3 week old -- Just getting started and loads of questions

[beans1030]

Hi, All.

These boards are great!

I have a 3 week old DD and am just starting using BW  to get her on track.  The E and A portions of EASY are good for us -- she eats really well and has been a good, independent player since we brought her home.

The problem we have is the S part.  She is somewhere between a textbook and feisty (can't remember the actual term now) and put herself on somewhat of a schedule right off the bat.  During the day she will eat and return to sleep throughout the day, with periods of play in between. 

I'm trying to follow EASY more closely, but am having trouble with the S.  I get her to her crib by the third yawn, but when I put her it's like it becomes play time and she becomes very aware and starts independent play.  When I put her down she flings her arms and legs about (she HATES being swaddled, so that's not an option for us).  I can leave her in there without her crying, but she just plays instead of getting to sleep and then winds up overtired.

Any suggestions for us on this front? 

Also, we live in Phoenix where it's really hot and not recommended to give them a bath every day, so we don't have a solid nighttime routine.  I've just been happy to get her past her 9 - 11 witching hour of screaming, so I haven't focused to heavily on a night time routine.

Any advice from y'all would be really helpful, espeically those of you with really little ones.  I haven't found too many messages from folks with babies under 9 weeks.

Thanks in advance!!!

Beans

[NewMommy724]

I'm having the same problem with my 4-week-old son. I see the yawns and take him to the nursery right away. The bedtime routine just seems to make him more awake so I tried just putting him directly in the crib. He just becomes very alert, no matter which approach we take. He doesn't scream and wail, but he thrusts his legs very strongly and sort of grunts and whines. He used to calm down when swaddled, but now he hates to be swaddled. He relaxes when we pick him up, but then I try to put him back in the crib before he falls asleep (so he learns independent sleep), but the same thing happens - he becomes very alert.

He does take a pacifier. Actually, that calms him, but of course it keeps falling out of his mouth. Then he complains and we have to go in and give it to him again.

His routine now is to fall asleep somewhere around 11:00 pm, wake every 3-4 hours for nursing until 10 am. Then he doesn't sleep most of the day except usually in the afternoon he will have a pretty long nap. If he does have a nap, it's because he fell asleep nursing or riding in the car. We have the E and A down OK (I guess. I don't really know how a 4-week old is supposed to "play"), but we spend the entire "S" time just trying to get him to sleep.

Does anyone have any advice? Maybe we just haven't persevered long enough. We've only been trying for two days. Will it get better if we continue what we're doing, or should we take a different approach?

[Riverside6903]

Hey there:

Well, you say your daughter may be somewhat "spirited" I think is the word you might have been looking for.  I will say that if she flails her arms and legs a lot she may definitely need some swaddling.  My daughter, who is now 26 mos. old, hated being swaddled and always found a way to free one arm.  (which i then proceeded to just swaddle the rest of her body and leave one arm free, this way she gave up struggling and could then figure out how to self-soothe by maybe sucking her thumb.)  The lack of control she has now with her limbs may be what hypes her up when put in the crib.  Remember, in Tracy's book, she says that the flailing limbs can even scare a baby.  Even if it's hot, I would still swaddle.  Maybe just leave her in a diaper and the swaddle. 

About a routine, well first of all i would make sure that you put the little darling to bed between 6:30 and 7:30.  Early bedtimes are best, they sleep better at night because of it.  I found that bathtime hypes up my daughter so I try to avoid bathtime right before bed, I try to do it before dinner time or right after her nap.  Also, you don't need to bathe babies everyday.  Just keep certain things consistent in your nighttime routine.  For instance, walk in and turn the lights off, play the same music, or sing the same lullaby or song, hold her, rock with her (ofcourse not to the point of falling asleep), think of things that you know are soothing to a baby and just keep doing it.  For my daughter, I sing the same lullaby and I got her the Ocean Wonders from Fisher Price from when she was born that we put on along(lights and music only) with my song.  There are many things you can do for a routine.  Just be creative, some days you may have to lengthen your routine because she may be sick or overtired and she needs extra help winding down.  I hope I helped.

[loliac]

I would say that by the third yawn is too late. At this early age, babies can really get overstimulated easily. I agree that you should definitely swaddle your lo. Our dd is 11 weeks and we are still swaddling her for every nap and night time. Also, don't expect too much too soon. Our dd is just now consistently sleeping through the night. She was getting up at least once a night from birth to 8 weeks. We have never had a very elaborate night time ritual. We bathe her after the feed BEFORE her evening feed as it is pretty stimulating for her. Her bedtime routine looks like this: Feed, diaper change, feed some more, burp, sit with mommy/daddy very quietly for a few minutes, swaddle and put in crib. Then I whisper "Night-night moon, night-night room, night-night daddy, mommy" and so on until I get to her and she is usually almost always ready to nod off. I have been saying this little night-night thing for a few weeks now and she seems to recognize it as a cue.

I know it's hard right now to feel like your lo is ever going to "get" it but she will. Just trust that YOU need to stay consistent and eventually it will all fall into place. I remember feeling pretty frustrated and anxious for our dd to be more consistent and then all of a sudden she was. So, it will get there!

Hope any of this helps. Keep in mind that we have a very good baby! She is pretty spirited but also has her "Angel" characteristics as well. Good luck!

[NewMommy724]

Like I said above, I've been having the same problems you're having, but I think I've finally found a solution -- praise God!!! I think I have a Touchy baby (4 weeks old), and here's the process I very recently discovered that works:
1. I have to catch him at his very first yawn
2. swaddle immediately
3. place him snugly against my chest with his face into my chest so he's not distracted by stimuli
4. walk to the nursery while making a very steady SH-- sound (quite loudly, like a rushing faucet). No patting - too stimulating.
5. turn on the thing that makes the ultrasound heartbeat swooshy noise when we walk into the nursery
6. rock him for no longer than two minutes (still making SH--)
7. put him in the crib with my hands on his chest so it still feels like he's up against me.

He's asleep within seconds - literally -- and stays asleep. I've just discovered this process, and it works like a charm so far. I've read the things other people include in their bedtime/nap time routine, but they're all too stimulating for my son. I can't pat him or play music or anything. And if I wait too long past the first yawn, he won't calm down at all and refuses to be swaddled. I strongly recommend the ultrasound noise machine, too.

I am very excited to have discovered this. I hope it works for you!