Struggling with no naps

[milliesmaw]

I know there are many similar posts but I have had such a horrible day I am looking for some encouragement and guidance. DS is nearly 7 weeks and since he was about 3 weeks resists falling asleep during the day. His nightime sleep bizarrely is ok and after a final feed at about 8pm he will go to sleep from awake and for the last couple of nights has fed at 11pm and 4am. That is fine by me

But I struggle day after day to get him to nap during the day and due to lack of sleep he gets more and more cranky as the day proceeds and by the end of the day is screaming relentlessly :cry: Monday - Wednesday this week I had quite a lot of success with pat/sh into the crib and he napped more successfully than ever before. However as I have a DD who is 23 months I cannot spend the time need to settle him for the rest of the week (she is at daycare Mon - Wed)

Yesterday we were at a friends house and she rocked him gently and then put him in the car seat and he slept for 5 hours :shock:  He still slept ok last night.

I have been taking him to the bedroom for a nap after about an hour of awake time or whenever he makes his first cry. I have not been able to swaddle as he is too strong but I have tried to give him a paci. I have been trying to remove it before he falls asleep however he constantly wakes up after 20 minutes. Prob because when dd is around I do not have time to stay with him for the sleep cycle.

Anyway I would love to know how others manage especially if you have other children.

I have felt so low today - the constant crying (him) is really affecting the whole family and I feel like I really can't do this. Once he misses his first nap the whole day deteriorates and he will not be calmed. I know I just need to persevere but feel like I am living in chaos and not coping very well

Any words of wisdom v gratefully received

TIA

Jo

[Private]

HI JO,

My children are 23 months apart.....

Do you BF and bottle feed. Could he have gas?

I found that SOY formula is the best alternative to breast milk..

Have you tried SOY formula?  It is great for fussiness and gas problems.

Do you put him on his tummy for a few minutes before he falls asleep. That always helped my son, and than when he fell asleep I would slowly turn him over.....as soon as he burped he was fine!

I hope this helps!

[Meg's Mom]

I can't offer help w/ more then one, as i only have 1 -

I have been taking him to the bedroom for a nap after about an hour of awake time or whenever he makes his first cry

Maybe by this point he is overtired, it could be that less A time is what he needs.  Young LOs are overtired in the blink of an eye.

I would also do a search in our board for the Auzzie swaddle, this may help or try the miracle blanket which i used until 7mo!

Hang in there, his brain is working on learning how to stay asleep during the day. Day sleep is much different from night sleep. Completely different process.

When he falls asleep, the first 20 mins are light sleep (with partial awakenings every 10 mins.. looks like a jolt of her body, or some babies will open their eyes completely) After 20 min of light sleep, the body enters a deep sleep. Another jolt around the 30 min mark, and then normally out of the sleep cycle at 40-45 mins and repeat.  But w/ your LO the jolt at 20mins is waking him right into consciousness and completely wake.  Swaddling if you can and also wake to sleep may help.

Try the wake to sleep technique: set your timer and get in there before the 20min mark.   Put your hand on the thigh, top arm, and other hand shielding over eyes to block visual stimulation. Some pressure (not over eyes of course) but not hard. This does not usual work immediately and in the beginning, stay at least 20 mins. 

Remember you can only do what you can -

[Katet]

Jo, I was going to check how things are going... evidently the Paci hasn't helped too much, or you decided not to use it.
What I used to do with Aiden, was to put all his toys away each night & he started the day with 2 & then a toy trail was set up between the living area & Liam's room, so that tended to slow him down.
I also used to do very little with Liam after the feed & then would sit & read stories to both boys before I put Liam down for his nap... it seemed if Aiden gets some of my time, he is less demanding of it in the following time frame.
That said Liam is an easy baby & Ben sounds like Aiden (hey they share a birthday!)
Look for the Aussie Swaddle, it worked wonders for both my boys as they haven't really woken at the jolts... being an Aussie, it is the one I was shown in hospital, so I never knew any different.
Hang in there as they both get older it does get easier.
Oh & as you said if the first nap doesn't work, the day is shot... well my trick there was feed... then put Liam in his cot & then go back a bit later & settle for a sleep... he never really left his room.

[milliesmaw]

Hi ladies - thanks for your help. I was in the depths of despair yesterday but luckily today was better so will not be packing my bags quite yet :wink:
Jolicota - I think he is quite gassy and he does enjoy lying on his front sometimes but I don't think that is a major cause of his not sleeping. I did to begin with and I thought it was colic but then i realized that whenever he cried he was tired and needed to sleep. If I can get him to sleep regularly during the day we don't get the constant crying.
Meg's mom - yes I think you're right, I think he is tired often really quickly. Have checked out the aussie swaddle and will give that a go. The instructions look really comprehensive.
Kate - thanks for thinking of me. I have used the paci but not all the time and I was struggling with removing it and him waking up. I will try and be a bit more creative with keeping Millie occupied - the trail of toys sounds great. It's hard, she doesn't have a great attention span, wants to be held, shouts v loudly in Ben's face etc :roll: And will try the swaddle. When i was in hospital this time they told me they can't teach swaddling as there is a danger of babies overheating so i've always struggled with it.
It's the constant crying through the day that really gets me down and I think the i get stressed and he prob senses my stress and cries even more :evil:
Bloomin' leo babies - they always want to be centre of attention :lol:
Thanks again.

[Katet]

Jo, I swaddle in a light muslin wrap & we are a lot hotter here than you are, so I think you should be ok if you use a cot sheet, rather than a blanket.
Also when he crys & you feel yourslef getting stressed, take a few deep breaths. I hated the crying too - Liam isn't much of a crier, but when he does oh I tense up like nothing else. Aiden's crys I can cope with as I tend to know why they have happened & I'm prepared before.
I feel like I spend half my life taking deep breaths & trying to remain calm. But for the most part I do think it helps me.
Totally agree Leo Babies !
Thought of a couple of other "toddler occupiers'
I feed Aiden a snack
We play the tunnel game I stand 'rocking Liam over my shoulder & make a tunnel between my legs & he crawls through that & under chair legs... but he has to do it quietly, otherwise the tunnel with shut down. So after doing that for 5mins or so, Liam is usually pretty calm & I can put him down for a nap, mind you my back kills if I do that more than once a day.

[CW]

You know, I read this trail and I just have to say...mom's really are amazing!  This motherhood stuff is hard work (more so with more than one lo!) and it's just a testament to all of those out there who are trying to figure things out day after day.  The balancing act is unbelievable!

[milliesmaw]

Hey CW you are right! At least after a hard day at work I could come home and switch off! It's great to see the results though and have happy children That is what I aim for...hopefully!

Some great toddler occupier tips Kate thanks. I give Millie a snack when I'm feeding as in the early days it took about 45 mins. More like 10 mins these days so much more manageable.

Yes I can cope with Millie crying as well as I know I'll be able to console her but Ben's cries are so angry and loud and relentless. Today he had a series of 45 minute naps which I know were not enough so i took him out in the pram as I had to go to the shops. And he cried the entire way. I thought it was overtiredness but I also think he hates to be put down. Or something :roll:

Tomorrow is another day!