Help! i'm sad about EASY

[maggieruth]

i have just got the BW book and am very excited by aspect of it, especially the bit where i will (hopefully) be better able to figure out what it is my ds wants and needs.

he is a pretty textbook baby though so usually i feel like i do okay.  where he is not textbook is to do with sleeping.  he fights hard against going to sleep.

so we have our own morning routine where i feed him to sleep around 10am on our bed whilst we listen to a french language CD.  it works really well and is one of my favourite times of the day.  thinking about giving it up when we start EASY after reading the book makes me sooo sad.

i want to be a good mom, what do i do?

[Mariek]

Hi Maggie

Changing your routine can be tough on you as well as your lo. What you need to ask yourself is why you want to change the routine in the first place? More than likely it's because you want some structure and you want to understand your baby and you want to fit your baby into your family and not the other way around (if you've read and loved Tracy's book then you're probably on board with all these reason).

What I would say is, ask yourself if you still want to be feeding him to sleep 6/7 months down the line because the longer you do it, the more difficult it will be to break the habit.

You could try to build into the routine some other way to get this special time together so that you don't feel you're missing out these bonding moments (they are special and they are important for both of you). Just because you change to the EASY routine doesn't mean you have to lose those moments of closeness, you just have to find an different way to have them.

HTH

love

[OrlaB]

If your feeding your lo inorder to help him sleep, as opposed to him needing the feed, then why not give a drink of diluted fruit juice when you listen to the CD instead?

If not then feed a bit earlier, and then listen to the CD as he goes off to sleep.

EASY isn't about taking away the niceties, it's about helping your baby know what to expect, so that they are more relaxed. My EASY routine is fine in the morning, but at lunchtime it becomes ESY and then it's EAESY in the evening, with bath, bottle & bed! So I wouldn't worry too much.

You are going to be a fantastic Mum! You're teaching your lo French for goodness sake, and fighting sleep is what loads of babies do. I like to think that it's a sign of intelligence and that they just don't want to miss anything.

Good luck!

[maggieruth]

thanks Guys,

Marie-i am not great with routines so am not that fussed on having one, its the understanding my ds's needs well and having him fit in with us that i am keen on.  of course having said that, i DO have the morning feed routine and look forward to it if i am having a busier morning or ds is slightly crabbier.
Ethan is going to daycare 3 days a week in 4 months (other things that make me sad!) so at some point he will have to give up our little morning ritual. sigh.
also, having a routine means something to aim for (and fail at!) as Ethan is pretty happy now i don't often feel like i am letting him down. 

Orla- i am glad that i am not the only one to ESY in the evening.  By the time that my lo is falling asleep in the morning it is a good 2 to 3 hours since he woke up sometimes and as he is only on the 9th centile for growth i figured i was better to err on the side of more feeds to help him sleep longer.

At any rate, i haven't even finished reading the BW yet so it will take me some time to implement it.  hopefully by then i will be more at peace with it, your support definately helps me see things in new ways, 
thanks ladies.

[momofowen]

I just wanted to send you a hug, and to let you know that in your heart you knwo what is right to do.  That goes with everything.  As Tracy used t osay "Start as you mean to go on" - So if you can not feed him to sleep in 4 months as he is going to caycare, or when he is 5 are you going to be feeding him to sleep?  I know that sounds funny but... if you think that way you wil do what is best.  You sound like a fantasic mommy, keep it up!

[webfoot]

I bf my baby to sleep shamelessly.

IMHO they are only small once and before it you'll have them up and runing around and all those tender moments will be gone.

If the bf to sleep is making baby wake up every 2 hours at night and you're pulling your hair b/c of lack of sleep clearly you have to do some work in this issue. But a lot of babies can be bf to sleep and not have any problems from it.

With my little one I bf to sleep, but we've slowly been working on sleeping on your own here or there. For this one putting yourself to sleep is something he caught onto really quickly. I can't say my first one was that easy, but they are all different.

EASY is a guide, do what works for you.

[alison toms mum]

I really struggled with EASY at first aswell and have only just stopped BF my LO to sleep (hes 4 months and I have been trying to do EASY since 2 weeks). I was often in tears as Im a perfectionist and hated "not doing it right", as someone said though EASY is a guide, you also don't have to impliment everything at once if you find it too hard.

Dont be too   once EASY is implimented it can be a real help