HELP!!! Please can someone help me with an EASY routine?

[tannerme]

Hi all,

My daughter is just 4months old, and i need some serious help with the EASY routine.  I think i am being thick, mainly due to sleep deprivation! Let me give you the low down of whats going on, and any advice you may have will be greatly appreciated!

I try waking up for 8.30 every morning, she will have her baby rice between 9-10am (do i give her milk too? or just give her water with it?) then we play for about an hour or so.  Sleep time is round 11-11.30 but she will oonly nap for 1/2hour maybe occasionaly 1hr but thats only if she has a bottle half way through!!! not a good habit i know! so she is up around 12.30 and has some more bottle, we play then she has a quick bath get dressed then play some more.  Around 2 she will be sleepy so bottle and sleep, again for only 1/2 and this one can't be streched to an hour.  we repeat this routine at 5 again.  when she wakes at 5.30-6 she has her dinner (which is home made liquidised food) with water, play and she has a bottle again around 8-9 by 9.20pm she is asleep in her bed, she only wakes up once 10minutes later then thats her lot until around 11.30 then she screams for 10 and off asleep.  during the course of the night she wakes up in excess of 4-5 times and always ends up in our bed, as each time i close my eyes it feels like i am upagain.  What am i doing so wrong that she wont sleep?  And when i say she has a bottle, all she takes is 2oz at a time, i have really tries to lengthen it out and give her a little water between but she is not having it.  please help i am so deperate and so sleep deprived i feel i am going to collapse, as  i suffer low blood pressure and i am very weak now due to this stress!!!!!

Thanks

[GG]

Wow!  There's a lot going on there.  Can you answer some questions?

First off, she may not be getting enough milk.  How many ounces does she take per day?  Also, have you consulted with her pedi as to giving her solids at this age?  If he/she says it's okay, make sure to follow the directions on the package for rice cereal.  If the manufacturer says mix it with water only (which, I believe, is what you should do), then follow that.

Also, you have taught her to eat to sleep.  This is another thing you will need to work on.

As for sleep, it seems as if she is not getting enough.  How many hours, on average, would you say she is sleeping?  At her age, she should be sleeping minimum 15 hours per day, maximum 18 hours.  If she doesn't sleep more than 45 min at a time, she should probably not be going a full 2 hours awake.  Are you going by her sleep cues or are you watching the clock?  Sounds like you may be missing her cues.

If you can answer the questions above I can more easily try to give you some more direction on starting your DD on EASY.  (I suggest reading the Sleep Interview as well. I know you are sleep deprived but it may it really may help you see something that may help you once you start working on EASY.)

[GG]

By the way... take a deep breath and... relax!  You are feeding, clothing, cleaning and taking care of your baby.  There are just 1 or 2 things you need to tweek but, overall, you are doing a great job!  Don't worry about her crying.  All babies cry.  They cry for many reasons.  That's how they communicate and that's how they shut the world out when they are overstimulated.  Please try to keep this in mind.  It really puts things in perspective.

Also, be sure to take care of yourself!  If you are not well, you cannot take care of your dd (and EASY may as well be tossed out the window).  I know how hard it is to take care of yourself.  I bet you put the baby first.  I'm like that and I try very hard not to be.  I have to remind myself to eat dinner, to drink lots of water, to have some relaxation time.  It's really hard but I know I have to do it.  Please be sure to do this as well!

[tannerme]

Sorry about the delay in getting back to you.

Ok so some answers to your questions:

Ok, milk intake per day - from midnight to midnight she will have approx 20oz plus dinner and baby rice.  Over here we see Health Visitors and they are more than happy with her having solids (although they are liqidised they are not solid!!) When i mentioned the baby rice, what i meant was, the rice will made with milk, but as a drink along side it do i give her milk or water?  she seems to be hungry straight after but how long does it take for a baby's belly to acknowlegde that it is full, as an adult belly takes 20mins!

We are working deperately hard in teaching her not to depend on bottle when its bed time, so what we have been doing all week is feeding, playing then bed with a lullaby and paci, and using a varied pu/pd.

She is no way having 15 hours at all - so how do i extend her sleep, as when she wakes up she refuses to go back asleep.  We are kinda watching the clock but not being ruled by it, as soon as she does her first yawn its automatic wind down time as she will not go asleep straight away.

thanks for helping.

[GG]

I'm lacking in sleep myself these days, so I apologize if I missed that in your message but are you following EASY or are you doing a modified version of it, like EAESY?  The reason I ask is because you mentioned you give her a bottle before she goes to sleep.  I'm not sure I see the EASY routine in there.  Try being a little more 'strict' in the E.A.S., where you feed her after she wakes up (be it solids or formula), then let her play, then put her down for a nap.  Do that for a couple of days and see if it makes a difference.

Regarding the baby rice, I'm not really sure about giving her water or milk with it.  Does anyone else know about this?

As for the amount of time it takes for the baby's stomach to know it's full, I don't think that's an issue when they're babies.  What made you think to ask?  Does she cry after she eats?

Her wind-down routine sounds good.  Just be sure that the paci isn't staying with her as she falls asleep, otherwise it may disrupt her sleep.  Also, you don't necessarily have to wait to see a yawn in order to start her wind down.  Tracy mentioned that babies her age display other signs of tiredness as well, such as rubbing of the eyes and crankiness.  I'm sure you're following your instincts on this, which is what I would say to go by, but just in case you're waiting specifically for a yawn, try looking for the other things as well.  Most babies that don't get at least 1.5 hours of sleep don't have the energy to stay up a full 2 hours.

In order to extend her naps: what I have done (and still do on the rare occassion, when he doesn't get enough sleep) with my ds is that I sneak into the bedroom at the 30 min mark and wait until he starts to stir.  Then I do a little pat/shhh to keep him from waking up.  If I catch him just before he starts to wake up, he stays asleep.  Then I stay there for about 15-20 min to make sure that he goes back into a deep sleep.

I think the key to getting her to sleep in longer increments at night is to extend her naps.  Try doing the things I mentioned above for several days and let us know if anything changes.

[Taylor's Mommy]

no expert about the rice cereal, but everything I have heard is that it should be mixed with either breast milk or formula.

Since she is only taking about 2 oz at a time, it also sounds like she is doing a lot of snacking, so taking away some of those bottles in between naps may help?

[Onewoman]

Regarding the solids I have a few thoughts. I have found mixing it with water stops constipation, but milk maybe better for your lo if you need to get her to have more calories in the day. I give half a milk feed first, then solids, then more milk. Babies this age still need loads of milk and you won't be fully replacing the milk feed with solids for months yet. At the moment it should just be an extra, mainly for practice and to sustain them a little longer, so they can do 4 hourly feeds. I think 2 solid meals may be too taxing for your babies system at this age, personally I would just do breakfast for a good month before you start introducing another meal. If she is finding it hard to digest dinner it may cause her to wake up at night because she is uncomfortable.

HTH

[tannerme]

Thanks Everyone for the great response.  I shall take on board all that you say and let you know the outcome - lets face it, cant get any worse!!!! :? i hope!!!!

Take care all.

Mezz