Author Topic: 18 months and still no finger food  (Read 5036 times)

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Offline s3000xl

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18 months and still no finger food
« on: June 03, 2005, 20:20:25 pm »
Our son is now 18 months and is not eating finger food or anything lumpy. He will eat very well mashed food but as soon as he gets a lump the size of a pea he will gag on it and throw up what he's eaten.

With finger food there is nothing he will eat. We've tried loads of things but nothing seems to work. This last week we've gone back to finger biscuits (Cow and Gate ones) but he won't put them in his mouth and won't let us do so either. Instead he happily feeds the biscuit to us.

He's never been into putting things into his mouth. Where most babies seem to put anything in there, he only puts a select number of things in on very rare occasions.

We do not know anyone whose child does the same and most people don't seem to understand that when we say nothing, we mean nothing. They'll say, "have you tried him on toast soldiers" and we'll say "yes, he won't eat them". Our Health Visitor is similarly surprised when we tell them about it, but they have not suggested anything that hasn't failed.

It's difficult to know what to do to help him with it as we've failed so many times. We don't know if it could be a physical or mental thing that is stopping him.

We would love to hear from anyone who has experienced this or anyone who has some advice on what we could try.

Offline belladonna

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18 months and still no finger food
« Reply #1 on: June 03, 2005, 20:41:53 pm »
I can totally relate to everything you wrote.  My son is 16 months and has texture issues. He used to be a great eater then one day he just stopped. Right now he wont eat jarred baby food. he will eat yogurt.  Once in awhile he will eat whole peas and macaroni and cheese but those days are far and inbetween.

His doctor referred us to a Occupational Therapist who specialized in pediatric eating issues..I know in some areas a speech therapist will work with toddlers with eating issues.

My son did great in the office setting: he would eat whole peas, macaroni and cheese, cheese, carrots, fresh fruit etc...At home - only the mac 'n cheese and peas.  We aren't going  to see the O.T. currently. I am looking into finding someone to come into our home. My thought is maybe he will associate  eating with being at home.  I don't know if it will work but he got so he would eat at the office.  In the office setting she had various toys, etc. that she used to distract him..I try with his toys at home but with no success.

We still offer him food daily but he still refuses them. 

His doctor has him on formula now - for the extra vitamins since he doesn't eat much of anything.

Oh- the specialist had us rub a cloth (soft cloth - I use an old cotton burp cloth) on his cheecks before eat meal. She also had us massage his jaw line when he did have food in his mouth to stimulate chewing as he tends to hold food in his mouth. She also had us massage his gums with a NUK brush - kinda like the Gerber finger brushes to get him used to a different texture in his mouth. He loves the NUK brush - I think it helps with his teething as well!  My son seems to enjoy having his face massaged. I don't know if it really  helps but I keep trying it - I believe she referred to it as oral alerting.


Oh - my son loves apple/carrot juice so I give him that as well.

It is so frustrating when your child wont eat.  I just keep offering. If he refuses I try not to react in any way except to be encouraging and to praise him when he does eat something.  I know how frustrating it is also when people try to offer you suggestions on how or what to feed your child. I just tell myself that they are trying to be helpful but man is it annoying.

Good luck.
-Debra


Offline s3000xl

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18 months and still no finger food
« Reply #2 on: June 03, 2005, 21:16:11 pm »
Thanks for your response Debra. One of the worst things about any "problem" with children is that it can feel quite isolating as it seems like nobody else has experienced what you are experiencing. It's good to hear from other people who can relate to what you are saying.

I thought I'd just add a bit more on our son. He hates having his teeth cleaned. Even if we make it a game he'll scream his head off. He's never been interested in teething rings. He also only really drinks water and milk. Even then it has to be out of a bottle or a non-drip cup with the valve removed!

We also have him on a diet of no cow's milk because of his eczema. He doesn't seem to have a problem with difference flavours (of course some he doesn't like). He will eat things like spaghetti bolognaise, beef casserole, chicken and vegetables, weetabix (a cereal you don't get in the states), bananas, etc - as long as they are all very well mashed or pureed. Any lumps and we're guaranteed to have a reprise.

There are some interesting things in your post that we might try. We have also thought about seeing if we could see an Occupational or Speech Therapist, although have been put of by the lack of support we've received from our doctor and health visitors. Would love to hear any more thoughts from you or others who may have experiences to share and suggestions to give.

Offline izzysmommy

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18 months and still no finger food
« Reply #3 on: June 06, 2005, 11:30:33 am »
Hi, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.  Our daughter has just turned 2 last week and for your own peace of mind I can honestly say that Izzy is and was exactly the same as your ds.

Izzy has always had and still does have issues with eating lumpy food and it has constantly been an uphill struggle to get her to eat anything with even the tiniest of lump in it, without throwing it straight back up as she too gags on anything remotely lumpy.

Izzy was also never never interested at all in finger foods for a very long time, even when all the other children her age were woofing down biccies, and finger food of all descriptions.  The hvs would say 'oh she should be doing this, that and the other, but to be honest I have now learnt that they all do it at different ages, and it has only been in the last 4-6 months (20 months old or so) that Izzy has cottoned onto finger foods.

I used to put them on her tray and she would just fling them on the floor,  not in the slightly interested.  All she would finger feed was baby rice cakes, and that was a milestone with those.

One day i thought i would try her with strawberries AGAIN! and i just took 1 cut it into quarters, squashed it a bit with my fingers so she would'nt gag and simply sat in the kitchen and played a game of 'just taste a bit for mummy by licking it' and then give her big praise when she did, and then try that again and again and eventually put the tiny quarter of strawberry in her mouth and told her to chew, mimacking this myself and to my amazement and dh's she ate it.  Big praise for them is very important when they do this.  And I have just taken it from there very very slowly.  Now Izzy eats strawberries properly till the cows come home along with all fruits bigtime, I'm not saying we are out of the woods yet or a perfect eater by any means, but we've come such a long way since January.

Izzy still eats jarred food even at 2 years old from time to time and still gags from time to time.  This week, however, she has amazed us all and started eating the cold salad pasta bowls you get from Tescos etc, and just puts spoonfuls in, chews and swallows without gagging.  A HUGE STEP FORWARD.  What I also used to find was that izzy was not very good at chewing and just used to swallow any food I gave her, jarred etc, and henceforth if there was a lump of food in it, she would gag, so I needed to encourag her to chew food aswell.

One other thing I found with Izzy is that she eats very very slowing and mealtimes take anything up to 40 mins, but if I let her go at her own pace, don't get frustrated and try and rush her, she does not gag and eats much better.  She's just a slow eater.  I just take each day very slowly, we have only just started her on scrambled egg, which she gagged on at first, but is getting better with each meal.

So sorry to have gone on quiet a bit, but just wanted to let you know that I can almost promise that if Izzy can do it, your ds will do it too.

I agree with you that it is very hard with an eating issue like this, when all your friends children eat so well and they do not understand why your ds/dd does not finger feed etc etc.  Its also very hard when you go out for that 'token' meal with friends and their children eat from the menu, we still have to feed izzy before hand as she would still struggle to eat anything from the menu yet, but that day will come I am sure. As long as ds is happy and well that's all that matters, they pick it up eventually, honest. 

Just try tiny tiny pieces, finger fed by yourself to begin with.  Oh yeah, and oddest thing, almost forgot, when I never though izzy would finger feed anything other than rice cakes, one day i was sat on the sofa eating salt and vinegar crisps and she came and took one and ate it (Mcoys aswell, very crunchy), no gagging, woofed it down and came back for more, so maybe try those.

If you want to mail me my address is sarah@the-steeles.com if you want to chat over anything or just need to feel better about it, i don't mind.

Keep in touch

Sarah

Offline izzysmommy

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18 months and still no finger food
« Reply #4 on: June 06, 2005, 13:42:06 pm »
Hi, only me again,

Just had another thought for you.  You mention going to see an occupational therapist, and the related issues with their speech in relation to eating fingers foods.

I know exactly where you are going with this...i think...because I was convinced for a long time after reading countless books that told me that toddlers/babies must eat lumpy food and eat finger foods otherwise their speech might be impaired and hence have problems talking. It was something else for me to worry about..but....

Well, from personal experience with the finger food issue with Izzy, I can gladly say, that that is sooo not the case (at least for us).  Izzy has picked up talking and her speech is so good and there is basically not a word she cannot say, and easily strings 3-5 words together in sentences daily, constantly chattering, she so does not have a problem with her speech at all, even with the lack of fingers foods/lumpy foods early on. She amazes us daily and we constantly have to watch what we say and she just repeats it.

Of course, I know that each little one is different and I am not trying to say do not go to see a therapist, just trying to reassure you not to worry.

HTH

Sarah x

Offline s3000xl

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18 months and still no finger food
« Reply #5 on: June 06, 2005, 17:49:28 pm »
Thanks for your post Sarah. It's reassuring to also hear from someone with an older toddler who has gone through similar things.

We've been having some funny experiences with Joseph over the last couple of days since my original post. At the weekend he actually took one bite out of a small animal biscuit, let it dissolve in his mouth (with a funny look on his face) and didn't choke! Of course, he wasn't interested after that and just threw the rest on the floor. Then today, whilst walking round Tesco he started to eat the shopping list! He didn't mind when he had it taken out of his mouth and replaced with a tissue, but when a Jaffa Cake was tried instead he lost interest!

As for speech, Joseph is a quiet boy and doesn't say much. He doesn't really make any proper words yet, just "da da da", "sssssssss", and (when he's upset) "mmmm-mmmm".

Have you read "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer"? If so, do you know which type of baby (Angel, Textbook, Touchy, Spirited, or Grumpy) you little one is? Joseph is definitely Touchy!

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18 months and still no finger food
« Reply #6 on: June 06, 2005, 18:19:20 pm »
Have you had him evaluated for sensory issues?  The specific things you mention about his eating and mouth, in combination with the milk intolerance/allergy (not sure which) and the lack of speech, all seem like red flags for sensory processing issues.  This doesn't sound like merely an eating issue.  I am NO expert on this, but an occuptional therapist might be able to help you tremendously, if you find a good one.  If it were me I'd go right away for an evaluation, you might find some ways to help him now while he's still very little and developing.

Offline s3000xl

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18 months and still no finger food
« Reply #7 on: June 09, 2005, 19:58:18 pm »
No we haven't had be evaluated for that sort of thing. He's had a hearing test and he's ok from that side of things. Are you thinking of any particular sensory issue, e.g. SPD? Have you had any experience of this yourself. To my mind I think he's probably fine on his senses as he's happy to have different flavours, has no visual problems, and is happy to touch most things. Just for some reason he has never had the instinct to put things in his mouth.