Does this really lead to a calm naptime eventually?

[traumafaerie]

Every day, the trauma that is naptime and bedtime is just as intense as is was the day before. We stick to our routine, and as soon as she gets into the crib, the hysterical crying begins. We proceed to PD for up to 40 minutes (as I read in the TH interview: continue or 40 minutes, take them into another room for 10-15, then try again), for 2 cycles sometimes! It hasn't shortened in duration in over 2 weeks. She will sleep through the whole night about every other night - which is good - but all of that cortisol worries me.

All of this hysterical screaming can't possibly lead to DD going to sleep peacefully on her own eventually, can it?

[Matthew's Mommy]

Hi there,

Could you give us some more information, so we can help you problem solve?

Could you give us some background information, what habits were in the past, how old your little one is, daily routine.. etc. 

Hang in there.. it will get better, I think you're in the thick of it right now.

[traumafaerie]

DD is 9 1/2 months old right now.

Our routine is roughly:

5am feed and back to sleep until 7am
7am breastfeed
8am attempt solids - usually refused
(*a few more times at the boob before:)
10:30 nap
11:30 breastfeed
1pm attempt solids - usually refused
3pm nap
4pm breastfeed
6pm attempt solids - often accepted
7:30 wind down
8pm bath
8:30 asleep
* doctor recommended breastfeeding as often as possible as DD is pretty lightweight and won't take a bottle or solids most of the time. She breastfeeds about every hour when she is awake. She never nurses until she is asleep.

Bedtime isnt' as bad, the routine has been the same since she was about a month old: lights low, white noise, breastfeed until she is full, leg massage, story, cuddles, then bed. There isn't much fussing at night, but shoot - naptime is misery. Even though there is a predictable routine, I'm still met with horrible growling screams, sobbing, hysterics. I'm just worried that the meltdown is becomeing part of her routine.

I think I just need to hear from a few people who have had their LO go from hysterical fits at naptime, to going down calmly on their own - does it really happen?

[Matthew's Mommy]

I would experiment with moving her nap time back earlier. If she's starting her day at 7 am, then move her nap time between 9:30 and 9:45 I think she's getting overtired, which interferes with falling asleep.

So, 15 min.s prior to her naptime wind down, do a "pre wind down" routine.  Take her for a little carry walk around the neighbourhood, just to get a bit of fresh air, but also to calm her.  Then take her upstairs to her bedroom and do your nap time wind down ritual.  So, I would start the pre-wind down around 9 am, then her wind down ritual around 9:15.

And then for her afternoon nap, do the same thing, but aim to have her ready for her nap no later than 2 pm.  Again at 1:30, pre-wind down and then at 1:45 wind down routine.

Brendan used to meltdown prior to every nap.  I had to make life as low key, as possible before his naps.  And also, had to keep myself calm, so he wouldn't feed off of my anxiety and nervousness. His a very spirited fella!

Hope this helps,

[SadiesMum]

Thank you traumafaerie!  I've been lurking looking for this answer too, wondering if I'm on the right track, and if anyone comes out the other side!
My DD is 12 weeks and accidentally parented (and possibly sleep deprived) for most of it!  We have been aiming for 3-3.5 EASY for the past 4 days (I know, not long).
She's only awake an hour when she's whining for bed and getting her down is a drama...all the classics, leg pushing, back arching etc.  Due to this, I cannot hold her so I pat/shush her in her cot.  After much crying and thrashing she does settle...15 mins have been the good ones.
She then wakes at around the 30-45 min mark...consequently I'm still looking for the Y time!
I have been successful in extending some of her naps, but it is difficult to catch her.  I don't understand PU/PD yet so again, I hold her, pat/shush.
I am a tad stressed as I'm not sure if I've seen much improvement, I feel I have no Y time and have to be hyper vigilant to extend the naps, my back aches (she was 5.23kg born) and my 6 year old is being parented sloppily...can't remember what I did with him, but he slept 10+ hours at night!
I want to know: should I keep patting/shushing once the eyes are closed?  Surely this is patting to sleep and thus a prop?  Sometimes I stop and she starts again.
Some people mention that they take their child through all 3 stages and then put them in the cot - I cannot do this due to her arching etc.
But I will introduce a pre wind down (oh my aching back) and a better wind down...how's all that going to go with the school runs?
We're off visiting my folks for a few days so things will either get better or go backwards!  It is better than before (she is getting some sleep during the day), but no less stressful!

SadiesMum