What time should he be in bed

[alison toms mum]

Tom is on 3 hr easy but cluster feeds at 4, 6 and 8 as he wont take a dream feed. by 8 he was usually so tired he would fall asleep as soon as he was fed (I dont aim to feed him to sleep but it just happehed !). This last week, however, he seems really awake after feeding (and quite windy) and has only been droping off (with difficulty) at 9.30 or 10. As I brest feed this leaves no time for me and my husband (evening meal is often a grizzly affair as Tom IS tired, but wont go down between 6 and .

Evening routine is currently
S2.30-4
E4-4.45
S (sometimes!) 5.00-6.00
E6.00-6.30
A6.30-7.15 (while Phil and me eat!)
Bath 7.15-7.45
E 8.00-9.00

He just started sleeing through (9pm-6.00 am) at 10 weeks (he is now 12 weeks) and when we tried to stop the cluster feeding and getting him to bed earlier (by 8 pm) he woke at 4.00 am very hungry. Any suggestions?

[Aarismom]

I think you're doing the right thing by moving his bedtime back. Since he's sleeping more than 5 hours at night, it's good to get some more sleep time on the front end of the night, since this is mostly deep sleep.

Now, you can move his bedtime back slowly to 7 pm or 6:30 to see if he sleeps longer at night. His biological clock is getting him up at 6, and it will probably remain that way for quite a while. Chances are, this won't change, which is why early bedtimes usually work. OR, you can move it to 8 pm for awhile, since he's still getting 8-10 hours of sleep, which is actually more typical of a 3 month old. If you move his bedtime back, and he starts waking to start his day earlier, try moving it back up a little. 10-12 hours is your eventual goal for night sleep, and you'll want to keep that for several months to come.

Based on your sleep schedule, you get him up at 4 from his 2nd nap. He *could* do a 6 pm bedtime...but that's for you to decide. If you continue to give the third nap, he might be ready for bed between 7 and 7:30 at that age. Keep the feeding. What you could try is a df at 11-12 pm and see if that keeps him nourished until he gets up in the am, or just keep getting up at 3-4 for his feeding. Play with it and see what works.

Hope this helps! Let us know how it goes!

*HUGS*
Sonya =P

[alison toms mum]

Thanks for the advice. Tom had his injections today so is a bit poorly, but once he starts feeling better Im going to move his bedtime to 8 pm and slowly bring it back from there (dinner in peace ). Will let you know how it goes

[branwen]

Hi there-

I would recommend keeping the cluster and moving the bedtime to 8- so feed 4, 6, and 8.  My dd clustered until 6 months but never did a dream feed.  With breastfeeding I feel clustering can be somewhat important for through-the-night sleep.  For us it resulted in a very long sleep for her! And us  :wink:

If your ds doesn't feed after 9/10pm at night probably best not to start adding a later feed.

I would also suggest moving back the bedtime to 8 and have that feed be the last before bed.  If he starts to wake earlier treat it as a night feed and put back to bed immediately.

Evenutally you might find as you move the bedtime back he will naturally adjust the bedtime even earlier, esp if waking earlier.  Gradually my dd got herself to 7:00pm by 12 weeks.  It stayed there until 5 months and is now around 6pm.

I hope he feels better soon!