Please, please help a tired Mama out.

[ameliabedelia]

I'm desperate, fellow Mamas. Please help me.

A little background. I'm a single mom to an eleven month old baby girl, who for the most part, is an incredible little person who warms my heart. BUT...I'm getting a little resentful at her sleeping habits and I know that's not healthy for me or her. I need to change things and I need to do it yesterday, I just don't know how and am really hoping that one of you will be able to help me.

The only way that she can go to sleep is by nursing first. That's fine .She's an exclusively breastfed baby and I'm now just starting to introduce formula to her. it is my hope that in the next month or so we'll be down to only nursing at night and maybe first thing in the morning. Up until this point the only way she falls asleep is by nursing. She also doesn't have much of an interest in eating solids, so still, breastmilk is her primary source of nutrition.

The problem is that she wakes up every two to three hours, all night long. All. Night. Long. Her first wake up in always, without fail, an hour after she goes down for the night. I've tried leaving her for a few minutes but she just screams and screams. I can't handle that and neither can she. The only thing that will calm her is to nurse. She isn't hungry, it's a comfort thing.

I need to stop this. Obviously.

Two weeks ago I moved her crib from my bedroom to her own room and now instead of falling back to sleep with her in my bed, she sleeps in her own bed all night, so we're making progress. This night waking has got to stop.

Thanks so much in advance, ladies. I really appreciate any and all advice. At this point, I'm hanging on by a very thin thread.

Cheers,

[Diego's Mama]

Hi there.

I think you have several issues here.  The first is that your daughter associates sleep with nursing.  It's the only way she knows how to fall asleep.  If you read Tracy's third and newest book, she clearly outlines how to work on independent sleep with a baby of one year of age.  Honestly, you'll have to sit down and spend some time reading Tracy's strategies if you're looking to invest in them.  You're talking about significant changes in how you approach your child's sleep and routines and I think you need to learn the ropes with Tracy's books first.  It would take us a long time to regurgitate all of Tracy's info here.

Aside from independent sleep, I don't think you can realistically expect her to sleep long stretches on breastmilk alone at this age. 

There are so many different approaches to parenting, all valid.  Tracy's ideas are just one approach. I highly recommend reading her books to see if you feel they'll suit your family and situation.  We can offer pointers and clarifications and help you implement her ideas if you do decide they are for you.

Unfortunately there are no quick fixes.  You'll have to spend a large amount of time 'fixing' the situation.

Best wishes.

[ameliabedelia]

Laura, thank you. I do have and have read The Baby Whisperer. I guess it's the first, original one. As you can probably tell, I didn't know there were more than one book. Which one is it that will help me with this specific issue?

Thanks, again.

[Diego's Mama]

The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems.  There's a link to it in Amazon at the top of the screen.  I don't mean to put you off, but Tracy gives a detailed plan for your situation:  what to do, what to expect, how long it will take, etc.

I do think, though, that if this is the road you want to follow, you should work on solid food with her a lot before tackling sleep.  She's so active at this age and is burning lots of calories, you need to know that she's taking in enough for those long sleep stretches. 

Also, work on introducing loveys -- blankets, teddy bears, etc. that she can snuggle.

And you may want to do pu/pd during her naps and start there?  Truly, read the new book first and decide how you want to approach things.

Bless.

[tylersmommy]

Laura has given you some good advice here...let me add one more thing. As she said, breastmilk alone isn't going to sustain her to sleep longer stretches. Have you tried finger foods with her yet? It's very common for babies at this age to completely reject eating anything from a spoon and only want to self feed or take finger food from your fingers. I know when my DS was that age, that's ALL he ate. Hopefully that will help you get some more calories into her so we can tackle the other issues!

[stasztk]

Have you tried mixing your breast milk in with cereal? That way it still tastes more like what she is used to. She really needs to eat more than breast milk. I don't think formula is a good idea since she will be old enough for regular milk in just a months time. But if she'll drink that and not regular milk you may not have a choice.
I can understand how this has come about. You are a single mama right? In order to get enough sleep for work in the morning you have her sleep with you. I can totally understand. You do need to know that this is not going to be easy to fix. But once you do you will hardly remember how hard it was.
I wish you the very best.

[GG]

Congratulations on getting your baby to fall asleep in her crib!  From what I hear, that can be a huge problem!  Now you're ready to tackle the feed to sleep problem.

You have been given some very good advice!  I'd also like to add that the following sleep interview is packed full of great information:

http://www.babywhisperer.com/forum/special-sleep-interview-with-tracy-hogg-vt3188.html

I highly recommend reading it.  Once you read the information and put together a game plan, let us know if you have any questions.