Hi Traci & Charlie's Mummy,
Arwyn goes down herself for her nighttime sleep independently. She didn't before... we were singing, rocking... then enter BW and then pu/pd and pat/shush. She changed after 3 days of this.
I found that the last hour before bedtime needs to be quiet time. She sits in her bouncy chair, or we hold her and cuddle before going into bedtime routine of bath, massage, change and bed that lasts no longer than 20 minutes.
Also, daytime sleep has a huge effect... if she doesn't get at least 3h 15m total nap time, she is a nightmare to put down. I put her down as close to 7 as possible. When I first started this, she would wake up after 45 minutes (treating it as a nap) and after 3 days, she stopped too due to pat/shush back to sleep.
About rushing in to the room. I used to do that too as soon as she started to cry. I have learned that Arwyn has a sleep cry that comes after her initial frantic cry. I now wait for at least 2 minutes. If the sleep cry doesn't come, I go in. She usually sleep cries for 15-20 minutes before she can put herself to sleep. I think Tracy Hogg calls it the mantra cry.
Wow, don't I sound like I know what I'm talking about (NOT!). I am just fortunate I found something that works for Arwyn's night sleep. I am a complete and utter fool when it comes to her naps.
I hope this helps.
Traci... don't feel like a failure. You and Cole are both learning about sleeping. No, this mommy thing isn't easy (as my mother reminds me all the time) but it sure can be fun sometimes. You're doing just great!
