HELP - Fights naps like mad!

[GraysonsMommy]

I don't know, if this post belongs here or in the "props" thread, so I will post to both!  Our very spirited son is 16 weeks old and we have taken away the binky, cold turkey.  It was causing frequent night wakings for replacement so we just decided that the best way for everyone to get some sleep was to remove the problem.  We also took away his middle of the night feeding and added a DF which has actually been going surprisingly well.  We make sure he gets all of his calories by the time he is done with his DF.  At the same time, we started using Tracy Hogg's techniques (sh-sh-pat and p/u-p/d) to help soothe him through the rough patches.  We started all of this four days ago.  His night time sleep is improving, he only woke once after his DF, at 3am and he played in his crib until 4am.  Then he started crying so we went in to help him out.  He was stuck at the bottom of the crib and just needed some repositioning.  Once he was moved, he was out cold, on his own!  He woke again at 5am and with some persistence and crying, we got him to go back to sleep until 6.  He played until 6:30 and then I fed him.  This is a far stretch from the every one to two hour wakings for soothing.  That was how last week was.  We didn't let that go on for very long, before making the decision that he needs to learn to soothe himself, but we are not fans of the CIO method, so here we are. 

Anyway, my real reason for being here.  We have been able to sh-sh-pat him back to sleep pretty easily at night with the exception of our second night, b/c he is still groggy mostly.  But his naps, whoa!!  What a different story!  He does NOT want to go down and fights me so badly that I often want to give in and stick the binky in his mouth.  He cries so hard he breaks blood vessels around his eyelids.  When he used the pacifier, he would go to sleep so easily.  Now, he's like a demon child and I dread each and every naptime. I am waiting for The Baby Whisperer book to arrive, I just ordered it, so in the meantime, I want to make sure I am doing this right.  For a 3-6 month old, when doing p/u-p/d, are you supposed to soothe until he is calm and then put him down or p/u and then p/d immediately?  With him going cold turkey on the pacifier, I wonder if I should be more flexible on this??  I am so afraid of creating a new sleep crutch, if I don't do this right.  Also, he ALWAYS wakes up at the 45 minute and 1 hour mark of his naps.  I have to sh-sh-pat him through that, sometimes with a HUGE struggle and lots of crying, sometimes very easily.  He really needs 1.5-2 hour naps and if I persist, I can always get him there, but not always easily.  Does anyone have any advice for getting him past this hump?  Today he managed to get by it himself and sometimes he does, but not usually.  I guess I could go in before I expect it and catch him before he gets really awake, but wouldn't that be hindering his ability to soothe himself?  Since this is all so new,  I'm not sure what is right and I don't want to confuse him by starting something one way and then changing it on him.  Help!!

Jessica with Grayson - 16 weeks/1day

[Aarismom]

Hiya Jessica!

Sounds like you're doing great so far! Congrats on getting him through most of the night.

Ok--pu/pd. First of all, I would read the sleep interview with Tracy. She's very specific in how to do this technique. To make a quick answer to your question, at 16 weeks, yes, pick up, calm down, put down. If he starts crying for you again, rinse and repeat When he gets closer to 6 months, then you would pick up, put down immediately. At least that's how I understand it.

As for going in before he starts his jolts, no, it doesn't affect self soothing, because he's still mostly asleep, and tired enough to go back to sleep. You're just helping him by making the transition back into deep sleep more smooth. I've found it doesn't ALWAYS work for mine anymore, sometimes I have to just let her fuss herself back to sleep, and only help if she cries out to me. I think once you pick up the difference between regular fussing and crying out it makes it a lot easier on you, because you know that he really doesn't need you yet (or at all; fussing often seems to be a way to self soothe).

Also, how long are you keeping him up? I think at 16 weeks, you're looking at 1.5 hour wake time, getting ready to push toward 2 hours in the next few weeks.

As for the paci, great job on the weaning. This does take some work, but I'm sure he'll get it What you could do is allow him to start to fall asleep with it, then pull it when his sucking reflex lightens up when he's starting to fall asleep. Or, you could continue to do it the way you're doing it. Both ways work, pulling it out at the right time is a matter of timing and experience.

Hope some of this helps!

*HUGS*
Sonya =P

[GraysonsMommy]

Thanks Sonya!
I tried the gradual weaning of the pacifier and that didn't go over well, he gets more frantic when he gets it sometimes and not always.  Also, I started noticing that there were times when he didn't need it to fall asleep and other times when he needed it, so I thought it would be best to get rid of it now, before it becomes MORE of a habit.  I need fast results so cold turkey seems to be doing the trick.  He used to need it all the time, we weaned that down to just sleepy and cranky times, now not at all and he's great all day without it, but come nap time...arghhh!  If I were to fee dhim to sleep, he wouldn't need it, but I want to avoid that as well.  We do feed to sleep for the last feeding of the night, just before bedtime.  I don't want him to start his night frantic and crying, so he normally goes down really easily then.  The key here is that I want to pick something, some way of working through this and stick to it, rather than trying a little of this and and a little of that, because I think it's the consistency that he needs most.  Whatever it is, we need to be consistent.  That is why we decided to go cold turkey and stick with it.

Thanks so much on the p/u-p/d advice.  DH and I were on different pages there.  He thought it was p/u-calm-p/d, like you said and I thought otherwise.  So he's right and I'm glad, because I hate the way Grayson cries.  DH always does better putting him down, and that is probably because he would calm him first, then p/d.  DUH! 

I think I may try going into Grayson's room at the 30min, 45min, and 1 hour mark of his naps to see if I can head off the jolts.  Maybe if I do this enough, he will sleep through?  He's already getting better.  Oh, and he seems to be going closer to 2 hours between naps now, do you think that is ok at 16 weeks?  He was religiously going 1.5 but it seems to be stretching out more and more lately.  If I put him down too early, he fights harder than if I wait until he's really sleepy and calmer.  I hope I'm not creating an overtiredness....I just wish he could talk to us!!   :roll:  Somethign that seems to work too is to put him in his vibrating bouncy chair for a bit before his naps.  It calms him just enough usually that it can be much easier to put him down.  Do you think that is a crutch in and of itself?  I am so nervous about creating new sleep crutches to elliminate others, he he.

Jessica

[GraysonsMommy]

Sonya,
Just an update.  After following your advice on the p/u-p/d method for his age (to include calming him in between) he went down for his nap sooooo much easier!  No hard crying, just a little cry here and there, some fussing and twisting.  It took about 30 minutes, but it was much less stressful for both of us.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!!  Now, if he will only stay there, he he.  I am going to visit his room in 30/45 minutes and one hour to make sure that if he stirs, I'm there to keep him sleeping!  YEAY!  There's hope for us afterall.  And he only woke twice last night, after his DF.  I think we are getting there.

Oh, one more question....Does this process become another sleep crutch or is there some way of weaning off of this too?  I know, it's probably all in the book, but I'm so anxious to know the future, lol.

Jessica