Napless in Chicago - Mom going bananas (Warning, long post!)

[MyBella]

I know I've had a few posts about this, but I'm completely lost and frustrated right now.  So any advice on my questions is welcome.

Facts: 6 month old DD.  Great eater, great night sleeper, bad napper from the get-go.  Big success was extending naps from 20 min to 45.  Goes through some weeks when she actually might take somewhat consistent length of naps, but just when I think we may be getting somewhere, back to the nap mess again.  Never tried PU/PD since she wakes up happy from naps even though still tired.

Things I've tried: Around 4 mos started extending awake time upto 2 hrs, had some success with lengthening the first nap, but not consistently.  So we've been putting her down based on cues.  Along the way, to be honest kinda gave up on the nap routine, because I was doing things the same exactly everyday for months w no results.  She seems to have a mind of her own.

Based on responses to my last post of few weeks ago, I  was hoping maybe the naps would resolve themselves because dd is now 6 mos old.  No sign of this miracle yet, and things are getting worse.  I started again trying to extend awake time but no luck.  We're back to either the 20-30 min naps, or no naps whatsoever!  So now I'm really confused and evaluating everything:

1) Should I wake her up always at the same time?  Sometimes she wants to sleep in due to the explanation in (2), and due to lack of naps I lean towards letting her sleep in the morning since she seems to get her best sleep at night.  We are VERY consistent with her bedtime routine and sleep time, plus she's frankly exhausted by 6pm.  She wants to go down at 6pm even if she wakes up at 7am (her regular wake up time being 6am).

2) Now she's up in the middle of the night playing, getting on her belly - and needing me to turn her over and give her the binky to get back to sleep.  Last night I heard her at 3:30am but did not go in because she can usually pet herself back to sleep.  By 4:20am she was getting louder, not crying, wide awake playing and finally decided to intervene.  Should I just leave her to fall back asleep - no matter how long she's awake for in the middle of the night?  I used a positioner for a couple of weeks which kept her from turning onto her belly lately she's made a joke of that too.  I often find the positioner crammed into one corner and my lo as far away from it as possible facing the opposite direction.  Two things worry me about this: 1) she's wide awake playing at 3:30-4:00 am, not learning to just put her head down or turn back on to her back (she's always been a good night sleeper).  And 2) I'm having to give her the binky to get her back to sleep. 

3) Is 6pm too early a bedtime?  We've tried postponing that as late as 7pm but found that no matter when she goes to sleep she wants to wake up right around 6am, so I've opted for getting her as much night sleep as possible.  Could this be impacting daytime naps at all?

4) Should I just try to establish 2 nap times at 9:00am and 2:00pm as some people have suggested, no matter how long she slept for the first nap?  Currently I try to keep her up for 3 hours after waking for the day which usually delivers a 30 min nap, then we're further along in the day with even less of a nap and less time to recover.  Plus now she's too tired to stay up until 2:00.  What should I do, how long should I keep her up if the first nap is a short one?  My strategy has been to try to get her to a total of 3 hrs of daytime sleep via as many naps as it takes, but I can barely get 2hrs nowadays...

5) How much should I rely on the binky in all of this?  She has finally found her thumb but not using it to self soothe.  I'm too frustrated with the nap situation to take it away, and don't give it to her during awake times.  And she does not wake up looking for it, it's just that when she's awake at 4:00am or grumpy, it's an easy fix. 

6) Finally, I'm having a really tough time getting her to be completely calm before naps.  This is true for bedtime as well even though we do everything the same as we used to.  She's so active, alert, and strong so I just go through the routine, lay her in the crib wide awake (and often banging her legs around for fun) which then takes her about 10-15 minutes to fall asleep on her own (sometimes w binky, sometimes not).

7) Should I just give up on EASY, and just try to change myself to live with DD's chaos? 

Thanks.

[zelkad]

Hi....six months seems to be such a tough age!  Our little guy turned 6 months yesterday.  I just thought I'd let you know what we've been doing on some of the same issues you mentioned.

1.  ROLLING  -  at first we were putting him at the bottom of the crib because we thought he wouldn't be as restricted (he could inch upward and have his space to readjust in the middle of the night)  This worked for a while but now that he's sooo active we've done the opposite.  We now have his head near the bumper pad so he can't move up.  We also have a baby pillow on either side of him....kind of the same idea as a positioner but much more effective and safe because he is older.  Now we find that he rolls slightly onto his side almost hugging the pillow and stays there.  He USUALLY doesn't fight it in order to roll all the way over.

2.  "binky" - 4 days ago we decided to try having him go to sleep without the paci.  We tried this only because we noticed he was sucking his thumb a bit more when we would lay him in the crib.  We never planned on getting rid of it this soon (like your dd, he would only want it at sleep times so i never considered it a problem)  It was only becoming a problem because I was starting to have to wait in his room until he fell asleep in order to give it back in case it dropped.  Also, he began having the dreaded 3:30 am wakings (exactly like what you described whereas before he never woke for the paci) .  The first two nights after taking away the paci, he still woke up for almost two hours but eventually went back without my intervention.  The next two nights he only stirred and mumbled for about 15 min.   So now for his naps and bedtimes, I let him fuss (not cry) but whine until he falls asleep (about 10 minutes or so).  I find that he is working it out on his own (but yes, now he is sucking his thumb more)  However, in the middle of the night, the thumb is always there but the paci isn't.  I think getting rid of the paci so far has really helped but then again it's only been 4 days.

3. Naps

-Have you read the sleep interview that's posted at the top of the forum...really good!  When our ds was napping only 45 min, I would go in at about 35 minutes and place my hands on his side (he is a side sleeper though)  I would hold them there until he would start coming out of his sleep cycle.  So instead of him awaking he would drift back because the pressure of my hands never allowed him to jolt back to consciousness.  However, now he always naps 1.5 hours 2 x day because I think when he stirs at the 45 min mark he can self soothe w/o the paci , whereas before I would extend his 45 min naps to 1.5 hours using this method.

4.  Bedtime

-I'm no expert but I think his nights sound fine (6-6).  I wonder though if increasing nap time during the day would take away this beautiful stretch of long sleep.  However, I know naps are soooo necessary for mom!  You should check out the posting.."Could naps be ruining nightime sleep?"  I think this is the title.  Anyhow, it was from a day or two ago.


Good luck and I hope you can get something of value for this!

Zelka