10 month old having trouble winding down - way OVERTIRED...!

[Portia]

Hello friends,

I could really use some advice &/or referral for a CT baby whisperer to help...!

Unfortunately I've done a LOT of accidental parenting & my 10 month old boy, Andrew, & I are both suffering the consequences now...I feel so sad for my little guy & am worried I may do more harm than good when I only want the very best for him...

Still reading Secrets of the Baby Whisperer, when I find time, while trying to put it into practice.  I was amazed at how soon some things began to fall into place once I started an E.A.S.Y. sequence, Andrew no longer tries to nurse to sleep at all...!

Our problem now is, he's having a hard time winding down for naps & at night...He'll get really close & either start writhing in my lap (during or before stage 2/3 of falling asleep) or once he's entered stage 3 & put into crib he'll almost fall asleep & then get really AWAKE & playfull...He pulls up & bounces/laughs & tries to get my attention to play along & cries if I don't...Been doing PU/PD which worked surprisingly well at first but seems to frustrate him even more now...It's been taking an hour or more to get him to sleep & then he'll wake crying anytime between 45 minutes - 1 hour & 15 minutes later (still seems tired) & I can't get him back down...I feel like it's throwing off the whole E.A.S.Y. cycle b/c he shouldn't need to eat, but if I let him get up & play until the next hungry/feed time he'll be cranky through a solid meal & won't get much down or fall asleep nursing b/c he's SO exhausted...

I'm at the point where I don't get dinner or a shower until after Andrew's down for the night, not feeling very human & feeling like a very inadequate mother...Please help...

Thanks,     Portia

[lil'monkey]

Welcome Portia.  I love your name! 

How long have you been doing pu/pd?  I don't have much experience on pu/pd but I think that at this age you only do the pd.  There is a board on PU/PD that you might want to visit.  Also, with all sleep training methods there will be a period of regression so this might be it.  As ds is older, he will want to resist to this new way of going to sleep.  Keep being consistent and patience and eventually ds will learn to fall asleep on his own.

Do you have any help?  Maybe dh, your mom or a friend can help you out with the training or even housework.  HTH

[Kazzabob]

i agree with PP - I would just lie him back down when he gets to play, and avoid eye contact etc.  Do you have any music or anything that can help him wind down?  We've used music since Toby was about 3 months and built it into the wind down, so when it's on he now knows it's time to sleep.

HTH!

[Portia]

Thank you both for your hasty & helpful suggestions, really appreciate that there's this great supportive community online...!  My confidence has been very shaken & it means a lot to know there are people out there who care enough to take the time to help...I did take a look at the PU/PD board last night & plan to continue visiting there as well, wasn't quite sure where to post my initial query...

I'd love to add soothing music (any must-have albums suggestions?) to the routine, not sure where to implement...Here's what we do now:

- say something like "you look sleepy, are you ready for your nap?" as we're heading for his room
- lower blinds & say goodbye to "mr. sunshine"
- settle into easy chair & read a few stories
- try to have a lullabye here but he starts wriggling
- carry him to crib (still singing) hugging
- put down saying "mommy's putting you in your crib for a little rest, see you when you wake up"

(bedtime routine is as above, but nurse & brush teeth b/4 stories)

I'm thinking that Andrew's initial morning wake up is to early for him, he's been waking with a short cry after 10 - 11 hours of sleep...I ususally wait it out for a while & see if he'll get back to sleep on his own, afraid that if I go in there it'll be too stimulating & he won't go back down...On occasion it works & he sleeps a for 1/2 hour - 1 hour longer...The times it doesn't work, I get him up & nurse him as usual, but he shows classic tired signals (hair pulling, yawns, eye rubbing, etc.), this was the case today...I kept him up, read a few stories, he fussed through a diaper change, played for a tiny bit & fought my attempt to get him in his high chair for breakfast (I assume b/c he was too tired)...So, I skipped his breakfast & went into the nap routine & put him down (per below paragraph)...Do you think I should have just done PD when he first woke up this morning...?  If so, would you suggest I pick him up once for comforting b/4 starting PD...?

Mimi, I followed your suggestion of just the PD for Andrew's AM nap & he went down in 1/2 hour (25m of PD time), big "whew" of relief for me...He woke up exactly 45m later (still tired) & I did PD with him for 2 hours w/ periods of crying/whining, high activity & quiet...Then it was "time" for his next nursing feed so I picked him up & started the E.A.S.Y. cycle...Not sure if that was the right thing to do, but instinct told me to go ahead & feed him...

He went down in 10 minutes this afternoon (only 5 minutes of PD time), woke up 1/2 hour later & self soothed w/in 4 minutes, back down for another hour...Still woke up fussy/tired at 4:00, but I got him up anyway (wasn't sure if it was worth it for either of us to go through a PD session if it took too long & would possibly affect his going down at bedtime...Again, don't know if I made the right call...He was tired & touchy & still took 45 minutes to go down (but very little whining/crying, just a lot of activity & rolling around)...

Thanks again & my apologies for the long-windedness, I just have so many questions while I'm getting my "whisperer" sea legs...

Very best regards,     Portia

PS: Haven't gotten acclimated to all the abbreviations yet, what's "HTH"...?