Increase naps 4mo to reduce night wakings and go to 4h EASY

[bgayoso]

Hello everybody,

I'm trying to extend the naps of my baby, who is 4 months and a spirited/textbook one.

I've been told (and agree with the advice) the fact of he's having 4 short naps a day of 30-45 min is the main problem for him not to sleep at all at night, last night I last BF at 9, went to sleep in 10 min without any help (incredible!!!), woke at 23:30 for DF and again at 2:00 (didn't BF, calm him in 10 min with paci in and out before completely slept), rush at 3 am, calm by himself in one minute and w completely at 4:50 and impossible to get back to sleep until 5:50 after lots of PU/PD with me and his daddy. Then sleep until 7am, BF him, back to sleep until 9:30 and start his day.

He's been on a 3 h. EASY plan so this can be also the problem and I'm trying to move him into a 4h., which is not going so bad, at least for this first day.

Today he took a nap in the morning of 45 min, calm him with paci in and out and slept for another 45 min. This after55noon was impossible to get it once again, so he only slept for 45 min., previously I made wind down for 15 min. something I was not doing til now.

I do not do PU/PD as I've readen it can't be very good for babies under 6 months and after 30 minutes he gets so overstimulated that his cries go higher and higher and it becomes impossible to calm him, so I use the paci and took it out of his mouth when he's almost asleep in his cot, after rocking him for some minutes in his darken nursery. I do not swaddle him cause it didn't work out

So, any advice you could bring me about if I'm doing it well would be very helpfull, as this is my first day on trying to resettle all his timetable, naps, and so on.

If you want further information about us please look at a post in "night wakings" named "please help, I'm desperated and frustrated", sorry but I'm too tired by now after only 2 h. of sleep tonight to rewritte everything once again  :cry:

Thanks you all in advance for your help

[Matthew's Mommy]

Um.. what happened to your post!  I read it earlier, and it didn't have all the 5's in it.. or is it just my computer?? Freaky!

Do you have Tracy's new book? In it she describes how to move from a 3 hour EASY cycle to a 4 hour EASY cycle.  Basically it's added a little awake time (no more than 15 mns) per 3 days, and extending the nap by either going in earlier or pu.pd. It takes a little bit of time, about 2 weeks or so.

I'm curious.. where did you read that pu.pd wasnt suitable for younger than 6 months?  In Tracy's book, she has it outlined from 3 months and on?  I'm wondering if you are thinking of Ferber, which isn't meant to be done under 6 months of age.

Hope this helps,

[bgayoso]

That's what I wonder too, yesterday night here in my computer it appeared with white spaces and couldn't post anything in the web so when I decided to change it from sticky to normal something has been wrong (don't ask me what did I do)

I have only 2 books of Tracy, one for young babies and the other one (haven't readen it yet) for babies older than 8 mos I think, does she have another one??

And I read PU/PD is not suitable for younger than 6 mos here in the site, in PU/PD forum there is an announcement (fifth I think) named: The dirty dozen: 12 reasons PU/PD won't work, and the first one is that is not recommended for under 6 mo. cause it overstimulates them (have a look at it and please tell me if you agree with the post)

And by the way: I don't agree at all with Ferber, couldn't do it.

Yesterday I tried to increase awake time and wasn't so bad, sometimes he could stay for 2h and at the end of the day he didn't sleep from 4:30 pm until 7:30 pm (we went out for a quiet walk hopping he would fall asleep, as he always do it, but he didn't and he was really calmed during on it), finally he took a short nap from that time to 8 pm, and then didn't fall asleep til 10 pm (he's usually bed time is 9, but I'm sure he didn't got asleep until 10 because of the late nap), but i think this change has affected his sleeping time during the night, tonight has been really well, he only woke at 4 am, but didn't feed him, gave him paci and kept on sleeping, and at 6 woke for his feeding, gave him, back to sleep until 9 am (he's usual wake up time), feed at 9:30 and now at 10:45 he has got asleep, 1h:45 min. after his waking time.

Thanks for the advice and will keep on doing it during all this week to see how does it goes, hope a travel we have to do on friday, 600 kms away to my sister in law wedding doesn't affect him  :!:

[Swirl]

Hello Bego,
I too understand how it feels....once my son turned 4 months everything went down hill. I know you hear it time and time again but it does get better. I found that increasing his awake time made him sleep longer. Instead of keeping him only up for 1 1/2....I made sure he was up at least
2 hours-2 15mins....finally at 6 months he takes 2 1 hour 1/2 naps a day. Some days its difficult to keep him awake because you don't want him over tired but I try to distract him as much as I can.
Good Luck,
Anthony's Mom.

[bgayoso]

Hello Anthony's Mom,

Thanks for the spirits, it helps to hear it's something more or less usual at this age cause I was wondering what had I done bad to go through this disaster when he used to have long naps and sleep very well at nights before.

Today it's my second day of trying to increase his naps, yesterday he made one long nap and two short ones and he slept much better during the night, today he made 2 short ones in the morning (45 m. nap + 1h. calmed A + 45 min nap) and in the afternoon one long nap of almost 2 hours and a cat nap of 20min, and with the help of the wind down now (here's is 21:45), he almost gets sleep by himself, at the end I have to give him a paci but he's at the point of getting it (at least I hope it), so let's see how does he go tonight.

I'm trying also not to overstimulate him, which I think was another problem, I thought I was thinking to encourage him to play and I was wrong

Thanks again
Bego

[Matthew's Mommy]

Hang in there.. I know it's going to come for you. You're in the heart of it right now, so just keep working on extending his cycle to 4 hours and extending his nap.  For many parents, the 4 month age can be frustrating for day naps, but majority of infants are taking good naps by 6 months of age.  There is a light!

By the way, I checked into the post.  It's says that it's not recommended for under 3 months, so if you are comfortable with the method then it is appropriate.  Depending on the infants age,, you adapt it.  So, for a four mnth old, you can pick up and hold until they settle down which can be 5 minutes.  Whereas with a 6 month old, you pick up and then immediately lie back down. Also, make sure you pick up at a genuine cry-- not a fussy, protest or a mantra cry.

Hope this helps!

[bgayoso]

Uff, these last two days have been terrible once again, yesterday he couldn't sleep for longer than 20 min after 2 hours of being up in the morning so 1 hour later he felt asleep for another 45m, awake 2h., nap in the afternoon of 2h. (with me by his side in a bed, know I'm doing it bad but it was the only way to get him asleep) awake for 2,5h, catnap of 25 min and all a mess during the night, waking up every hour from 9 pm until 6:30 am, when I finally decided to swaddle him and he slept until 9:30, exhausted of tired.

I know I have to be more regular but sometimes it seems impossible  :cry:

After this terrible night now I could only have him up for 1,30h this morning and have just put him to sleep swaddled once again to see if it helps, I've realized (going back to time in my memory) the days he slept fine from 12 to 7 am where days when he took a long nap in the morning and two more naps of 45 min, don't know if it will have any influence.

Anyway, I'll keep on trying to increase the awake time and his day naps, I know I won't get it soon so patience is what I need

About PU/PD yesterday night I tried doing what you say: PU, hold him for 5 min. til calmed and back to cot but as I inclined him he began to cry and cry, I think he hates his cot and I don't know why cause I don't let him cry while he's on it and use to let him play some time on it when he wakes up so, I don't know if it should help cause I think his cries are more a protest to put him to sleep in his cot.

Another thing is that he always wakes crying and as I go into the room and turn the ligths on, open the window or pick him up he gets calmed but he always wakes up crying

Thanks for your help

[Aarismom]

Heya Bego

Take my hand and join me in this...all moms with infants around 4-5 or 6 months should start thier own thread just to vent and support each other through this!!!

Right now I just got done extending a 30 min nap to 45 mins :/ . Usually I can get her up to an hour, lately that hasn't gone so well. So now she's back there in her crib fussing and cooing, like she normally does after every nap whether she got rested or not. I just keep her in there until 1.5- 2 hours are up, and only go to her if she cries out that she really needs me. I've had to resort to that...sometimes she puts herself back to sleep and sleeps another half hour, sometimes she's awake until I get her out. Most of the time she just fusses/coos/plays. Occasionally she'll actually start crying out for me, then I respond. The only thing that really throws me off is when to put her down for her next nap because I don't always catch when she falls back to sleep and wakes again; I check on her when she's actually quiet for more than 15 mins, like right now...checking...looks like I got another 30 mins out of her at least

If I worry about it too much I get too angry, and if I go back there too often I get way over frustrated. So this has been my solution. It's probably better for both of us at this point, and occasionally she does go back to sleep for at least another half hour at some point.

So, don't feel like you're alone in this; until our lo's get through it, we can only do so much. The only piece of advice I can offer is to start making bedtime earlier, between 6 and 7. It should help your lo get more rested at night at least. You'll still have to deal with the short naps in whatever way you can, but you won't get stressed over having to make up so much sleep time during the day.

Big *HUGS*
Sonya =P

[Aarismom]

Wheee!!!!

Her second nap was a lot better...I started keeping her in her crib for her entire nap a few days ago, even if she was awake through it. Like I said, peeked in her room every 15 mins or so to see if she fell back to sleep, never really went to her unless she cried out for me. I put her in at around the same time (within a half hour) each day. I've been doing this for about 3 days now. Now, she rarely cries out for me...she just lays there and plays/coos/lightly fusses.

For her second nap she's now going on 1 hr. 45 mins...she did wake at the 40 min mark, but fell back to sleep 5 or 10 mins later without my help. By the way, I kept her in her crib for the first nap until 10, she did get a half hour more of sleep, but that didn't start until 9:40 or so (her nap began at 8 am). She went back down for her afternoon nap at noon.

I can't believe it. After 3 weeks or so (I've lost count) of 30 min naps, there's finally a small breakthrough. I'm sure I'm not through this yet, but I feel like there's some hope!

*HUGS*
Sonya =P

[Matthew's Mommy]

I should have asked this before, do you have Tracy's new book?  She goes into great detail about how to adapt pu.pd for a four month old. I would definately take a look at it,  if you haven't.  When you lie him back down, and he starts to cry, that's okay, just continue to lie him down, try to soothe him in his bed and if he won't settle, then pick up again.  Just make sure you are trying to soothe him in his bed as well.

Hang in there.. it takes time and loads of patience! 

Here's some tips:
1. Make sure you do a pre-wind down ritual 15 mins. prior to your wind down. Something calming like a neighbour hood carry walk.
2. Make sure the room is dark.
3. Do a long wind down ritual (good for under 6 months)
4. If doing pu.pd, make sure you are only picking up for a hysterical I can't soothe, type of cry-- otherwise, soothe with pat-shush in bed.

Lastly, keep yourself as calm as possible.

[bgayoso]

Back home after these 3 days 600 kms away from home and I have to say they have been really awful. We left on friday after a short nap of 45 min from 11 to 11:45, tried to get him asleep another 45 min but impossible so we took the car, he slept only another 45 min and then, 15 min before his BF of 4pm he got asleep so I BF him and then he took a long nap from 5pm to 7pm, just when we arrived to Madrid. The night was horrible, waking up every hour and every 30 min between 3 and 5 am, at 6 BF him and slept until 9 am but from here to 12 he couldn't close his eyes at all, and the rest of the weekend more of the same.

Now we're back home and hope things go better, I still have 4 days before start to work so I'll try it the best to make some improvements with him.

I've readen Tracy's interview posted in the sleep forum and see some interested things to do and realized of some mistakes I was making.  I thought I should calmed him in my shoulder but this is only for under 3 mo. and between 3 and 6 mo she says they should be calmed in their cribs even if they're crying so I'll try it but I'm afraid of if this can make him hate his crib as now I try to leave him some time playing on it after his waking up.

Sonia: as I've said I try to leave him in his crib but he doesn't like to be there too much time so this, for me, doesn't work very well for longer than 15-20 min but I'm glad for you, congratulations for your achievements with naps  , hope to be able to tell you the same soon. The added problem of my LO is that he doesn't go to sleep on his own, I always have to rock him for a while (+-10 min), so I'll have to work hard to avoid this prop.

And Matthew's Mommy: I don't have the new book yet, I've searched for it in spanish but it seems as it has been published in january it hasn't been traslated yet so I've ordered through a web page of the USA and hope it arrives to me as soon as possible   But as I've said I was trying to soothe him in my shoulders and not in his crib, that's one of the hardest things I might change, the other one is to keep myself calmed as I can't bear to hear him crying  :cry:

I'll tell you how does this week goes on with the changes

Hughs
Bego

[Matthew's Mommy]

Hi there!

Try not to worry too much about everything, and remember it's a learning process for Diego.  It will come for him.

Just keep doing what you are doing, and be patient with him.  I've been in your shoes when Brendan was 4 months old, and it got so much better as he matured and became better able to self soothe to sleep.

Hope this helps!

[bgayoso]

Hi Jane,
I have to say these last two days have been much better. I've been doing pat/shh in the crib and trying to get him as calmed as possible before naps and night time and yesterday he took a very long nap from 17:40 to 18:20, plus from 18:40 to 20:00 and at night he slept very well from 21:30 to 12:30, BF and back to sleep, at 2:30 he woke but went back to sleep with only one couple of pats and shh in his crib, and slept til 6 am, BF at 6:30, talking to himself til 7:15 and back to slep with some pat/shh until 10 am, and this afternoon he took a long nap from 15:00 to 16:25!!!!!!!!!!!  so let's see how does he go tonight !!!!!
Thanks a lot