Author Topic: Im losing it - its all going wrong  (Read 1678 times)

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Offline hana1978

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Im losing it - its all going wrong
« on: September 14, 2005, 18:03:40 pm »
Today my DS has slept 15minutes all day ive spend a total of about 5 hours doing shh/patt all day - this isnt just regression, its like hes 10 times worse than before i started. That 15mins was in the car as i was desparate for a break and couldnt take the crying anymore. I dont understand, he was going to sleep all by himself - i havnt changed a single thing!! Im so low ive spent all day crying and at one point screamed 'shut up' to him       
I cant take much more of this, this has taken all the joy out of looking after him and being a mum - i dont know what to do - what is my mum going to do when she takes care of him when i go back to work next week? I cant expect her to shh/patt him for 2 hours just so that he will sleep 30 minutes!! I feel like ive hit rock bottom!
Hana.xx

Offline Jayri

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Im losing it - its all going wrong
« Reply #1 on: September 14, 2005, 20:31:42 pm »
First of all, take a deep breath and relax.
Maybe your ds is feeling your tension about you going back to work!.
When my dd screams as she is going down for a nap I try to remember to relax, I know it is a lot easier said than done, but I noticed that the more irritated I became so did she, take each day as it comes that way yyour goals for what you want to do are smaller and seem more obtainable.
HTH, I have to run, chaos is taking over my house, keep posting if you need more ideas.
Naomi mum to ds 17.06.03 and dd 26.03.05
&dh together since 23.02.01
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Offline Matthew's Mommy

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Im losing it - its all going wrong
« Reply #2 on: September 15, 2005, 00:28:26 am »
Big hugs to you!  We'll chat soon, okay?

Hang in there.. big hugs!
Jane
Whispering since 2001
Matthew July 27th, 2001
Brendan October 21st, 2004

Offline Jayri

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Im losing it - its all going wrong
« Reply #3 on: September 15, 2005, 23:45:30 pm »
Just wanted to check in. How are you doing lately hana1978?
Naomi mum to ds 17.06.03 and dd 26.03.05
&dh together since 23.02.01
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Offline james030405

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Im losing it - its all going wrong
« Reply #4 on: September 16, 2005, 00:01:05 am »
Hi Hana1978

I don't know if this helps but it certainly helped me stay calm in those situations.  I put a CD on of classical music lullabys.  Even if your lo doesn't respond to it, I found it kept me calm as I concentrated on the music. 

Sorry I cannot be of more help to you but just remember that they do fall asleep eventually (I have often told myself this). 

Lisa - mum to James
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Offline NKmommy

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Im losing it - its all going wrong
« Reply #5 on: September 16, 2005, 01:52:05 am »
I am so sorry that things are crummy right now.  I know it is so draining, but you are on your way...  This is a phase, and things will get better. 

Just wanted to ditto what Lisa said about the music.  I also used earplugs when doing PU/PD, and found it helped me sooo much.  Even though I was still there to assure my DS, I found that I was much more calm and didn't go nuts from the waaaa-waaaa.  I think Tracy was the one that suggested the earplugs. 

Hang in there...
Sheila
ng

Offline hana1978

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Im losing it - its all going wrong
« Reply #6 on: September 16, 2005, 07:58:28 am »
Hiya sorry for the delayed response and thanks for your posts  :)
Im vvvvvvvvvv easily stressed out by his crying.  He does this fake cough thing sounds like e-huh e-huh then he eventually starts crying well that sounds makes my stomach flip and i feel sick - ive got so accustomed to reacting 'OH NO' to it  :roll: then of course it means i know whats coming next and i start feeling tense (even started grinding me teeth  :oops: ) esp if hes just slept 20 min of his supposed 2h nap  :roll:
Yest however was a really good day - he slept until 8.15am probably pooped from the horrible day before, i put him down for a nap at 10.15 and he slept 1.25hrs, then another nap at 14.15 and he slept for 2hrs and i had to wake him up  :shock:  :shock:  :shock:  - the only thing i can think is that he was totally exhausted from the day before because that has NEVER happened and so far today he has reverted back to his usual 30min naps - oy   :roll:
I will certainly try the music - have tried it before, esp at the beggining i played him looooots of classical but have not for a while - normally i use white noise like the crackling between radio stations but keep it on vvv low - he sleeps a little longer for it.......all of 5-10 mins  :roll:
Hana.xx

Offline magdalena x 2

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I feel your pain
« Reply #7 on: September 17, 2005, 00:39:44 am »
Hello Hana,

If it makes you feel any better... I'm in the same boat as you.  My daughter, Lena, was a textbook/touchy baby.  As of late she's the most spirited little booger.  Your story sounds so similar...

Lena slept a mere 9 hours yesterday (five of which were during the night).  Today is much better, but like you said, it's probably b/c of the total LACK of sleep yesterday.  Mathewsmom told me to focus on a routine.  I'm taking that advise along with colesmom's advise to focus on her active time.  She's pretty easily overstimulated, and a better wind down is certainly in order. 

I guess we can take joy in knowing (from people like Aarismom & colesmom) that it will get better!  I hope for your sake that it gets better soon!  I also hope going back to work goes well for you.  I'm doing the work from home thing... it's very difficult sometimes w/ a baby who doesn't take naps very well these days. 

Take care and good luck,

Maggie

Offline nikipowerssa

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Im losing it - its all going wrong
« Reply #8 on: September 17, 2005, 15:40:26 pm »
Hi.  I can sympathise definately.  I had been making a huge mistake of feeding my Izzy ALL the time instead of realsing she was just tired.  At 8 weeks old and down to just 5min feeds almost every half hour I finally bought and read the baby whisperer book.  I started her on EASY immediately.  She has taken to everything but the sleeping part!  So far today we have managed 45 mins sleep - like you only managed in the car but she woke the instant we got into the house! When I took her out again she stayed awake.  I know for Izzy it is because she is now used to being fed to send her to sleep.  my tactic is to accept things are difficult right now and keep going with the plan.  The other hints are right - Izzy cries a hell of a lot now because she is ed that her usual routine is haywire but I can stay calm through it because I know why she is ed off- try to rememebr........It is only a phase, things will get better ( don't know when-but they will.  I remind myself that all the time something goes horribly wrong ( AND IT DID FOR A LOT OF THE TIME BEFORE!)  Hang in there- Grans are more resourceful than we give them credit for and your little one can only last so long without sleep - she is after all just a baby.  I am thinking right now - if Izzy has not managed to sleep much today - who knows, she might go for longer than 6 hrs tonight!  (The most we ever managed before was 4 and that was only at the start of the night - it went 3,2,1, 1after!) X
mum to izzy - currently 5weeks old