platex cups I use the most now, but they were harder for him in the beginning and I used this soft top cup from Wal-Mart that doesnt have those little rubber inserts (milk can go directly into the spout easier while just tipping a little).  Here's a video link to Asher with the soft top sippy cup in the beginning days... http://jusspress.com/day.php?userid=7422&currentDate=20050725&currentTime=175358

Christine:  Sorry about the cold for poor Leah!  You could try a humidifier to try to keep her nose draining.  Suction it when she seems uncomfortable, especially before naps, even though she'll have a cow.  Use saline spray to help loosen the mucus a few mintues before.  And make sure she gets as much rest as possible (I'd let her sleep whenever it seems she's tired).  Good luck!

[HeatherC]

I have an Avent sippy cup that I think Kelsey will really like, but I can't get her to hold the handles.  And when she does, she doesn't really bring it to her mouth or drops it when I try to help.  She doesn't show interest in holding her bottle either.  Any suggestions?
Cute pics, JulieB.

[herbst99]

difficult and prob uncomfortable for her to turn her head to the left.

You could probably start "encouraging" her to turn her head to the left by positioning her cot so that when you come in the doorway she has to turn her head LEFT to be able to see you. Also encourage play where your sit on her left and hand objects from the left. (you have to be carefull that she doesn't cheat by turning her shoulders or body but turns her head - so probably involve alot of visuals!! I am sure the PT would give great recommendations - you might consider asking for an OT consult to to maybe give some more "play directed" exercises!!

FIL could participate in the bedtime routine

I have had them over but they get so excited!!! and then don't leave when I start massage and the REAL winddown (which now is much longer with my spirited girl!!) I then feel like an terrible person asking them to leave while I finish with her - you see they see visits as playtime!! and don't realize how her temperament is influenced by HOW whe play. but I have decided to go with the flow (difficult for my Type A personlity!!) and we are going away with them in 2 weekends. 

I will look on the products page for recommendations on cups - I just don't even read anything else as it seems all the "experts" are right here!!!
Goodnight all

[Deb_in_oz]

hi all - what a growth spurt we are having!!

after taking the 42 oz yesterday she woke at 220am crying desperate again and took another 190 ml / 7 oz (i had only prepared 200 thinking that would be enough) and then she was up at 6:25am ravenous again and took another 210 ml / 7 1/2 oz

she has just woken from 45 min sleep and is calling out to me - urg! i plan on giving her solids twice today and will probably be on a 3 hr bottle schedule!!!

CHristine - sorry to hear about the cold - that is what we are like much of the time with the nose suctioning.  actually kjust thinking about it now - it seems to be less this week - maybe the other formula was the problem and we will start seeing improvements now  :?

for the sippy cups - i swear by Tommee Tippee ones - will find out if they are available in the states and post a link. i am going out today to get Liv one because i don't think alex will part with her 2.  they barely leak unless she shakes them upside down, but are easy to suck. i have a collection of rejects in the cupboard  - these are fab!!

Deborah - sorry everything is so hard - i can really relate after what we went through about Liv's eating issues. i hope the PT helps.

have to dash - the eating machine is getting really iritated that i am not getting her up  :lol:

[HeatherC]

Well, I've taken your advice the past 2 nights and moved Kelsey's last bottle to 7 pm.  I'm still leary about putting her down too soon because of her full tummy and it hurting her.  Last night I put her down at 7:45, but tonight it was 7:30 and she was almost snoring she was sooo tired.  I really miss the catnap now, because even with moving the last bottle and bedtime up, she is so cranky after 6 pm.  Tonight I put her in the tub just to let her play, but that only took up 25 minutes, and it's too hot and humid to go outside until after 8 pm.  But answer me this.  How come she will not go down at 6 to sleep, but will gladly fall asleep at 7:30?  Does she know that there is more food to be had or is her body on a 12 hour or so cycle that makes her aware of when bedtime is?  I'm so very curious about this.  If I were to get her to nap around 6, she'd wake up after 30 minutes.  But for bedtime, she won't make a peep, and most of the time I can put her down awake and she turns her head and goes to sleep.  I think Christine feels me on this.  :wink:
Urr, where's my manual :?:
Also, I tried a #2 Avent nipple once today.  I think there was more running down her throat onto her bib than got into her mouth.  So I guess the #1 slightly enlarged is better for her.  Interesting; the recommendations don't fit all babies.  :wink:

[Deb_in_oz]

here is the link to a US site selling tommee tippee and at a fraction of the price we pay here!! unfortunately (or fortunately  - if they are good) they have redesigned the cup - not launched here yet - i might buy 2 of the ones i have already (the second link) since they have a fold down spout.

http://www.bestbabygear.com/totititicup.html

the ones i have
http://www.tommeetippee.com.au/p-feeding.asp?pk=1

i had not realised they had the "original" first sippy cup but it makes sense since their stuff is so good.

[herbst99]

heather

How come she will not go down at 6 to sleep, but will gladly fall asleep at 7:30? Does she know that there is more food to be had or is her body on a 12 hour or so cycle that makes her aware of when bedtime is? I'm so very curious about this

With Lise I find the same thing - what I think happens at bedtime is that we have a much better "routine" than we do for nap times - so she knows what is coming - and has time to really wind down!. At 6:30 we go to her room - turn on her sleeptime music - close the curtains - go for bath - massage - bottle - bed (she does not fall asleep during this bottle anymore) and then to bed awake. We have no problems!!
Going down for naps we now do everything the same except for bath-massage and bottle!! Someone recommended you do a "mock" diaper change and put in the paci and then to bed??? Have not tried this yet!

I'm still leary about putting her down too soon because of her full tummy and it hurting her

Lise has reflux and goes down with full tummy and all and no problems ... I read somewhere that they don't swallow as much air at their last bottle and DF because they are so relaxed? Anyway - all kids are different!

[branwen]

Heather- I have read that babies are very sensitive to the setting of their bio-clocks.  They get into a routine and will actually begin to feel tired at the times they are "supposed to" be.  It took a few nights to get Eirwen comfortable and accepting of her 5:30 bedtime, but now at 5pm she starts yawning and whining because she knows it is time for bed.  What worked for us is the expectation of what comes next, as she just ate at 3:30 or 4, she will still eat vigorously before bed because it is the routine.  It might take Kelsey a little time to settle into the earlier sleep but if she is anything like Eirwen with this eventually she will be so much happier in the evenings because of it.  Eirwen never liked the cat nap much and would always wake unhappy and we would go right into the bedtime routine.  I think she is much happier just doing it all at once and not having to be woken up again.   

Will she spit it up if she goes to sleep right after eating?  Is her reflux still a problem or have you seen improvements with age?  She might be ready now that she is older?

How is dh with feeding?  I have noticed that when I try to help Eirwen with stuff she will pull back and let mommy do it for her!  But with my dh she is all about doing it herself.  I think it might be because she is so used to me doing everything for her and daddy gives her a little more time to figure things out?  So I'm letting him give the cups/bottles most of the time and she will totally grab onto both...I'm not sure I understand this behavior completely but it seems to be helping her figure stuff like that out. 

JulieB- I am so going to try your sippy suggestions- maybe Eirwen just needs more encouragement!? 

Deb- does that sippy cup have a hard or soft spout?  I am still looking for one with a softer top.  Wow- a double growth spurt then!   :shock: I am jealous of your ability to measure oz's :wink: I think she's just trying to catch up with her big sister :wink:  Speaking of, I'm curious as to how they are together?

Deborah- hang in there- more ((hugs)) Keep us posted on everything.  I tried to see what you're talking about from the pics but I totally can't tell!  I did see those absolutely stunning lashes that touch her eyebrows though!  If it makes you feel a tiny bit better Eirwen will probably have to do PT too because she is 7 months on Monday and not rolling in either direction or putting weight on her legs.  It kills me because she is so not one of those babies in the car all the time, etc.  She's always up and about...but that was the deadline my ped gave me to bring her back for a check if she wasn't doing that stuff

US- teething day again- massive crying and short naps.  motrin is our friend   and lots of cuddles and mama distracting baby with jumping jacks saying "hubbada-hubada" so she laughs!

[julieb]

Tried bananas this morning and got the same ick face we got with the pears last week.   :lol:   I'm sure after a few days he'll start to love them as he did the pears.  We'll try again tomorrow!

I've been doing wake-to-sleep for about two weeks now.  I go in at 5:20 (his habitual waking is typically 6:20).  The last two nights, I've heard him wake at 5:16, so I didn't go in.  And what do you know?  He woke at 6:20 the last two mornings and hasn't gone back to sleep.   :x   Why is it that when I wake him, he'll sleep in a bit longer, but when he wakes himself, he won't sleep in?  I'm not sure if I should move the wake-to-sleep time up or back 20 min.   :?

I got an invitation for a weekend getaway celebration for one of my friend's birthday.  It's at the end of Sept when Asher will be 8 months.  I told DH I'd like to go and his eyes got wide  :shock:  and he mumbled "okay."   :lol:   He's never spent an entire DAY alone with Asher, let alone an entire WEEKEND.  I told him our mothers would gladly come over and help, but he'd be on his own for the night wakings.  Asher would be on three meals of solids by then.  Can I realistically expect him to sleep through the night by then?  My real concern is breastfeeding.  Do you think I'd risk accidentally weaning him by going three days without nursing?  I can pump, but my fear is he'll prefer the bottle by the end of it.  I've heard of babies trying to wean around 10 months, but I wonder what the risk is for 8 months.

[thitz]

I need help!    I don't know what to do with Emily's routine.  She's really cranky starting at 1:30pm and exhausted by 5:00 now and I have to work really hard to get her to stay up till 5:30pm.  And she's waking piles of times at night.  (I guess our two good nights were just cause of the shots).  Do you guys have any suggestions?  Here's what we've been doing the past 2 weeks. 

6:45 Eat, 1 oz solids & 6.5 oz bottle
8:30 Nap 1 (1.5-2 hours usually don't have any problems with this nap)
10:30 5 oz bottle (not usually very hungry here)
12:15 Nap 2 (1 hr max)
2:00 Eat, 1oz solids & 6.5 oz bottle
3:30 Nap 3 (45 mins max)
5:00 Eat, 1 oz solids & 4-6 oz bottle (sometimes won't eat cause too cranky)
5:45 Bed
8:15 DF 7 oz (I give it any time after 8:00, cause she wakes up crying hungry)
Wakes at least 5 times a night.

I used to be able to get a 2 hour nap from her in the afternoon but I've done pu/pd and pt/sh for 3 days now to see no improvement on the second nap.  Today she slept for 45 and then just gurgled and played with her feet for 45 mins. 

Help please.  Tarri

[branwen]

Hi Tarri- so sorry this is happening! 5 times a night!  I honestly cannot imagine.  Eirwen woke last night but that is only because dh's stupid (single) friend decided he needed to talk at 11pm.

I want to help but first I have questions- what are the times she wakes at night?  Regular, sporatic?  Do you do PUPD at night?  What is your method?  Do you feed at night after the df?  I noticed that your day bottles are less oz's than your df bottle- have you tried increasing the day bottles at all- say to 7-8 oz and then cutting back the dream feed? 

You're also sooo close to the 4 hrs, if she wasn't hungry at 10:30 I would do the 11 and see how it goes.  I notice, like us, you still have 3 day naps.  Eirwen's morning naps have gone to 1 hr each instead of the usual longer ones.  I am pretty much certain she is trying to consolidate them into one nap but isn't quite sure how to do this without my help :? I'm also at a loss but am trying to extend her awake time so this happens, so far no luck...maybe Emily is trying to do this too?

Oh, Eirwen has always been fussing after 1pm too.  Emily is touchy yes?  I felt Tracy's temperament analysis was right on with the fact that afternoon's for touchy babies are bad.  Eirwen totally matches this and this is when we usually do our most "distracting" acitivites so she is occupied and less grumbly.  When we stay at home it is fuss fuss fuss for the afternoon until her long nap and then fuss until bed. :roll:

[Leah's Mom]

I felt Tracy's temperament analysis was right on with the fact that afternoon's for touchy babies are bad. 

I agree that Tracy has it right. Leah is a very spirited baby and her books say that spirited ones will resist morning naps, but will end up with a longer afternoon nap. We usually get 45 minutes in the morning, then a good 2 hour nap in the afternoon. Tracy really knows her stuff! 

As for the night wakings Tarri, I can't help becuase I am in the same boat!  We've had a cold here though, so I am assuming the stuffed up nose is why we have had so many wakings the past two nights. I hope this hasn't become a habit! Don't worry, you're not alone. What does Emily do when she wakes up? Leah usually just needs me to give her the paci - definitley need to get rid of that!

Thanks all for the expert advice with the cold. We have been suctioning, have the humidifier running and are trying to prop up her head tonight. Hope we have a better night tonight than they last few.  :roll:

I told DH I'd like to go and his eyes got wide  and he mumbled "okay."  He's never spent an entire DAY alone with Asher, let alone an entire WEEKEND.

Ah, same here! You should definitley go!!!! I would kill for a weekend away, but I know how much you'll miss him. Can't help with the BF issue, Leah is FF. Way cute pictures lately! Your DH is very handsome! And so is Asher. Love the bannanas pic. Give it time, bannanas are Leah's fav food!

But for bedtime, she won't make a peep, and most of the time I can put her down awake and she turns her head and goes to sleep. I think Christine feels me on this. 

       Although not lately with the cold and teeth.... :?

Urr, where's my manual  :?: 

If you find one, send it my way! I have all the parenting books ever printed, but it always seems like you can never find the answer!

Deb - I hope Olivia's growth spurt is over, for your sake! I don't know, Olivia is sounding more and more textbook to me lately!  :wink:

[Deb_in_oz]

Well - the growth spurt continues!! yesterday she took 43 oz + 2 solid meals (cereal and pears) but at least she made it to DF and slept through the night until she woke starving at 6:50am.  today she is barely holding a 3 hour EASY and it is strange b/c with a longer awake time a 3 hr EASY then means she has a 45 mn nap and is then too hungry to go through a second sleep cycle. i hope it ends soon though as it is exhausting during the day - since she is sleeping less and has shorter cycles it means we are back to doing a back-to-back schedule with the girls - i literally get Olivia up and then Alex goes down for her 1 nap, then when she gets up O. is back in the cot... absolutely no "Y" time -  i went 2 1/2 days without a shower  :oops:  again.

Branwen - the cup has a hard spout but is an easy "suck" - i found some of the soft spout ones require some serious sucking to get anything out of them...

don't be jealous of measuring how much they drink - i used to think that too - ignorance can be bliss sometimes.  it was the stress of knowing how much she "should" take that lead us into the bottle battles and force feeding - i wish now that i never knew what we were to "aim for".

The girls are great together - it helps that they both have "angel" temperaments (i keep meaning to update Liv's to read Spirited/ Angel/Textbook) - they are both very happy spirits so their is a lot of giggling and laughter in the house.  they will play together in Liv's cot if i put up the mobile, the activity center and a few soft toys. i can sit in the rocking chair and supervise for 10 min untiul alex asks to get out or starts jumping too much - olivia finds it hysterical that A. is jumping in her bed!!!

Julie b - i say go for it - and let Dh take care of Asher - i would suggest a couple of practice days where you head out in the morning and return for dinner time. I do think you would be running the risk of weaning - but that is up to you. if you were to return to a resistent feeder you could just keep encouraging him to feed and hope for the best  :?

Tarri - I am going to think about your situation when I have some time tonight to think - i am writing this during Olilvia's feed break quickly and need to get back to her.  will definitely comment this evening.

Christine - i do think Olivia is changing her temperament more and more to angel/textbook - i think she will always be spirited in the sense that she does not want to nap much but she goes down easily if we put her down in time, she is a very happy and easy personality, is sitting and eating according to textbook, etc  That is why is always wrote "spirited so far" as i htough most of our "problems" were more situational rather than temperament!

will write more later especially to Tarri.

[Deb_in_oz]

ok Tarri - i have thought about it a little and i only have 2 possibilities and i am not sure if you want to try them

First choice that i woudl probably do: if Emily is going to cut back on her afternoon sleeps i woudl suggest that you wake her from her first nap at 1hr 30 no matter what.  steal a half hour from there and hope it lands at her 2nd nap (3rd if necessary). 

Second option which you might have already tried but i can't go back through old posts right now: play around with her awake time a little. see if putting her down for 2nd nap 10 min earlier or later impacts on the length

also - when you say nap #3 is 45 min max is that her doing or are you waking her after 45 min thinking she won't sleep for bed if she has a big last nap?  i ask because often if Liv has not had good naps her 3rd one is her big one and she can easily sleep 1  1/2 hrs then to catch up.  i just make sure she is up by 5:30 so she will go down between 7-7:30.

i hope some of that helps and that she sleeps better. i figure she is waking at night because she goes down overtired - Liv always sleeps worse when she has skipped her catnap.

[Deb_in_oz]

Deborah - did you see this post - this woman in LA is going through the same thing with her dd.  you shoudl PM her and chat if it will help to speak to someone in the same boat.

http://www.babywhisperer.com/forum/everybody-listen-up-re-tummy-time-amp-torticollis-vt39309.html?highlight=