Author Topic: Does this sound right?  (Read 1426 times)

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Offline GraysonsMommy

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Does this sound right?
« on: September 17, 2005, 12:37:55 pm »
This is my first post here.  I've been reading, but just started the sh-sh pat pat thing on Thursday night, three days ago.  My son Grayson is just shy of four months and was doing great sleeping until his pacifier turned into an awful sleep crutch and started causing him to wake every 1-3 hours for replacement by mommy and daddy.  So hence the sleep training routine.  The poor guy, we've taken away his binky, started him on a new schedule, and stopped feeding him in the middle of the night, all together.  So tell me if I'm doing this right:

On Thursday, we started giving him a DF at 11-11:30pm to finish off the rest of the ounces he needs for the day.  He normally goes to bed between 7-8pm.  When he would normally wake at 1-3am, we sh-sh patted him through it without a feeding.  That first night, he woke at 2:15am and took about 45 minutes to get back to sleep, soundly, not much crying though, it was great.  He woke at 5:45 am, a little too early for us.  All day Friday, we did the EASY routine, but because he is still on a 1.5 hour wake time, it gets to an ESA sometime throughout the day. 

Friday night was like the demon child came out to play!  He woke at 10:30, went back to sleep on his own, surprisingly, woke at 11:00 so we did the DF then, then he woke at 2:15am crying like I've never heard him cry.  I couldn't calm him and DH and I were at each other's throats!  He gave him the binky and I near about killed him!  SO along came Mrs. Bad-Mommy who took it away.  I had to actually climb into his crib with him and hold him, sh-sh him and pat him for an hour and a half straight, with no break in his crying until he was basically exhausted.  The tears were plenty and he just about beat me up with all of his swinging and thrashing.  He conked out pretty suddenly then, moaning a little on the way.  Phew, he went to sleep!  Then he woke again at 4, 5, 5:30 and 6.  I fed him at 6 and since I was so exhausted myself, I took him to bed with us to get a little more sleep.  He lasted there until 7:30, which confused our whole EASY routine, so we were way off all day with more of a ESA and no real Y, because his naps were horrendous.  He had one great 2 hour morning nap with very little fighting and he stayed down on his own for 1.5 hours and a little help to get back to sleep then.  He didn't nap again until 6:15pm!!  I can't believe it, he's never fought sleeping like that, it was awful, awful!  He finally went down and stayed there until about 7pm.  We had him up with us, sitting calmly and playing in my lap until 7:45 when I gave him his final feeding, went through his night routine and put him to bed.  We did the dream feed at 11:30pm and he woke pretty much every one to two hours. The good news is that he was much easier to settle with a few pats and sh-sh's, so even though he was up a lot, it seems like he is getting better. Then, he woke at 6am and played for 20 minutes, cooing in his crib by himself.  I fed him at 6:30 and we started the EASY schedule.  (right now is my Y as a matter of fact, he he)  He cried pretty hard in the process of getting him down for his first nap today, but it only lasted 4 minutes.  I had to hold his arms and legs down until he conked out again, I sh-shed him just while he was crying, then when he calmed, I got softer and softer and only patted him for another 3 minutes.  I stood there watching him for the rest of the 10 minutes, to make sure he didn't stir again.  He's still out, thank goodness and that was about 30 minutes ago.  He will probably wake at the 45 minute mark for a quick sh-sh and pat and then stay down for 1.5 to 2 hours. 

So tell me girls, does this seem to be right, and progressing the way it should?  I know it's only been a few days, but I REALLY hate when my baby cries, it makes me cry.  We are NOT fans of CIO and have practiced limited attachment parenting, so this is hard for us.  I worry though that even though we are taking the pacifier away, are we creating a new sleep crutch by patting and sh-shing him to sleep?  I know it's early, but I'm looking for signs that I can cut back on that and hopefully get back to just putting my hand on his back for a few seconds while he dozes off (like he did with the binky).  Oh, and I forgot to say that I swapped his binky for a "lovey" which is a small blanket with satin on one side and velour on the other.  He seems to like it, but doesn't quite "need" it yet.  I hope it eventually helps.  He seems to really need us at night though and I assume this is normal, considering how early it is and how much change we have put him through over the past few days.  DH is going away overnight next week and I am really hoping we have this somewhat licked by then or I will go crazy by myself.  I rely on him sooooo much at night.  I'm not nearly as patient as him, but I won't give in, that's for sure.  I just might lose my mind in the meantime!   :?   

I have read plenty of similar threads on here, but you know how it is, it helps to know that you are personally doing the right things....If there is any additional advice or encouragement you can offer, I'd be very grateful!!

Jessica with Grayson - 16 weeks today!
Grayson born 5/28/05
A Spirited and slightly Touchy little guy

http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a214/luckylot1999/6f36d4a2.jpgimg07610qs.th.jpg[/img][/URL]

Offline GraysonsMommy

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Does this sound right?
« Reply #1 on: September 17, 2005, 16:50:40 pm »
It's me again, I came up with another question.  I know we are supposed to wait until he cries out to us, before we go in and soothe him, hoping that he can soothe himself first, but Grayson gets SO worked up when we leave him to cry for even a few seconds.  This time, he cried for 20 minutes straight, after going down so easily for the nap but then woke up 30 minutes into it, crying.  I almost gave up, his crying was so bad.  I did p/u-p/d about 6 times, he would calm when I picked him up and then get worse every time I put him down, he even choked himself crying so hard.  He sweats horribly when he cries like that too.  So then I decided to just hold him down while sh-shing and patting and he eventually calmed enough to fall asleep.  It took a while, he kept opening his eyes, but finally fell back asleep after a full 10 minutes of patting.  Then he cried again briefly, I touched him and he went back to sleep.  Now he's squeaking in his sleep, but at least he is sleeping. Is it too early in the process to let him get like this or should I just stick with it, even when he cries hysterically?  How ironic that he would get this bad during a nap, after going down like a dream?!

Jessica
Grayson born 5/28/05
A Spirited and slightly Touchy little guy

http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a214/luckylot1999/6f36d4a2.jpgimg07610qs.th.jpg[/img][/URL]

Offline Joey'sMom

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Does this sound right?
« Reply #2 on: September 17, 2005, 17:20:07 pm »
I'm not sure what everyone else will say, but I am battling a similar situation, and I don't feel like it's right to ever make him cry that hard.  My son is just about three months, and he does the same thing if I leave him to cry on his own.  My husband thinks I rush in too fast, but I know that if I don't, it's like there's no turning back. 

I'm pretty sure, too, that in the book Tracy said that it's fine to stay right with him and do what works best for him until he learns sleep the way you want him to. 

The most important thing, that I've just recently learned for myself, is that you have to do what works best for YOU.  EASY is not so rigidly structured that it has to be the same for everyone - which I was pretty convinced it was.  We all do very different things, I've found, while still following the same general pattern.  If I didn't finally veer off and do what I was comfortable with for Joey, I was going to officially lose my marbles!!!
Mary Pat





Offline GraysonsMommy

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Does this sound right?
« Reply #3 on: September 17, 2005, 17:28:37 pm »
Well, here's the thing, he does the EASY schedule pretty much on his own, I never had to force it, but he does need his naps (1.5-2 hours) or he turns into a bear.  Also, at night, he is waking frequently.  I've never left him crying without being there for him, but I don't want to get into the habit of rocking him or walking him back to sleep, so he is crying while I am there with him, either doing the p/u-p/d or sh-sh and patting.  There is always some form of contact, but he still cries so hard at times when nothing at all works for him, other than giving in and letting him wake up after only 20-45 minutes down.  When I persist, he does eventually fall asleep and lasts 1.5-2 hours for his naps and it's random at night.  I'm just hoping that I am doing the right thing by persisting and insisting that he sleeps rather than giving in to him.  Part of the problem is that he has always relied on the pacifier and I have taken that away.  I will NEVER let him cry alone, that's for sure, so I know he's aware that I am there with him, he's just awful persistent himself.  Like mommy like baby! 

Jessica
Grayson born 5/28/05
A Spirited and slightly Touchy little guy

http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a214/luckylot1999/6f36d4a2.jpgimg07610qs.th.jpg[/img][/URL]