Jan/Feb 05 Babies chat!

[Jaime]

hi ladies... seems like i've been AWOL for quite awhile now.... work has just been insane & i'm only starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

we're doing well.  luke's tooth seems to have decided to wait.  wish the darn thing would just break through, but at least it doesn't seem to be causing him pain anymore.  i'm amazed at how in the past 2 weeks he just seems more human.  do you know what i mean?  suddenly he is so playful & interactive & just so much fun!  i can't believe it - my baby is getting all grown up.  (sniff!) 

Question:  does anyone else's lo still have very stiff movements with his/her arms?  luke seems to have the pincer grip down, but it seems hard for him lots of the time to get his arms to go where he wants them too.  also seems like he still has of bit of the startle reflex.  then he just gets very mad cause he can't grab onto what he wants.

Christine & Tarri - totally hadn't realized about the touchy babies sometimes having problems with the afternoon nap.  now it all makes sense!  is that in the new book?

Tarri - like Deb said, if you want her to have a better afternoon nap, i would get her up by 1.5 hrs in the morning.  secondly, i noticed at your routine that it hasn't been 2 hours since she woke up from her morning nap & you're trying to put her down for her second.  usually the awake time gets longer in the day as you go on.  so if she's up for almost 2 hours before her first nap, i'd try & extend her awake time so she's up a bit longer before her second nap.  it may also be that once you really get that afternoon nap straightened out she may not need the 3rd nap - and things smooth out at night.  also - the 4hr schedule may help - like branwen said.

Julieb - i'd say go for it.  pumping can be a pain, but it shouldn't affect your supply, since you are pretty well established at this point.  as far as asher weaning... i think it could go either way, but i'd probably lean towards he will just be very happy to see you when you get back. 

Deb - holy cow what an eater!!!  the effects over here aren't quite so severe.  luke's milk intake is about the same, but he now doesn't seem to mind cereal twice a day.  we're waiting on other foods until he gets better at the eating & the tongue reflex disappears a little more.  PS - what's the time difference between NY & Sydney??

[thitz]

Branwen, Emily wakes all over the place at night.  She first wakes around 8:30 and I give the dream feed , then usually starting around 10:30 to 6:00 she'll wake several times.  I never give any additional night feeds.  What I do is, I see if she's caught on the crib at all or if the blankets not on her or check for wet diaper or pick up to see if a burp, then usually I just have to lay her down and put the blanket over her and she'll curl up and go to sleep with no fuss and I leave the room immediately.  I never hold her for more than 30 secs.

You have a good point about the df ounces.  I've been putting more in this bottle because I give it so early so she'll last the night or to make up for what she didn't eat at dinner cause she was too tired to drink properly.  Today I'm going to try to sneak in some more ounces and take away from the df.  Also, I like your suggestion to try and not give her 2nd feed till a full 4 hours after the first so maybe she'll take a full feed here.  Maybe this is why I can't extend the 2nd nap, cause she's too hungry from neat eating well the time before. Hmm.  Also I'd say Emily is textbook with a lot of touchy.

JulieB, I know how you feel about 'wake to sleep'.  We did it for 3 nights and it seemed to break the habit for a week and then last night she woke at 2am again.  What time does your ds normally wake for the morning?  I know I'll let my dd get up anywhere in the 6:30-7:15 window.  And yes I think you should be brave and go away for the weekend.  I'd be worried about weaning too, but at that point you're already weaning (kindof)because they're drinking less and eating more solids.

Christine, I'm so sorry that Leah has a cold.  That must feel horrible for you and her.

Debra, when you said you were going to think for me specifically in the evening it made my eyes swell with tears.  Thank you.  It's sooo nice to have your's and all the other mom's good thoughts.

I hate to wake her early from the 1st nap but it is definately something I can easily try (a lot easier than trying to extend a nap :wink: )  I'll force myself to try it this morning.  For awake time, I have been playing more with trying to extend it but maybe I shouldn't push so much.  Her nap#3 is 45 min. max cause she wakes up here, I haven't tried to extend this one for a long time.  Maybe I'll give it a go and see what happens.

Jamie, my dd doesn't always reach exactly where she wants.  Usually after she's been up for awhile and is getting tired or there's another toy close by and her hand catches that one by mistake.  I'm going to bite the bullet and wake Emily early from her first nap like you and Debra say.  I would so like to get to the point where she has two good naps and then drop the catnap.

Have a good day everyone.  And thanks for all your suggestions.  

[dkjokisch]

Nikki - Thanks for the suggestions.  We've been favoring her left since she was about 3 mos old, and she does turn her head to the left on her own, it just turns out she still doesn't have the same range of motion in that direction.  I'm sure the PT will have some other ideas for us.  My sister is also a PT (though she's not local), so maybe she'll have some ideas too.

Deb - Would you believe I used Tommee Tippee cups as a kid!? (and I am 30!)

Heather - We are also trying to move Maya's bedtime up a little to address an early wake-up time.

JulieB - I'm not sure on the accidental weaning thing.  I long to go away for a long weekend, but pumping is such a hassle for me that it would never work.  Have you tried posting on the BF board?  At any rate, I think you should go, if only so the rest of us can live vicariously through you!  And I agree with Deb, some practice days would be a good idea.

Tarri - Maya hit a rough nap phase at about the same age.  What worked was slowly extending her awake time between naps 1 and 2 to two hours.  Her nap #2 is now back to 1.5 to 2 hours.

[branwen]

Tarri-  Have you thought of a sleep sack for the blanket issue?  I heard these also prevent the baby from getting stuck in the slats (the feet at least because the blanket won't allow them to wedge.  I think it is also more difficult to turn in one too but they can still roll around and stuff.

Does she cry out really loud for you then at night?  I am just wondering what happens if you leave her to resettle alone- I mean, do you usually find a diaper, her stuck, etc? Or is it that she just wants to see you?  Trouble with separation anxiety lately?  I forget- does she have a luvie?  Maybe time to introduce?

For the naps- for us I think I am going to have to start PUPD again to extend because they have now all shortened (she's been doing 3, 45 min ones lately  ).  I want to teach her how to do two long naps (2 hrs each).  I know she is ready and it is just about me helping us both get there.

I would definitely try to get more in her during the day- esp if she is an active baby- she certainly sounds it :wink:    I would also try increasing the solids...not that she has to eat more but it might help things if she won't take more at the bottle?

JulieB- me personally I'd be terrified of weaning, but that is only because I'm afraid Eirwen is already doing this :? She's been gorging on solids (she eats about 3 oz of cereal, 1.5 fruit, and 1.5 veggie per day now :shock: 15 min after bf) You might be ok though because bf is really well established for you guys!

Jaime- good to hear from you! Yes, in the new book she talks about how to avoid afternoon playdates, lots of activity, stimulation.  Eirwen and I do low key stuff in the afternoon where she can watch and that is enough :wink:   Also Eirwen doesn't have stiffness so much as frustration with her new abilities.  It's like in her mind she's putting something in her mouth but when it ends up in her eye she's upset- she's like- hey, that's not what I meant!  The most frustrating thing for her now which is sort of stiffness is she doesn't know how to let go.  She loves grabbing, etc but when she reaches for something else it's like she forgets she's clenching something else.  If Luke is touchy then he will be more sensitive to sound.  Eirwen still jumps when me or dh sneezes or coughs :wink:

US- as I mentioned to Tarri, we're in 45 min nap hell right now. :roll:

[Deb_in_oz]

Jaime - we are in the same teething boat - it seems to have settled down for a while - alex was the same so i am expecting it to pop up around 7 mo...

the time diffreence from east coast USA  to sydney is 14 hours right now (you guys are behind us - so when i get on here at 9am it is 7pm the day before fo you)

tarri - my pleasure - thatis what we are all here for - sometimes it is better to wait and come back so i can give you guys undivided attention (usually doing this in 5 min snatches thorugh the day - i just keep it open all day long until bedtime)  I hope some of this helps you out and that things improve

Deborah - that is very funny!  they did say it has been around for 50 years i think!!

Branwen - we are with you rigjt now - yesterday was a 3 x 45 min nap day. I even tried to get in a 4th nap since the day started early and there was "time" but she was not having any of it so was up from 3pm - 7:15pm what a trooper!

us - besides the 45 min naps we are on day 4 of "the spurt" yesterday she fed at least every 3 hours and took 44oz + 2 solid meals including starting carrots. she did not seem to love the taste but thanks to the growth spurt she ate it like a champion (i mixed it with cereal and formula) did not make it to DF but slept through until starving at 6:30am!!!

also - alex has been sick with fevers and runny nose (and occassional chills) since Saturday midday.  it has been exhausting this weekend - between olivia regressing to 3 hr EASY and making solids too + alex crying and running to the dr. etc Dh and I don't feel we had a weekend at all - could not believe last night when i realised it was Sunday night  :evil:  where had the w'end gone?  and now i kept A home from daycare so i lost my one morning of "me time" - selfish?? i have left the Tv on this morning since there is little she wants to do anyway.

[thitz]

Debra, Branwen, Deborah and Jamie, Today we had a really good happy day , thanks to all your help!!  Not a single cranky crying session.   I wasn't able to extend nap#2 but I think cause it was delayed she was able to be happy until later in the day.  She hasn't gone to bed this late in 2 months. I hoooope tonight goes okay.  Also I managed to squeeze in 4 extra ounces thru the day so I'm going to give a smaller df tonight at 9pm latest with the aim of eventually eliminating.  She's still not swallowing much solids so this could be awhile still.  Here's what we did today.

7:15    carrot/bottle (7oz)
9:00    Nap 1 (1.5 hrs, I woke her up, she would have slept longer)
11:00  bottle (7 oz, carried her around outside to delay till 11:00)
1:00    Nap 2 (45 mins, did pt/sh and she tried to fall asleep again but just didn't seem tired enough, I got her up at 2:30 and got lots of big laughs from her, very happy baby)
2:45    oats/bottle (7oz)
3:45    Nap 3 (1 hr, I woke her up cause I knew she wouldn't want to be up till too late, I was right on this cause when I woke her I could tell she was mad cause she thought it was her bedtime.)
5:45    rice/bottle (7 oz)
6:45    Bed

Branwen, I haven't tried a sleep sack but maybe I should give it a go.  This morning at 5am she did a frantic cry and I went in and she was right up against the crib side with her entire arm stuck thru and couldn't move.  I'd say half the time she crys at night cause she's stuck on the slats and maybe the other half is seperation anxiety.  Sometimes she crys loud and I go in and as soon as she sees me she curls up on her side to go back to sleep.  Maybe it's a phase that she'll get over if I continue to respond to loud crying?  She does wake up several times and fusses and we don't respond (dh stays up late and hears her on the monitor).  It's like she never gets into a deep sleep. :?

Oh...she's waking for the df already at 8:40!!  Gotta go.  Tarri

[HeatherC]

Okay, who jinxed me on the whhhhiiiiiiinnnnnnning?  :x
There's no rhyme or reason for it that I can tell.  It's almost as if she's frustrated because she wants something but can't communicate it to us.  Oh my, I hope it doesn't last long.

Branwen, Kelsey squirms and wiggles when I sit down with her for bedtime if it's too soon after the last bottle.  It's not as bad anymore, and if she's exhuasted she won't do it all.  I've figured out how to hold her, though, so that it doesn't bother her and she's doing much better.  However, by putting her down so soon after the bottle, she is soaking her diaper and it's leaking on the crib sheet every morning.  Dh says to feed her even earlier or at the same time but keep her up later.  Sure, whatever, he's not the one home with an overtired baby.

Debra, I just can't get over Olivia's growth spurt.  I wonder how long it will last. 

Jaime-Kelsey is pretty good to reach for things and grab them, but her arms are still pretty stiff and she's flaps them like a bird.  It's always funny when I carry her around because she sticks her arm out in case something may brush her hand.  It's like she has an invisible cast making her arm stick out all the time.  And she still gets startled sometimes.  She has even started getting scared of things when I've never noticed this from her before.  Used to the dog would bark, she's jump, then laugh.  Now sometimes she pouts and I have to reassure. 

Tarri, you should definitely try the sleep sack, and probably a crib bumper.  I've found Kelsey with her head against the side of the crib, but the bumper kept it from hurting her.  Also, how long are you waiting before you go into her?  My SIL says that her lo still crys out in the night and she goes in and tends to him, but she doens't think he's really awake and never knows she's in there.  Sorry, but I don't have much to offer but {{{Hugs}}}.

[julieb]

I've decided not to go on the weekend trip.   :roll:   I posted the question on the BF forum and GraceKellysmom brought up a good point.

Since you asked, I would never seperate myself from a nursing baby for more than a few hours (especially if you are usually SAHM) unless it is a medical emergency. If my baby isn't used to me being away, it could cause him stress, anxiety, fear to be away from me, let alone not have his nursing for 3 days.

I thought about my own feelings about missing him for three whole days, but I hadn't thought about his because he would be with DH.  Truthfully, "no one does it like mama," and while that may be okay for a few hours here and there (so I can come home a pick up the pieces), it would probably be quite stressful on him for 3 days.  I'm sure he'd get used to it by the end, but not without a lot of tears the first couple days.  He will also be 8 months old and at the peak of the separation anxiety period.  And lastly, he drank 11.5 oz in one sitting today and I just don't know if I can pump enough by then!   :shock:   :lol:   Being the touchy little guy he is, a weekend away isn't worth putting him through the stress and risking weaning.  I don't feel bad about missing it.  I was more excited about sleeping 8 hours in row!   :wink:   So this has inspired me to make a night for myself away at a hotel or my family's house while DH tends to Asher.  I think one night/morning would work out perfectly fine.   

As I mentioned earlier, Asher drank a 11.5 oz bottle today for my mom!  :shock:   The most he's taken before was 10 oz.  I was only able to pump 5 oz.  Makes me wonder if I'm starving him or something!  :wink:   I warned her about his whining before I left.  Of course, he woke early from his nap to poop (he loves to poop mid-nap...drives me nuts!).  Then he started to be whiney/cranky after an hour or so.  She said nothing made him happy so they tried to put him down for a nap (too early!).  He'd have none of that!  They got him up, but he still was crying at them.  They tried putting him down again without luck.  Then I came home.  My mom was quite frazzled as she told her tale.  She got to experience the pterodactyl cries/screams first hand!  I felt so validated!  See!  He's not a perfect happy little angel all the time after all!  I work hard to keep him in a good mood!  Just imagine what he'd be like if I DIDN'T find the BW!   :wink:   :lol:   :lol:  :lol:

[herbst99]

Julie

I've decided not to go on the weekend trip

I was in a similar situation with Lise (not the BF part as she is FF) and I ended up taking her with me for the w/e. I have also decided that an evening away will be much more enjoyable for me (as I would not stress so much about her missing me and the seperation anxiety thing) but I also felt that she should be intoduced to me being away more slowly than a sudden OK - I am gone for 3 days!!!

Tarri I agree with all re the sleep sack - Lise has been sleeping in there at night since I took away the wrapping at night. It really helps!! Also - I would maybe also continue to position baby head-to-foot (feet right at the bottom of the crib) this way there will be no bumping of the head at the top (for a little while at least - untill our babies can crawl to the top!!) I also have a cot bumper but some people don't like using them in fear of SIDS??!!

Us Lise is ALSO in this 45min nap think again!!! I thought we had it covered. Well I will think of you as I struggle to keep her asleep in her crib! She is now also REFUSING solids ... and we are basically only on rice cereal. She refused to eat anything on Sat and Sun. Hopefully tonight will be another story.
Apparantly you should not decrease milk untill solids are established?? Any advise anyone?

[Deb_in_oz]

Also - I would maybe also continue to position baby head-to-foot (feet right at the bottom of the crib) this way there will be no bumping of the head at the top (for a little while at least - untill our babies can crawl to the top!!)   

FYI - Olivia sleeps in a sleeping bag and is also tucked in with a blanket and still wriggles to the top of the cot - she bum shuffles the whole way to the other end  :roll:

[branwen]

Eirwen is 7 months today!!!    Here is a picture of my angelpie!  Time is going by too fast!!!

I posted stuff on EASY forum for help- so that is what is up with us :? so lost right now.

[Deb_in_oz]

Branwen - Happy 7 months to Eirwen!! she looks gorgeous in that photo.  I saw your post on EASY and have not got any answers for you siince we are in the same 3 x 45 boat (although today she did a 1hr 30 for the 3rd nap so at least she did catch up a bit and made it to bedtime)  now if we can only get the actual expected naps to be 1hr 30 i would be thrilled - even if it is just the 2nd nap that lenthens i would be thrilled (2 kids napping for 2 - 2hr 30 would make me a crazy happy lady  :lol: )

Us: Liv is still spurting and Dh is in giving her a feed now (woke at 9:30pm). I am off to bed and praying she does not wake before 630!! she has already had loads to eat and 2 solids again but who knows...

she is clapping two plastic rings together which is great and trying so hard to roll from back to front - she is getting closer but just can't do it.  Alex is still sick so i am starting to worry as there were various red spots on her legs and arms and i might need to head back to the doctor tomorrow.  a new kid came to playgroup a few weeks ago and brought chicken pox with him - so far only 1 little boy caught  it and alex had the vaccine a month or 2 ago, but  :roll:  it is the only thing i can think of - what else is fever + spots (they are not raised nor does she seem to be itchy...just cold/flu symptoms + mabe 6 red dots )

[dkjokisch]

Tarri - Glad to hear you had a good day.  I hope today goes as well.

Heather - Welcome to the whining club!  I don't think dh really believed me.  Usually, by the time he gets home, she's gotten so cranky I am holding her.  So yesterday, I made sure to have my hands full about the time she usually starts winding up and left him to deal with her.  I think he has a newfound appreciation for why I am irritated when he comes home from work late without calling to let me know.

Nikki - You are right about not decreasing milk intake until solids are established, but Maya is bf, so she is kind of self-regulating in that respect.

JulieB - You need to do what works for you and Asher.  If a weekend away seems to much, though, an evening/overnight sounds like a good idea.

For the 45-minute nappers out there, THERE'S HOPE!  We are coming out of the 45-minute nap phase.  Maya was ready to make the transition to two longer naps.  As I started increasing her awake time little by little, her naps got longer, and we are now back to 1.5-2 hour naps.  However, it looks like we are going to need to move her bedtime up by 1/2 to 1 hour temporarily as she has been too tired for her bedtime feed for the last few nights.

We are still having an problem with morning wake-up, though.  She's waking up around 5am.  Dh has tried on numerous occasions to resettle her without a feeding, but with absolutely no luck.  She just gets frantic.  We're trying to hold her off until 6am, but this morning for example, she woke at 5am and talked quietly to herself until about 5:45am.  I went to her when she started getting worked up and fed her, but by the time she was done eating, she had been up for 1.5 hours and was tired again.  So I wound up putting her down for her AM nap at 6:30am!  Needless to say, that's going to throw our day off a bit, and today will probably wind up being a 3-nap day.  Any ideas?

[Deb_in_oz]

quick before i shut down the computer - Deborah - IMO if she wakes at 5am hungry i would quickly feed her and put her back to bed and let her get up at 7/7:30 to start the day. see if it is a phase she is going through and let her grow out of it rather than encourage it by getting her up and into light and chats...

in my book any waking before 6 is a night feed.  dd1 went through a long period of waking at 5:45-6 when she was 5-7 months and it drove me crazy because it was so close to 6 but still so uncivilized.  with olivia i instituted it as a hard and fast rule - since alex sleeps til 6:30-7:30 i was not starting my day before 6:30 except for rare exceptions (like this growth spurt when she wakes instantly screaming from hunger at 6:15 i am not going to be pedantic) but you are probably better off in the long run making it a quick feed at 5am rather than listening to her escalate by 5:45 and then getting her up etc. thios way you can get back to sleep yourself for an hour or 2 HTH

[herbst99]

deborah Oooh no - I hope Lise does not start bum shuffle to the top! Well there goes my recommendation! Re early wake ups - I totally agree with rather treating it as a "night wake" and then getting her up at 7:00 if she is still sleeping regardless of how long she again slept to get her clock back on track.

Happy Monthday to EIRWEN :lol: She is so pretty!!

My DH had a sudden panic attack the other day when we started talking about boyfriends etc. I don't think he ever really thought about it! He was so cute!