10 month old sleep issues

[mom2clayeve]

My daughter is 10 1/2 months and I have mostly rocked or nursed her to sleep (accidental Parenting).  I was able to put her to bed awake until teething and illness took place a few months ago.  I have a bedtime routine.  She goes to bed between 7:30 and 8pm every night and always opens her eyes and goes right back to sleep.  Usually she'll sleep 10-11 hours straight and has been for 3 nights in a row.  Naps are difficult.  I have a hard time figuring out when to put her down.  I look for sleep cues, but I am having a lot of difficulty.  I used to rock her until she just shut her eyes, but now she won't let me put her in bed until she is completely asleep (after 45 minutes) and then only sleep 30-45 minutes.  According to the book, most likely she is over-stimulated, but I am fearful of attempting PU/PD at the wrong time and what if she wakes 30-45 minutes after?  I have a 3 year old also and I am feeling very guilty leaving him alone while tending to my daughter.  For the last three days she has only slept 30-60 minutes during the day!

Any help will be greatly appreciated.  This is becoming very upsetting for I know she needs so much more sleep.

Thank you

[KatieG]

I have just posted a very similar problem.
I am starting to think it must be something with that age.
The problem is, we do whatever we can to get them to sleep but in doing so create bad habits that then have to either be broken or lived with.
I used to feel so in control of our routine but now just dont know what I am doing!!
Having neighbours so close also makes it hard for me to let my boy cry in the middle of the night to resettle himself which is what I know I need to do.
PU/PD became a bit of a game to my boy becasue he knows I will pick him up if he cries so I am trying to use what Tresillian In Australia recommend which is to let them cry for 5 mins, if still crying go in, pat and leave for 10 mins, if still crying go in and pat and leave for 15 mins....
If the crying is stopping and starting, they are tryng to resettle themselves so best to leave them as long as you can - 15 or 20 mins. You are the best person to decide of the crying is hysterical or just crying.
It does work as they do learn to settle themselves rather than be settled in your arms....but like anyhting, it takes time so maybe you need to find someone that can hlep you out with your toddler while you spend a few days trying to change the habits of your baby....

Katie

[Johno & Aurelias Mum]

Hi to you both.  I don't wish to sound like I'm critising but what Katie is suggesting is controlled crying and that's not a method recommended by the BW community.  Tracy always believed that that broke the bond of trust you have built up with your LO.

If you would like to follow the BW method, I would suggest you both get the third book which has a strategy for introducing the EASY routine for babies at various ages.

I think with a 10.5 month the best way of starting off is to look at your routine now, look at your baby and you use your judgement of when naptimes should be.  You may be aiming for one am and one pm.  You decide when they are and do PU/PD to start the routine

I know part of the BW plan is to watch for cues but with an older baby who's not used to this new way, its going to be really hard to read so I think Tracy recommends a bit of clock watching to get you started then once you are on board, watch for signals.

HTH

[Maddy's Mum]

Hi there - I would suggest that with a baby of around 10 months old, if they are able to pull themselves up and stand - let them stand up and just use the PD part of PU/PD - this will help because - you will not break your back by keep picking up an older baby and also - they will wear themselves out faster by standing up!

Mads had sleep problems develop at around 10 months and we started havig some unexpected night wakings and PU/PD or rather PD was the way we got back on track. Mads used to stand up and I would lay her gently back down again and say 'Mads is time for bed...' she would turn herself over and get up on her hands and knees and stand up again and we would repeat the PD process - I lost count past 150 PDs !! But I knew when I had started to win the battle when she started to just sit up instead of stand - and just keep doing the same, as soon as they sit up - gently lay them back down.

In reference to when to put her down for naps - as a really rough guide - Mads had about 2.5 - 3 hours awake time at 10 months (can't remember exactly which) and I used to go by the clock as to when to put her down for naps - are you able to take a note of DDs sleep habits for a few days and get an idea of when she is most happiest to go down for naps without being overtired. Then when you have identified her awake time, you can work on extending her naps when you know she is waking because of being overtired/overstimulated when she goes for a nap.

I hope that helps! Good luck
Dee
x

[mom2clayeve]

Thank you all for offering your input.  Last night my daughter fell asleep while nursing, so I put her to bed for the night and she did her usual, she opened her eyes and went right to sleep.

Although, she woke up at 1:30am crying, I waited a bit, went in and picked her up.  She calmed immediately with rocking so I started PU/PD with her.  I PD as soon as she was calm.  She does not pull herself up to stand yet.  I did this until 4:15am and I caved!  I was in tears.  We kept my husband awake, but fortunately my son slept through it.  I rocked her and she was out in five minutes and slept until 8:15am.

I realize I must start off putting her down for the night with PU/PD and do this if she wakes in the middle of the night, but would it be horrible if I just rocked her for naps?  I don't have a lot of time during the day because I don't have anyone to look after my son aside from Sunday's when my husband is home.
Would this situation be too confusing for her?   PU/PD at night, rocking for naps?

I am struggling with changing our bedtime routine because she goes down so well, I am very nervous about starting PU/PD at this time, especially when I had so much trouble last night.  She only wakes in the middle of the night occasionally and it is usually when teeth or an ear infection are on the way.

Thank you again.  I so much want my little girl to sleep well and keep the peace in the family.

[Laura~Cooper's Mom]

We had trouble with our little guy starting with teething, illness and vacation and we ended up accidental parenting our way to many night wakings.  As your lo begins to pull up and those developmental things happen she may not go down so easily and may wake up several times in the night.  That seems to be what happened to us. Please DON"T make the mistakes we made because as they get older they are harder to break.   :oops: In my opinion if you do pu/pd (but mostly doing the pd part--even if she doesn't pull up to standing postion and is only sitting up) for nighttime you won't need to rock her for naps.  She will be in a routine and just go down for you.  I skimmed all these posts quickly and you might have said this already but does she have a blanket or animal that she sleeps with?  Do you have a sleep routine?  These have both been lifesavers to us.  You just need to be consistent and it will come.  We have been doing it only 6 days again to retrain him and it's almost perfect (knock on wood) now.  He hasn't woken up in the night in 5 days and has gone down just a little drowsy and is asleep in minutes.  It sure does make for a happier mommy and daddy as well as baby. HTH

[mom2clayeve]

Thanks for responding Laura!

We do have a bedtime routine of bath/nurse/down.  Before bedtime she usually falls asleep while nursing, but when I pick her up she opens her eyes and gets herself back to sleep.

Naps are different.  We nurse, rock and I put her in bed asleep    Which is why naptimes are hard. 

I just need to make the decision to stick with PU/PD.  I just became so drained after working with her over 2 hours last night I gave up.  I can handle 10, 20, 30, even 60 minutes, but 2 hours was too much.  Then I began to wonder if something was wrong!

Do you always make sure your lo is drowsy before being put down?  I think this would ease her into sleep a lot better.

She is usually always asleep by 7:45 on the dot.  Naps have been all over the place because her wake-up time in the morning has been inconsistant.

Thank you again!

Kim