weekend away & accidental weaning? What do you think?

[julieb]

I've been invited for a 3 day weekend celebration away for a friend's birthday.  Asher will be 8 months by then.  At 6.5 months, he is currently eating 4 BFs day, 2 solids meals (will add a 3rd meal in a week), and 1 full night feed.  I imagine he's drinking around 40 oz. a day (down from closer to 50 oz before we started solids).

I can pump enough before the trip for him, and pump during the trip (though I hate pumping).  But my biggest concern is if he'll end up weaning himself and prefer the bottle after 3 days without me. 

I've heard of babies trying to wean themselves around 10 months, I believe.  What do you think the risk is around 8 months?  Would you go or stay if you were in my shoes?  Going on this trip is certainly not worth stopping BFing before he's 1 year.

[GraceKellysmom]

It is very unlikely that an infant will self wean before 1 yr old. Some infants do - and in hindsight most moms agree that it was likely a "nursing strike" not true weaning. Weaning is gradual, one feed at a time. If you have a nursing strike on your hands when you get back, well, that can most likely be dealt with. And your determination to keep nursing or not will be the key to your success. And then again, he may not have any problems at all, especially if he is used to alternate care from your dh or a day care.

Since you asked, I would never seperate myself from a nursing baby for more than a few hours (especially if you are usually SAHM) unless it is a medical emergency. If my baby isn't used to me being away, it could cause him stress, anxiety, fear to be away from me, let alone not have his nursing for 3 days. Some times being a momma and putting my kids first, above my own needs, is tough. Giving up my "old life" wasn't easy. I'm the type that says, "if it isn't kid friendly, count me out" I'm a momma now. FWIW!

When my ds was 11 months, I had to be in the hospital for a day. My dh brought ds to me a couple times to feed. We just did what we had to do.

[Erin (redstarfalling)]

My sister went to Australia for 2 weeks when her son was 7.5 months old.  She pumped enough for him to manage with bottles for almost the entire time (she was planning for MONTHS!). For the first couple of breastfeeds when she got back, he was fussy about it, but she fed him that night when he was sleepy and he took it fine and never had trouble after that.

I also doubt that your lo will self-wean over the 3 days.  As for going - I don't think I would have felt comfortable leaving my dd for 3 days at that age, but then again - she never took a bottle! :roll: Do what you're comfortable doing and be happy about it!

[LindseysMom]

This may not be reasonable but thought I would throw it out there.  Is there any way you could take him and whoever was going to be caring for him while you were gone.  That way you could still participate in the activities and let your caregiver babysit and you could still pump if needed but he would also be there to take most of his normal nursings.  I don't know, just an idea.

[julieb]

Gracekellysmom, thanks for the thought-provoking comments.  Besides my own pangs of missing him, I hadn't thought about the stress and anxiety he may feel -- especially at what may be the height of separation anxiety.  Funny, I always worry about how he'll feel when we leave him with a sitter (and therefore, do not get out much  :lol: ), but I hadn't even thought about it for this weekend since he'd be with DH.   :roll:   Silly me.  I think I was just excited over the idea of getting to sleep 8 hours in a row.   :lol:

Lynne, I doubt I could bring DH & Asher.  Besides, DH would be bored out of his mind!   :lol:   But thanks for the idea!  BTW, I've been meaning to tell you for a long time, I have always absolutely LOVED that photo of your DD!  I think if I had a DD someday even half as cute as her, I'd be a VERY proud mama!   :wink:

[kate585]

I will go against the other posts here and say, "Go for it!"  If you can pump enough food for him and make sure he is comfortable with the bottle, I think it'll be good for you to get out and hang out with your girlfriends.  We just got back from a night at a B & B.  It was SOOO hard for me to leave Ryan, but once I got there, I relaxed for the first time in months!  I knew he was safe with my MIL and FIL and I got to turn off the constant chatter of, "Is he sleeping?  I wonder how long he'll sleep?  I hope he eats well when he wakes up."...etc.  When I got home, I was never so excited to see anyone in my life!      I couldn't wait until I could squeeze his little body again.  It was a nice, short break, and fun for everyone (especially the in-laws!).  So, I'd say, don't feel bad about leaving or going.  Do what's right for you.  You have to listen to your heart and do what you think is best.  If you really want to go, but stay home because you feel that's what you SHOULD do, you might resent your son a bit.  On the other hand, if you go, but your heart's not in it, your weekend will be long and hard and a waste of time.   Hope this doesn't sound cold.  I think you can be a good mom and take time to take care of yourself, too.  Good luck!

[annamum]

I think it is hard for a baby to suddenly not have his mom around, a mom who is everything to a baby. I never left my baby for more than one hour and it was only when I had to, because of circumstances. Some babies may tollerate better absence of mother, some don't. Especially breastfed infants are so emotionally attached to their moms that a 3 day seperation can be a shock to them. I personally think that it is not in the best interest of a 8 month old to have his mom away for 3 days. I know my opinion on this will not be particularly popular on this board, but I think in case of breastfeeding relationship mother is indispensible.