Author Topic: naps: genuine crying vs the fake one... what do you guys do?  (Read 1807 times)

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Offline me and bean

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naps: genuine crying vs the fake one... what do you guys do?
« on: August 21, 2005, 00:27:02 am »
if my lo has woken early from his nap, (and i haven't gone in early enough to shush him back to sleep), and he is crying, i always feel like i am faced with this dilemma:

which treatment for which cry?

if he is genuinely crying ie tears and seems really upset, i pu/pd...  then shush when he starts to calm down.

but if he is just whining and whinging and yelling and just fake crying really - what do you all do?  i have sat through it.  put my hand on him.  let him suck my hand.  let him suck his own hands.  tried to shush, he gets louder, i shush louder and so on and so forth.  i never pu/pd through this charade.  but i never walk out of the room either.  should i?

ultimately, it leads to real crying, or time to get up.
Susan -
mum to michael, aka bean!  april 1st, 2005
and cope, october 15th, 2007

Offline GG

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naps: genuine crying vs the fake one... what do you guys do?
« Reply #1 on: August 21, 2005, 04:54:23 am »
That is a question that I've been wondering myself.  I've been doing half and half.  :?  I let him whine and cry on his own (waiting outside the room) until his cries get very loud, at which point I go up to him and put my hand on him to let him know I'm there and try to comfort him without picking him up.  But I don't know how long to do this.  If he continues this for too long, I just take him out, feed him and let him play for a little bit, all the while watching for tired cues.

I'd like to know what other people think, too.
Georgia, mom to 3 sweet babes: touchy Foti, spirited Lena & not-so-tiny Joanna




Offline Deb_in_oz

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naps: genuine crying vs the fake one... what do you guys do?
« Reply #2 on: August 21, 2005, 05:12:05 am »
for me it depends on whether they are whinging with playing or whinging because they are still clearly tired but just not crying yet.

if Olivia wakes after 45 min i leave her be to see if she will resettle herself. i give her 20 minutes and see how it develops.  if she is awake and chatty / happy but has only been asleep for 45 min i impose a "rest rule" that she has to stay in the dark in her cot for the full 1hr 30 nap time - so long as she is still happy. sometimes she falls back to sleep and sometimes she starts escalating to a "get me up" whinge and i get her up to play until next feed.

when she has woken and cries a "grumpy" whinge cry straight away i will just go in and get her calm and then leave her to try again.

 a lot of the time she spends the second 45 min hanging out on her own and not getting upset and i get her up at the 1hr 30 mark and start the next cycle (i count the "up" time from when i got her out of the cot and just look for tired signs very closely for the next nap time). at least she as not been "up" in a stimulating environment. it is all "down time"
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Offline me and bean

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naps: genuine crying vs the fake one... what do you guys do?
« Reply #3 on: August 22, 2005, 04:23:23 am »
hey georgia - i only get him up and take him out if it's time for his feed or within a half hour of it.  like debra says, i also impose the "well, you can just stay in there then till it's time to get up" rule if he is happy.

but, it's when he's crying that's the thing.  the fake one.  tonight, he started and it got lengthy, so i decided to just pu/pd when it was genuine.  through all the yelling i just stayed with him with my hand on his chest, when he took little breaks, i shushed so he could hear me.  after 1.25hrs he fell asleep. 

after reading your reply i thought, she is waiting outside the door, and i would be waiting by the monitor, so i may as well be in there trying to help.
Susan -
mum to michael, aka bean!  april 1st, 2005
and cope, october 15th, 2007

Offline me and bean

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naps: genuine crying vs the fake one... what do you guys do?
« Reply #4 on: August 22, 2005, 16:59:31 pm »
he woke in the night (i know, not a nap...) at 3am, i sat on the edge of my bed and listened for a bit, he stopped, then he started again.  so i went in, shushed him and left.  it was the fake cry, so i went back to bed in my pjs fully expecting to get up again.  and after 20 mins of grizzling he went to sleep. 

i am going to try this during the day...  as debra does with her lo.
Susan -
mum to michael, aka bean!  april 1st, 2005
and cope, october 15th, 2007

Offline Deb_in_oz

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naps: genuine crying vs the fake one... what do you guys do?
« Reply #5 on: August 23, 2005, 00:31:07 am »
i am so glad it worked (really the same any time of day or night) it is just that you are letting him learn to do the resettling himself.  some babies really need the time/ investment spent on pat shh to get there but sometimes they can get there on their own if you are willing to let them struggle through the process for a bit, and go in and reassure them when things escalate.
Debra - a New Yorker living in Australia married to a Brit

dd1 - Textbook/Angel, born July 2003
dd2 - Spritied through & through, born Feb 2005

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