I really don't get it

[Lucysmom]

I am totally baffled about how to transition my dd to the 4 hour EASY and recent posts on this forum have not helped me figure it out as I am having MAJOR mommy brain lapses.   :shock: I just can't wrap my head around it.  Can someone spell it out for me (E time, S time, etc.)?  I don't know how long her sleeps are supposed to be at all (if I can by the grace of God extend them).  Really not doing well here so any info would be appreciated.  Thanks.

[Gigismom]

hey there
we never reached the 4 hour easy until about 6 months.  my dd just coulnd't stay awake long enough and never slept past 45 mins for naps until she hit 6 months.  her naps extended all on their own.  (i tried to extend them myself with no luck).  this is probly no help to you, as i couldn't do it either.  but i just wanted you to know you are not alone in the struggle.  it's ok to just lead your child the best you can.  if she is not exactly "by the book", it's ok!! 
by the way, i can totally relate to the "mommy brain"...my dd is already 9 months and my brain still feels like it's wearing a sweater...everything's a little fuzzy.

[LindseysMom]

I agree, Lindsey was 6 months before she went to a 4 hour eating time frame also.  Just try to relax, go with the flow, and do the best you can with easy.  With Lindsey, if she woke early and was not hungry I would wait til she was hungry before I fed her.  There for a while her easy was all over the place.  So just try to follow your baby's cues for now and it will get better.  Even now I don't always feed her upon awakening, I let her tell me when she is hungry.  And believe me, they will let you know.

[Lucysmom]

Thanks Lynne and Lindsey for your replies.  So did you just let your daughters be 45 minute nappers?  Do you think it affected their night time sleep?  I have been hanging out in my dd's nursery for EVERY NAP for over a week now patting her bum as she started to stir.  I think it is called wake to sleep but I cannot see how my patting her bum is not becoming a prop for her.  I can extend her naps but have no life and am miserable.  When I can't extend her nap I am frustrated and almost angry at her.  This is no way to live or raise a child.  I think I may just have to go with it and hope for the best.  I had a massive breakdown this evening so something has to change.  I'd love to hear more about what both of you did.  Did you just let them be short nappers and have shorter activity times?  Any info/encouragement would be MUCH appreciated!!!   

[lil'monkey]

Melissa - ditto what Lindsey and Lynne said.  DD wasn't on 4 hr till 5.5 mos.  Books are great to read but you have to remember that babies CAN'T read so they are not going do exactly like the books say!   :wink:   If dd wakes up happy then I let it be and just put her down for the next one when she is tired.  I think that at around 4 mos, dd often have 4 short naps.

I can also relate about feeling angry and frustrated and I was beginning to resent having a baby.  But my mom & dh talked some sense into me ( along with some of the ladies here - Lynne you were one of them!), that I learned to let go and go with the flow!  Motherhood was much more enjoyable after that!

[marylou]

Hi Melissa,

I can totally relate...I have decided NOT to fight my little man's 30-45 minute naps anymore...I feel the same way..that I have no life and that I am feeling resentment at times....it is very hard at times.

Just in the last day I have decided not to fight his naps.....he and I are much happier with him taking 4, 45 minuters....or sometimes 30 min....

I am reading that they will fix themselves a little later on their own....

So I am just going to enjoy being a mom and not worry about it.

ML

[kellyhushhh]

This is what i think the transition to four hour should look like presuming you start your day at 7am....see attachment. You will have to use pu/pd to extend naps

[Gigismom]

melissa,
i have to go now, no time to reply but i haven't forgot about you and will try to post something tomorrow.

[Gigismom]

hi
well, for me, i just let dd take short naps and have short awake times.  i really couldn't do anything about it.  she would stay awake for 1.5 to 1.75 hours, then sleep for 30-45 mins.  so this led to feedings being 2 to 2.5 hours apart.  for me, it was more important to keep the e-a-s order of things than to schedule feedings for certain times.  i know it wasn't exactly bw, but it worked, she gained weight and stayed on a routine.

at about 6 months, i started keeping her up 2 or 2.25 hours even though she was tired.  this led to her naps extending themselves.  she still has 30-45 min naps sometimes, but i just roll with it.  what can you do?  to me, the whole pat/shh thing seems like a major prop.  but that is just my humble opinion.  and wake to sleep never worked for us, but it's worth a try i guess. 

i too had (and still have!) feelings of frustration, stress and even resentment when things didnt go like i thought they should.  i have learned to take this as my first lesson in parenting: children are not robots.  you can guide them, but ultimately cannot control everything they do no matter how badly you want to.  it is hard, but you just have to find that balance between setting up a routine and going with the flow.  there will be good days and bad days.  but when i am feeling overwhelmed by the bad days, i just ask myself if this is something that will matter in a month.  if it won't, then i try to let go and not stress.  it is really hard, but it is really the only way you can let go of the frustration.  you are right, it's no way to raise a child, feeling so angry like that.  your lo will pick up on it.  (and if you think you're having a bad day, think of the people in new orleans right now...that REALLY helps me keep things in perspective!!)

so basically, just try to implement the routine and tracy's suggestions the best you can.  that's all you can do.  it is a wise parent who can accept when something is working or not working for their unique baby and have the courage to change course in the middle.  it's ok!!  i am by no means an expert, i am just sharing with you what i say to myself to get us through each day.

good luck and feel free to pm me if you have anymore questions or anything.  you guys will do just great!  treasure your lo at this age because this too shall pass.

[Gigismom]

i forgot to reply about the night time sleep.  the short naps never seemed to affect that.  actually we have had more night wakings since the longer naps began, but that is a whole other story!

[Taylor's Mommy]

Hi Melissa,

First, i can totally relate to being angry and resentful, especially when it comes to the d@mn 45 minute naps!  I lost my cool with dd a couple of times when we struggled through them and am embarrased when I look back and think of how upset I got.  But I remind myself that I was/am doing the best I can, esp. being new at this!  so please you do the same!

just a couple of things I wanted to share with you:
dd is just 3 months now right (about 13 weeks?)  perhaps it is a couple of weeks too soon?  I started moving dd over following Tracy's plan when she was 15 weeks and she then naturally took over and did it on her own by the time she was about 16 weeks.  but I have read plenty of moms say their lo's weren't ready even at 4months, so I think it is best to just follow dd's cues instead of the book.
regarding the chart in tracy's book, there are a lot of posts about the confusing times, and alligirl, the moderator of this forum thinks it was a misprint, as Melinda Blau hasn't even been able to figure it out.  with that being said, just kind of approximate it, and keep your lo up an extra 15 minutes every few days until you are eventually at 4 hours.
and remember that they do not have to take 2 hour naps...somewhere in Tracy's new book (I forget where), she says that 1.5 and even 1 hour 15 minute naps are fine if your lo is fine with them.  many days Taylor only takes 1.5 hour naps, so I then just have her hang out with me for 30 minutes before the next feed.

Lastly, the 2 things that I believe finally helped us improve the 45 minute naps was dd learnign to fall asleep completely on her own and moving to a 4 hour routine so she had a longer awake time.  can Lucy fall asleep independetly yet?

oh yeah, and many of the posts I have read about 45 minute naps (and I have read A LOT!), say that they do not affect night time sleep, as naps are a different funtion of the brain than night time sleep.

Good luck! ANdrea