What should I do?

[cwolff]

If my DD wakes from 45 min naps, should I feed her when she wakes, even though she doesn't seem hungry and won't eat a full bottle.  If I wait until she's been up for a while, then she's tired and wants to fall asleep.  Then I get into sleeping with the bottle.  So I don't know what to do.  She really needs to eat only every 4 hours, but she can't stay awake the required amount of time.  And I keep missing her window I think because she will go to sleep easily, but is waking at 45 min.  I can't seem to get a routine going at all, and it's driving me crazy!  I'm so jealous when I read these posts about moms that have these wonderful routines going.  I just can't seem to do it!

[Meg's Mom]

Right, deep breath...I have been exactly where you are!  I have some ideas, but I need more information.

Can you please post your typical day (even when it goes nuts).

Also has she always done the 45min nap or did this just start.

In the mean time I would recommend you split the difference, (my LO is a reformed 45min napper and I did this to try to avoid that cycle you are referring to).  So if she wake early and she isn't supposed to eat for 45min - then feed her in 20min.  And try the routine again - at least until we can sort it out.  Does that make sense?

[cwolff]

That makes sense.  OK, our typical/nutty day usually begins somewhere between 5 & 6 am.  But she doesn't wake at a typical hour, so who knows.  But usually her morning waking has been very close to her last night waking.  Ie: wake at 3am, then 6am not hungry.  Or 4am, then 6am not hungry.  But, if I happen to get a good day where she wakes at 2am, then 6am, I feed her and we do A time for 1 hour usually.  Total Awake time is 1 /1/2 hours.  Sometimes a bit less first thing in the morning.

So 6:00 Awake
E6:15
A
S7:30 Sometimes only 45min.  Not sure if I should keep her up longer or less.

A 8:15
E 8:30
A 8:45
S 9 or so (this nap I've successfully lengthed to 2 hours so far, but I have to be there for the 45 minute wake up always)

E 11
A
S 12:30pm (again usually 45min)

A 1:15
E 1:30 or try to push it till 2
A
S 2:30 or 3pm (45 min)

A 4pm
E 4:30
A
S 5 or 5:30 (45min)

E 6:15 or so
Bath 6:30, books
Bed 7pm

DF 10:30pm
Wakes sometimes 2 am, sometimes 3, sometimes 1, sometimes 4!  No set pattern yet, but I just started the DF a couple days ago.

Now this is actually not as bad as it usually is, or maybe it just seems bad because she's cranky especially in the afternoon.  Wakes from the 45 min crying and I can't soothe her back to sleep.  Don't know if I should use pu/pd or if that would make her more upset.

Another problem is she's not even hungry after three hours, but can't stay up longer in the day because of getting cranky and overtired.  I just don't know what to do.  I would love for her to eat every four hours and take a full 6oz bottle.  Instead of every three hours and taking 3-4oz.  And she hasn't taken more then 3oz at a DF yet.  I'm not sure if I should even feed her when she wakes in the middle of the night, because again she only takes maybe 3oz and falls asleep.  I'm very confused as to what I'm supposed to be expecting and also the whole pu/pd thing.   Thanks for taking the time to help out.

[Katet]

Just a quick note, with the 45 min naps you can do a EASASE kind of routine to stretch the feeds out & that actually can help stop 45 min naps sometimes... there is a post at the top of the forum from Deb about how she beat the 45min naps... it is much the same as I did with ds #1 & my ds #2 actually has a day that goes a bit like this EASASESASA Bed... which is because it is hard for him to have one long morning sleep as it has to fit around ds#1's activities. They don't have to have a feed every awake time!
Also it can take up to 2 weeks for the DF to be effective (I don't do it with ds#2 as both boys sleep best early & so I go to bed early too)

[Meg's Mom]

Yes, have a look at Deb's post above and tell me if you think it will help.

Has she always done the 45min naps or did it just start, if so when?

[cwolff]

I printed out Deb's post, and actually emailed her.  I've tried extending the naps in the morning and have had some success.  But the easiest way to extend the naps seems to be picking her up and doing our winddown routine.  Ie: sitting in the rocking chair for a couple of minutes till her eyes get droopy.  Is that accidental parenting, because when I try to calm her in the crib, she just wakes up more.  She starts thrashing and kicking, etc.  So I end up not being able to extend the nap.  Today for the morning I tried extending in the crib, she wasn't having it.  Then I finally picked her up, but didn't wait till she was droopy and put her right back down.  Did this a few times and it actually got her really upset.  She never went back to sleep.  I tried for nearly an hour then got her up.  It was miserable.  This afternoon, I put the paci back in when she stirred, and she still started to wake up.  So I picked her up, sat in the rocking chair and in a couple of minutes she was droopy again.  Put her down, and she's still sleeping.  I guess I figure getting her to sleep more is the lesser of the two evils.  Also, I know she needs to be on the 4hour easy, because she's not hungry every 3 hours.  So how can I get extra calories in her, if she will only end up eating less each time.  Ahhhh!!!

[cwolff]

PS:  She has napped longer in the past, but now it's regularly 45min wake up.  She used to nap for 3 hours in the swing.  But finally broke that habit.  And we've started to do tummy time and exercises because of problems with her neck, which I think is making her more tired and so she needs her rest even more.  And if she's having a growth spurt, wouldn't she be hungrier?  She seems not to be interested in eating more then every 4 hours, and I can't keep her up for 2 hours cuz she's not taking good naps.

[Meg's Mom]

cwolff

I had a look at your schedule and thought about some ideas today.

I think you need to make some changes in her daily routine. What's happening is that when she wakes up at 6:00, and then goes back down around 7:30, she's only having 1 1/2 hour of awake time.  And again when she wakes from nap 1 at 8:15 and then goes back down around 9, she's only having 45min of awake time.  Generally by 3 months of age, an infant is having 1.5-2 hours of awake time and then ready for a nap.

What I suspect is happening, is that she is catnapping because of the brief awake time.. it's like "I've only been awake for a short time, so I just need a short amount of sleep". This is also creating the 45 min nap cycle.  She may also not be eating well because she is not getting proper day sleep and it looks like from your schedule that your feedings are actually less then 3hrs apart.

Do you have Tracy's new book?  She has a structured plan for moving to a 4hr schedule for LOs who are 4mos.  I know yours is 3mos, but if you start moving toward that now, BUT very gradually (3-4wks) by the time you finish she will be 4mos and on the new schedule.  Also hopefully off the 45min naps.

So.. here's what I suggest...

Block out 2 weeks just so you can sort out a new daily routine.

Start your day no later then 7:00, if she wakes at 6:00 then start her day.   If she starts to look sleepy after an hour (1.5), try to push her awake time a little longer by 15 min. increments every 3-5 days (you can't jump to 2 hours awake time right away, it has to be gradual).  A good way to do this, is to take her out for a little walk.. but not in her stroller if she's a stroller sleeper.   Give her a little carry around the neighborhood (or front/back yard), looking at the trees etc.

When it's time for sleep, have a predictable wind down routine, but ensure that she's drowsy but awake when she goes into his bed.

Let me know how it goes.  My LO did exactly the same thing at 3mos and we also let her nap in the swing from 0-3mos, so I have been there.  This is what worked for us.  We also gave her a v.small feed during the transition (like Deb) so you may include that also if you think it will help.

Hope that helps.  I promise you will both get thru this!

[cwolff]

I totally agree with you and thank you so much for your reply.  Here's an update from my last post.  Sunday, I decided to try Deb's approach to extending the naps, and maybe awake time.  So, she woke up at 4:30a, took 4oz and went back to sleep.  Next, she woke up for the day at 7:45am.  I know, I should've woken her up, but I didn't think about it till after.  So the day went:

E 4:30a 4oz
S till 7:45am
E 8:15am 5oz (surprising me that she ate that much)
A winddown in her room around 9:15a
S 9:45am (10:15am, went in to observe what was happening.  Nothing happened for a little while, but I knelt below the crib so if she opened her eyes she couldn't see me.  She is horizontal in the crib at the moment.  Then I placed my right forearm on her legs and my arm and hand resting on her chest.  After a few minutes, she spit the paci out, and I retrieved it.  Then she did a big jolt almost exactly 45minutes, but didn't fully wake up.  I put the paci in her mouth and had my hand still resting on her, and she went back to sleep!  Hooray.  She slept for 1 1/2 hours!)
E 12pm
A
S 1:35pm ( little shorter awake, but she seemed tired.  We did the same winddown in her room, though I'm not crazy about it because her room is small and there's not much space to hang out.)  At around 40minutes into the nap, I did the same thing, and extended it again!  She slept for 1 1/2 hours.
E 3:30pm
A
S 5:00pm (30min nap)
E 6pm
A
S 7:15pm
She woke crying though about an hour later.  NOt sure why.  Then I wanted to DF her, but slept thru it!  I set a timer but must've turned it off.  Then today went:
E 2am 4oz
S till 6:15am (though I heard her earlier)
E 6:30am 5oz
A
S 7:35am (she seemed really sleepy).  Extended the nap about 8:15 or so, and she slept for 2 1/2 hours!
E 10am  4oz
A
S 11:40am (I wanted to keep this nap short cuz we had to go to physical therapy at 1pm)
Awake 12:40pm and off to PT.
Awake unfortunately till 2pm.
E 2pm in car, 4oz, and fell asleep
A 2:30pm at home
S 2:50pm (I put her straight to bed once we got home because I knew she was really tired.  And, I don't know if it was me, or what but I tried to extend the nap again, and she slept for almost 2 hours.)
E 5:15pm 5oz spit up some and didn't seem incredibly hungry.
Bath at 6:15pm, though I know she was already tired.  Hubby wants his time with her, so we have to wait till he gets home.
Books till 6:45pm
S 7pm
Now tonight I am definitely going to DF her, around 10:30-11pm.  And see how that goes.  But another problem is that when she wakes in the night, I change her diaper and it's soaking wet.  I think it is waking her up, but there's not much I can do about it.  Any suggestions?  I know this was so long, but thank you so much for helping me out.  I know the routine isn't exactly regular.  I'm hoping it will become more regular.  Do you think we are on the right track?

[Meg's Mom]

Hi!

Yippee...Wow, she is a quick learner.  I am so please for you - good work!!

Regarding the extra wet diaper, yes that could be waking her...they sell a pad you put in the diaper (looks like a maxi pad) that can help absorb the extra wetness and help keep her dry.  I don't know the name, but if you would like i can email my friend who used them to find out.

Let me know if you need anymore support, but you are definitely on the right track!

[cwolff]

Michelle, yes, I would love to know what your friend used.  And thanks so much for your help.  We'll see if this keeps up.

[Meg's Mom]

She used diaper doubles.

She found them at our local Babies r us in Brea, CA - you'll find them where they stock the diapers/food/changing pad/etc, it's like $3.00 for 30 of them.

If not you can also get them online at: http://www.diaperdoublers.com

[cwolff]

Michelle, thank you so much.  The website for diaper doublers doesn't seem to be working, but I searched for it on the web and found several.  Thanks again, I'll PM to let you know if they work!

[Matthew's Mommy]

Okay.. I just got to the tail end of this..

Diaper Doublers???  I usually put on a diaper over top of another..

I didn't realize they make something for nighttime!

[Meg's Mom]

2 ... i would have never thought of that - you learn something new everyday!  :wink:

[cwolff]

OK, I just got the diaper doublers.  Can't exactly tell if they work yet.  What I don't get is, that even if you have an extra something in there, they are still really wet.  So I am not sure how it helps.  But we will see how it goes.

[Meg's Mom]

I think the idea is that they pull the wetness away from them vs. an overly full diaper that just stays wet...but let us know how it goes.