Will not let me leave room!

[aguella]

My 10 month old used to be a great sleeper. I could put her down in her crib, give her her paci and dolly, give her a kiss and say good-night - she would fall asleep on her own within 10 minutes. Different story now ...
She cries when I leave the room. She wants me to stay in the room until she falls asleep - and that now seems to take forever. I start out with the same bedtime ritual of bath, bedtime story, prayer and kisses. I put her down and she gets up or sits up, I put her back down. She thinks it is play time. She bangs her legs, spits her paci out of the crib, throws her doll around (but all the while I know she is tired - eyes are red, she rubs them). This has gone on for an hour + for the past few weeks (although we've had an ear infection / fever on some of those days - so we won't count them all). If I lay on the floor next to the crib, she will sit up and play with her doll, get up a few times, sit down, play some more, until she tires herself out and then finally go to sleep BUT I CANNOT LEAVE THE ROOM or she will cry, scream, etc.
I know that I am confusing issues by using the pu/pd method as well as lying next to her crib while she falls asleep. But I just don't know how to get her to sleep if I don't stay in the room with her. HELP .............. :cry:  :cry:

[harismam]

hi aguella,

i have the very same problem with my 14 month old son, although i can only blame myself for this, when he was younger i myself stayed in the room with him until he slept, so of course he expects it now .....i suppose we all make mistakes!, anyway i put him down usually around 8 ish and like you can be in that room for 1 hour plus depending on the mood, he playes, he sits up, he stands up, he kicks, and i STAND by the cot, yes i know i am crazy, but i am having extreme difficulty breaking this, for the last few nights, i have positioned a chair outside the bedroom door and i am sitting on that OUTSIDE the room, so that hopefully i can graudually get him in the room on his own! if i say to him, lie down and go to sleep, he will lie down but ignores the sleep part somehow!!! until he is so tired he cannot keep his eyes open!!....sorry, i dont have any real suggestions for you but i am hoping someone out there somewhere will...
take care,

suzanne.

[harismam]

hi again,

i was thinking later on that the most probable cause of this is developmental plus/minus teething, infection, it only takes something very small to set a pattern like this off , she also wants to play more at 10 months, she is learning new things every day, and now she is learning that she can have mammy in the room while she sleeps! i would try the method of going in/calming her staying few minutes and leaving the room, if she cries or screams, wait few minutes and go back in, calm her again and leave the room again,keep doing this till she sleeps at least this way, you are not standing in the room by her side so to speak, and as she had been so good prior to this, if you persevere i think you can get her back of track. in my case it will be much much harder as this is what my son is used to, good luck, let me know how you get on.

suzanne.

[Johno & Aurelias Mum]

Hi

I know exactly where you're at.  I got stuck in the room trying to get DS over  some sep anx a few months ago.

That is something to consider by the way - what's the daytime behaviour like?  Are they clingy to you?  If they are then you have to deal with this in a more gentle way.

However, if its a habit you know you made, you have to deal with it by being really consistent.  Do your routine, make sure that when you are standing over them they are concentrating on sleep then go.  Stand outside the door and go back in when they are crying.  Say the same thing, over and over again, every time you go in and over about 5 nights it works.

I had to go back and do a little of this a week ago after DH put him to bed for a few nights and stayed in until he was asleep   :evil:

Ours is made more complicated by a squeaky staircase so just when I think I've made it and head downstairs, the staircase lets me down and wakes him again!

Anyway, good luck.