OMG,...please help...I'm crying right now!!!!

[marylou]

HI,

I need help please please please.

I am trying to get my little guy to take longer than 30 min naps and have read Tracy's book. 

He went down pretty quickly...(after I breast fed him again for 5 min- :oops: )....but then woke up shreiking after 30 min!!  I am going insane.

I know that I am lucky as he sleeps through the night....8pm until 5 or 6 am,...but these 30 minute naps are driving me mental.

This is what happened today..

515am up and breast fed
545-700 play time
700-715 wind down and breast fed 5 min
715 745 nap and then woke up shrieking bloody murder
745-830 :shock:  :shock:  :shock: p/u p/d..shh/pat while he got increasingly hysterical.....bloodshot eyes...turning purple...me crying while his head was buried in my chest etc..........he is on 3 hour easy--cannot go too long as is breastfed and I have supply issues....did not sleep....would calm down and then wind up again......was beside himself and so was I......I continued this for 45 min and then brought him downstairs to eat...he had a full feed
830-850...breastfed 10 min each side
fell asleep!!!!!!!!! and is now in crib and has been for last 15 minutes...as I write this....

My questions are:

what am I doing wrong???  I know that I should not be feeding right before nap time...but lately he has been rejecting his dummy and it seems to upset him more.....he has started to crank his head and pull on my blouse...so I am thinking he is hungry....he will usually take only one side (normal feeding is both)......so I am feeding him again...this also helps my supply??

I dont know if I can do that again...I am still sniffly at upsetting my baby so much.......maybe I am just one of those moms who's baby does not nap??  He does sleep around 9 hours straight through the nights.......I would have thought he needs his longer naps....but what do you guys think??

I am beside myself right now....I am also on weight watchers...and am on my way to the kitchen right now....there is some cake from last night....... :oops:  :oops:  :oops:

Please tell me that I am on the right track (or not) and when to expect things may get easier....AND what I should do next time??

I am desparate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!    

Thanks in advance,

Marylou

[Lucysmom]

Marylou - cannot type long but just wanted to send you a HUG!!!!!  Will write more later but how old is your ds?  HUGS AGAIN!!!!  It will be ok!!!!

More later...

[marylou]

HI,

THANKS for responding....I look forward to your input when you have some time.

My DS is 18 weeks today......(He was born a month early...FYI).

He weighs about 14 lbs,...( I think...we go next week to the DR).

Thanks again!!

[Kayna]

Oh Marylou, I wish I could help. I feel your pain but have no words of wisdom. Big hugs. :cry:

[Lucysmom]

Marylou -

I am no expert at all with these nap issues but I know that one of the moderators will be able to help you or will correct me if I tell you something incorrect.  Since your son was born a month early, does that mean his corrected age is 14 weeks?  My dd is 13 weeks and is also having nap problems again.  What I have read on these boards is that the third month is often very wonky for babies in terms of sleep, especially naps.  I don't know why, but it is for many.  So if that is any consolation - you are not alone!!!  Also, there is a 3 month growth spurt so that throws things into a tailspin.  I have read that sometimes it can take up to two weeks for things to settle down again.   :shock:

Has your son gone to sleep independently in the past?  Do you always breastfeed before he goes down for naps?  If you feel he needs a light feed before a nap because of a growth spurt, just make sure that you do not bf last thing before you put him down.  I also noticed that his awake time this morning was 2 hours.  Can he usually handle this much awake time?  I find that if I keep Lucy awake too long she is hard to settle and she cannot handle the jolts that happen as she moves through sleep cycles.  There is a jolt or something that happens at 30 minutes and Lucy did 30 minute naps for a while.  They are horrible as are 45 minute naps (one whole sleep cycle).

What you probably want to do is stay with him during his naps and as you see him stir at the 30 minute mark or 45 minute mark, put your hands on him firmly or pat.  What you are trying to do is send them back to sleep before they wake up fully.  The sticky at the top of this board entitled "How Tracy helped Josie overcome 45 minute naps" talks about this.  Also if you are not swaddling your son that might be something to try as it helps with the jolts. 

Those are all of the thoughts I have at the moment.  I hope this helps a bit and I am sure some other ladies will be happy to help.  I spent a lot of time yesterday in tears as well so I can empathize with what you are going through.

[marylou]

Hi,

THANKS for the encouraging words.  Right now it is 10:50am and this is what has happened since I last wrote.

850-930 nap....I snuck into his room at 20 min..and waited with hands on him for him to wake up...he woke up at 930....I shh/pat...and he was crying a bit...then settled,...but was WIDE AWAKE AND COOING AND SMILING AT ME.....I tried to leave the room like that....and then he became hysterical again....what should I do when he starts cooing and is wide awake???

930-to 1015...quietly playing downstairs...then STARTED TO CRY...(tired cry)....quickly went upstairs for storytime in dim light and wind down.....

1015-1040...he was good for a short book and then started screaming again :shock:  :shock: ...was rooting AGAIN...so breastfed him again...full 10 min on each side.............................Holy moly!!

1050 put him in crib...drowsy, but NOT asleep and was cooing and happy on his own..but eyes red and looked really tired...

1050...left him in room happy...now on computer and he is starting to cry...on monitor....now I am heading upstairs again......I am feeling EXHAUSTED and it is only 11am!!!  THIS IS HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think I need step by step direction............I can feel the let down in both BB when he starts to eat....but I am wondering if he is still hungry...I am going to try a bottle now...and change him awake before putting him down for a nap.....

let me know if you think this is a good idea.....gotta run!!!!!!

sigh.............

THANKS!!

[minirog]

I'm not going to be much help because I have exactly the same problem with my ds and it is bloody exhausting!

When he wakes (bang on half an hour every time - it's like he has an alarm clock in there!) he is so wide awake that all the pu/pd  and shsh patting in the world wouldnt work!

It is so difficult, but you're not the only one! I wanted to send my support and hugs to you
xxxxx

Thinking of you
xxxxxx

Kate
xxx

[Hunter & Sithia's mom]

It does sound like a growth spurt.  Hang in there, it will get better.

The PU/PD may be doing the opposite to what you are hoping it will do.  Try just the pat / shh for a cycle or two and see what happens maybe??

Not much help I know, but sending {{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}} to all moms having a hard time with naps.

Beth

[Lucysmom]

Marylou -

Sorry things are still rough....  What I have been doing is observing Lucy around the 45 minute mark and patting her if it looks as if she is going to wake up completely.  I stay a while and pat as needed off and on until it seems she is back in deep sleep.  In the post I told you about ("How Tracy Helped Josie..." the author (Deb) said that it took a few days for her to be able to extend her dd's naps.  So I would persevere even though it is so discouraging.  I read on this board we should intervene in naps like this for a week and then hopefully we will start seeing results. 

I am sorry I don't have the magic answer.  It does seem like your son may be going through a growth spurt so things may just settle down in a few days once it's over.  Let me know how you're doing...Sending you hugs.

[Matthew's Mommy]

Hi there, just wanted to give you a big hug and tell you that this is absolutely normal at this age. A lot of it has to do with sleep consolidation, and the fact that their days and nights are getting straigthened out.  Most 2-3 month olds experience this, and it does take some time to get it straightened out.. but it does straighten out (anywhere between 4-6 months of age, depending on child)

I always recommend at this age, to intervene and support with naps. Some parents will go in early, (30 min. mark) and when the stirring begins, placing hands on the arm and legs limbs to minimize the jolt.  Also, take a look at room environment, a dark room helps with settling down and minimizing visual stimulation. For pacifier users, there's a post at the top from a consultation from Tracy, which was mentioned earlier.

There are partial awakenings (or jolts) every 10 mins. of an infants sleep cycle. Some infants will wake at the 10 min. mark.. some will wake at the 20 min.. and so on. Swaddling minimizes these jolts. Also keeping overtiredness and overstimulation at bay helps.  I noticed you mentioned it's at the 30 min. mark.. here's what I reccommend:  When he falls asleep, and is in deep sleep, stay with him, keeping your hands on his limbs.. yes I know this will be very boring, but the key is to help him get past the 20-30 min. mark of his sleep. You won't be doing this forever.. just for a few days, to help his body get used to sleeping past the partial awakenings/jolts.  If he cries out, that's okay, just stay with him, calming him back into sleep (pat shush, leaning close to him and providing physical comfort-- you can do this by lowering the crib rail)

This isn't something that will disappear overnight, but it will improve with consistency, routine and also maturity on his part.  I don't want to give you a timeline.. because he is young (I would look at his developmental age instead of his chronological age. So, if he was a month early, subtract the premie weeks from his chronological age)

Hang in there.. we're here for you and many of us have gone through this. and survived!

Take care,

[marylou]

THANKS For all the replies and advice!!

My question is.....whenever I have gone in early to try and catch him before he jolts....he ends up crying and screaming.....and I cannot calm him down.......his little eyes are purple from tiredness and screaming...and I cannot seem to help him settle...I have tried this on at least 5-10 occassions....and it does not seem to help him.  It is almost like me being right there...kinda scares him awake?  Does that make sense.  My hands are on him...but I am not leaning into him until he jolts.  Sorry if this is confusing.


Should I be picking him up???  I have been leaning in and shh'ing him....but it seems to make him more upset.

I was also wondering why my husband gives him a bottle at night, (to sleep)..and he almost always sleeps through the night??  We have no issues with night waking............just troubles with napping.

Thanks again for any help with this.  Sorry I have rambled!!

[Matthew's Mommy]

Definately, if he's screaming and is hysterical, then pick him up, bringhim close to you and shush.  He may need more physical comfort and support, so definately provide it.

Is he crying at the 45 min. mark or does he do it once you come in?

Hang in there.. day sleep is a tricky one for 3,4 month olds.  He will get through it and start sleeping longer.  Another thing to look at, is his EASy cycle. If he's on a 3 hour, than start progressing towards a 4 hour. Also, look at his awake time, making sure that it's appropriate in length.

[juliecheeto]

I can relate on the naps, and I am doing Weight Watchers too. Weight Watchers is so much easier when you are not extremely stressed.