12 weeks old and brest feeding is still really tough

[alison toms mum]

Tom is now 12 weeks old and Im really struggling to continue BF as neither of us seem to be getting the hang of it. Tom was a bad brestfeeder at first as he was badly tongue tied and was 6 weeks old before they fixed it. He seems to have picked up bad habits as he fusses a lot, pulls off frequently, chokes, and makes sounds as hes drinking that make me think hes getting air in. He often doesnt open his mouth very wide, and unless hes starving I always have problemsc getting him to latch on (although my nipples arent sore so he cant be latched on that badly)

HELP I never know if hes had enough food (sometimes hell only feed for 5- 10 mins every 3 hrs) or if hes completely emptied a brest (sometimes he will refuse more from 1 brest after 10 mins, but then drink from the other for 10 mins if offered), if he seems hungry but stops drinking after 1 min does that mean hes full or is he just still windy (I often have to wind him for as long as 20 minuets and he still does this)

Hes obviously getting enough food as hes gaining weight well, but Im exausted and ready to quit :cry:  PLEASE HELP

[maggieruth]

you are right, if your son is gaining weight well and producing enough wet nappies things are going well from a nutritional point of view.  but you have to be a happy mum as well.
my ds has recently started drinking for lots less time and having more of a look about, stopping to grin at me etc.  i am just getting him weighed more often and trying to keep my sanity.  i am not shy about offering the breast and just look for cues from my lo that he is ready for more, often he just doesn't seem to need it so i am just guessing that he is more efficient suddenly.
have a think about whether its more work than its worth, balancing out the carry on you would have making up and cleaning bottles.
being a mum is hard enough, pick your battles and know that you are taking care of you for your lo's sake to be the best mummy you can be!
if you do want to bf, maybe contact your local la leche group, you can look them up on the net or call their national number.  they have advisors and can give you lots of tips but obviously will be pretty invested in keeping you bfing
good luck.

[alison toms mum]

Thanks for your reply. I did see a BF midwife when he originally had tongue tie but I really struggled to follow her advice, and lost all my confidence BF.

Looking at the different pages I wonder if he may have Reflux and so will look into that before giving up entirely :roll:  I really do want to brest feed and think I will regret it if I quit, but I may have to for sanitys sake!

[Erin (redstarfalling)]

HI Alison - sorry to hear you're having such a rough time of it!  Is there any chance you could consult a lactation consultatant again?  Just to check the latch.  If he's making a lot of noise, he may well be getting air in and this can upset his tummy and give him more gas. If he's sputtering, though, it could also mean that you have a strong letdown, which might also make it hard for him - although he'll get better at dealing with this as he gets older.  You're right that if your nipples aren't sore, that the latch probably isn't terrible, but you might just need a refresher - there's nothing wrong with that! 

As for the 5-10 min eating, that can be normal.  At his age, many babies only need to eat for 5 or 10 min to get a full feed - they're much more efficient eaters than when they were small.  And refusing one, but wanting the other also sometimes has to do with the milk flow.  If they're used to a strong let down and the flow is slow, they get impatient.  Switching sides sometimes seems easier for them.  :wink: He'll also start getting better at doing the burps himself soon, so you won't have to pat him as long.

But if it were me, I'd check in with an lc or la leche league, as maggieruth suggested.  It doesn't have to keep being so exhausting!  Let me know if I can help more.