Author Topic: Another bad day :(  (Read 2184 times)

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Offline hana1978

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Another bad day :(
« on: September 20, 2005, 08:24:12 am »
I dont know what im doing wrong, things are getting really bad...no REALLY  :twisted: BAD :twisted:
The thing is i have been consistent, i havnt drifted back into accidental parenting - he goes into his cot tierd but awake like always, the wind down is the same the awake time i extended to 2hrs - maybe this is the problem?  Today i gave him 1h30 then put him in his cot he went baaaaaaaaaalistic !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  He was clearly tierd but i thought id get in there quick before he starts moaning otherwise hes harder to settle - but nope he was really really upset.  I didnt get him out or do PUPD (still dont know if hes ready for this at 5.5months corrected age 3.5months) i shh/patted him to sleep - took about 20min which doesnt seem bad but he was doing it for weeks by himself so i dont understand this - nothing had changed its like hes forgotton or doesnt want to play ball anymore! 
Is it possible sleep training like this can take months to sink in?  Its like we have a really good couple of days and then it goes to the other extreame where were both just crying all day until DP gets home.  I know i shouldnt say this but im not enjoying my time at home with him anymore - i dread each day and each nap time i feel sick with anxierty.  I cant wait for the day he has just one nap a day and is fine - having to do this 3-4 times a day is just depressing  :cry:
Hana.xx

Offline webfoot

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Another bad day :(
« Reply #1 on: September 20, 2005, 08:47:32 am »
Your age tells me that teething could be culprit and boy can it affect things.

My expericence has been that when baby isn't napping or doing whatever to try a little hands on inspired AP treatment and get them  back to that molding state. IMHO you have three options bf / feed to content with modifications to reduce additction/sleep issues.  Do pu/pd to wean off props and put self to sleep. / Let baby not necissarly CIO but fuss at least a little.

So my bubs:

#1: fuss /CIO??? dh and I were both working full time

#2: she was a self fusser, all that was needed.. little wah wah, out like a  light

#3: spoiled rotten co-sleeper, easiest baby in the world. Quite honestly he is so spoiled an indulged and I probalbly should  have a game plan for his bf and sleeping through the night but quite honestly he's my last I could accidental parent him till the cows came home. LOL!  :lol:
Tanya

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Offline Aarismom

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Another bad day :(
« Reply #2 on: September 20, 2005, 12:51:37 pm »
Hey I'm medicated and I still dred naptime. Except I'm not as anxious about it anymore, I feel more laid back about it.

Looks like we're having to re-train for naptime here too. My lo is starting to cry and fuss a lot more before going down for sleep, even though I've been giving baby tylonal, because I think she's really starting to teeth too. I think she just needs to stay up a little longer, but she seems more wound up than usual before nap/bedtime. She usually settles right down as soon as we get into the routine, that's how much she's come to expect it. But since she finally came down off the 45 min nap phase, she's been pretty irritable...and she's figured out how to screech, so she does that most of her waking time now, and then practices "flying" right before going to sleep.

My poor cat Luna (ragdoll breed), who is our watch-cat, keeps running up to her during floorplay when she's screeching and patting her on the behind and back with her paw, licking her face, doing what ever she can to calm the kid down because she think that Aari is hurt or crying. It's really really cute to watch, very humerous. I guess its that kitty maternal instinct. I guess Aari does sound like a kitten when she screeches :lol:

Well, better go, I think I'm in for a loooong day...Aari got 12.5 hours of sleep last night, I have a really bad feeling I'll have a day full of 40 min naps.

*HUGS*
Sonya =P


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Offline albertasweetpea

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Another bad day :(
« Reply #3 on: September 20, 2005, 13:10:37 pm »
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Hey I'm medicated and I still dred naptime. Except I'm not as anxious about it anymore, I feel more laid back about it.
LMAO Sonya...I can totally relate!

Hana you poor thing!! I think alot of us can really relate to the not enjoying being with the baby when they aren't napping and we aren't napping and everyone is all around cranky!! Just a consideration, do you have post partum depression? Are you on meds?? It won't help with your LO's sleeping but will help you be better able to deal with it.

I'm wondering if since your LO was a preemie, you say 3.5 months corrected age, maybe he needs to be awake less and not more? What about stimulation? What are you doing for activity time? What about night time sleep? How often does he wake up? What time does he go to bed?

Not sure if I can help but posting answers to these questions might bring to mind some answers from other Mom's too!

Hang in there, wish I was closer to give you a hug.

 :D
~Michelle (Spruce Grove, AB, Canada)

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Offline GG

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Another bad day :(
« Reply #4 on: September 20, 2005, 13:10:40 pm »
Hana, I'm so sorry you feel that way!  {{{HUGS}}}  I've been there with my ds.  I dreaded his naps (4-6 a day) and looked forward to when he went to sleep at night!  I felt so horrible for thinking this way, despite the fact that he was otherwise a happy and fun baby (I loved when he was awake).  He still has his good days and bad days but that's expected of a spirited/touchy baby, which he is.

How long has your little one been acting this way?  The beginning of the teething phase could be setting in, as Tanya (webfoot) mentioned.  However, could it also be something like an ear infection or reflux?

Also, when did you extend the awake time?  Did you go straight to 2 hours or did you do it slowly, in 15 minute increments?  If you didn't extend it slowly that may be the problem.  Then, when you went back to 1.5 hours, he wasn't used to it and fussed.

Any other information that you may have forgotten?  Has he started rolling over or sitting up?  Anything else you can think of?

Don't give up!  Tracy did say that there will be setbacks.  Babies have their good days as well as their bad, just like we do.  If you remain consistent in what you do, they will stay on course over the long run.
Georgia, mom to 3 sweet babes: touchy Foti, spirited Lena & not-so-tiny Joanna




Offline Aarismom

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Another bad day :(
« Reply #5 on: September 20, 2005, 14:58:14 pm »
I think Michelle might be on to something.

You might be pushing his wake time too fast, try putting him down between an hour and 20 to an hour and 40.

You're going through a tough spot right now. Adjusted, your lo's age is 3.5 months, therefore you're just hitting the 45 min nap phase. Sit back, relax, and understand that it will pass. But it's not an easy phase to go through.

Mine did the exact same thing as your lo, and I reacted exactly as you are now. Screaming, crying until my DH got home; I would often call him at work in tears, and he would end up coming home early just to relieve me. I often ended up on the floor in a heap crying uncontrollably. I had a real problem obsessing about naps. I never left the house unless I absolutely had to. This was just a few weeks ago! This started at about the 3 month point and went on for weeks, as her naps progressively got worse.

Finally, last week I got help, went to see my psychiatrist. He put me on meds and treated it like PPD, and I can't believe the change. The day I started on meds she had a full day of 45 min naps...and I didn't freak! I was calm, collected, and I could think of what to do next. I can't tell you how amazed I was. She's had a pretty good week since then (with a few downs), but not once have I felt myself losing control of my emotions. TBH, I think being medicated helped her sleep. I wasn't as anxious and angry, and I knew she could sense that. Granted, the meds working the first day you start them isn't real typical, but then I've been on meds for depression and sleep for awhile, I just needed a change.

Anyway, just my story, thought it might help to know someone else has been there.

*HUGS*
Sonya =P


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Offline Matthew's Mommy

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Another bad day :(
« Reply #6 on: September 20, 2005, 19:12:53 pm »
Hey there.. big huge hugs to you!  If I could, I would be over there in a flash, but instead, I'll give you a shout tomorrow morning.

Okay, something is up, could be something physical-- teeth, ears. Could be a one of those crazy days, we all have them. 

Has it been just one day this happened, or is it every day now?  If it's one day, then brush it off as a wierd day. If it's become a new habit, then let's take a step back and re-evaluate everything. 

When was his last doctor's appointment?  Does he have one soon? Sometimes when everything goes wonky, doing a head-to-toe check is useful-- it rules out any physical issues.

Hang in there, and big hugs!
Jane
Whispering since 2001
Matthew July 27th, 2001
Brendan October 21st, 2004

Offline hana1978

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Another bad day :(
« Reply #7 on: September 20, 2005, 20:16:39 pm »
I feel like a huuuge weight has been lifted now DS is asleep in bed and DP is home - then i read all your responces and im now chilled out :D
And Sonja/albertasweetpea as of this afternoon i am now on meds too  :roll:  I need help to get a grip on things and well ive been down this path before so i know they help - maybe i do have pnd  :?
Im not sure if its teething - isnt he too young?  Wouldnt he teeth at his corrected 6 months?  I have an appointment at the hosp tomorrow to check on his development so it will be a good oportunity to get him checked out to make sure nothing medical is wrong.  He does/did have reflux but im convinced this isnt the problem - he hasnt has an episode in weeks and weeks - but again ill check tomorrow!
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Also, when did you extend the awake time? Did you go straight to 2 hours or did you do it slowly, in 15 minute increments? If you didn't extend it slowly that may be the problem. Then, when you went back to 1.5 hours, he wasn't used to it and fussed
Yeh this might be a factor, but ive only increased by 15min as i always count the 15min in his cot getting to sleep part of his wake time if you see what i mean - in otherwise hes in his cot at 1h45 instead of 1h30 so that hes asleep by the time it hits 2hrs - hope that makes sence??
Quote (selected)
Has it been just one day this happened, or is it every day now? If it's one day, then brush it off as a wierd day. If it's become a new habit, then let's take a step back and re-evaluate everything
Its been all wkd and all of this week, something has changed - i changed his awake time last week and he was fine - every nap he fights now, bedtime is easy as hes exhausted.  I have bailed twice and put him in the car or pram but 9 times out of 10 he sleeps in his cot or not at all.
I know i must have done something to make him like this - ill try and decrease his awake time tomorrow and see if it makes a differance!
Thanks again everyone - sorry for being such a drama queen xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hana.xx

Offline hana1978

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**Update**
« Reply #8 on: September 21, 2005, 10:59:30 am »
Hi everyone , thanks again for your replies yesterday, i know i can be a bit of a nightmare when i get worked up  :roll:  I spent a huge chunk of yest just on the floor sobbing like it was the end of the world - i need to chill more i know that!
I took on board what you said and today i have decreased his awake time so that he is in his cot at 1h30.  This morning it took me 30m to shh/patt him off to sleep and he slept 30m  :roll:  i can not shh/patt him back off so i left him for 10m then got him up.  I kept him up another 1h30m before putting him back down (not sure if this was too much due to lack of sleep for first nap) he fussed for 5mins then fell asleep independantly for the first time in days - phew! 

Maybe increasing his awake time played more of a part in this then i thought - i felt certain 15m wouldnt/couldnt have that drastic an outcome. 

What is the proper awake time for a 3.5 month old and a 5.5 month old? 

Sometimes its like hes not tierd, he doesnt always show signs but i put him down anyway - maybe this is where im going wrong?  Hes fighting coz hes not tierd?  Maybe somedays hes happy to be up 2hrs and others not?  Should i watch for signs or just continue to keep him up 1h30 no matter what?  Im hoping today will run smoothly now!

Hey there.. big huge hugs to you! If I could, I would be over there in a flash

Yest if i could i would have flown over and kidnapped you  :lol:
Hana.xx