Need a 'cyber' hug

[Caroline-Charlies Mummy]

Hello,
feeling very down today. We have just decided that the best thing to do is to give up bf. To say I'm disappointed is a HUGE understatement. I'm a SAHM and planned to bf for at least 12 months, but it just hasn't worked out that way. We've overcome a lot of difficulties, and it seems such a shame to give up now, so I am upset about it, but dp and I have talked, and decided it's for the best.

Quick reasons: ds has always preferred the bottle  :roll: . We started giving EBM when he was 2 months, and he took to it so well. He finds bf too slow and gets frustrated. Also, he does not seem to be able to keep still when feeding, and flails about like a madman. The only place I have been able to stop this is to feed him in bed, which is fine, but not very practical. The worst problem, however, is that my supply, which has never been good, is really starting to drop (and believe me I've tried everything), and we've been having screaming after every feed.

I wish it could be another way, but now we've made the decision, so please, can I have a {{{{HUG}}}}? Has anyone else had the same issues? I feel like such a failure - how come everyone else can do it and I can't?

Hay ho, nevermind, thanks for listening!
Caroline

[stasztk]

oh sweetie not everyone can do it. Bf is tough and it sounds like you've got a very impatient grumpy type baby. I have lots of cyber hugs for you.
(((hug))) ((((hug)))) (((hug))) :wink:
You'll be alright. You gave it a heck of a good try.

[kate585]

Big (((((hugs))))) from here!!!

Bfing is so much harder than I thought it would be.  Please don't feel like a failure.  You obviously tried everything to make it work.  Celebrate all the good you've done for ds so far and enjoy the end of the bf struggle.  (Silver lining, right?)

[Erin (redstarfalling)]

A {hug} from me too! You've given your son a wonderful gift by bf'ing him this long.  I know it must be really disappointing to have to stop when you'd hope to go on longer. You're not a failure!!!  You've managed a lot longer than many other women and it sounds like it has NOT been easy!  Feeding your lo shouldn't have to be a struggle - sometimes you have to make this kind of hard decision because you feel it's best for all of you.  Be proud of what you've accomplished and the healthy little wonder you've got!

[annamum]

Hi,

You have already gone longer than average breastfeeding mom. Most of those who start breastfeeding at all, give up in a first few weeks. You are almost at 6 months so you have done great.

Don't feel like a failure, being a good mom is not just breastfeeding, there is much more to it. HUGS!

[Arwyn's mom]

{{{hug}}}

Don't feel like a failure. You have given your little one the best and are making this decision for the best. You have to do what works for your family.

{{{hug}}}

[Deb_in_oz]

I BF my first daughter until 13 months (although by then it was just morning BF and 1-2 bottles formula).  When i went to the hospital for my first booking in appointment when PG with Olivia they were impressed with that and said i shoudl do the same again.  I was being realistic and said that i did not know how hard i woudl find it with 2 kids so was aiming for 6 months.  she kind of put pressure on me but i resisted and said "we'll see". 

I ended up with all kinds of problems this time (some right from the start - and got no support in the hospital  :roll: ) and by 3 months finally decided to switch to the bottle.  none of my friends ever bottle fed here so i felt very insecure about it. things weren't 100% better on the bottle but on the upside i got some extra freedom from the presures of trying to get Olivia to eat well as when things were hard Dh was able to step in and he got to bond so well with her while picking up the slack from me (a real positive this time)

I ended up with PPD and came on here often.  One day i saw someone post about how happy they were that they had made it to their goal of 3 months breast feeding and was happy! It changed my life because i let go of the guilt.  we had both done 3 months BF but because my "goal" had been 6 months i felt like a failure, but because her goal was the same 3 months she got to feel like a "success" How stupid and twisted is that - the babies both got 3 mo of breast milk and there i was feeling like Cr@p and she was jumping for joy.

bottom line you have done a great job in "providing" for your child every day and will continue to do so - just different delivery system but delivered with love all the same 

[Peach]

{{{Hugs}}}  I know how you're feeling Caroline.  I had a 12 month plan as well, but dd was born early, small & tongue-tied (not to mention that my supply was never what it should've been either as I had to start it up with a pump).  I gave her ebm for the month that she was in the hospital, but afterwards, after many tears, had to admit that it just wasn't going to work for us. 

I know what a hard decision that is to come to.  But you've given Charlie almost 6 months!!  6 months is fantastic and you should be so proud of yourself as a mom!   

[Duckie]

There is no need for you to feel guilty!!!  (And, believe me, I know the guilt, I've been there).  You've nursed for 6 months, which is a heck of a lot longer than I did (3 weeks).  In addition to the guilt of deciding to stop, I felt guilty because I absolutely HATED the entire nursing experience in a world that tells you the only way to be a "good" mother is to nurse.

Guilt does nothing!  Now go give your little one a squish.  And here's a hug for your too!  ((((HUG))))

[Caroline-Charlies Mummy]

Thank you, thank you, thank you, everyone. I knew I could rely on you!

I know what you are all saying is right, it's just hard not feeling guilty when I'm giving him bottles.

I'm detirmined not to let it spoil things though, and he's going to get extra cuddles to make up for it (poor kid, he's probably sick of them by now he gets so many!). He's started on solids now, and I'm making all of his food myself, so at least I feel better about that (he'll only eat things if they're mixed with pears though - what's all that about?).

Thank you all so much for your support, I'm off to give him lots of cuddles, and like Debra says, deliver it with love  >

Caroline xx