desperate to get 6 week old to be independent sleeper

[pmm2005]

PLEASE HELP...  I am on day 2 of trying to wean 6 week old from sleeping with/ on me (although I have just finally understood the pat/ shush by reading this forum).  I feel that he might be using the pacifier as a "prop".  I think this has become worse since we have put him down to sleep on his own.  It's as if he clings to that now instead of me!

I have read (and re-read) the book.  I put him down after 2nd yawn.  I dim the lights.  I sing him a song and put him down in a very soothing manner.  I don't offer the pacifier until he asks (he shows the signs of looking for it).  He seems calm for the first 15 or so minutes... and then it seems as if all HECK breaks loose.  Now this is where I get confused...

Should I put the pacifier back in his mouth when it's obvious that's what he wants?  When I do this it calms him.  He will sometimes drift off to sleep and then he wakes up as soon as it falls out of his mouth.  The book said (in chapter 9) to tackle one problem at a time.  But I feel this is affecting his sleep. 

Last question.  Is it ok that he has 2 places to sleep?  He has a cradle (used for night time sleep only) in my room which I put him in (off and on until recently) and he slept beautifully in it last night... now this could be because he was quite exhausted... he only got a 3 hour and a 20 minute nap yesterday.  I then put him in his crib during the day.  Both yesterday and today has been holy terror.

I felt like he was a textbook with a bit of spirited side baby.  Now I don't know.  Can anyone help?  I am absolutely desperate.  It breaks my heart to hear him cry and cry.  I am so lost.  Everyone seems to have an opinion but no one around us has read about the baby whisperer and doesn't follow her guidelines.  I don't know where to turn.

Thanks!

[LindseysMom]

Hello and welcome.  First off, congratulations on your new baby.  They are so much work but so worth it huh.  The first few weeks are hard.  I may not be of much help but wanted to say that you are doing great.  I never had the bw book when lindsey was that young so I just did whatever it took to get her to sleep and hopefully she would stay asleep once I put her down.  I personally think that 6 weeks is too young to begin sleep training.  I would rock her, jiggle her, swing her, nurse her,  whatever it took to get her to sleep.  I really think that at that age it is ok to do these things as babies crave/need the human touch, contact to feel secure.  Once older, say 3-4 months then begin trying to establish a more consistent routine and begin sleep training.    As for the paci I say give it to him, babies have a reflex need to suck until at least 3-4 months of age.  Hopefully by that time he can find his fingers or thumb.  Anyway, I remember what worked for us sometimes was to swaddle Lindsey, give her a paci if she was tired but not hungry, and then rock her to sleep.  I also co-slept with her til she was about 2 months old and this helped a lot for me as I was breastfeeding.  I also can remember that when it was bedtime I would lay beside her and hold my hand over her chest/arms to comfort her until she went to sleep.  She too was swaddled.  Sometimes I had to give her a paci, sometimes not.  As she got older I would swaddle her with one arm out so she could get to a hand for soothing.  So, I would say do not let him cry at this age, do whatever it takes to get him to sleep so you too can rest, and worry about sleep training later when he is older.  Just my opinion though.     Just try to relax and do whatever you feel is best for your baby.  Don't worry about what the books say, trust your instinct and hug, hold, rock your baby if you want to.  Just enjoy him right now being so little, they grow up so fast.  You are doing a great job.  Trust yourself!  I know this is not very BW but like I said, just my opinion.

Oh, I wanted to add that he may be in a growth spurt now so that may be why he is so fussy.  They have these at 3 weeks, 6 weeks, 3 months, 6 months, 9 months and 1 year.  Hope this helps.

[sa]

i think initially when you do PAT/SHH, you do it until he is asleep then put him down. then, you do it less and put him down when drowsy, then put him down when he is relax ...etc.

for the paci as well, gradually reduce the amount of time he use it over weeks/month. if he needs it now, give it to him.

yeah, watch out for growth spurt as i think the 6 week one can be quite fussy.

[pmm2005]

Thanks for all the supportive thoughts!  I have come to realize in the last few weeks my ds is definitely "spirited".  We seemed to work out the kinks and get him to sleep in his crib with little effort on our parts.  Unfortunately, that has changed a bit the last few days.  He is now fighting his sleep and his swaddle with all of his 8 week old strength!

It is truly refreshing to see that others are struggling with these issues.  It reminds you that you are not a "failure".  I had foolishly thought this would be a bit easier.  I imagined my hardships would happen much later (i.e. the teenage years!).

Thanks again!