Author Topic: Sleeping together - asking for trouble?  (Read 756 times)

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tuta

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Sleeping together - asking for trouble?
« on: September 20, 2005, 20:34:47 pm »
Hi Ladies,

Just wanted to run something past you all to get some honest advice.

I have always, always, always had problems with dd#1's sleeping :roll: .  Separation anxiety, using me as a comforter (or rather my hair), nightwakings, inability to self sooth, night terrors, having to lye with her until she slept, coming into our bed OMG the list goes on and on (I have posted before about her and got some great advice).  I also have a lot of trouble with DH about this because he always wants to keep her up later than I want to and crumbles straight away at the first sign of tears  :roll:  :roll:  :roll:  :roll: .  Dd#2 on the other hand is amazing, no bother at all  :wink:.

Okay, so we have just come back from a long holiday in the USA.  Some of the time we stayed with my sister, she has 2 sons a 7yo and a 3 1/2yo.  Both are fantastic at bedtime, upstairs, teeth brushed, toilet, prayers and lights out - no messing at all.  Dd#2 went straight up no bother as usual, she did this in all the places we stayed (4 in total) with not a peep.  Dd#1 on the other hand gave us a hard time, was up late every night and woke up a lot crying etc (much as we expected).  On the last night BIL decided to take her to bed and go up to her when she cried.  He ended up there quite a while  :roll: on more that one occasion  :roll: However, he eventually settled her down and informed us that she was she wasn't really upset and that all this was just an act to get us to do what she wanted.  He also told us that he would just let her cry for a couple of nights and that should be the end of that.  I guess that was the green light for me bacuse when we got back and while the jet lag was still hitting us all I decided to press the reset button on dd#1 and her crappy sleeping habits. 

I started by taking her up to bed earlier (8pm) reading her a couple of stories (which I allowed her to choose) making an excuse and leaving the room but hanging out in my room.  The first night she cried for 2 1/2 hours.  Dh kept coming upstairs and growling at me I thought he was going to loose it with me at one point but I kept telling him to go downstairs.  The next night she cried for 1 hour (again Dh kept giving me little signs that he was really p****d off, the next night she asked to go into dd#2's room and fell asleep on a mattress on the floor (that was a lightbulb moment I can tell you).  I changed the whole top floor of the house the next day, put the two girls together and all the toys and games and books in what used to be dd#2's room and made it the play room.

Anyway, the first couple of nights went well, I took them both up at 7.30pm (a compromise for them both) a few stories, the light on and door open.  Still a few tears and sniffles from dd#1 that she didn't want to sleep there but she seemed great with the fact that she had company.  The girls have a right laugh in the room for at least 1 1/2 hours singing and telling stories, we have to shout up to them a few times.  I took them up at 7pm tonight because if they are going to muck around I would like them to settle down at a reasonable time.  I can leave the room - no lying with her or hair holding, go downstairs while they are still awake, no screaming just good night Mummy (sweet).  This is great - I am actually getting my nights back :D.

My question is (after all that waffle) is this detrimental to dd#2?  After all she had a quiet room, in bed by 7.30pm at the latest (well sometimes later if I could not prise her out of DH's hands), lights out no talking or mucking about.  Now she is in the opposite - will she cope? will they both settle down? will the mucking about time get less and less until they settle more or less straight away?  I don't want to mess dd#2 up for the sake of peace and quite from dd#1.  However, I must admit that I am a much saner and happier person because of this 'rearrangement' what do you think ladies - is this okay?

Tuta

stasztk

  • Guest
Sleeping together - asking for trouble?
« Reply #1 on: September 20, 2005, 20:54:32 pm »
Hey I think it was a great idea! They are adjusting to it and they will settle down if you tell them you will not tolerate it (In a nice way). Set a firm boundary that they are never allowed to cross and they will do better.
Again I think it was a brilliant idea :idea: .