Author Topic: Oh so frustrated..... please help (or just listen)  (Read 1966 times)

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Offline CaedensMama

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Oh so frustrated..... please help (or just listen)
« on: August 23, 2005, 14:42:27 pm »
I am feeling so frustrated :x  :x  :x  :x  :x
I seem to be getting no where in getting Caeden to nap regularly, go down withour crying forever - like 20-30 minutes and to sleep longer then a half hour maybe 45 minutes.
I know he gets overtired easy and can stay up about an hour, hour and fifteen minutes between naps. So I start putting him down about an hour after he wakes up. We usually talk quietly with him up on my shoulder, swaddle him and continue quiet talk or sometimes I just hold him. He often turns and wants his paci after a couple minutes and then I hold him and shush. He is often crying though either at the swaddle point or after holding for a couple minutes. I have been trying quiet music in the background the last few days as well. Also hoping this may help put him to sleep and transition him thru his jolts. He jolts very consistently at 10, 20, 30 and 45 minutes and often an hour as well.
I have been trying to lay him down as he starts to drift off, eyes fluttering and getting heavy. However this has only worked once. Every other time he starts screaming, gets out of his swaddle, spits the paci out and screams. I have tried re-wrapping and giving him back his paci while in the cradle and shushing and holding my hand on his chest and not picking him up again but this also has only worked once or twice. Most of the time he continues screaming and just gets himself more and more worked up. We are usually at 20-25 minutes into getting to go to sleep at this point.
If I pick him back up again and hold him, he will usually quiet within a few minutes and start falling asleep again. At this point it is has been totally how I am doing on what I do next. I will sometimes try laying him back down again, however this usually results in more screams. If I hold him till he is totally asleep - about another 15 minutes on average, I can often get him down without crying, but he will wake after 30 minutes, maybe 45 if I am lucky. I have been spending many of his complete naps sitting at side watching him and trying to catch him at his jolts to put him back to sleep. This usually works up to the 45 minute point when he wakes and I can rarely get him back to sleep. When he passes this point  he is up at an hour. I think he has sleep over an hour nap maybe two or three times the last couple weeks. If I get him past an hour I consider the nap a success and just move on. When he wakes after 45 minutes and won't go back down I have been putting him in his swing or holding him quietly and hoping to keep him calm, maybe more relaxed for most of his "nap" time.
Hei s currently crying in his cradle - this is the longest I have left him cry alone - he actually quieted down for a good five minutes and played and is now crying again. I had been trying for an hour and half to get him to go down, nursed him again once and still no sleeping.
Any advice or suggestions would be great - mostly I am just venting - I couldn't stand it anymore - I am feeling so frustrated and I don't know what else to do. I know he is so tired and I cannot get him to sleep.
I don't want him to develop a dislike for the cradle by letting him cry, I just don't know what else to do and I had to walk away for a few minutes.

 :?
Jen
Mama to:
Caeden (6/05)
Colm (3/07)
Alannah (11/08)
Tadhg (8/10)
and Ailish due Sept 16, 2011

Offline horseymum

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Oh so frustrated..... please help (or just listen)
« Reply #1 on: August 23, 2005, 15:55:40 pm »
you don't say what he is like at night - is it the same or worse? I have had similar problems and thought my son (4 months) would develop a dislike of his cot.  Sometimes i just lie him in it when i am tidying his room etc so it is not always a battle (with lights on etc so he knows it is not for sleeping.  Have also put a toy in his crib that he can hit and amazingly it seems to help, especially early in the morning, i sometimes hear it rattling about 5am then he just nods back off to sleep! I have also tried just concentrating on doing the 'right thing'  for one nap a day - this week i am really working on his morning nap, and not going out at all around then. I hope things get better soon!

Offline horseymum

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Oh so frustrated..... please help (or just listen)
« Reply #2 on: August 23, 2005, 15:58:10 pm »
maybe try putting him down a bit earlier too? I know i had been keeping my son up a bit too long

Offline Lindsay79

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Oh so frustrated..... please help (or just listen)
« Reply #3 on: August 23, 2005, 19:28:53 pm »
Hi Jennifer
Hang in there, its hard work isnt it??  It got to the point with me where I dreaded nap times.  My 4mo dd never went down without a fight and rarely went past 45mins. So I have started pu/pd today and already have seen a difference.  As my dd is easily over stimulated I take her to her room about 20mins before her nap time and darken the room and lie with her on a blanket and play with a cuddly toy with a lullaby on, it seems to calm her and makes the transition into her cot a little easier.

HTH

Lindsay

Offline Aarismom

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Oh so frustrated..... please help (or just listen)
« Reply #4 on: August 23, 2005, 21:16:29 pm »
Mine naps pretty well now and sleeps very well at night and I *still* dread naps because she gets off kilter every few weeks and starts inching down to 45 minute naps. (usually around growth spurts).

How old is your lo?

If older than 2 months, first I would try an earlier bedtime (between 6 and 8) to get him more rested at night (which makes him more relaxed and ready for naps during the day). You will still have to do the feedings (and treat them as night feedings) until he decides he doesn't need them anymore, but he'll be more rested. Then, I would try putting him to bed a little earlier for naps. You say he gets tired after an hour to an hour and 15 minutes, I would start the wind down period after 40 or 45 minutes, as was suggested. This may mean you will have to start winding him down for naps right after a feeding...but take heart, in a few months he'll be awake longer, and you'll be able to play with him more. Keep up with soothing back to sleep when he wakes.

It may take a few weeks to get him rested enough to start taking longer naps, just keep it up and keep reminding yourself, this too shall pass, and, I am doing the best I can, because you are!

*HUGS*
Sonya =P


Texbook/Angel LO
April 26, 2005

Offline CaedensMama

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Oh so frustrated..... please help (or just listen)
« Reply #5 on: August 23, 2005, 21:45:47 pm »
Thank you all for the advice and encouragement!

horseymum - Nights are good. Sleeps a good 6-8 strech and wakes between 1-3 and then again 4-6, usually up for the day between 6 and 7. Cannot complain here. He usually nurses for 10-15 minutes and then back down quickly.

I will try the suggestions of putting him down earlier and see if that helps. This afternoon he ate and pretty much went right to sleep. Fell asleep nursing and opened his eyes slightly as I put him down. I sat in there and he woke up  and I just put my hand on his chest and he went back to sleep - took about 20 minutes though! At least he wasn't crying and he did go back to sleep!  :D He is just waking up now and slept for an hour after going back down, had slept for about 30 minutes before he woke. So - that was a great nap! We'll shoot for an early bedtime and pray for a good day tomorrow!

Thanks again for the encouragement! I am feeling better then I was this morning! Maybe in a week or two he will have this nap thing down and I can nap with him occassionally! It's hard to do when it gets broken up and I am in a worse mood if I only sleep for 20-30 minutes - I really need an hour or so to be effective!
Jen
Mama to:
Caeden (6/05)
Colm (3/07)
Alannah (11/08)
Tadhg (8/10)
and Ailish due Sept 16, 2011

Offline CaedensMama

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Oh so frustrated..... please help (or just listen)
« Reply #6 on: August 23, 2005, 22:32:22 pm »
Oh - aarismom - he is 10 weeks - 11 weeks on Sat. Are we due for another growth spurt?

How long does this "sleep training" take? I am so ready to see some fruit from the working on it!

Somewhere here I read about day and night sleep being totally different - how are they different? Caeden does so good at night I cannot figure out why he has so much trouble during the day!
Jen
Mama to:
Caeden (6/05)
Colm (3/07)
Alannah (11/08)
Tadhg (8/10)
and Ailish due Sept 16, 2011

Offline Aarismom

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Oh so frustrated..... please help (or just listen)
« Reply #7 on: August 24, 2005, 17:45:06 pm »
Growth spirts occur based on your baby's actual due date, and regularly at the 4, 12, 16, 20, etc. week intervals (roughly once a month, although some are more productive than others it seems, but that's only from my own experience :P).

And yeah, for some weird biological reason night sleep and day sleep are regulated differently in the body (I know it's in part due to the chemicals and their amounts your body releases at night vs. day, and your circadian rhythm). That's why a lot of babies (and adults, for that matter) seem to sleep better at night than during the day. However, one affects the other. The more rested your lo is at night, the better they take naps during the day, and vice versa. The more rested your lo is overall, the less chance there is of night wakings. Doesn't rule it out completely, but at least you reduce the chance.

Finally, sleep training, depending on when you start it and stick with it, and depending on your baby, can take from 3 days up to 1 or 2 weeks, roughly. It took mine about 2 weeks I think, but that's because I wasn't being completely consistant and there was a lot going on. She still doesn't sleep well outside her crib, which is a big issue. That's the next thing to tackle *sigh*.

You should start seeing results though within the first few nights as your lo learns the ropes. It may not be blatently obvious at first, but if you keep a  sleep journal (which *really* helped me) you should see some results. The first few nights are always the hardest. And even after you feel you've succeeded, expect to have to take a few steps backward occasionally, as your lo changes patterns and cues on you.

*HUGS*
Sonya =P


Texbook/Angel LO
April 26, 2005

Offline CaedensMama

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Oh so frustrated..... please help (or just listen)
« Reply #8 on: August 24, 2005, 18:46:44 pm »
Well, I would say we are experiencing a growth spurt as well - he is not quite 11 weeks, but was 10 days over his due date, so that puts him almost exactly at 12 weeks!
Thanks!
Jen
Mama to:
Caeden (6/05)
Colm (3/07)
Alannah (11/08)
Tadhg (8/10)
and Ailish due Sept 16, 2011

Offline Missy Norment

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Oh so frustrated..... please help (or just listen)
« Reply #9 on: August 24, 2005, 18:57:59 pm »
I have the exact problem as Caedans mama and my baby is 3 1/2 months old as well as having reflux.  He will only take long naps in his swing and I know this is going to be a hard habit to break.  Also, my apartment is so darn hot that I have to go to my in-laws house during the day, so he sleeps in different places all the time.  I don't know what to do.  I cannot even begin to start new sleep training as he is in a different place twice per day. 

Also, he does this twisting thing when he gets fussy and it puts him in a bad sleep position so he cannot sleep.  Does anybody else have this twisting problem?

Thanks for the encouragement though.  I've only tried about 3 or 4 days of sleep training and just gave up.  I guess I need to try longer.  He sleeps pretty good at night with one waking and then up between 5:30 and 7:00.  Does anybody have any encouragement or suggestions for me?

Also, we are moving to a new location in about 2 months and at that time I want to start this process because he'll be in the same place all day.  Is that too late????