touchy baby now 6 weeks old

[Number3]

We seem to have a very touchy baby in which is she must get overtired/stimulated very easily. It is frustrating most of the day but when she is asleep it helps to calm us. If we can catch her on the first yawn it is fine but we generally miss it and then it is an ever going nightmare. She is never up past one hour and generally if we catch the signs of either her twitching or yawning she gets taken to bed and is fine to go to sleep on her own.She has been hard to get to sleep from day 1 practically.
We have been trying pat/shush for the last week but end up going in and out for up to about 2 1/2 hrs in which then we just give in and feed her formula hoping that will help of which it doesn't half the time but by then we are going crazy.  We try settling her until she is calm and then go out of the room, sometimes we can go out of the room for less than 2 mins, over 2 mins, sometimes longer. Usually if we hear her crying we now wait a couple of minutes sometimes or go straight back in depending if we need the break.  Last night she was awake from 5 and didn't actually go to sleep till about 10:30 of which I finally got her off by holding her and rubbing her back. The lights were off in the room and just a light coming through from the hallway and we have been wrapping her for the last week also. Should we always be doing pat/shush in our arms (this last week has just been in the cot/bassinet) and when do we do it till??, at this stage it has just been until she is calm but should we keep settling her until her eyes start to close (which we have tried sometimes too and she can still start all over again).
I really need help with strategies and step by steps with a touchy baby.  My two older kids I feel sorry for also as this is just taking so much time.  Last night she cried herself to sleep for 5 mins and then woke again 5 mins later crying. She is getting enough formula as she shows signs now or won't drink it and just spill etc if she is offered the second part of her bottle so that is not the problem. HELP!

[branwen]

Hi Number3

(((hugs)))

I am sorry you are having such a hard time, and first off, I have totally been there with my own touchy baby.  But you are way ahead as I only discovered this around 3 months :shock:

First of all, are you on a 3 hr feeding schedule?

second, 6 weeks is still very young, and you have an overtired baby on your hands.  Honestly I was still nursing and rocking to sleep at this stage because I didn't know better.  You are right to use pat/shh though and I encourage you to keep with it. However, you need to see it through longer I believe.  I can't tell from your post but you need to make sure you are patting until your dd is completely asleep...if you leave too soon you are right that you are starting all over again.  I would not take her out of the crib as much as you might want to, then again, you are starting over because the baby is like "yay! I'm getting out of this!" and then when you put them back they don't understand.  It will feel endless in the beginning and you will feel like a prop but eventually it will work.  Some mom's say a couple of pats and that's all is needed.  Keep that goal in your mind.  I would also get a chair to prop a leg on for support or to sit and reach over. 

Do you have a fan or noise machine running in her room?  If no, I highly recommend getting one!  This made all the difference for my dd.

These are the things that helped my dd get on a 3 hr EASY- removing all toys from crib and having neutral bedding, blacking out the room (I use 3 shades still), noise machine, keeping her warm (for sleep and bath), doing the EXACT same wind down routine every day, naps are in crib only, lots of holding when awake, limiting awake time to 45 min or less, and limiting noise as much as possible until startle reflex went away.

You might not be able to do this completely if you have other children in terms of the noise but do the best you can- I have a very loud husband and cats so it was tricky- the slightest meow or cough and we were starting over.  I did feel very constrained with my dd until about 5 months but honestly it was SO worth it because now she is great.  Once you get her on a sleep routine I would highly recommend protecting those naps.  When I make sure my dd has her naps she is an ANGEL but she is only this way because of everything else I do. 

you are doing great! hang in there!

[dkjokisch]

I'm with Branwen on this one, and I second everything she has said.  Dd is extremely touchy, but we took the same approach Branwen described, and now I have a happy baby who's a pretty good napper.

[Number3]

Thank you for your posts, we tried it longer last night. With a couple of errors.  (tried 7 mins in my arms after she seemed to be asleep then putting her down and that didn't work as she woke 20 mins later) and later did a full 12 mins from when she seemed to be sleeping in her cot and that put her out. I just find it hard to know how long to do it for as she can seem asleep and then sometimes 20 mins later she can be crying again.
She is fed 3-4 hrly "generally" but this is formula feeding.
Are you saying that it should always be done in the cot?
Also I read something about 20 mins to go through sleep cycle but then read about 7-10 mins after they have calmed to keep doing it which seemed to relate to once they were in the bed?
Also in the interview Tracy has them over her shoulder so if you are starting with on your shoulder how long do you do each part for? ie over the shoulder and in the cot?
Really I am just confused as to when the 20 mins starts :?: , is it from when you start to try and calm them or from when they stop crying or from when they start to sleep :?:  And then is it 10 mins in your arms then 7-10 mins in the cot or what :?:

[Number3]

Just looked again and she seems to pick them up if they cry as soon as they are laid down so they have to lay down calmly and then is it 10 mins :?:  Sorry am so confused on the process

[branwen]

I understand how confusing it can be- and it will take longer with a touchy one.

yes, if your baby will not settle place over the shoulder- but do not rock or sway (so hard I know!!)- only pat.  once calm (not crying) place back in the crib- Tracy says on the side- and continue to pat/shush on the back.  don't pick up again until out right crying.  It will feel like you are doing PU/PD but the patting and shushing is the difference.  Don't focus on times- just go by your dd.  If she stops crying place in crib and continue there, if still crying continue to pat/shush on the shoulder.

Baby's alternate between 45 min light sleep cycles and deep cycle.  I would suggest, and ONLY if you or your dh have the time do pat/shush for an entire sleep cycle and transition into the second cycle- about 1 hr- and if still asleep try to leave the room.  Look at it this way- it is just as much as you were doing before but now you are sleep training her for the future. 

Another thing to try if you think she is asleep just put a hand of pressure on her chest and when you get ready to leave gradually lessen the pressure until you can completely release your hand.  If she stirs place it back and then try again in a couple of minutes.

1) what is your wind down routine?

2) what do you use as her tired signs?  you actually need to begin the wind down 20 min before your baby is going to be tired.  When you get to the yawns you missed the window.  This might end up feeling like- feed and then to sleep but with the diaper changes- clothes, etc you should start the wind down soon after that.  My dd likes to rock in her rocking chair for wind down in the dark.

3) what is the longest stretch you get out of her- and what time of day/night?

4) do you swaddle?

About sleeping always being in the cot- I found this to be the best for my dd.  I rearrange a lot to make sure her naps are 99% in her crib.  That is one thing that Tracy says in the new book though- if you have a touchy baby try as much as possible to NOT depart from the routine.

[Number3]

Yes, we have been wrapping her.  She doesn't have too much of a wind down routine as she shows tired signs after only 20 mins, it is never past 30-40mins generally. So we walk her to her room and place her down if she is on a good day and sleeps after a wee while but otherwise we have now been trying to pat/shush if she has been crying for more than 20 mins straight and then she will still wake up again.  She seems to do better on these days just on us.

[Taylor's Mommy]

Branwen's suggestions are great, especially for the white noise machine.  We still use ours for every nap and all night long.

Jsut to reiterate, 6 weeks is still very young and is a very tough stage, esp. considering crying peaks at 6-8 weeks in newborns. 
Just remember that teaching independent sleep is a process, and it is understandable to be frustrated.  I was able to put my dd on EASY right away, however, could not really teach independent sleep until she was about 2 months old.  We tried pat/shush many times before she was 9 weeks old but it jsut was a nightmare and we were all tired and frustrated.  Once she grew up a little bit though she started to get the hang of it, and at around 16 weeks old started falling asleep on her own!  So it is soooo worth it.

BTW, read the post at the top of the page by Theo's mom titled pat/shush for babies under 3 months old.  it was invaluable to me!

good luck and hang in there

[Number3]

Thanks for the understanding Andrea, it is frustrating but as you said it probably just has a lot to do with the age.  A white noise machine has been mentioned a couple of times now, what exactly is it? I am in Australia so am unsure if you would be able to get them anyway but if someone can describe more maybe I could try mimiccing it? I even tried the vacuum cleaner this morning so think maybe this may be something similar to what you mean and it seemed to work and went off to sleep but not for a long time once again.  Today she just does not want to go past 45 mins in her bed and even had her on me once she did this in the morning as I am just so tired today so we both dozed.

[branwen]

I second what Andrea said about the sleep training in these early weeks!  You kind of just do your best with the tools you have.  It seems like around this time babies start to really "wake up" and come out of womb mode and are really ANGRY about it!  At around 12 weeks you might have more success with shush/pat.

Noise machine is anything that can make white noise.  They have some here in the States that have water, nature sounds, etc.  But the best thing that works for my dd is a plain old FAN! :wink:

Even if you don't have success now, try not to abandon the technique because I think as your baby matures she will remember and associate with sleep so when she is more able to "understand" you might have an easier time.

Try singing her the same song before every nap for awhile, or is there anything she particular likes to hear?  We do: turn off light, turn down fan, change diaper, sit in rocker, sing songs.  And we do it the same way every time.  Yes I know :roll: but it does work.  She even starts to sigh when she hears the songs now- she associates them with sleeping.

Even if your baby doesn't understand now you're building associations for the future.

Hang in there! Again! We will continue to be here for you!

[Number3]

Thanks Bronwen, looks we will have to hang in there at this age.  This morning she has already just had 2 45 min naps each time doing pat and shush with going in and out - some days are worse than others but thanks for everything you have suggested, will see what I can come up with the noise