Waking up 5 times a night! Help!

[cwolff]

I don't understand.  A couple weeks ago, she slept from bedtime of 7pm or so until 2 am.  I DF around 11pm, but she never woke for it and only woke that one other time in the night.  Then usually slept till 5:30-6am.  Now, the past few nights, it's a huge battle to get her to sleep.  Before it used to take me 5 min, now, it's an hour!  And on top of that, she wakes every hour or so after bedtime until I dreamfeed her.  Last night went something like this.  She didn't catnap, so I decided to try for earlier bedtime.  6:30pm, swaddled in her room.  Fast forward till 7:30pm.  Still screaming and fighting.  Finally decided maybe she was hungry, though I had given her 3oz around 6:30 to tide her till DF.  Before that she had 5oz at 4pm.  So I didn't think she would be hungry.  So, fed her, she sucked the three ounces down, and gave me back at least 1 oz.  Finally had her asleep by 8pm.  Then 1/2 hour later, waking for paci that she has spit out.  She's been doing that a lot lately too.  Spitting the paci out even though she wants it when she's mad about going to sleep.  I've tried just not giving it back to her and that gets her more worked up.  So then until about 9pm when she finally fell asleep and stayed that way.  11pm, up wanting food.  So I fed her, put her back down.  1am I hear her.  Try to ignore.  1:30, still making more noise.  Finally I give up and go in.  She thrashing about, and I know it's not food.  So I change her diaper, reswaddle her and pick her up.  In a few minutes, she's drifting off again so i put her down.  3:30am, up, wanting food.  Fed her, put her back down.  5am, I hear her.  Wake DH begging for him to do something.  He gets up, showers and got her up around 6am.  She never went back to sleep.  What the HECK is wrong!!!!  Everything is the same.  Same swaddle, same temperature of the room, same crib.  Help me someone and tell me that this is normal and will pass.  She's never slept thru the night, but she used to only wake once!  I'm dying here. :cry:

[Katet]

Did she have a growth spurt at 3mo, it maybe that, try offering more milk at each feed.
Also if she is spiting out the paci & then needing it, it maybe she needs to be weaned from it , as she is getting addicted to it.
But in my opinion it actually sounds like she migh tbe overtired...how long is she awake before you settle her for naps/bed & what is your settling routine like... cany you post your day routine. My lo is only a week younger than yours & he is my second & big, so I feel a little more in the know.
Finally it is not abnormal for lo's to get disruptive at this age...they are noticing more about the world & how they can effect it... a smile gets a smile, a cry gets a cuddle/attention etc.  my 2yo had an unsettled week or so every 3 months (4,7,10 etc) until he was about 19mo. Seems to happen in most babies.

[cwolff]

Well I'm having enormous trouble sticking to a routine.  Sometimes she wakes at 6 am, sometimes she'll sleep as late as 7am.  If she wakes at 6am, our day goes something like this:

A 6:10 (we have to do tummy time first or she will barf up breakfast)
E 6:15
A till cranky, usually 7am or so.  Try to entertain her till 7:30, usually end up walking her around the house because she cries at everything else.
S 7:30 - 9, sometimes a little later

A 9:10 (tummy time)
E 9:15 - 9:30
A till cranky
S btw 10:30 & 11

A 12 or 12:30 if I'm lucky she's slept that long
E
A till cranky, but here's my problem.  I think I've been trying to keep her up at least till 1 1/2 hours, but maybe that's too much for the afternoon.  Even with her good naps.  I put her down once at around 1.25 and she slept good.  But that's only happened once.
S 1:30pm or 2pm

A this is all messed up.  Sometimes she sleeps an hour, sometimes more, lately 30 min
E messed up as well.
S She refuses to nap more then 3 times per day, no matter how long.  So not matter what, she will not nap again until bedtime.

I'd like Bedtime to be btw 7 & 7:30pm.  But lately because she won't nap past around 4pm, I've moved bedtime to 6::30pm.  Today was awful, she took a 30min nap from 2pm - 2:30pm.  Then I tried to put her back down at 3:40pm.  At 4:40pm I gave up.  Went downstairs, tried feeding her, she barely ate.  Then back up stairs for more crying at 5:10pm.  She's asleep now, and I think she may be asleep for the night.  She was up almost 3 hours.  Then I've been DF around 10:30pm - 11pm.  She used to not wake up for it, but now she is stirring.  She refuses to take more then 3oz at that time.  Then middle of the night feeding ranges from 2am - 4am.

I'm really miserable.  Nothing seems to be going right, no routine because everything changes and I have no idea if she went thru a growth spurt.  She eats around 4oz at a time, 5-6oz if I push her to 4 hours.  But she won't take any more milk.  When she's done, she's done.  Middle of the night, 3oz tops also.
Sorry I'm complaining, but I really thought things would be better now, not worse.

[Katet]

My first advice is too try & be more relaxed about it... I got very anxious with my first & it was all a nightmare & this time around, I'm like, ok he won't nap, lets go for a walk, at least he is relaxed then & we are doing pretty well.
Now you actually do have a routine there, sure it drifts a bit, but that is ok, it shouldn't actually be by the clock, what the key is for your lo to know what comes next & also that you know that she fed 2 hours ago, so it isn't a hunger cry, it's a tired cry etc.
Now I'm a bf mum, but my understanding from my friends who ff, your lo would be best feeding every 4 hours to get a good feed in & my lo who is about 10days younger than yours is doing 3.5/4 quite easily (5 feeds/24 hours) & bf is slower to digest, I would suggest trying that & feed 6.30, 10.30, 2.30 & 6.30 + df but you can do it +/- 1/2 hour... more frequent feeds don't always equal longer night sleep when they get older!!!
Re the naps, now it is normal for babies to have an unsettled period each day & late afternoon is common, have you tried giving her a bath before that last nap of the day, although if you get her on a 4 hour routine, she wouldn't really need the 4th nap.
Now what do you do for activity time, because you may well be over stimulating... less is certainly more at this age. with both my boys, I would give tummy time, cuddles & a short (5min) activity like a book, but most of the time, they spent looking around on a mat & no more than 10mins under the play gym. I have rarely kept Liam up until he is cranky & if he is cranky it is nap time, even if he's been up only 1/2hour, the more you keep them up the more overtired & the less sleep you actually get.
Now with naps, you saying your awake time is about 1.5 hours or slightly less & your lo is cranky before naps, well at 1 hour, you  should go into low stimulation mode, just let her lie on a mat on the floor or in a seat (not doing anything) Cuddle in quiet place, or soft talking, effectively starting a wind down, you could even do some baby massage, you want your lo to be relaxed & infact what you could do, which would help you is to sit her on your lap & cuddle & you do some breathing relaxation excercises... breath into count of 3 & out to 3, repeat a few times, then do it to 4, repeat, then 5, etc up to about 7... I do it up to 10 when I am trying to get to sleep & I'm overtired. As you relax so will your lo, because she is picking up all your anxiety (& trust me from your post you sound VERY anxious, so she is too)
Also how do you put her down for naps/bed time... do you use a paci?/swaddle? as a Paci may also be a problem.
HTH, feel free to field other questions

[cwolff]

Thanks so much.  Yes I am very anxious.  I'm so fearful that she won't get enough sleep, or that I will mess her up if she's trying to find her own schedule.  I really keep it low key for at least 1/2 before naptime.  Also, part of her crankiness started a couple weeks ago because we started physical therapy and stretches for her neck.  We have to do those every activity time, and she really doesn't like it.  I think that has tired her out more than usual.  Hopefully she will get used to it soon.  That's another reason I'm anxious, because I have to fit a lot of stuff into her A time, and I don't want to seem like I'm rushing her from this thing to that thing etc.  Usually when she gets cranky, it's sudden.  Like all of a sudden, she's looking at me happily and then she's fussing.  So it's hard to predict.  Today was much better actually, she got cranky but it was closer to a good naptime, so I just walked with her a few minutes and then to bed.  I'm hoping it's not going to be a half an hour nap.  And today I'm going to try to keep A time in the afternoon shorter, and if she gets cranky at all, put her to bed.  I agree too that she's better on a 4 hour feed schedule.  But with the weird napping it ends up sometimes being either 3 or 5, which I know it's great.  Anyway, thanks so much for your help and I will keep you updated.

[SandyGal]

You are getting excellent advice here. RELAX... you are doing a fine job. 

I didn't see you mention whether or not dd is put to bed awake and falling asleep on her own or if you are parenting her to sleep and/or using the paci? Both of these can cause extremely eratic sleeping both day and night.

[Katet]

cwolff, given the PT, you have to do on dd neck, I would pretty much have that as the ONLY thing you do in the A time... that is pretty strenuous stuff for a lo & there is plenty of time in the months after that is sorted to do other stuff.
Given you said she gets cranky very quickly, I'd be putting her down for a nap then rather than trying to get more awake time... I know a friend who had to do PT with her lo & he used to sleep a lot more than most babies his age as he was physically drained by the extra excercises. Also from my experience with my first ds, refusing late afternoon naps is often a very good indicator of being over tired.

[cwolff]

To answer you Sandy, I do put her to bed drowsy but awake.  Lately she's been trying to settle herself in my arms earlier, so I've put her down and helped her settle down.  And I do use a pacifier.  Though she used to wake more often for it then she does now.  And Katet, the PT is pretty much all we do during A time.  It really stinks.  But it'll be worth it.  I agree too that she's probably overtired and that's why she's resisting the late nap.  But I also had another possible theory.  I think she thinks we are putting her to bed if I try and put her down for the catnap.  And since she knows it's not bedtime, she resists.  She won't nap in the swing, and gas is way too expensive to drive her around in the car.  Plus, it's too hot to walk outside.  So I'm stuck with the crib or me.  She usually doesn't sleep on me, but a couple days ago after trying to get her to sleep in the crib I just picked her up and held her.   She fell asleep, and I covered her eyes with a light blanket and watched tv for 45 min.  It was pretty cool..So I'm going to try that today.

[Tori's Mom]

Just wondering if you have a bedtime and naptime routine.  I established our bedtime routine when dd was about your lo's age and it has be a GODSEND!!!  She has a warm bath, breastfeeds, we read 2 books and now I can lay her in her crib and she knows that it is time for night, night.  I say the same exact things to her everynight and read the same books in the same order.  She knows what to anticipate and it really really works!!!
I have established a naptime routine but it is not as successful.  She is a bad napper.  Usually will sleep an hour or two in the mornings but will only catnap in afternoon (1 30 min nap).  That means she is very tired by bedtime and has been going down as early as 6pm!  She will then wake 1-2 times and is up for the day at 7am. 
My suggestion is to establish a routine to signal sleepy time and maybe even put her to bed earlier.  She is overtired and need to catch up now.  I know it sounds backwards, but it works!!!

[cwolff]

Yes, we do have both and they have been extremely helpful.  Particularly the naptime routine.  The bedtime routine is bath, sometimes bottle (depends on when she last ate) books, bed.  Naptime is quiet play, walk around for a few minutes, swaddle, sing lullaby in rocking chair and she's usually out.  I sing the same lullaby.  But I really think the swaddle is what signals her it's time for bed or nap.  I don't know how I'm going to do it when I try to wean her from that.  I'm trying not to think about it.  I have one of those sleep sacks though, and I'm hoping that once I can wean her from needing her hands pinned, that the sleep sack will act as the same type of cue.

Today, I held her for her catnap again.  I actually woke her after an hour.  She napped in the morning for 2 1/2 hours, and in the afternoon for 2 1/2 hours, then the hour catnap.  We'll be putting her to bed around 7:30pm, and hopefully she will sleep good.  Thanks so much for all of your advice, and if you have any routine suggestions I'd love to hear 'em.