Can't deal with this kid anymore... :(

[Melsy]

Hi,

My very spirited 11.5 month old ds is giving me the sh*^%s at the moment, and that is putting it mildly.

I am sitting here with tears streaming down my face, wondering if my husband would notice if I move out???  :cry:   Here is what is happening:

*ds used to nap 2 x 1.5 hour naps at 10.30am and 3.30pm.  Then that turned into 1.5 hour am and 45 min pm.  Then that turned into 1 hour am then 1 hour pm.  Then it went to 1.25 hour am and half hour pm.  Most days fights me on pm nap and wasn't going down till 4.30pm.  :x   So I figure it was time to go to one nap.

One day last week he slept 13 hours over night (this is me  :shock:  :shock:  :shock:  , cause that never happens) and he woke up at 8am.  I thought beauty, what a perfect day for one nap.  Put him to bed at 12.15pm and he woke up after 1 hour 15 mins and was HYSTERICAL.  I could not calm him down.  Nothing worked.  Tried to put him back to bed, no luck. 

Today, have watched for tired signs like a hawk, gave him an early lunch, put him to bed at 12pm.  He was awake at 1.30pm.  I didn't rush in, but he was not settling down himself so got him out of bed.  Went outside, which he loves, but was just clingy and whiney.  Then the crying started.  Again could not get him to calm down and ended up screaming at him    :oops:    :oops:   We were both crying by that stage and I have put him into his cot so that I can have a time out for my bad behaviour.  :oops:  :oops:  :oops:   

I definately think we have some teeth issues at the moment, but I had given him panadol and bonjella before the nap and also bonjella again later on and he was still being horrible.

I just don't know what to do.  This is really getting me down.  I seriously feel like running away.  :cry:   If he is going to go to one nap, why can't he sleep past 1.25 or 1.5 hours???  How long should that nap be, anyway???  Should I try PD, even though we have never done that before???  If it is teeth, will things get magically better once that is over???  I am getting no "me" time from him, with him only being asleep for such a short time.  The house is a mess.  When I get sad/depressed, all I want to do is eat.  Which is the last thing I should be doing.

Ok, I think you have had enough of me crying and moaning.  He is still upset upstairs so I am going to take him for a walk in the pram and see if that helps.  God I hope so.  If anyone has some advice or words of wisdom, I would REALLY love to hear them.

Melissa.

[jade's mum]

Hi Melissa,

Your poor thing, I feel for you, but unfortunately I have no advice as my lo is only 7 weeks old and with that, the issues I am facing, you would have dealt
with them months ago! I saw that you're in Brisbane (i'm from sydney) so I know with the time difference there's not too many people logged on at this time of day, hence all I can say is that when I have a really bad day, I try and think that it's only going to last for so many hours before tomorrow comes, and it always feels better the next day

hope it helps, even a little!

su-en

[minirog]

Hiya hon,

Just wanted to say I really am sending you hugs.

Having a baby is the most rewarding thing you can do in your life, but is without a doubt the hardest. Just keep telling yourself you are doing a brilliant job. Everyone has bad days, (especially me!), but that doesnt make you a bad mum.

Do you have a partner to help you out? Or a family member. Tell them you need some time to yourself. Other people can deal with your baby crying as well as you (often the sound of someone elses baby crying doesn't even affect people). You need to remember how important you are.

If there is no-one around you to help, then you are doing the right thing by taking a few mummy time out minutes. It wont hurt your son to be left for a moment and it will be better for you two in the long run.

I really hope you feel better soon.

I'm sorry I have no better advice my son is only 5 months old and we have all this joy to come.

Hang in there,

Lot of love

Kate
xxxx

[deenz]

I know how hard it can be, and how frustrating it is when your lo doesn't sleep long enough etc - believe me, I've been there!

I don't have much advice, but I have heard that it can take a while when you first transition to one nap, for that nap to become a decent length.  You probably need to put ds to bed at night a bit earlier for a while to try help him have enough sleep.

Hope that things get better for you very soon.

[deb]

Melsy - I remember 11 months - for us it totally $ucked!!!  :cry:  :cry:  :cry:  We were dealing with teeth, colds, and separation anxiety. *sob* I was SOOOO glad when it all finally resolved, but it did take a while. My DH was a big help then. *phew!*

If separation anxiety is your little one's issue, you're stuck w/o "me" time for a while unless you can get some relief, someone else to keep him company while you go out for a walk or a drive or a cup of coffee or take a shower or even put in earplugs and take a nap.

{{{{HUGS}}}} to you, Sweetie!!!!

[Khyan & Sahria's mum]

Khyan also went thru that horrible grumping at about that age too when he got his molars thru  :shock: no amount of nurofen, panadol or bonjela worked  :cry: and he was basically a crying lump attached to my leg for quite some time  :?

Our night sleep was severely affected and things were in general SHOCKING !

However things did get better as soon as his molars poked thru the gums.

But the nap thing that you are talking about, Khyan went from 2 x 1.5 bliss full hour naps to 1 nap that last anywere from 45 - 90 minutes and that is it !  :shock:  :shock:  :shock: (yes I too hear about these lovely 3 hour naps but they are just a fairytale in our house  :wink: )

Sometimes he wakes unhappy however no amount of encouragement helps him to go back to sleep and we both end up very frustrated...

I find that my best bet is to bring him into the lounge and quietly talk and cuddle until he gets up himself and wanders off to find some toy (that I've so casually mentioned  :wink: ) this cuddle quiet time is usually 10 - 15 mins.

I then watch him closely to see how our bedtime routine is going to pan out - if he woke early and had a short nap then bedtime will be around 6pm but if we had a good day wind down is 7pm and in bed asleep by 7.30pm


Maybe some of what I said will be helpful !

Big hugs I hope things get better REALLY soon

[Melsy]

Thanks everyone for the encouragement!!!  I love knowing that others had a crappy time around this age!!! 

Well things have been better.  I have been drugging him for naps, and he had a 2.5 hour am nap yesterday and a 1 hour pm nap(would have slept longer but woke him up to protect bedtime!) I am going to try to keep encouraging the two naps, for my sanitys sake!!!

I definately think all of our problems are teeth related.  Is it possible that he could be getting an eye tooth and a molar at the same time???  I swear I can feel two lumps under the gum, one at the back and one towards the front.  :?   I guess if it is two teeth at the same time, at least it gets it over with!!!  I just wasn't expecting eye teeth yet!

Thanks again everyone for your kind words!  We have had a lovely weekend together, so I feel much better!

Love Mel.

[bananasmom]

I feel for you!

Reading your posting was like a rundown of our days for the past while :? ! Hannah seems to be the same age as your son and we are going through the exact same things - teeth and switching between one and two naps. Our problem is that now she doesn't want to go down for naps at all (even though she is obviously dead tired!!!!) and when she finally goes for one it only lasts for 45-80 minutes no matter what we do! So frustrating! Can you show me what your nap schedule looks like for getting your ds down for two naps in a day (as most days dd really seems to need two).  It can only get better from here right?!

Sheryl :wink:

[bananasmom]

I feel for you!

Reading your posting was like a rundown of our days for the past while :? ! Hannah seems to be the same age as your son and we are going through the exact same things - teeth and switching between one and two naps. Our problem is that now she doesn't want to go down for naps at all (even though she is obviously dead tired!!!!) and when she finally goes for one it only lasts for 45-80 minutes no matter what we do! So frustrating! Can you show me what your nap schedule looks like for getting your ds down for two naps in a day (as most days dd really seems to need two).  It can only get better from here right?!

Sheryl :wink:

[sacmommy]

I'm glad things are better.

I also went through a really hard time when my dd was this age. I think with the 1 nap/2 naps it's really hard - some babies kind of need to go back and forth, but for me that just never worked. I finally bit the bullet around 13 mos and switched my dd to 1 nap. I'd say it took at least 2 weeks for her to stretch out to longer 1 naps (in other words, she was taking a shorter nap when I switched to 1, then either of her naps when it was 2... at first). But after the transition she went on to take 2 -3 hr naps, which is heavan!

So you might find that you'll need to go to 1 nap within the next month or 2 (most babies are at 1 nap by 18 months, for a benchmark).

Also, the teething does really mess things up. As do colds, ear infections,... So if it gets bad again, hang in there and realize things change a lot with babies/kids!

[Aarismom]

Heya!!

Hang in there, you're almost down to 1 nap a day!!

Actually, that might be what you're starting to see...I agree with sacmommy.

A little more info...

Between 9 and 16 or so months (I think it's 16 at the latest according to research I've gathered), the first nap begins to disappear S-L-O-W-L-Y. It's supposed to get shorter and shorter until it's gone; it doesn't happen quickly, which can create a great big headache as your lo adjusts to the change. Some switch over totally at 12 months, others switch around 13-16 months. You're dealing with teething, seperation anxiety, etc. during this time, and to top it off, you have to start creating a shorter first nap (1 hr-1.5 hours), and try to get in a longer early afternoon nap (1.5-2 hours). I think a lot of people try to go for the longer morning nap when the afternoon nap is the more important one because it's supposedly more restful (and will continue until 3-4 years of age), while morning naps (according to some research) are sort of a biological continuation of night sleep.

I would try waking your lo up after about an hour-1.5 hours in the am for awhile and see if he starts to transition to a longer afternoon nap, depending on how much night sleep he got. Keep it there for a few weeks, then push him over to 1 nap. Obviously won't happen well overnight, it might take a week or 2 to happen. If you flip-flop don't fret...you may just want to wait it out until he's closer to 13 months then push him over to 1 all at once.

Geez...just when day sleep develops, you start shortening naps...

Also, you should be seeing a sleeping pattern of 12 or so hours a night (sometimes 13). All you need is 2-3 hours in nap time total if he's getting 12-13 hours of sleep a night. Babies can only sleep so much during the day (as my pediatrician so kindly reminded me). The total is still 14-15 hours of sleep a day at that age (some need slightly more, others slightly less, but 15 hours is the avg.)

Hope a little info sheds a little light on the problem, I think my facts are correct, but I don't have my research notes with me atm Someone please correct me if I'm wrong.

I can't wait until mine is that old... :? :roll: Hang in there, hopefully things will get easier after the transition.

*HUGS*
Sonya =P