3 mo old driving me crazy! Please help!

[mommytsa]

My DS is 3 mo. old and lately has been doing all kinds of strange things.  His naps are getting very inconsistent, and he hasn't been eating well (1-2 oz at a time during the day of EBM, only 5 minutes of nursing while he flirts with me in the evenings, but then he acts like he's starving all night long).  But then, after eating only a tiny bit, acts like he's full and life is wonderful.  He has been waking up at night A LOT, acting like he's hungry (8 times last night. I fed him twice, DH got up with him after that).  Dh mostly just kept plugging the paci back in and pat/sh.  We have tried PU/PD, but that only seems to make things worse, and DH doesn't have the tolerance for being with him while he cries, so if we have to use pu/pd, it will probably be pu/pd with me and CIO with DH.

Here's some background info:  He is exclusively breastfed, but has taken a bottle before (early on due to latch problems, now because I go to work).  He uses a paci to sleep, though when calm (not when trying to go to sleep), he sucks his fists through his blanket.  He is still swaddled (sometimes with one arm out), because he gets really jerky and wakes himself up and can't settle if I don't swaddle.  We have been on the 3 hour easy (the sample one listed above).  Two weeks ago we went on vacation and he got all messed up schedule-wise, but that seemed to be sorting out well 3 days ago or so.  He's already had his 3 month growth spurt (while on vacation-that's part of what messed him up in the first place).  I started back to work on Tuesday, so there has been a change in his days (he's with Dad all day rather than me).

I have a few theories, but don't really know what to do. 
1.  This is regression from the schedule change (back to Easy)
2.  His growth spurt is just now ending and he's still all weird from that.
3.  He needs to go to the 4 hour Easy.
4.  He misses his mommy and the way dad does things is different, so he's adjusting.
and 5.  All of the above.

At this point, I feel like the only thing I can control is his EASY schedule, since I can't stay home from work or help him adjust back to EASY or change growth spurts.  Today we're going to try a 3.5 hour Easy and see if that seems to help him at all to at least eat more during the day.  PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!

If you can think of ANYTHING else that might be causing this, or other things I can do, I would be so appreciative!

[Lucysmom]

Hey Theresa - Can't post for long here but wanted to say that maybe you should have a look at the book around pg. 228 and see if it seems that you should be switching your cutie to the 4 hour easy.  It sounds like it to me but I am no expert and my baby is formula fed.  It is so hard to figure out what to do when there are so many changes going on all at once!  When it rains it pours I guess.  You could also have a look at the thread I started in the naps forum entitled "Need a plan desperately". What we are all experiencing seems to be quite common for this age.  In a nutshell, I am moving my dd to the 4 hour easy gradually as indicated in the book and am adding a light feed before each nap to up her calories during the day.  She won't take any more at her regular feed times.  HTH!

[Livingmom]

My dd will be 3 mo. next week and I can empathize with everything changing and the routine getting messed up. Our dd did great on a 3 hour EASY plan throughout the summer--but this past week my dh and I both went back to work (we're teachers) and she started daycare--which has gone well, but will take some time to help the daycare provider to understand and follow her EASY schedule.

We are strongly considering moving toward a 4 hour easy plan--because DD doesn't take more than 2-3 oz. at a feed. Fortunately she does pretty well at night--usually only one waking for a feed. She is formula fed. We are guessing that she may not be hungry every 3 hours and that is why she isn't taking that much. Are we on the right track?

Plus the 4 hour EASY will help with her nap times when she is at daycare--I hope.

Good luck. I hope that things get back to "normal" soon. Sorry I didn't have any advice, but it sounds similar to what we are experiencing at the moment.

[Lucysmom]

Hi - I wanted to see how the both of you are doing.  I am moving Lucy to the 4 hour easy and it is NOT easy!!!!!!!  Because she is extra tired from being awake longer, she is harder to put to down.  She has started to make these animal-like noises when she cries and she shrieks now too.  It is truly awful.  In the book it says to do pu/pd to transition to the 4 hour easy, but I don't know if we can stomach hearing her totally flip out.  And today she was up at 8am (totally unusual) and so we are totally off schedule.

I am hoping things are going better with you guys!

[mommytsa]

Actually, things have been getting a little better with Aaron.  Right now we're on the 3.5 hour Easy.  I went straight to that rather than mess with trying to extend things just a little at a time, mostly because I figured if he was going to scream and take 30 minutes to go down for his naps, I'd just keep him up that amount of time.  It's working so well, I dont' know if I want to move him all the way to the 4 hour EASY right now, but I guess we'll see how it's going in a few weeks.

Believe it or not, he switched SO easily (I know I'm jinxing myself by saying that, but oh well).  Today he fell asleep in the car at EXACTLY his naptime WITHOUT A PACI and with no crying!!! (we were running a little behind at the grocery store and just couldn't make it all the home in time for his nap). Of course, he woke up once we got home and wouldn't go back down without it, but I'll claim every little victory.

I'm not expecting any miracles tonight especially because my IL's were over for dinner and he went to bed 45 min late without a bath first, but any fewer than 6 wakings is an improvement from last night.

Lucy's mom- I don't know how to help with a LO that doesn't want to stay awake longer.  Honestly, mine can be up for about 4 hours straight and is totally ok with it until you try to put him down.  Believe it or not, that was what sent me on the hunt for a program like BW.  A 2 month old that sleeps through the night is great, unless he only gets those 10 hours of sleep (no naps) and gets really cranky during the day. :roll: I know that doesn't help, but it's nice to know there's someone on the opposite side of the coin, so to speak.

Living mom- How is the transition to daycare going?  I don't know if I'm the only one who actually logs EASY on a regular basis, but you might want to try having daycare fillout an EASY log for you if they're willing to do it.  I'm attaching the one I made up for Aaron, since I actually wrote out his "ideal day" schedule on the top.  I know if I were a daycare provider I'd like to see something like that for a baby whose parents had their LO on a schedule.  (I'm a teacher too, the early wake-up is an essential part of getting me to school on time-7:30am). 

Well, good night ladies, and good luck.  Hope tomorrow is better than yesterday!

[Livingmom]

Hey Lucysmom and mommytsa--thanks for the note. For Zoey's daycare routine--I actually bought a notebook and everymorning last week when Zoey woke up I wrote out her ideal schedule on one side and left the other side blank and labeled it REALITY  :wink: My daycare provider was very open to the idea--but it will take some time to get her used to how Zoey is used to doing things. For example--last thursday she wrote in the note book--"Zoey fell asleep while eating so I put her in the crib and she woke up. So then I put her in the swing and she fell asleep. I transfered her to the crib, but she woke up. Then she fell asleep in the bouncer and woke up again when I tried to put her in the crib." You get the idea. . .

So I tried to explain that Zoey is VERY capable of falling asleep on her own in the crib and tried to explain how we do it at home. It will all come together sometime. Lucky for us Zoey is an angel baby and doesn't get to bent out of shape about anything.

As for the schedule--I am actually trying a 4 hour EASY today to see how it goes. Zoey slept through the night (8pm-7am w/ a dream feed at 11pm  ) She woke on her own at 7am, ate and made it until 9:15 when she went down for a nap with no problems. She  stirred a little at the 40 minute mark--but put herself back to sleep. We will have to see how the rest of the day goes.

My dh and I are so happy with the BW methods. We really feel like it has helped her and us get a good start at this parenting business. 

[mommytsa]

Well, I bragged too soon and somebody decided I needed to learn the error of my ways.  Today has been pretty tough.  DS, who before BW and when on vacation, can stay up and be perfectly content for 4 hours (until you finally realize, "oops, he hasn't had a nap today") has been tired and cranky every 1.25 hours today.  He has refused to nap at all for me, and after a half hour of screaming, DH has been able to go in and put him down in about 5 minutes.  Good that he went to sleep, but frustrating for me.  This is the same sort of thing he did when we first introduced BW, so I know it will get better in a couple of days, but that doesn't make it any easier now.

I'm hoping maybe his change inattitude is just the after effect of staying up too late playing with grandma last night.  Maybe if I put him to bed early tonight it will all balance out, and everything will be just fine tomorrow.

Living mom, I totally agree that BW gives you confidence in your own parenting.  A number of my friends are pregnant, and I am going to get them the book for their baby showers.  Much more useful than 90% of the "stuff" that you usually get, because BW can help you get more sleep. 

[Livingmom]

Sorry to hear that your lo is having a tough day.

Zoey's day was a little tough too. I think I may have been trying to push the 4 hour EASY a little bit too much. I missed some tired cues around 12:30 and when I tried to put her down for her nap at 1:00 she fussed a lot and only slept for 45 minutes. Instead of trying to get her to sleep longer, DH took her out of her crib and brought her out with us. She took an hour catnap in her crib from 4pm to 5pm--so that helped a little and bed time was a little more tricky than it has been in the past.  She finally fell asleep a little bit after 8pm tonight.

So Mommytsa--I was looking at your EASY routine that you made for your daycare person. Does your lo follow that routine pretty closely? My routine changes from day to day based on when Zoey wakes up. If she wakes up at 7am, we start our EASY routine from that time. If she is up at 6am we start at 6. I don't really know if that is the best way to do it--but being home all summer it worked for us. Now that school is starting we will probably fall into a little bit more of a set routine.

[mommytsa]

For the most part Aaron is usually within about a half hour of that routine, especially because his daycare person is DAD!      So dad knows how much of a little bear he is when his schedule is wonky (but for some strange reason can't seem to just remeber it, and will lose it if I don't have it written down in 40 different places throughout the house. 

As far as his wake times, usually it's about the same because I will go in and wake him up for that first round, but sometimes we have to be a little flexible with the activity and sleep times in the first EASY rotation because he won't go back to sleep.  Pretty much the only thing that I try to be really anal about is the times he eats.  I figure if I have to put him down a little early because he was up early, he'll play a little before he eats and then we'll be close enough.  And on days like today, I just tell myself that the schedule is for an "ideal" day, and as we all know, an ideal day never really happens.

HTH!  And good luck starting school. My (school) kids start tomorrow, so I'm in for a long, nervous day, and had better get to sleep now.